Many wondered if and when the NFL season would be brought back to us, to bring the yearly joy to those who the football Gods see fit, to bring back the league and sport that the great people of this nation love.

Many wondered what had come to our beloved upcoming season while billionaires bickered with millionaires, lawyers postured, the media spun, but finally an elite crew of NFL Beasters was formed to end the lockout, and to bring America back the game it loved.

This elite unit of foes was formed and trained under the guidance and recruitment of The Elders. A group of men who helped shape The Beast into what it is now, and of course the league followed these glorious coattails to the blinding success we know today in the NFL.

Elder Gibbs, the Statesman, known for his penchant for fast cars, looser women, and the scalps from his Redskin heritage. Elder Parcells, The Manipulator, known for his fiery personality, tits that of a bitch, and ability to get the best out of anyone from a coke addicted LB to a metrosexual QB. Elder Jimmy J, The Hair, known worldwide for his love of Heinekin, paying undergraduate athletes along with co-eds, and his hate for oilmen with plastic surgery. Finally, Elder Reid, The Fat Mormon, by far the youngest member of the elders but yet a 13 year Beast vet who is still on the inside, known throughout the league and the Philadelphia suburbs for his ability to mold a passing attack and drug dealers.

These Four Elders, in an unprecedented secret ops mission that made killing Osama look as simple as getting away with rape when you are an NFL QB, set out to save what was most important, The Beast, and the NFL in the process...

The Elders recruited a no nonsense, highly touted group of anonymous (for security reasons) QB1s given the task of saving our thread, and along with it the upcoming NFL season. QB1-1, The Pitbull, QB1-2, The PrettyBoy, QB1-3 The Brother, and QB1-4 The About to be Replaced. This motley crew of enemies came together in a time of need and set upon the NFL Owners and the NFLPA leadership and brought a resolution through the only means the Beast really knows, force...

There were casualties of this great war (RIP Myra Kraft), but now our league and its fans can heal. We can come together and celebrate the return of what is great, mostly football and especially NFC Beast football. So now let us come together, come together with the sole purpose of separating ourselves and discovering who is in fact the best of the best, let us divide, let us conquer....

LET US BEAST

First in epic Beast thread

Probably should have started the thread in September to give the other divisional threads a chance to keep up for at least the first month or two.

Giants cut Suebert and O'Hara today, and looks like they will cut Andrews as they could not come to a modified contract agreement.

I could see O'Hara coming back in a different deal, if he is healthy. Not really sure where this OL relief is going to come from, although it was just a matter of time with the cap back in play and many of the veterans breaking down in recent seasons.

Were they really getting paid that much? Seems like it will be impossible to upgrade their line. I'm not at all optimistic about this season, especially with Vick the GOAT in the division.

However with that said, the Giants are still slight favorites to go 16-0.

O'Hara had a nice deal for a center. Probably 4 million a year or something like that. He is 34 too and not particularly healthy atm.

Andrews was impressive last year, would have liked him back.

It seems like every offseason basically every team just cuts dudes that they can't upgrade. I'm sure there's an explanation for it but it really annoys me. They usually go on to play fine too. It's almost as weird as the trading the pretty good player for the 4th round pick move that we see a lot.

MikeGarafolo: Would imagine at this pt Giants are in mix for FA Cs Olin Kreutz + Chris Spencer. Talked to both agents; both gave no comments. Hmm. #nyg

That could be part of the reason. Although it seems it'll be tough to bring in a fairly decent priced center, along with keeping Bradshaw, Smith (one year contract looks likely), and possibly Kiwi. Plus sign all the draft picks considering they are over the cap now (lol cap and all, but it does make things tougher). Plus still need a LB upgrade.

Seems like a pivotal summer for the Giants.

Suebert and O'Hara were very good Giants for awhile though, sad to see them go if nothing can be worked out.

BEASTMODE

In on ground floor of suck

BEAST

It's not too early for an lolredskins and lolcowgirls yet imo.

Cowboys are going to be good imo

I'm having a hard time making a case for any NFC East team this year. NYG has a fair number of cap and contract problems. Cowboys are even worse and can't possibly address all their needs without hitting the lotto on some no-namers. Skins have some money but a lot of holes and no QB.

What do people think about Philly? I like that they're letting a lot of marginal guys walk and that they have a fair amount of good young talent + a reasonable-looking draft class. They're managing their payroll well and have $ to bring in some good talent, blah blah, etc. With the short offseason though it might be rough on them this year with all of those young guys, and Vick's an injury risk. They seem better positioned for 2012 than now?

1ST FREE MONEY ALERT OF THE YEAR