~ PLO and Life ~ The art of balance ~
08-30-2011
, 05:31 AM
We’ve all been there. The empty stare, the desperate hope that the cashier balance is not as bad as you think it is….ah, the PLO variance. The ultimate soul crusher. Often times you see a brutal graph posted on BBV and usually the regs just comment with one word; “standard”. And you probably feel like they are playing with you, making jokes, not taking you seriously.
You know what? It is standard.
Is your mind ready for PLO? Most likely not. I know mine wasn’t when I popped my PLO variance cherry. I felt like someone had pulled my guts out, spat on them and jumped all over them. Yet in a weird way I felt relieved after my worst nightmare had come true. I realized that it’s only poker. But I love poker, it’s a big part of my life so I need to learn to handle that aspect of the game, the unknown….variance. My mind is still not ready for PLO. It’s a long-ass process.
This thread is meant for discussion about the balance between the inner you and PLO. Most of us have already experienced the highs and lows of variance…running like god on a super heater or being crushed with a sledgehammer. That’s what also keeps the games so good, because even the worst players will have their share of the positive variance at some point. It’s also what separates the average players from the good ones. The technical skills might be equal, but who is better prepared to mentally handle the game, will come out on top.
The mental preparation starts long before you hit the tables. My personal goal is to reach peace of mind. Will I ever reach that? Probably not, I don’t think it even can be reached. But as long as I live in the moment, I feel free from burdens of the past and the worries of the future. That’s what should be brought to the poker table as well. Focusing on each decision at a time, it’s completely irrelevant how the earlier hands played out, whether you won or lost it. You should use your reads on a certain player on your decision making, but that’s it. Whether you are up 10bi or down 12bi should not affect your decision making on a particular hand or street. There’s always an optimal way to play the street where you are caught up now. Can you fold when you know you are beat? Does that shove really make sense?
I believe that finding the inner peace to make better decisions at poker tables comes from deep within, from our habits and our mental state. The fact is that you are not entitled to anything at poker. You lost a 60-40 all-in? You can’t win it all the time; you will win 60% of the time. You better accept it or you won’t make it far.
There are many wonderful inspirational quotes, tales and stories that will prepare us to face the adversities a little bit better everyday. I encourage you to discuss your relationship between life and poker, how do you deal with the negative and positive swings of the game? If you feel like there’s an inspirational story that can help all of us, post it here.
I don’t want this stuff to get lost in the LC threads, because it’s really far from low content, right up there with technical skills. It’s my wish that we keep the posts in this thread respectful and hopefully any reply will be longer than one word or a sentence. Share your story and thoughts of the balance between life and poker with an open mind.
There are many topics to discuss, from the obvious "how to handle downswings" to less obvious things like the fact that downswings are actually things that only happen in our heads and we try to find patterns in graphs, when there are no real patterns. (Obvious solution is not to look at the cashier and "swings" won't even exist as we know them)
I’ll end the OP with a quote that caught quite a bit of attention when I first posted it, since it carries deep meaning to it. To relate to poker, I believe it would be to play your hand and move on to the next one. Don't carry vengeance at tables towards anyone, it only clouds your judgement.
Two monks, Tanzan and Ekido were walking along a country road that had become extremely muddy after heavy rains. Near a village, they came upon a young woman who was trying to cross the road, but the mud was so deep it would have ruined the silk kimono she was wearing. Tanzan at once picked her up and carried her to the other side.
The monks walked in silence. Five hours later, as they were approaching the lodging temple, Ekido couldn't restain himself any longer. "Why did you carry that girl across the road?" he asked. "We monksare not supposed to do things like that."
"I put the girl down hours ago," said Tanzan. "Are you still carrying her?"
Additionally, I will quote the posts I've made in the LC threads over the past few months, since they too have proven to be popular:
GL and don't let this happen 
You know what? It is standard.
Is your mind ready for PLO? Most likely not. I know mine wasn’t when I popped my PLO variance cherry. I felt like someone had pulled my guts out, spat on them and jumped all over them. Yet in a weird way I felt relieved after my worst nightmare had come true. I realized that it’s only poker. But I love poker, it’s a big part of my life so I need to learn to handle that aspect of the game, the unknown….variance. My mind is still not ready for PLO. It’s a long-ass process.
This thread is meant for discussion about the balance between the inner you and PLO. Most of us have already experienced the highs and lows of variance…running like god on a super heater or being crushed with a sledgehammer. That’s what also keeps the games so good, because even the worst players will have their share of the positive variance at some point. It’s also what separates the average players from the good ones. The technical skills might be equal, but who is better prepared to mentally handle the game, will come out on top.
The mental preparation starts long before you hit the tables. My personal goal is to reach peace of mind. Will I ever reach that? Probably not, I don’t think it even can be reached. But as long as I live in the moment, I feel free from burdens of the past and the worries of the future. That’s what should be brought to the poker table as well. Focusing on each decision at a time, it’s completely irrelevant how the earlier hands played out, whether you won or lost it. You should use your reads on a certain player on your decision making, but that’s it. Whether you are up 10bi or down 12bi should not affect your decision making on a particular hand or street. There’s always an optimal way to play the street where you are caught up now. Can you fold when you know you are beat? Does that shove really make sense?
I believe that finding the inner peace to make better decisions at poker tables comes from deep within, from our habits and our mental state. The fact is that you are not entitled to anything at poker. You lost a 60-40 all-in? You can’t win it all the time; you will win 60% of the time. You better accept it or you won’t make it far.
There are many wonderful inspirational quotes, tales and stories that will prepare us to face the adversities a little bit better everyday. I encourage you to discuss your relationship between life and poker, how do you deal with the negative and positive swings of the game? If you feel like there’s an inspirational story that can help all of us, post it here.
I don’t want this stuff to get lost in the LC threads, because it’s really far from low content, right up there with technical skills. It’s my wish that we keep the posts in this thread respectful and hopefully any reply will be longer than one word or a sentence. Share your story and thoughts of the balance between life and poker with an open mind.
There are many topics to discuss, from the obvious "how to handle downswings" to less obvious things like the fact that downswings are actually things that only happen in our heads and we try to find patterns in graphs, when there are no real patterns. (Obvious solution is not to look at the cashier and "swings" won't even exist as we know them)
I’ll end the OP with a quote that caught quite a bit of attention when I first posted it, since it carries deep meaning to it. To relate to poker, I believe it would be to play your hand and move on to the next one. Don't carry vengeance at tables towards anyone, it only clouds your judgement.
Two monks, Tanzan and Ekido were walking along a country road that had become extremely muddy after heavy rains. Near a village, they came upon a young woman who was trying to cross the road, but the mud was so deep it would have ruined the silk kimono she was wearing. Tanzan at once picked her up and carried her to the other side.
The monks walked in silence. Five hours later, as they were approaching the lodging temple, Ekido couldn't restain himself any longer. "Why did you carry that girl across the road?" he asked. "We monksare not supposed to do things like that."
"I put the girl down hours ago," said Tanzan. "Are you still carrying her?"
Additionally, I will quote the posts I've made in the LC threads over the past few months, since they too have proven to be popular:
Quote:
Surround Yourself with Passionate People
Post written by Leo Babauta.
Last night I had an amazing dinner with my wife Eva and my friends Scott and Jesse and their wives Chelsea and Joanna.
The gathering itself was simple: six people, simple healthy food, a little wine, a little tea, nothing else. Except that we lost ourselves in conversation so deeply that before we knew it, it was 1:30 a.m. and I was shocked at how quickly the time had passed.
