Quote:
Originally Posted by TheDean1
Dean, I really enjoy reading your pieces - I don't watch any college ball and they are very informative, an excellent entry point for helping to understand the draft prospects - or at least the ones in the USA. Obviously, some of your views will pan out better over time than others, but that's unavoidable and doesn't detract from their value.
The one I recently enjoyed the most was the previous one - your "mid-season big board"-thing. On this particular post: I don't have the knowledge to be able to judge your evaluation of DSJ, but your enthusiasm is good.
I also appreciate you want to have a lively/spontaneous/discursive style.
However - and
please take this as constructive comment rather than a snide put-down - you really can sharpen what you write with some editing to make the prose have less repetition, fewer cliches and more zap.
First sentence:
"Dennis Smith Jr.
is receiving hype as a possible top 3 pick in this year’s draft, and he recently
greased the wheels of his
hype train with a 32 point performance in a road win at Duke."
'hype' twice is bad, 'greasing the wheels .. train' .. meh-cliche (but you might convince me it's ok-ish, e.g., if there is something train-like about DSJ - yes, the train is the hype around him, but the phrase works better if he's train-like as well, otherwise it's just an isolated cliche, and you could probably refactor the sentence to exploit both if DSJ=train is true), and the overall effect is weak - apart from those stumbles, 'is receiving' is too passive.
I'm not going to bang on but you get the idea. The bball stuff is good, but I'm sure you are completely capable of combing through, rearranging, condensing & so on, and so making even better actual posts.