Oh hai dere SE...I figured that since I've spent the majority of my time here, and considering I'm not wearing the requisite helmet for 4L poasting today, I'd make my 2,000th poast here. When tuq closed GREEAR's epic Michigan women's softball thread with a few pics of hawt female athletes, it gave me an idea to construct my own Top 10 list of my personal favourites. I'm sure this has been done before, and I apologize to the mods in advance, but I haven't seen one in a while and I figured it was long overdue. Also, figured I'd add NSFW just incase.
If you want to criticize my selections and suggest your own entries, there is only one rule:
PICS OR GTFO. Amirite?
Hokay, with that in mind, I give you...
Geddy Lee's List of the 10 Hottest Women in Sports
10. Karina Petroni – I start the list with a bit of a surprise. Is surfing a sport? I don’t really care to be honest, Karina is stunningly sexy. As far as professional surfing accolades go, apparently she’s one of the best. They call her “surfing’s Sharapova.” I call her “zomg hawt.” Tomato, tomahto...either way, the beauty from Panama kicks off this list in righteous fashion, dude.
9. Morgan Pressel – Everybody loves a Jewish Princess, amirite? There’s a lot of hype surrounding Morgan, and quite rightly iyam. She’s already got a major under her belt and a ton of game to boot. When I look at Morgan, she gives off the rich, daddy’s girl vibe. You know what I’m talkin’ bout SE...that one girl in high school who had the sugar-sweet exterior and was far too important to even look at you, but in the back of your mind, you KNEW she was an absolute freak in bed. I’d love to give her the ol’ Tiger 3-wood stinger. Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it as well. Le’khaim!
8. Paula Creamer – I really feel for Paula. I really do. While Michelle Wie was grabbing the spotlight by getting her ass kicked on the PGA, Paula was quietly winning 10 professional events with little fanfare. Not only is Paula extremely talented, she’s absolutely gorgeous. IMO, her wholesome image and refusal to skank it up only heightens her sex appeal...I just can’t wait until her golf career deteriorates and forces her into shameless self-promotion, perhaps including a tantalizing spread in Playboy a la Katarina Witt. Hey, I can dream.
7. Danica Patrick - There's something incredibly sexy about a woman driving a multi-million dollar car in excess of 200 mph around an oval track. And now that she has a win under her belt, last year’s Indy Japan 300, she’s somewhat credible! Honestly, I could care less; Tony George killed American open wheel racing as we know it over a decade ago, so more power to shameless sex-driven gimmicks like Danica. I’d just like an opportunity to examine her curves...and I wouldn’t just focus on the left-hand side either. I don’t discriminate.
6. Ana Ivanovic - So gorgeous, even SE's resident Croatian poaster can't ignore her. Ana is ridiculously talented and should be a Grand Slam threat for a good few more years on the WTA. She is the reigning French Open women's champion and has a chance to repeat in Paris. I've often dreamt of making sweet, passionate love to the Serbian beauty, then feeding each other the Balkan dessert of palacinka whilst still embracing in bed after the physical romance hath ended. I don't care what my immigrant grandparents think...Volim te Ana!!!
5. Natalie Gulbis – If it isn’t obvious by now, I’m a big fan of teh golfurz. I think it’s safe to say that when it comes to the looks department, Natalie is terts and shoulders above the rest. She only has one win under her belt, coming at the 2007 Evian Masters in France; if she ever started winning with some consistency, she’d arguably be the biggest female superstar in the sports world. She’s been romantically linked with the NFL’s resident drunk Ben Roethlisberger in the past, so it’s safe to say that hooking up with her is a long shot at best. My play for winning her heart would be to pose as her swing coach, then teach her a thing or two about the ideal stroke. Remember what Chubbs said, Natalie: “It’s all in the hips.”
4. Jennie Finch - Ms. Finch is an absolute babe, perhaps the woman who best personifies the all-American girl-next-door persona in this list. Looks, talent and a wholesome smile, this is a girl you can bring home to mom. I’m still convinced Manny Acta could find a spot for her in the Nationals’ rotation. She automatically makes any episode of TWIB 10x better when she makes an appearance. I'd gladly accept a bit of chin music from Jennie; I'd hit the deck with pride, then charge the mound and spank her into submission. Oh Jennie...
3. Leryn Franco - The Anna Kournikova of our generation, she's barely an athlete; finished 51st overall in the women's javelin event at Beijing in 2008, coming up a full 15 feet short of her personal best. My only regret is that I wasn't there to comfort her after her epic fail on the field. Latina bombshells have a special place in my heart, and it’s tough to find a better one than her in the wide world of sports. Let's all say hai dere to Askmen.com's 86th place finisher in their '09 Top 99 women poll and the 2006 Miss Paraguay runner-up!
2. Maria Sharapova – How do you solve a problem like Maria? Submissive sex might be a good start. Even though she’s only 22 years of age, recent injuries might force the former world’s no. 1 into an early retirement. At least she’s got millions to fall back on through her numerous endorsements. Oh yea, did we mention that she’s a total fox? She’s been quoted as saying she doesn’t want to continue playing tennis forever and would rather settle down to raise a family. I salute the man who gets to inseminate that fine piece of Russian ass.
1. Allison Stokke - It takes one hell of a woman to dethrone Sharapova in these rankings. I think Allison is worthy of the number 1 slot for many reasons...well, probably just one, she's gorgeous. She just turned 20, so this California Bear theoretically still might be an Olympic threat in the pole vault one day for the States. If that fails, I'm sure she has a career in pole dancing at the very least. God Bless America.
Happy poasting!
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