The secret is also simple: when you talk with people who are passionate about what they’re doing, passionate about life and the people they love, it is transformative.
The people I talked with last night are incredibly passionate about what they’re doing. And yes, Brett, I mean passionate: excited, fired-up, feeling-strongly-about, thinking-about-it-all-the-time, can’t-wait-to-do-it-when-you-wake-up passion. When you talk with people who are passionate like that, you can’t help but get fired up yourself. You want to go out and do something exciting.
Passionate people not only inspire you, they give you ideas. They read books by other people who are passionate and full of ideas, and they recommend the books to you or pass the ideas on to you. Scott and Jesse, for example, are constantly meeting other passionate people, and that inspires them … and in turn that inspires me. It’s fuel for an intense fire.
A nice side benefit is Scott & Chelsea and Jesse & Joanna are some of the most health-conscious people I know — the dinner was extremely healthy and delicious, and I went away even more inspired to get fit and live a healthy life. I love people like that.
I’ve met a lot of passionate, smart, inspired people since moving to San Francisco — people like Tim Ferriss and Matt Mullenweg and Tynan and Corbett Barr and Oleg and Barron and more. It’s incredible to talk with people like that, and you can’t walk away from them without getting a bit revved up.
While I try to lead a life of minimalism, I’ve learned that minimalism can be done anywhere you go … and it doesn’t require that you move to a farm or give up your contact with people. Just the opposite: minimalism is about giving up consumption in favor of doing things you’re passionate about and having real relationships with a few people you really value. I’d much rather have a conversation with someone doing something amazing than go shopping.
You don’t have to live in a big city like New York or San Francisco to surround yourself with passionate people. They’re in small towns, but it might take a bit of looking to find them. Find small businesses who are doing amazing things, and talk with the people there. Look for startups, for artists and writers, for people who are obsessed with doing something really well.
If you can’t find them where you live, find them online. They’re everywhere if you look. Read books by people full of powerful ideas who are doing innovative things. Read their blogs, talk to them via email and Twitter. Start collaborating with people like that.
Be one of them, and inspire others.
Post written by Leo Babauta.
Last night I had an amazing dinner with my wife Eva and my friends Scott and Jesse and their wives Chelsea and Joanna.
The gathering itself was simple: six people, simple healthy food, a little wine, a little tea, nothing else. Except that we lost ourselves in conversation so deeply that before we knew it, it was 1:30 a.m. and I was shocked at how quickly the time had passed.
The secret is also simple: when you talk with people who are passionate about what they’re doing, passionate about life and the people they love, it is transformative.
The people I talked with last night are incredibly passionate about what they’re doing. And yes, Brett, I mean passionate: excited, fired-up, feeling-strongly-about, thinking-about-it-all-the-time, can’t-wait-to-do-it-when-you-wake-up passion. When you talk with people who are passionate like that, you can’t help but get fired up yourself. You want to go out and do something exciting.
Passionate people not only inspire you, they give you ideas. They read books by other people who are passionate and full of ideas, and they recommend the books to you or pass the ideas on to you. Scott and Jesse, for example, are constantly meeting other passionate people, and that inspires them … and in turn that inspires me. It’s fuel for an intense fire.
A nice side benefit is Scott & Chelsea and Jesse & Joanna are some of the most health-conscious people I know — the dinner was extremely healthy and delicious, and I went away even more inspired to get fit and live a healthy life. I love people like that.
I’ve met a lot of passionate, smart, inspired people since moving to San Francisco — people like Tim Ferriss and Matt Mullenweg and Tynan and Corbett Barr and Oleg and Barron and more. It’s incredible to talk with people like that, and you can’t walk away from them without getting a bit revved up.
While I try to lead a life of minimalism, I’ve learned that minimalism can be done anywhere you go … and it doesn’t require that you move to a farm or give up your contact with people. Just the opposite: minimalism is about giving up consumption in favor of doing things you’re passionate about and having real relationships with a few people you really value. I’d much rather have a conversation with someone doing something amazing than go shopping.
You don’t have to live in a big city like New York or San Francisco to surround yourself with passionate people. They’re in small towns, but it might take a bit of looking to find them. Find small businesses who are doing amazing things, and talk with the people there. Look for startups, for artists and writers, for people who are obsessed with doing something really well.
If you can’t find them where you live, find them online. They’re everywhere if you look. Read books by people full of powerful ideas who are doing innovative things. Read their blogs, talk to them via email and Twitter. Start collaborating with people like that.
Be one of them, and inspire others.
Quote:
Decluttering as Zen Meditation
Post written by Leo Babauta.
Decluttering your home or workspace can often seem overwhelming, but in truth it can be as peaceful as meditation, and can be a way to practice living mindfully and in the moment.
Decluttering can be your zazen, as it is often mine.
Recently I was honored with the chance to speak to a class at the San Francisco Zen Center, with the wonderful Zen priest Susan O’Connell (one of my favorite people in the world, and my favorite movie star friend). I talked with the Zen students about decluttering, and a couple things stood out for me as I talked:
1. Clutter is a manifestation of a) holding onto the past and b) fear of what might happen in the future.
2. Letting go of clutter is a way to live more mindfully and in the present.
3. The act of decluttering itself can be a mindfulness practice.
Let’s talk about each of those things briefly.
Clutter is holding onto the past, or fear of the future
Why do we have clutter in the first place? Why do we keep it when we don’t really need it? Maybe we think we do need it — for two reasons:
1. We don’t want to let go of the past. Often clutter comes in the form of emotional attachment to objects that have significance to us. They might remind us of a loved one, or a vacation, or a special event like a birthday, funeral, graduation, etc. It might be a gift from someone. All of this is living in the past. I’m not saying we should forget about the past, but letting go of these objects (and they’re only objects, they’re not the events or loved ones themselves) … it is a way of releasing our hold on the past. It’s a way of living more in the present. I never forget the past, but it’s not a place I try to dwell.
2. We’re afraid of the future. Clutter might be things we think we might need sometime in the future. We hold on to them just in case. Over-packing for a trip is a good example — we bring more than we really need, just in case we need them. It’s the same in our houses — we have a ton of things we don’t really need or use, just in case. We’re afraid of being unprepared for the future, but the truth is we can never be totally prepared. We can’t control the outcome of the future, and trying to do so means that we’re never really living in the present moment. We’re always preparing for what might (or might not) come.
Look at your clutter carefully, one object at a time, and ask yourself why you’re holding onto each object. It’s probably for one of these two reasons, if you’re honest.
Btw, books are usually examples of one of these two reasons. We hold onto books we’ve already read, as trophies of our reading accomplishments. We hold onto books we might read in the future (but probably won’t), with the optimism that our future selves are going to be more amazing readers than we’ve ever been in the past. In truth, you only need three or four books — the ones you might read in the next month. Then after you’ve read those, donate those books to charity, and check out a few books from the library.
Let go of clutter to live mindfully
So if clutter is holding onto the past, and fearing the future … how can we live in the present instead?
I slowly get rid of clutter, and in doing so, I release my mind of these attachments and fears. It’s a liberating process. Clutter is the physical embodiment of these attachments and fears — emotional stuff that we don’t realize we have. By decluttering, we are clearing ourselves of these tangled webs.
And when I’ve gotten rid of clutter, I’m freed. I can forget about those things, and live instead in this moment. I can fully appreciate life as it happens, instead of looking back on what has happened before, or looking forward to what might happen later.
