sick read. can def relate to some of the story. kinda depressing.

Excellent story

Great pics that remind me of Davino´s "My QQ888 boat beat his hand" deleted thread.

what!!!!!111111 1!!! one111!!!!

Are you saying that thread is gone? I hate the search function, sue me.

v.nice, moar?

sup guys once again thanks for all the feedback. hrmmmmm... found this on a blog I used to hammer ages back. okay enjoi hopefully:::::::


Ah sweet variance . My life is a gigantic **** kicker rollercoaster ride that's never ****ing open. I did it live in Mackay last weekend. 5 hour drive just to crush a few poor amateurs with my overpriced net deck. I don't care ship me the invite I need to go to Canberra. Just imagine all the limitless amounts of vagina I'll have to swipe away now that I'm North Queensland magic champion. Everyone said fantasy card games couldn't get you any where and I'm living proof they are mostly right.

I'm right here again..back on the computer. The other day my flatmate came home and I was actually upstairs and she wtfd because my fat ****face was somewhere besides burning my eyes out in front of a computer screen. I'm always here. I play endless amounts of poker or I'm watching porn. Rinse Repeat. Never sleep. My gambling/masturbation schedule is far too packed full of both gambling AND masturbation. I'm the ultimate multitasker. I can put off 20 things at once and just sit down and play video games. It's hard to ignore everything your supposed to do in life and just lay down and wait to die but I've got that down to a tee.

Now I'm a big fan of the doggy style backwards spider man sex kiss. It's just hot. But other day I was doing my afternoon bestiality surfing and saw this video of this dog/asian gangbang and they were making out with the dogs in the exact same way. I couldn't stop imaging myself doing the same thing all the time.... as if I look like a ****ing dog while I'm humping and not just a small dicked disgusting whale like I've always envisioned myself. Needless to say, massive blow to my libido.

I was in the bathroom at the casino taking a piss a few weeks back and this guy in a suit next to me asks how's it going. I say 'yeah pretty good mate' and then he asks if I've ever gotten a headjob. Now, I've hung out in a lot of gaybars in my time so I was pretty sure where this was going. So I reluctantly said yes, fully expecting to get pulled into another unwanted homosexual encounter with a stranger in a public bathroom. Instead, he looks me in the eyes, like he's scouring my ****ing soul and rubbing bengay on my immaterial spirit wrist, and says:
"That's as good as it gets."
*sexy dramatic pause while shaking*
"How old are you? Well you look like yer in your 20s. LIsten to me kid it doesn't get better than getting your dick sucked. Your life's capped out on enjoyment right there. Only thing you have to look forward to now is dying. sorry for ruining the mystery."

****.

And a picture of me kicking it with a crackwhore

OMG EPIC last part

So many things wrong with that crackwhore pic I don't know where to start.
So it seems poker has its very own William S. Burroughs, nh sir. Again, what does pather aler mean

honestly i was really ****faced when I put up the first post so I'm not sure either. I googled it and first thing that came up was panther alert so gonna go with that.

lol, awesome

esp the pic

lol at gangsta pose also

Great read!

+1

this came to my mind first:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002488/



That last pic was just the icing on the cake to that poast back there son...top stuff. Keep it coming!

wow.. Forgot to mention your other hobbies? Guns and guitar hero?

Well you've proven that you're wasting a hell of a lot of comedic writing talent on poker. Your ability to quantify value in terms of masturbation/loads/effort is priceless.