Ok, I am going to type and type and type and hope that I explain everything. Any questions can be posted in comments and I will respond.
First, I want to start by apologizing. My fear, lack of knowledge, and confusion made me do incredibly stupid things. I am not currently talking to the police at all and I have not been for many months. I am not seeking out libertarians and I never was targeting them as a collective entity. I can't turn back time, but if I could, I would have taken a different approach. You will find out more in the following paragraphs about the reasoning behind my actions.
I was arrested in late September 2011. A confidential informant named (Name Removed) was having me buy large quantities of MDMA and LSD in order to "sell on his own" and give to his friend, who was a police officer. I had no idea I was being framed. I started talking to the undercover cop without Tim, who was a rather intimidating looking fellow -- and he knew where I lived. He asked me to make purchases for him, and mainly because I wanted him out of my hair, I did, even making no profit whatsoever. One day, after purchasing LSD from a friend to give to the undercover officer, I was surrounded by 6 cops with guns and threats to go with it.
Scared out of my mind, I lead them up the stairs to my apartment with their warrant. They rip apart my house, steal all of my silver and my cash money, totaling $10,000+. They take my laptop computer that my now deceased grandfather bought for me for college in '07. Sentimental. They make my house look like a hurricane and then take me to their station.
From there I was processed, fingerprints, mug shots, the whole deal. They chain me up on a bench for hours and take me in for questioning. They ask me if I know any violent anarchists/libertarians because they saw I was politically active. They had a special psychologist talk to me regarding this. I said, no, we are all peaceful. They tell me that there is a deal for working for them that would help me get out of jail, especially for that night. I did not agree to work for them, I told them I would be talking to a lawyer. I pretended that it was a good deal so they would at least let me go that night, I said I would highly consider it, but I was not sure. They saw I was calm, decent, and a generally good person, or so it seemed, and they told the judge for my initial hearing to let me out on "release on my own recognition."
The police drove me home. I went to SLF that night as usual, frazzled from not eating all day and the events that happened. Tyler Frazier was the first person I told about this. I said I did not know what to do. Should I tell everyone? First, I decided, I would need to find a lawyer.
I looked on the Law Enforcement Against Prohibition website and found Alva and Associates in Philadelphia. I thought this man would be helpful, knowledgeable and informative about the Drug War. He told me that i had no case, that I was screwed. Entrapment was not an option, he said, although I felt my case was very much so an entrapment case because I was doings things that I normally wouldn't do.I decided to put down $2,500 for this lawyer. I ended up meeting with him that week to get some details on what I should do. I was pawned off to another lawyer in the firm, Brad Shuttleworth, who told me I was ****ed. "What the heck should I do then?" He asked me if the police offered me informant work, yes, they did. He told me, basically, to work for them. Don't tell anyone about this, he also said, not even a boyfriend. This is the only way you can get out of jail, if they like you and you work for them. Now it came down to the decision. Should I work for the police and try to stay out of jail? Would fighting it be worth anything at all? Would there be any chance of winning without being an informant? My lawyer seemed to be on the side that I should, 100% work for them. I thought about all the libertarians that went to jail and I thought about the arguments against it. Would my activism be better spent as a free woman?
Lots of questions circulated through my head. I figured if I was to do this, I wouldn't want to target my friends. Maybe drug dealers I didn't know would make it a little better. I really had no idea what I was doing, I figured I would make more decisions and come to more conclusions as I went.
I met with the police and signed up. They told me my identity would remain anonymous (found out that was a lie later down the road). I scoped out what they would want from me. Ok, they want someone who is worse than me. Someone who sells more drugs and more of a variety. I went home. ****. What could I do. I don't know many big time drug dealers. Only my friends. I am not comfortable with this. I thought and I thought. Wait. One "friend," John Jay, actually stole money from my friend, Mike Moceri, mainly through the marijuana trade. This guy. Maybe if I target him, I can save myself and also help Mike out. But, dur, Stacy, this is so wrong. I don't want to do this.
Met with the lawyer again, who told me to give the police all that I've got. That would mean Mike, too, that would mean other friends. I did not want to do that. I ended up arranging two buys with the room mate of (Name Removed), (Name Removed).
The police and the lawyer continuously told me not to tell anyone about this. No friends, no one. I had very little support from Tyler, who had his own problems to worry about and our relationship was basically over. I made a totally terrible decision. Like I said in the beginning, if I could turn back time, I would have sought the advice of more than one lawyer, who caught me desperate and took advantage of me.