It’s of course possible to live in the moment even if you have clutter. There is no prerequisite to mindful living. But decluttering can be a beautiful process of helping ourselves let go of the things we don’t realize we’re holding on to.
Clutter as mindfulness practice
And so, as I declutter, not only am I freeing myself up to live in the present … I am living in the present during the process of decluttering.
It’s a form of zazen — which is sitting meditation, but at its core zazen is really a way to practice being mindful. It’s a way to prepare us for dealing mindfully with the rest of the things we do in life. And really, anything can be used as a way to practice mindfulness. I’ve often used running and walking, but also washing dishes and sweeping.
And decluttering is one of the best mindfulness practices, in my experience. Here’s how I do it:
1. Pick one cluttered flat surface. It can be a tabletop, countertop, shelf, the top of a dresser, floor of a closet, floor of a room (just a section of that floor to start with). Don’t worry about all the rest of your cluttered spaces for now — just pick this one space. Small is good.
2. Clear that surface. Take everything off and pile it on the floor or another table. Clean the surface while it’s clear — wipe it with a cloth, slowly and mindfully.
3. Take one object from the pile. Forget about the entire pile — just look at that one object. Ask yourself why you have it. Is it for emotional reasons, or do you really use it? Is it for “just in case”? When was the last time you used it? If you don’t really need or use it, put it in a box for donation or trash it. If you do really use it, put it in another pile to be put back on your now-clean surface. If you’re on the fence and can’t bear to give something up, put it in a “maybe” box and put that box away for six months (mark the date on your calendar).
4. Repeat, one object at a time. Practice doing this mindfully. Make a decision with each object — keep, donate, or maybe box. No waffling or putting off decisions. Deal with each object once, then move on.
5. Put the objects back, and make a “home” for each one. Each object needs to have a spot that is its home, and you should always put those objects back in their homes. If you can’t find a home for an object, you don’t have space for it. Donate the items in the donation box, and put away the maybe box. Eventually you won’t need a maybe box as you get good at this.
Learn to focus on one thing at a time, mindfully, and deal with each object once. This is a good practice for doing things in the rest of your life.
Post written by Leo Babauta.
Decluttering your home or workspace can often seem overwhelming, but in truth it can be as peaceful as meditation, and can be a way to practice living mindfully and in the moment.
Decluttering can be your zazen, as it is often mine.
Recently I was honored with the chance to speak to a class at the San Francisco Zen Center, with the wonderful Zen priest Susan O’Connell (one of my favorite people in the world, and my favorite movie star friend). I talked with the Zen students about decluttering, and a couple things stood out for me as I talked:
1. Clutter is a manifestation of a) holding onto the past and b) fear of what might happen in the future.
2. Letting go of clutter is a way to live more mindfully and in the present.
3. The act of decluttering itself can be a mindfulness practice.
Let’s talk about each of those things briefly.
Clutter is holding onto the past, or fear of the future
Why do we have clutter in the first place? Why do we keep it when we don’t really need it? Maybe we think we do need it — for two reasons:
1. We don’t want to let go of the past. Often clutter comes in the form of emotional attachment to objects that have significance to us. They might remind us of a loved one, or a vacation, or a special event like a birthday, funeral, graduation, etc. It might be a gift from someone. All of this is living in the past. I’m not saying we should forget about the past, but letting go of these objects (and they’re only objects, they’re not the events or loved ones themselves) … it is a way of releasing our hold on the past. It’s a way of living more in the present. I never forget the past, but it’s not a place I try to dwell.
2. We’re afraid of the future. Clutter might be things we think we might need sometime in the future. We hold on to them just in case. Over-packing for a trip is a good example — we bring more than we really need, just in case we need them. It’s the same in our houses — we have a ton of things we don’t really need or use, just in case. We’re afraid of being unprepared for the future, but the truth is we can never be totally prepared. We can’t control the outcome of the future, and trying to do so means that we’re never really living in the present moment. We’re always preparing for what might (or might not) come.
Look at your clutter carefully, one object at a time, and ask yourself why you’re holding onto each object. It’s probably for one of these two reasons, if you’re honest.
Btw, books are usually examples of one of these two reasons. We hold onto books we’ve already read, as trophies of our reading accomplishments. We hold onto books we might read in the future (but probably won’t), with the optimism that our future selves are going to be more amazing readers than we’ve ever been in the past. In truth, you only need three or four books — the ones you might read in the next month. Then after you’ve read those, donate those books to charity, and check out a few books from the library.
Let go of clutter to live mindfully
So if clutter is holding onto the past, and fearing the future … how can we live in the present instead?
I slowly get rid of clutter, and in doing so, I release my mind of these attachments and fears. It’s a liberating process. Clutter is the physical embodiment of these attachments and fears — emotional stuff that we don’t realize we have. By decluttering, we are clearing ourselves of these tangled webs.
And when I’ve gotten rid of clutter, I’m freed. I can forget about those things, and live instead in this moment. I can fully appreciate life as it happens, instead of looking back on what has happened before, or looking forward to what might happen later.
It’s of course possible to live in the moment even if you have clutter. There is no prerequisite to mindful living. But decluttering can be a beautiful process of helping ourselves let go of the things we don’t realize we’re holding on to.
Clutter as mindfulness practice
And so, as I declutter, not only am I freeing myself up to live in the present … I am living in the present during the process of decluttering.
It’s a form of zazen — which is sitting meditation, but at its core zazen is really a way to practice being mindful. It’s a way to prepare us for dealing mindfully with the rest of the things we do in life. And really, anything can be used as a way to practice mindfulness. I’ve often used running and walking, but also washing dishes and sweeping.
And decluttering is one of the best mindfulness practices, in my experience. Here’s how I do it:
1. Pick one cluttered flat surface. It can be a tabletop, countertop, shelf, the top of a dresser, floor of a closet, floor of a room (just a section of that floor to start with). Don’t worry about all the rest of your cluttered spaces for now — just pick this one space. Small is good.
2. Clear that surface. Take everything off and pile it on the floor or another table. Clean the surface while it’s clear — wipe it with a cloth, slowly and mindfully.
3. Take one object from the pile. Forget about the entire pile — just look at that one object. Ask yourself why you have it. Is it for emotional reasons, or do you really use it? Is it for “just in case”? When was the last time you used it? If you don’t really need or use it, put it in a box for donation or trash it. If you do really use it, put it in another pile to be put back on your now-clean surface. If you’re on the fence and can’t bear to give something up, put it in a “maybe” box and put that box away for six months (mark the date on your calendar).
4. Repeat, one object at a time. Practice doing this mindfully. Make a decision with each object — keep, donate, or maybe box. No waffling or putting off decisions. Deal with each object once, then move on.
5. Put the objects back, and make a “home” for each one. Each object needs to have a spot that is its home, and you should always put those objects back in their homes. If you can’t find a home for an object, you don’t have space for it. Donate the items in the donation box, and put away the maybe box. Eventually you won’t need a maybe box as you get good at this.
Learn to focus on one thing at a time, mindfully, and deal with each object once. This is a good practice for doing things in the rest of your life.
Quote:
The Illusion of Control
‘The Master allows things to happen.
She shapes events as they come.
She steps out of the way
and lets the Tao speak for itself.’
~Laozi
Post written by Leo Babauta.
When you think you control something, you’re wrong.
It’s amazing how often we think we’re in control of something when really we aren’t.
Control is an illusion, as I’ve said many times before.
We constantly make plans that never actually turn out the way we envisioned. ‘If you want to make God laugh, make a plan,’ an old saying goes.
