Hi, I'm Bill Berg, Executive Vice President of Poster Safety and Omniscient Thread Overlord Operations. Recently, I've had the displeasure of reviewing some controversial and low-quality posting in the playoff threads; this trend has seemingly come to a head with the following plea for restraint and perhaps even supplementary discipline from one of our senior NHL Posters Association (NHLPA) representatives:
Quote:
Originally Posted by <3_Tha_Grind
rafiki,
please stop
signed,
everybody
In response, I've reviewed the evidence, taking into account context of the series and past posting history. And the results are less that favourable.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
** At 3:11 pm, on Friday, June 7th, the following post was made by poster
rafiki, in response to reasonable requests from senior forum leadership that he display appropriate levels of restraint with his future posting:
Quote:
Originally Posted by rafiki
You're really going to hate me in the finals
Wrong.
In the best interests of playoff posting, I've done my best to remain uninvolved and allow posting to continue uninhibited. But this type of blatant disregard for the overall quality and reputation of our product is unacceptable. To post terribly is one thing - many of you are the equivalent of no-skill career fourth line scrubs and couldn't help yourselves if you tried. But to take pride in posting terribly,
and blatantly alert everyone that you intend to continue posting terribly...well, my friends, that's an entirely different level of suck. And over here at Poster Safety HQ, located poolside at Glenn Anderson's residence, we don't take kindly to such threats.
To review the key points:
- Blatant, repeated and perhaps intentional low quality posting
- Multiple attempts at instigating confrontation
- Refusal to contribute like an adult
- MAJOR INFRACTION: premeditated objective of posting like a clown
I don't like throwing around steep punishment so late in the season, but unfortunately, there are times when you find yourself with no other choice. The maximum allowable fine without suspension is still only 5,000 Sklansky Bucks, which is a disproportionate pittance compared to the severity of the suck.
Thankfully, my IRL colleague has shown that there is room for creativity when handing out suspensions; rafiki's situation gives me an opportunity to introduce the latest innovation in SE poster discipline:
THE TORRES CLAUSE
It is my recommendation to 72off and any other SE mod reviewing this in-thread hearing that rafiki receives
THE SHANABAN™ for the remainder of the Eastern Conference Finals. This means his suspension will last a duration of 1-4 games, depending on the series outcome. For maximum lulz,
if a game 7 is forced, we would then review any appeals for leniency, if he so chooses to post during the 2013 Bruins tribute to the 2010 Bruins collapse.
Any repeat offending during the Stanley Cup Finals - which he has already unambiguously hinted at - will result in
THE SHANABAN™ for the duration of the playoffs and perhaps lasting until the beginning of free agency, at the discretion of the Poster Safety committee.
Don't test us again.
Thank you for your time, and enjoy tonight's game.