No, really:








The floor is standard linoleum. This started more than one year ago. I can’t remove this “stain” by standard cleaners like sp*ic and span, Lysol with bleach, or a scouring pad (SOS pad). I thought at first it was perhaps some fungi/bacterial growth but I don’t think that is it. The linoleum is old so perhaps this is just a deterioration discoloration. I have fluorescent lights in the kitchen.

At present the 'stain' is covered with a rug, previously when not covered the “stain” was lighter in color, it became a darker color and spread when covered by the rug. Evil, as everyone knows, flourishes more in the dark! It would be very exciting if is this was some evil alien disease or growth that will eventually devour and destroy the entire Earth, but I don’t want to get overexcited about this possibility, however much I want it to be so.

Any ideas what this is - anyone?


-Zeno

you sir, have moisture under that linoleum. your assessment of fungus is correct, but its location is on the underside and hence why cleaning is futile

+1

If it's any consolation, fungi is pretty alien-like.

In the left side of the picture it looks like there is a tear. Maybe you can superglue that closed and hope it dies from lack of oxygen and goes away... if not you need to replace it methinks.

If it is individual squares you can just get a screwdriver and hammer and pop them up and throw down some new ones (there are probably extras in the basement, next to the alien spores).

If not, id get a box cutter and cut out the "infected" squares and let it air dry and see what happens. This stuff is cheap you could replace the entire floor for < $100 USD if you go that salvation army place or w/e it is called. Used works fine.

The important question is, did scrubbing with cleaning agents help at all? Major difference between doing little and doing nothing at all.

What color was/is the rug? Maybe we even can get a picture of it to assess material, and how it maybe would react with moisture or directly with worn linoleum?

Is that part of the floor in a spot where there is, or has been, especially much wear and tear for some reason?

Multicolored, soft reds, orange, biege, browns etc. The rug is a thick cotton material, weaved

-Zeno

Cleaning does nada, I even put some full strength bleach on the stuff once. A growth from the underside fits so the fungi diagnosis seems a good probability.

As an added note there are cuts, breaks, and tears (as noted by Ryanb9) where this occurs and it is near the sink so splash water would get on the floor more etc.

-Zeno

Most of the mycelium from psilocybin mushrooms bruises that particular shade of bluey purple when hit/walked on, so my expect scientific opinion is that you have lightly bruised magic mushroom mycelium growing under your floor, and that you should expose it to humid air as soon as possible to commence fruiting.

Most likely it's The Colour Out of Space. I recommend moving far away.

before the cops show up to bust you for posession with intent to distribute obviously. got to move your product son.

Hey there actually was an "alien case" or whatever where someone had some weird discoloration and weird indentations in their linoleum floor. I thought Zeno was referencing it imo :x

That "stain" in inverted commas three times is tilting me.

I think it's a battery.

nsfw

In all seriousness though you have a moisture problem somewhere and you need to correct it(unless you rent, then you should let the landlord know). It looks to me the linoleum is permanently stained by mold eating the paper backing.

What is this linoleum on top of? Concrete slab or wooden sub floor?

I'm fairly certain the linoleum is glued to a wooden subfloor. The linoleum is still adhered well to the floor so far. And yeah, I should inform my landlord. Have to do that anyway as the garbage disposal just went kaput. Space Alien bones are hard to grind up in case you didn't know.

-Zeno

Hmmm. I am doubting your engineering credentials.

If you put a rug back over the linoleum, the stain will disappear. To the less scientifically minded, it will seem as if you have magical powers. To the better informed, they will know that you used opacity to solve the problem.

Oh, and move before the alien mold kills you. Maybe consider buying a house. They are pretty cheap right now. Test for aliens before purchase though.

Think of Cicero, happy on the rack, and enjoy.


-Zeno