We have been trained to set goals, and then work on the actions that lead to those goals … and yet how often do those goals fail? How often are we trying to control a future that we cannot predict?
Did you know five years ago that the world would turn out as it has — that Obama would be president, that the stock markets would have crashed, that we’d be deep into a recession, that earthquakes and tsunamis would hit, that you’d be doing exactly what you’re doing today?
Of course not. We don’t know the future, much less control it. We like to think we do, but that never turns out to be true.
And yet we continue to believe in the illusion of control. We face a chaotic and complex world, and seek to control it however we can.
Our attempts to control the world can be seen through:
* Trying to control how our children turn out, as if we can shape them like blocks of clay, as if humans aren’t more complex than we can possibly understand.
* Tracking every little thing, from spending to exercise to what we eat to what tasks we do to how many visitors are on our site to how many steps we’ve taken today and how many miles we’ve run. As if our selective tracking can possibly include the many, complex factors that influence outcomes.
* Trying to control employees — again, complex human beings with many motivations and whims and habits that we don’t understand.
* Obsessively planning projects, trips, days, parties, as if the outcomes of events are things we can control with our powers of manipulation of the world.
If we can let go of this illusion, what are we left with? How can we live among this chaos?
Consider the fish. A fish swims in a chaotic sea that it cannot possibly control — much as we all do. The fish, unlike us, is under no illusion that it controls the sea, or other fish in the sea. The fish doesn’t even try to control where it ends up — it just swims, either going with the flow or dealing with the flow as it comes. It eats, and hides, and mates, but does not try to control a thing.
We are no better than that fish, yet our thinking creates the need for an illusion.
Let go of that thinking. Learn to be the fish.
When we are in the midst of chaos, let go of the need to control it. Be awash in it, experience it in that moment, try not to control the outcome but deal with the flow as it comes.
How do we live our lives like this? It’s a completely different way of living, once we let go of the illusion:
* We stop setting goals, and instead do what excites us.
* We stop planning, and just do.
* We stop looking at the future, and live in the moment.
* We stop trying to control others, and focus instead on being kind to them.
* We learn that trusting our values is more important to taking action than desiring and striving for certain outcomes.
* We take each step lightly, with balance, in the moment, guided by those values and what we’re passionate about … rather than trying to plan the next 1,000 steps and where we’ll end up.
* We learn to accept the world as it is, rather than being annoyed with it, stressed by it, mad at it, despaired by it, or trying to change it into what we want it to be.
* We are never disappointed with how things turn out, because we never expected anything — we just accept what comes.
This might seem like a passive way of living to some, and it’s against our aggressive, productive, goal-oriented cultural nature. If you can’t accept this way of living, that’s OK — many people live their lives with the illusion of control, and not realizing what it is that makes them unhappy or frustrated isn’t the worst thing ever.
But if you can learn to live this way … it’s the most freeing thing in the world.
‘The Master allows things to happen.
She shapes events as they come.
She steps out of the way
and lets the Tao speak for itself.’
~Laozi
Post written by Leo Babauta.
When you think you control something, you’re wrong.
It’s amazing how often we think we’re in control of something when really we aren’t.
Control is an illusion, as I’ve said many times before.
We constantly make plans that never actually turn out the way we envisioned. ‘If you want to make God laugh, make a plan,’ an old saying goes.
We have been trained to set goals, and then work on the actions that lead to those goals … and yet how often do those goals fail? How often are we trying to control a future that we cannot predict?
Did you know five years ago that the world would turn out as it has — that Obama would be president, that the stock markets would have crashed, that we’d be deep into a recession, that earthquakes and tsunamis would hit, that you’d be doing exactly what you’re doing today?
Of course not. We don’t know the future, much less control it. We like to think we do, but that never turns out to be true.
And yet we continue to believe in the illusion of control. We face a chaotic and complex world, and seek to control it however we can.
Our attempts to control the world can be seen through:
* Trying to control how our children turn out, as if we can shape them like blocks of clay, as if humans aren’t more complex than we can possibly understand.
* Tracking every little thing, from spending to exercise to what we eat to what tasks we do to how many visitors are on our site to how many steps we’ve taken today and how many miles we’ve run. As if our selective tracking can possibly include the many, complex factors that influence outcomes.
* Trying to control employees — again, complex human beings with many motivations and whims and habits that we don’t understand.
* Obsessively planning projects, trips, days, parties, as if the outcomes of events are things we can control with our powers of manipulation of the world.
If we can let go of this illusion, what are we left with? How can we live among this chaos?
Consider the fish. A fish swims in a chaotic sea that it cannot possibly control — much as we all do. The fish, unlike us, is under no illusion that it controls the sea, or other fish in the sea. The fish doesn’t even try to control where it ends up — it just swims, either going with the flow or dealing with the flow as it comes. It eats, and hides, and mates, but does not try to control a thing.
We are no better than that fish, yet our thinking creates the need for an illusion.
Let go of that thinking. Learn to be the fish.
When we are in the midst of chaos, let go of the need to control it. Be awash in it, experience it in that moment, try not to control the outcome but deal with the flow as it comes.
How do we live our lives like this? It’s a completely different way of living, once we let go of the illusion:
* We stop setting goals, and instead do what excites us.
* We stop planning, and just do.
* We stop looking at the future, and live in the moment.
* We stop trying to control others, and focus instead on being kind to them.
* We learn that trusting our values is more important to taking action than desiring and striving for certain outcomes.
* We take each step lightly, with balance, in the moment, guided by those values and what we’re passionate about … rather than trying to plan the next 1,000 steps and where we’ll end up.
* We learn to accept the world as it is, rather than being annoyed with it, stressed by it, mad at it, despaired by it, or trying to change it into what we want it to be.
* We are never disappointed with how things turn out, because we never expected anything — we just accept what comes.
This might seem like a passive way of living to some, and it’s against our aggressive, productive, goal-oriented cultural nature. If you can’t accept this way of living, that’s OK — many people live their lives with the illusion of control, and not realizing what it is that makes them unhappy or frustrated isn’t the worst thing ever.
But if you can learn to live this way … it’s the most freeing thing in the world.
Quote:
Simple Daily Habits to Ignite Your Passion
“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.”- Hardy D. Jackson
Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Scott Dinsmore of LiveYourLegend
For the past 8 years I’ve run experiments on myself and others to better understand what makes us come alive.
This has taken me on ultra-marathons, to the tops of mountains, the bowels of bookstores, around the world and in front of some pretty fascinating people on some very deep soul searching. Finding passion and helping folks do work that embodies it has become a bit of an obsession of mine and has turned up some interesting results.
It turns out passion is not as elusive as we think. Just like daily exercise leads to a more fit and healthy body, there are habits that lead to fire in your belly. If we are to cultivate such a lifestyle we must act accordingly.
1. Surround yourself with passionate people. This is the foundation. Most people don’t believe you can do work you love because they’re constantly around people who hate their jobs and don’t know what excites them. This has to change. Those around you have everything to do with your success and your belief of what’s possible. You’ll either rise up or sink down depending on who’s next to you.
Passion is contagious. You must have an environment that embodies it. You need a support crew who believes what you believe. People who dream as big as you or bigger. Not only will they give you ideas but they’ll condition the belief that doing what you love is the norm. They fuel our passion and make the unthinkable possible, even normal. You’ll begin to expect the same of yourself.
It’s crucial to get this right. It’s why Leo and I get out on barefoot runs in San Francisco every week or so and why I’m on a quest to document 1,000 people across the world living their dreams. We all need encouragement.
