Name: Phil Simms
Age: 61
Employer: CBS
Specialty: NFL color commentary
Known for: Taking the points



Name: Bill Plaschke
Age: 57
Employer: Los Angeles Times
Specialty: Sports journalism
Known for: Being a pretentious ****

Simms unintentionally provides massive entertainment when calling games. seriously, what is more fun than him saying something stupid almost every sentence?

whereas Plaschke's shenanigans are cruel and tragic. he's not smart enough to be pretentious. he just sucks entirely, and probably doesn't even know it seeing as how people apparently give him sportswriter awards and ****.

easy call here.

Interesting take.

I just call a spade a spade. Phil isn't stupid for laughs. He was just born that way. Part of me might feel a bit of empathy but then again he's a millionaire with two Super Bowl rings so **** him.

It's Plaschke. Just can't bring myself to hate on Sims when his partner in the booth is just as bad.

Also could very well have CTE prohibiting from things like learning or his brain evolving. Feel like that would earn some empathy as that's more lolfootball than anything. Also he def adds unintentional entertainment which is something Plaschke doesn't do. Simms is like a 6 year old, you hear him and you can't do anything but laugh at his never-ending stupidity. You read a Plaschke column and you just feel dirty, no one that moronic has any right to come off as arrogant and pretentious as him. Also, and FJM critiqued this way better than I did, he's a terrible terrible writer. And terrible in a way where you can tell he thinks he's writing Robert Frost level poetry, when in reality it's just sportswriter fan-fiction that happens to be printed on a newspaper.

Seriously, here is every FJM Plaschke take down, spend an hour and read it. You'll laugh, you'll cry, but mostly you'll just feel pissed off that someone so untalented and idiotic can have been so successful and have such an air of superiority.

At least Simms provides entertainment even if he is a total moron, whereas Plaschke is a homer blowhard pretentious *******.

I get the arguments against Plaschke, I think I'd still go with PHEEEEEL because he's so utterly unavoidable. Somebody that stupid shouldn't be calling every important AFC Playoff game and every third Super Bowl.


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Has to be Plaschke.

Simms is awful. Not only does he try to ruin regular football, he makes Madden commentary unlistenable. It's not a good look.

close one

Other ones are total blowouts. Kind of surprising.

You can say all this stuff about Plaschke but Simms is Simms. I don't find his shtick endearing or comical, it's atrocious. And, above all, unavoidable.

Man, that's a cruel thing to say about Jim Nantz. That poor bastard holds up pretty well when his only support is Phil Simms and Mike Carey.

This

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Yep.