I was very scared and stupidly arranged that Mike could deliver a package, a pound of weed, from Seattle to my house. I panicked last minute and told them about it, but this could not hurt Mike in the long run because there was no identification on it leading to him. They took the package and Mike was a total wreck after this, but he still didn't know about my arrest and everything.
About a week after those two buys, the police arrested three people, (Name Removed), (Name Removed), (Name Removed). They put the wrong name on the warrant and also included a lot of information about me that took away from my anonymous identity. I found out that they did not have to include that information and ****ed me over seemingly on purpose. They are total idiots at their job and they made a mockery out of the warrant. I stopped all communication and told my lawyer that they put my life in danger. Everyone knew my identity, I had threats coming in whisper down the alley form from Mike Moceri, mainly. Very scary time. My lawyer did not even call the police to tell them about this abuse of their power. When he did call them, the police told him, "She is lying, she knows more dealers, she isn't doing enough.' How, might I ask, can I do anything when you made my identity public anyway!?
My current boyfriend, Kenneth, has been helping me through a lot of this, along with Theresa, my friend. They were the only two that knew. Kenneth assisted me in finding another lawyer, one who has been working with me very diligently and has been helpful. Theresa has been there for support.
I did not want this to go public, I wanted to keep it amongst those affected directly, and that is it. I know this makes me untrusted, possibly, and I apologize for my stupid actions. I should have been stronger, but I felt weak and that I was certainly going to jail unless I listened to my lawyer and the police. I am still a libertarian, still anti-government, and this has been my breaking point. I feel like I have survived an attack on my morals and my life as a whole. I now want to live and keep fighting. I understand that some of you would have taken a different path in my shoes. I think that putting yourself in my shoes, however, may be the best way of understanding my decision. And again, I am terribly sorry, I live with the guilt everyday and it eats away at me all the time.
I hope that this is also a learning experience. The state can be anywhere at anytime. Be safe. I fell for it on two counts, as victim and becoming it. I do not want to hurt anyone else, I only hope you can learn from my actions.
My personal friends deserted me and the ostracism has already occurred -- along with members of my personal friend group deciding that they would be in control of my own fate instead of simply leaving me to my own misery. The Drug War destroys communities. It doesn't accept apologies. It turns people into the state, from me, to my friends, to even those of you out there who are so easily swayed by the abridged story Mike Moceri posted. I do not want to be thrown out of the movement, I understand if some will want to condemn me, but I hope many will read this and accept my apologies. They had guns to my head, but that is no excuse, just my nativity and lack of knowledge. I wish I had sought better resources, but I felt as if I was getting the best help out there.
My first court date, the preliminary, is this Thursday in Montgomery County. I will keep you updated on what happens. If you want to be there for support, thank you, I haven't had much for the past 8 months. Again, I thank Kenneth and Theresa for sticking by me, dealing with this mess, and understanding me. It is sad that it took a catastrophe like this to show who my real friends are, but so it goes.
Again, I will say that I am truly sorry. If you still do not understand my side and are convinced that you are anti-Stacy for life, I would appreciate that you didn't slander me publicly. Until you transform into me and can see everything through my eyes, I do not think you have room to judge so harshly. As libertarians, I know that we are generally truth seekers and are non-violent, understanding people. Please inquire from me and learn from my mistakes. I am a wealth of knowledge on the procedures that the police go through regarding the drug war and may be of assistance to help in anyway that I can. This is another reason why I didn't want to go to jail, I wanted to use this knowledge to help others. Hard to help from a cage. Sadly it took doing a drug bust/informant work to get here, however, it was a terrible trade off.
There is a little more detail and some other stuff up here:
http://drugwarvictim.blogspot.com/
I will probably be updating it more as this continues.
I am punished, whether you believe it or not. I suffer everyday. My life is still under their control and I could still go to jail. Please do not become the state and hurt me further, if that is all I can ask of you. Again, please ask any questions below, I hope I covered mostly everything.
Stacy
Also:
Many of the people involved directly with this (not the onlookers, readers) have statements to make about the story, my intentions, and personal debacles. As soon as I get a list of questions/statements that need addressing in a civil fashion, I will post the responses on here, if they are relevant to the story. I am going to stop replying to statements like, "You're not a true libertarian, you suck." Real issues, not that. For now, I can say when I get more than five minutes on the computer, I will write up more detail on the pound of marijuana confiscated/Moceri and Tyler Frazier's involvement, since it seems like my character regarding these two situations is being questioned the most. For those personally affected, I would hope we could move on from this, we all have our own lives to worry about, and again, I apologize deeply, I just wish we did not have to dwell on the past and could find solutions for the future.
Two Plus Two
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