Look around you. Do the people you see inspire and motivate you? Are they doing epic things? Do they love their work? Learn how to make genuine connections with new people doing interesting things. Check Craig’s List, MeetUp, coffee shop bulletin boards, Chamber of Commerce, Twitter, Facebook or LinkedIn. Find people in your own town and online. Befriend them. Make them a part of your life. Get out on adventures together. Schedule a weekly dinner or drinks just to talk about what’s exciting. Environment is everything.
2. Create space. If you don’t give big ideas room, they’ll never show up. Purpose and passion are no different. Lack of space creates pressure – the ultimate killer of creativity. And nothing requires more creative juices than passion. Start small with five minutes each morning. Schedule downtime. Start walking to work instead of taking the bus. Don’t multitask. Get out in nature. Just be, let things flow and see what comes up. Give yourself permission to dream. Passion thrives in emptiness.
3. Help someone in a way only you can. We all have natural strengths and talents that can dramatically help those around us. What comes easy for you is no doubt challenging for others. We tend to take these for granted, often hardly noticing our own gifts, and rarely share them with others. Passion comes from using those on a routine basis. Ask yourself, What do people thank you for? What do people routinely ask for your help with? Most people’s passions help others in one way or another. Perhaps for you it’s knitting, teaching children math, cooking a good meal or leading a yoga class. Devote time each day to sharing your talents.
4. Keep a journal of what inspires and excites you. Let your thoughts run wild. Most importantly, keep a running list of what inspires you. Books, magazines, movies, people, products, music, stories, careers, everything. Most people have a brush with passion almost daily, unfortunately we’re often too busy thinking of our 97-item todo list to take in the education. Anytime something catches your eye or excites you, open up your journal and get it onto paper. Over the years you will have a running story of how you might enjoy spending your time.
5. Challenge the norm. Ask questions. Don’t take things as gospel just because that’s how they’ve always been done. Don’t aimlessly listen to those around you. Question everything you’ve been doing and are about to do, especially if you don’t enjoy it. Is it really what you want? Is it in line with who you are? Perhaps there’s a better way. There often is.
6. Scare yourself – Live outside your comfort zone. Passionate people thrive off uncertainty. If you aren’t doing things that give you a few goose bumps you’re either not learning, dying or bored out of your mind. None of which are good. Do something at least mildly uncomfortable daily. This could be as small as making a phone call or sharing your art with someone. Be vulnerable. There’s a pretty direct correlation between pushing limits and epic living.
7. Find the right reasons. If a passionate person gets fired, they brush it off and get excited about the opportunity the lost job must be presenting. You can’t control what happens but you can control your reaction to it. What challenges have come up today? How could you reframe them? The juiciest possibilities often have the best disguises. Notice them.
8. Learn something new. Become obsessed with learning everything you can find – new skills, approaches, ideas, you name it. If it interests you then it’s important enough to get in your brain. We have to fuel what excites us. Grab a magazine or book that interests you and read a few pages on the way to work or before bed. Passionate people almost always have a book within reach. Ideas can be found anywhere. Start looking. Be a sponge.
9. Start at blog. Surprise, surprise, right? But blogs are much more powerful than most realize. They’re a simple way to explore and share the thoughts and beliefs you’re excited about and for people to immediately see and provide feedback. Don’t worry about whether you’ll make money from it or who will read it. That’s not the point. The point is to constantly fuel something that interests you.
For years my wife has loved to cook vegetarian meals. Then last month she started a simple blog and the most fascinating thing started to happen. Her cooking changed from something she simply did, to something she eagerly shared and talked to others about. She suddenly had an audience to teach something she cared about. People started to thank her and cook her meals. Now she wants to do something more with it. Maybe private cooking classes or a recipe book.
This would have never come if she hadn’t taken her interest to the next level. It didn’t have to be a blog. That just happens to be one of the easiest ways of doing it these days. Seriously start a blog. It takes a few hours max. Write about what excites you and nothing else. Publish it for the world to see. Do it daily or weekly. Give your passion room to breathe. See what happens.
Your life’s an experiment
Everything you do, everything you try, everything that does or doesn’t work out, whether you like it or not, it’s all an experiment. It’s up to you to decide to learn from it. That’s the ultimate daily practice.
Test how you can help people. Test what excites you. Test what you like. Test what scares you. Realize that if you do what you’ve always done, your results are never going to change.
Living a life of purpose and passion is just that, a way of life. Those who wake up excited aren’t just the lucky ones, they condition themselves to experience and deserve it.
“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.”- Hardy D. Jackson
Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Scott Dinsmore of LiveYourLegend
For the past 8 years I’ve run experiments on myself and others to better understand what makes us come alive.
This has taken me on ultra-marathons, to the tops of mountains, the bowels of bookstores, around the world and in front of some pretty fascinating people on some very deep soul searching. Finding passion and helping folks do work that embodies it has become a bit of an obsession of mine and has turned up some interesting results.
It turns out passion is not as elusive as we think. Just like daily exercise leads to a more fit and healthy body, there are habits that lead to fire in your belly. If we are to cultivate such a lifestyle we must act accordingly.
1. Surround yourself with passionate people. This is the foundation. Most people don’t believe you can do work you love because they’re constantly around people who hate their jobs and don’t know what excites them. This has to change. Those around you have everything to do with your success and your belief of what’s possible. You’ll either rise up or sink down depending on who’s next to you.
Passion is contagious. You must have an environment that embodies it. You need a support crew who believes what you believe. People who dream as big as you or bigger. Not only will they give you ideas but they’ll condition the belief that doing what you love is the norm. They fuel our passion and make the unthinkable possible, even normal. You’ll begin to expect the same of yourself.
It’s crucial to get this right. It’s why Leo and I get out on barefoot runs in San Francisco every week or so and why I’m on a quest to document 1,000 people across the world living their dreams. We all need encouragement.
Look around you. Do the people you see inspire and motivate you? Are they doing epic things? Do they love their work? Learn how to make genuine connections with new people doing interesting things. Check Craig’s List, MeetUp, coffee shop bulletin boards, Chamber of Commerce, Twitter, Facebook or LinkedIn. Find people in your own town and online. Befriend them. Make them a part of your life. Get out on adventures together. Schedule a weekly dinner or drinks just to talk about what’s exciting. Environment is everything.
2. Create space. If you don’t give big ideas room, they’ll never show up. Purpose and passion are no different. Lack of space creates pressure – the ultimate killer of creativity. And nothing requires more creative juices than passion. Start small with five minutes each morning. Schedule downtime. Start walking to work instead of taking the bus. Don’t multitask. Get out in nature. Just be, let things flow and see what comes up. Give yourself permission to dream. Passion thrives in emptiness.
3. Help someone in a way only you can. We all have natural strengths and talents that can dramatically help those around us. What comes easy for you is no doubt challenging for others. We tend to take these for granted, often hardly noticing our own gifts, and rarely share them with others. Passion comes from using those on a routine basis. Ask yourself, What do people thank you for? What do people routinely ask for your help with? Most people’s passions help others in one way or another. Perhaps for you it’s knitting, teaching children math, cooking a good meal or leading a yoga class. Devote time each day to sharing your talents.
4. Keep a journal of what inspires and excites you. Let your thoughts run wild. Most importantly, keep a running list of what inspires you. Books, magazines, movies, people, products, music, stories, careers, everything. Most people have a brush with passion almost daily, unfortunately we’re often too busy thinking of our 97-item todo list to take in the education. Anytime something catches your eye or excites you, open up your journal and get it onto paper. Over the years you will have a running story of how you might enjoy spending your time.
