Good posts wil318466
I think it should be added that:
1) OP, you have a lot of built up anger, that is most likely gonna become worse or release itself in not such a pretty way if left to it's self.
2) It is a mighty release to tell somebody your true thoughts, however it does come at a risk. I'm personally experimenting with a a-hole type strategy where I'm basically telling people what I think of their crap at times, tbh I don't think it's sustainable especially if you need social contact every few days.
3) If you really wanna say something but don't, especially in a situation where it's clear you have a incentive to lie, people can pick up on this. If due to social politics I'm put into a situation where I gotta lie, I give off a ton of body language signals that I'm lying, like putting my hands in front of my mouth. So try to come up with a strategy and experiment, you'll be more effective this way.
4) Experiment with opening up over trivial things, could be a release. So maybe instead of hiding that you do x shameful activity, just say it without any guilt like it's no big deal, could be masturbating(ofc be mindful of the context) or listening/watching a girly media thingo. Be careful not to give out too much information though; dish out trivial information whilst guarding stuff that matters, so don't tell people your actual weaknesses/wants, father's middle name, etc
Originally Posted by redarator
Also, for some reason unknown to me, I nearly never tell the truth when something involves numbers. I don't grossly distort the numbers, just ever so slightly. If someone asks how much I won in my last poker session. I'll tell them $283 when really I wont $279. It's weird.
I find this very bizarre; could you please elaborate on this?
Originally Posted by Vantek
I understand exactly what you mean OP.
Until a few years ago, I had been like that all my life (I felt bad about it when I had to tell white lies, and sometimes I was too blunt and caused conflicts). I had also had issues with clinical depression all my life. Then there was a period of 1,5-2 years when for the first time in my whole life I felt OK or even good. During this time, I had no problem telling white lies and I enjoyed talking to people despite the mutual dishonesty and faking.
Over the last half a year the clinical depression has come back and again I find all the lying hard to stomach. But now I'm not proud of it like I used to be. Now, I wish I could enjoy the shallow fake communication again, I just can't. I hope I will be able to again some day though.
If you are proud of your honesty, if you think it's "meaningful", think again. I thought so too but now I have realised it's a giant waste of time and a burden on my mental health. There is nothing meaningful about it. All it does is dry out the little time you have in this world.
I don't know if that's anything similar to you though.
That's a shame to hear.
I don't think the lying is the fundamental issue with you and I think you and OP are on a different page, although similar. Basically, it seems that OP's disgust is more targeted at a few specific thought processes and uncomfortable situations, whereas yours seems to be more at human interaction in general.
I find a useful social strategy to help overcome this issue is to try and guide the social interaction towards current environmental stimuli; that is, share the moments with them and try to avoid getting in a situation that gives them the opportunity to give off their opinion/articulate thought.
Originally Posted by danton32
I agree with you on these issues, it certainly is frustrating and can make me angry as well, but it's not fair to take a position like this solely based on emotion (think how much fun we would make of a Christian who's only argument for god is that they would feel sad if heaven wasn't real? Take your anger over legitimate outrages and focus on objectively communicating why what religion can do is so harmful for people and society.
The emotions are causing him pain, that's a pretty big incentive, to avoid pain. The emotions are a manifestation of a thought process anyway. But yeah probably not great to express his emotions harshly.
Originally Posted by Pokerlogist
If he has the slightest insight "Nah, I've been too busy" probably communicated to him your feelings about church to him pretty well.
Yeah, it's ironic because the reason why he would catch onto this is because of how often people lie under this dynamic.