5. Challenge the norm. Ask questions. Don’t take things as gospel just because that’s how they’ve always been done. Don’t aimlessly listen to those around you. Question everything you’ve been doing and are about to do, especially if you don’t enjoy it. Is it really what you want? Is it in line with who you are? Perhaps there’s a better way. There often is.
6. Scare yourself – Live outside your comfort zone. Passionate people thrive off uncertainty. If you aren’t doing things that give you a few goose bumps you’re either not learning, dying or bored out of your mind. None of which are good. Do something at least mildly uncomfortable daily. This could be as small as making a phone call or sharing your art with someone. Be vulnerable. There’s a pretty direct correlation between pushing limits and epic living.
7. Find the right reasons. If a passionate person gets fired, they brush it off and get excited about the opportunity the lost job must be presenting. You can’t control what happens but you can control your reaction to it. What challenges have come up today? How could you reframe them? The juiciest possibilities often have the best disguises. Notice them.
8. Learn something new. Become obsessed with learning everything you can find – new skills, approaches, ideas, you name it. If it interests you then it’s important enough to get in your brain. We have to fuel what excites us. Grab a magazine or book that interests you and read a few pages on the way to work or before bed. Passionate people almost always have a book within reach. Ideas can be found anywhere. Start looking. Be a sponge.
9. Start at blog. Surprise, surprise, right? But blogs are much more powerful than most realize. They’re a simple way to explore and share the thoughts and beliefs you’re excited about and for people to immediately see and provide feedback. Don’t worry about whether you’ll make money from it or who will read it. That’s not the point. The point is to constantly fuel something that interests you.
For years my wife has loved to cook vegetarian meals. Then last month she started a simple blog and the most fascinating thing started to happen. Her cooking changed from something she simply did, to something she eagerly shared and talked to others about. She suddenly had an audience to teach something she cared about. People started to thank her and cook her meals. Now she wants to do something more with it. Maybe private cooking classes or a recipe book.
This would have never come if she hadn’t taken her interest to the next level. It didn’t have to be a blog. That just happens to be one of the easiest ways of doing it these days. Seriously start a blog. It takes a few hours max. Write about what excites you and nothing else. Publish it for the world to see. Do it daily or weekly. Give your passion room to breathe. See what happens.
Your life’s an experiment
Everything you do, everything you try, everything that does or doesn’t work out, whether you like it or not, it’s all an experiment. It’s up to you to decide to learn from it. That’s the ultimate daily practice.
Test how you can help people. Test what excites you. Test what you like. Test what scares you. Realize that if you do what you’ve always done, your results are never going to change.
Living a life of purpose and passion is just that, a way of life. Those who wake up excited aren’t just the lucky ones, they condition themselves to experience and deserve it.
Quote:
The Amazing Power of Being Present
‘Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.’ ~Thich Nhat Hahn
Post written by Leo Babauta.
How can you bring calm and peace to the middle of a stress-ful, chaotic day?
The answer is simple, though not always so easy to put into practice: learn to be present.
No matter how out-of-control your day is, no matter how stressful your job or life becomes, the act of being present can become an oasis. It can change your life, and it’s incredibly simple.
When I asked people what things prevent them from having a peaceful day, some of the responses:
* Work, the internet, my own lizard brain.
* Social media and other digital distractions.
* For me it’s too many things coming at me all at once. Whether it’s news, or decisions, or work to be done.
* My four children.
* Dishes, Laundry, Kids.
* Needless interruptions.
* Lack of control. I work in IT, and often “urgent” things will come up that need to be investigated/fixed right away (their definition, not necessarily mine).
* My own monkey mind.
The amazing thing: all of these problems can be solved by one technique. Being Present.
How Being Present Solves Problems
When you look at all of the problems above, you can see if you look closely that the problems are entirely in the mind. Sure, there are external forces at work: an uncontrollable job, the stress of kids and chores and interruptions and digital distractions. But it’s how our mind handles those external forces that is the problem.
If you are completely present, the external forces are no longer a problem, because there is only you and that external force, in this moment, and not a million other things you need to worry about.
If your kid interrupts you, you can stress out because you have other things to worry about and now your kid is adding to your worries or interrupting your calm. Or you can be present, and there is then only you and the child. You can appreciate that child for who she is, and be grateful you have this moment with her.
If your job demands that you focus on an urgent task, you can stress out because you have a million other things to do and not enough time to do them. Or you can be present, and focus completely on that task, and now there is only that one task and you. When you’re done, you can move on to the next task.
Social media and other digital distractions don’t interrupt us if we close them and learn to pour ourselves completely into the present task. And if we need to do email, Twitter, or read blogs, we can set aside everything else and just be present with that one digital task.
Being present becomes, then, a way to handle any problem, any distraction, any stressor. It allows everything else to fade away, leaving only you and whatever you’re dealing with right now.
How to Practice Being Present
The method for being present is fairly simple, but it’s the practice that matters most.
Most people don’t learn to be present because they don’t practice, not because it’s so hard to do.
When you practice something regularly, you become good at it. It becomes more a mode of being rather than a task on your to-do or someday list.
Practice, practice, and being present will become natural.
Here’s how to do it: whatever you’re doing, right now, learn to focus completely on doing that one thing. Pay attention: to every aspect of what you’re doing, to your body, to the sensations, to your thoughts.
You will notice your thoughts, if you’re paying attention, jump to other things. That’s OK — you are not trying to force all other thoughts from your mind. But by becoming aware of that jumping around in your thoughts, you have found the tool for gently bringing yourself back to your present task. Just notice the jumping thoughts, and lovingly come back.
Do this once, then do it again. Don’t worry about how many times you must do it. Just do it now.
It can become tiring at first, if you’re not used to it. Don’t worry about that. Let yourself rest if you grow tired. Come back and practice again in a little while. It’s not meant to be exhausting — instead you should notice how your worries melt away and you enjoy your present task much more.
Be joyful in whatever you’re doing, grateful that you’re able to do that task, and fully appreciate every little movement and tactile sensation of the task. You’ll learn that anything can be an amazing experience, anything can be a miracle.
Practice throughout your day, every day. Little “mindfulness bells” are useful to remind you to come back to the present. Thich Nhat Hanh once recommended that stoplights be your mindfulness bell as you drive. You can find mindfulness bells everywhere: your child’s voice, your co-workers appearing before you, a regular event on your computer, the noise of traffic.
Meditation is a fantastic way to practice, only because it removes much of the complexity of the world and allows you to just learn to be aware of your mind, and to bring yourself back to the present moment. It’s not complicated: meditation can be done anywhere, anytime. A meditation teacher is useful if you can find one.
Practice, repeatedly, in small easy beautiful steps. Each step is a wonder in itself, and each practice helps you to find that calm in the middle of the traffic of your life.
‘Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis
on which the world earth revolves – slowly, evenly, without
rushing toward the future. Live the actual moment.
Only this moment is life.’ ~Thich Nhat Hanh
‘Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.’ ~Thich Nhat Hahn
Post written by Leo Babauta.
How can you bring calm and peace to the middle of a stress-ful, chaotic day?
The answer is simple, though not always so easy to put into practice: learn to be present.
No matter how out-of-control your day is, no matter how stressful your job or life becomes, the act of being present can become an oasis. It can change your life, and it’s incredibly simple.
When I asked people what things prevent them from having a peaceful day, some of the responses:
* Work, the internet, my own lizard brain.
* Social media and other digital distractions.
* For me it’s too many things coming at me all at once. Whether it’s news, or decisions, or work to be done.
* My four children.
* Dishes, Laundry, Kids.
* Needless interruptions.
* Lack of control. I work in IT, and often “urgent” things will come up that need to be investigated/fixed right away (their definition, not necessarily mine).
* My own monkey mind.
The amazing thing: all of these problems can be solved by one technique. Being Present.
How Being Present Solves Problems
When you look at all of the problems above, you can see if you look closely that the problems are entirely in the mind. Sure, there are external forces at work: an uncontrollable job, the stress of kids and chores and interruptions and digital distractions. But it’s how our mind handles those external forces that is the problem.
If you are completely present, the external forces are no longer a problem, because there is only you and that external force, in this moment, and not a million other things you need to worry about.
If your kid interrupts you, you can stress out because you have other things to worry about and now your kid is adding to your worries or interrupting your calm. Or you can be present, and there is then only you and the child. You can appreciate that child for who she is, and be grateful you have this moment with her.
If your job demands that you focus on an urgent task, you can stress out because you have a million other things to do and not enough time to do them. Or you can be present, and focus completely on that task, and now there is only that one task and you. When you’re done, you can move on to the next task.
Social media and other digital distractions don’t interrupt us if we close them and learn to pour ourselves completely into the present task. And if we need to do email, Twitter, or read blogs, we can set aside everything else and just be present with that one digital task.
Being present becomes, then, a way to handle any problem, any distraction, any stressor. It allows everything else to fade away, leaving only you and whatever you’re dealing with right now.
How to Practice Being Present
The method for being present is fairly simple, but it’s the practice that matters most.
Most people don’t learn to be present because they don’t practice, not because it’s so hard to do.
When you practice something regularly, you become good at it. It becomes more a mode of being rather than a task on your to-do or someday list.
Practice, practice, and being present will become natural.
Here’s how to do it: whatever you’re doing, right now, learn to focus completely on doing that one thing. Pay attention: to every aspect of what you’re doing, to your body, to the sensations, to your thoughts.
You will notice your thoughts, if you’re paying attention, jump to other things. That’s OK — you are not trying to force all other thoughts from your mind. But by becoming aware of that jumping around in your thoughts, you have found the tool for gently bringing yourself back to your present task. Just notice the jumping thoughts, and lovingly come back.
Do this once, then do it again. Don’t worry about how many times you must do it. Just do it now.
It can become tiring at first, if you’re not used to it. Don’t worry about that. Let yourself rest if you grow tired. Come back and practice again in a little while. It’s not meant to be exhausting — instead you should notice how your worries melt away and you enjoy your present task much more.
Be joyful in whatever you’re doing, grateful that you’re able to do that task, and fully appreciate every little movement and tactile sensation of the task. You’ll learn that anything can be an amazing experience, anything can be a miracle.
Practice throughout your day, every day. Little “mindfulness bells” are useful to remind you to come back to the present. Thich Nhat Hanh once recommended that stoplights be your mindfulness bell as you drive. You can find mindfulness bells everywhere: your child’s voice, your co-workers appearing before you, a regular event on your computer, the noise of traffic.
Meditation is a fantastic way to practice, only because it removes much of the complexity of the world and allows you to just learn to be aware of your mind, and to bring yourself back to the present moment. It’s not complicated: meditation can be done anywhere, anytime. A meditation teacher is useful if you can find one.
Practice, repeatedly, in small easy beautiful steps. Each step is a wonder in itself, and each practice helps you to find that calm in the middle of the traffic of your life.
‘Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis
on which the world earth revolves – slowly, evenly, without
rushing toward the future. Live the actual moment.
Only this moment is life.’ ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Quote:
The Tragedy of Missing Out
Post written by Leo Babauta.
A father and his son went fishing on a small boat, hungry.
The father helped his son reel in his first fish, and it was a beauty. “Great catch, son,” the father said.
“Yes, but I’m worried I’m missing out on better fish,” the son said. “What if I could catch a bigger, tastier fish?”
“Maybe you should try,” the father said.
And the son did, catching an even bigger fish an hour later. “A real beaut,” the father said.
“But what if there are better fish out there?” the son asked.
“Maybe you should try,” the father said.
And the son did, catching a bigger fish, then wondering if there were better fish, catching another, and so on.
At the end of the day, the son was exhausted. The father asked, “How did the fish taste?”
The son hesitated. “I’m not sure. I was so busy looking for better fish that I didn’t taste any of them.”
The father smiled contentedly, patted his belly. “Don’t worry. They were delicious.”
—
We are all of us like the son. We all worry, at some time or other, that we’re missing out on things.
It’s why we’re so busy — we take on so much because we don’t want to miss out. We take on dozens of goals and aspirations, because we don’t want to miss out.
But here’s the bare truth: we will miss out, no matter what. It’s inevitable. We cannot do or try everything in the world, even with lives twice as long. We cannot see every town and city, read every interesting book, watch every important film. We will always, always miss out.
Here’s the second, more important truth: if you always worry about what you’re missing out on, you will miss out on what you already have.
Don’t make a reading list a mile long — focus on the book in your hand. Don’t pack your vacation itinerary with every highlight of the city you’re visiting — walk around and enjoy what you find. Don’t worry about traveling the entire world — be delighted with the world around you. Don’t worry about what you’re missing online, or in the news — what you’re doing is good enough.
And let go of your long to-do lists and goal lists. They are a futile attempt to keep from missing out. You will miss out, but in striving to do everything, you’ll miss out on the wonder of the thing you are doing right now.
What you’re doing right now is all that matters. Let the rest go, and enjoy the fish you’ve already caught.
Post written by Leo Babauta.
A father and his son went fishing on a small boat, hungry.
The father helped his son reel in his first fish, and it was a beauty. “Great catch, son,” the father said.
“Yes, but I’m worried I’m missing out on better fish,” the son said. “What if I could catch a bigger, tastier fish?”
“Maybe you should try,” the father said.
And the son did, catching an even bigger fish an hour later. “A real beaut,” the father said.
“But what if there are better fish out there?” the son asked.
“Maybe you should try,” the father said.
And the son did, catching a bigger fish, then wondering if there were better fish, catching another, and so on.
At the end of the day, the son was exhausted. The father asked, “How did the fish taste?”
The son hesitated. “I’m not sure. I was so busy looking for better fish that I didn’t taste any of them.”
The father smiled contentedly, patted his belly. “Don’t worry. They were delicious.”
—
We are all of us like the son. We all worry, at some time or other, that we’re missing out on things.
It’s why we’re so busy — we take on so much because we don’t want to miss out. We take on dozens of goals and aspirations, because we don’t want to miss out.
But here’s the bare truth: we will miss out, no matter what. It’s inevitable. We cannot do or try everything in the world, even with lives twice as long. We cannot see every town and city, read every interesting book, watch every important film. We will always, always miss out.
Here’s the second, more important truth: if you always worry about what you’re missing out on, you will miss out on what you already have.
Don’t make a reading list a mile long — focus on the book in your hand. Don’t pack your vacation itinerary with every highlight of the city you’re visiting — walk around and enjoy what you find. Don’t worry about traveling the entire world — be delighted with the world around you. Don’t worry about what you’re missing online, or in the news — what you’re doing is good enough.
And let go of your long to-do lists and goal lists. They are a futile attempt to keep from missing out. You will miss out, but in striving to do everything, you’ll miss out on the wonder of the thing you are doing right now.
What you’re doing right now is all that matters. Let the rest go, and enjoy the fish you’ve already caught.
Last edited by napsus; 08-30-2011 at 06:11 AM.
08-30-2011
, 05:50 AM
08-30-2011
, 06:03 AM
might be offtopic but this is pretty intresting
http://inspirationfeed.com/inspirati...way-you-think/
http://inspirationfeed.com/inspirati...way-you-think/
08-30-2011
, 07:08 AM
looking forward to reading
08-30-2011
, 08:40 AM
08-30-2011
, 09:49 AM
08-30-2011
, 09:54 AM
can't wait to see that youtube clip, can't watch it at work 
this one i'm gonna read again tonight when i'm supposed to an LFTV watch a vid and take extensive notes.
this one i'm gonna read again tonight when i'm supposed to an LFTV watch a vid and take extensive notes.
Quote:
Best Procrastination Tip Ever
Post written by Leo Babauta.
Your first thought as you look at this article will be, “I’ll read this later.”
But don’t. Let the urge to switch to a new task pass. Read this now.
It’ll take you two minutes. It’ll save you countless hours.
I’ve written the book on ending procrastination, but I’ve since come up with a very simple technique for beating everyone’s favorite nemesis. It is incredibly easy, but as with anything, it takes a little practice.
Try it now:
Identify the most important thing you have to do today.
Decide to do just the first little part of it — just the first minute, or even 30 seconds of it. Getting started is the only thing in the world that matters.
Clear away distractions. Turn everything off. Close all programs. There should just be you, and your task.
Sit there, and focus on getting started. Not doing the whole task, just starting.
Pay attention to your mind, as it starts to have urges to switch to another task. You will have urges to check email or Facebook or Twitter or your favorite website. You will want to play a game or make a call or do another task. Notice these urges.
But don’t move. Notice the urges, but sit still, and let them pass. Urges build up in intensity, then pass, like a wave. Let each one pass.
Notice also your mind trying to justify not doing the task. Also let these self-rationalizing thoughts pass.
Now just take one small action to get started. As tiny a step as possible.
Get started, and the rest will flow.
Post written by Leo Babauta.
Your first thought as you look at this article will be, “I’ll read this later.”
But don’t. Let the urge to switch to a new task pass. Read this now.
It’ll take you two minutes. It’ll save you countless hours.
I’ve written the book on ending procrastination, but I’ve since come up with a very simple technique for beating everyone’s favorite nemesis. It is incredibly easy, but as with anything, it takes a little practice.
Try it now:
Identify the most important thing you have to do today.
Decide to do just the first little part of it — just the first minute, or even 30 seconds of it. Getting started is the only thing in the world that matters.
Clear away distractions. Turn everything off. Close all programs. There should just be you, and your task.
Sit there, and focus on getting started. Not doing the whole task, just starting.
Pay attention to your mind, as it starts to have urges to switch to another task. You will have urges to check email or Facebook or Twitter or your favorite website. You will want to play a game or make a call or do another task. Notice these urges.
But don’t move. Notice the urges, but sit still, and let them pass. Urges build up in intensity, then pass, like a wave. Let each one pass.
Notice also your mind trying to justify not doing the task. Also let these self-rationalizing thoughts pass.
Now just take one small action to get started. As tiny a step as possible.
Get started, and the rest will flow.
08-30-2011
, 11:01 AM
Also loved the vid.
His thoughts on death being what makes life worth living is what I - and undoubtedly most others on the planet - know in their hearts, but never really start living accordingly.
Most people are not satisfied with their work, let alone love what they do. However, they may pursue their dreams elsewhere, via hobbies, volunteering, their kids... Obv it sucks that most people spend a significant portion of their day "grinding it out" to put food on the table, but that fact of life is hard to change for most people.
Just before I watched the vid, I had a conversation with my 58-year-old dad about the progress his making with golf after some 3-4 years of regular play. He's also started taking classical singing lessons and enjoying it to the max. It's safe to say he won't become a pro in either of his hobbies, but he's passionate about them and clearly enjoys life as a result.
It's the pursuit, rather than the realisation of our dreams, that truly makes us happy. So "dream on", y'all!
His thoughts on death being what makes life worth living is what I - and undoubtedly most others on the planet - know in their hearts, but never really start living accordingly.
Most people are not satisfied with their work, let alone love what they do. However, they may pursue their dreams elsewhere, via hobbies, volunteering, their kids... Obv it sucks that most people spend a significant portion of their day "grinding it out" to put food on the table, but that fact of life is hard to change for most people.
Just before I watched the vid, I had a conversation with my 58-year-old dad about the progress his making with golf after some 3-4 years of regular play. He's also started taking classical singing lessons and enjoying it to the max. It's safe to say he won't become a pro in either of his hobbies, but he's passionate about them and clearly enjoys life as a result.
It's the pursuit, rather than the realisation of our dreams, that truly makes us happy. So "dream on", y'all!
08-30-2011
, 02:14 PM
^ couldn't agree more.
this only gives me more power and determination to finish what I have started...thanks for posting this
I struggle with this too quite a bit. One or two bad moves and my game breaks down.
The positive thing is that you have realized it. Eliminating your C-game is more valuable than trying to pimp up your A-game. Once you know your mistakes, you realize that there is room for improvement and that should motivate you to push further, to learn more.
I suggest you pick up a routine before each session: write down your C-game characteristics (e.g. barreling too much, getting it in too light), their triggers (e.g. playing tired, making a clearly -ev play) and your long term goals, whatever they are. I have found this routine to be very useful to get the right mindset when you start grinding. Then next time you are about to make that clearly -ev play, you can look back at the notes and realize that it definitely is not a winning play, and act accordingly. Not sure if this works for everyone, but it has worked for me quite well. The goal is to eliminate your C-game, the biggest leaks you have. Now that you have identified your leak, try to figure out what is the best way to fix it.
Quote:
My studies just started. Today we had a lecture by Pekka Himanen, a Finnish philosophist, maybe the best-known. He finished his doctorate at the age of 20, after only 2 years of studies. First I was lost on the lecture, but at one point, I was completely mezmerized. In the end he showed this video, which I found extremely inspirational, and was even on the verge of tears because of it's pure beauty.
Quote:
I think one of my main tilt factors is when I make a really -EV play. Like if I make a bluff shove and I realize by my opponent's call that the bluff was really really terrible, because that opponent clearly calls way too wide and should not be bluffed. My mind then starts criticizing myself 10 times per minute and I start questioning whether I can really be a winning player if I occasionally give away an entire stack to a fish etc.
Anyone know how to think about this?
Anyone know how to think about this?
The positive thing is that you have realized it. Eliminating your C-game is more valuable than trying to pimp up your A-game. Once you know your mistakes, you realize that there is room for improvement and that should motivate you to push further, to learn more.
I suggest you pick up a routine before each session: write down your C-game characteristics (e.g. barreling too much, getting it in too light), their triggers (e.g. playing tired, making a clearly -ev play) and your long term goals, whatever they are. I have found this routine to be very useful to get the right mindset when you start grinding. Then next time you are about to make that clearly -ev play, you can look back at the notes and realize that it definitely is not a winning play, and act accordingly. Not sure if this works for everyone, but it has worked for me quite well. The goal is to eliminate your C-game, the biggest leaks you have. Now that you have identified your leak, try to figure out what is the best way to fix it.
Last edited by napsus; 08-30-2011 at 02:22 PM.
08-30-2011
, 02:43 PM
