2015 WSOP Main Event
03-02-2016
, 07:33 PM
03-03-2016
, 01:38 PM
03-03-2016
, 01:59 PM
06-06-2016
, 04:07 PM
Quote:
Since ya'll got so much to say about me, I haven't seen much of the telecasts yet, idk if I will, and idk how they will edit me, I might as well throw in my 2 cents. I've been around here forever and you can call me many things I have thick skin and can take it and probably feel even worse about myself 
but most can say that I'm not a bull****ter. Anyways, idk if I'll ever recover from the pain that you all will witness whenever my bustout occurs, but idc. I'm glad I had some fun/good run/and have a mild platform to rant a bit. Maybe ESPN will show some. Really wish I won though for the story book, "takes a bogus felony charge so he can go to WSOP, wins main event" cinderella story welcome to my life. Mods will probably delete it for the other bs I rant about but I think its all relevant and want it all out there if you want to hear from me and the stuff ESPN edits. Just if you delete any of it, delete it all or keep it all, all I ask.
AZMountainHiker is correct. It isn't presumptuous to assume my odor would be foul based on my appearance. I am not the most hygienic person in the world, but in the population subset of WSOP ME players I probably am in the top 10 percentile in terms of bodily odor/hygeine as I shower/brush teeth every morning and even showered during my dinner break too when I was on the TV table the last 2 days as it got hot/sweaty.To give me **** for my hygiene would be silly.
In the rare times I do care about my appearance, I would buy conditioner that the hotel didn't provide and/or cut my hair so it doesn't appear to be greasy and unkempt.
Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. They are true. An overweight, toothless, drug addict, with unkempt hair is much more likely to have bad body odor than someone that looks like DNEGS. I try my best not to smell when I'm in public usually though
I enjoy it and it is part of my strategy. Very few of the people at the table are as used to playing for insanely high stakes as much as I have, so it makes people make mistakes.
Negreanu's shtick is to constantly talk to people and play buddy buddy and joke about his nittiness and how he's Mr. Cold 4! Do you think that he is genuine? Lmao, just because one table demeanor is 'friendly' and the other is 'antagonizing' they both are accomplishing the same goals....to exploit your image/fish for monetary gain.
Personally, I find Dnegs shtick to be much more annoying/unbearable than the antagonizing types (guess you can say hellmuth, but he's pretty much delusional so its hard to categorize him. Or myself.
You all notice that Negreanu basically gave up his table talking bs when I arrived? I don't know how edited it is, I haven't watched the coverage yet and might not ever but anyways my point that all talk and actions at table are purely strategic and judging people for it is irrational. Its just a persona, an act. I'm better at it than Dnegs too [too bad going to have to wait 800 years to reach the long run and run at expectation] Hope DDL's friends don't consider him bill the butcher permanently after method acting! Everything any pro says or does at a poker table can and should be considered an act.
Many elite athletes act completely differently on the court (at work) and in real life and its accepted by people, but not for poker for some reason. If people can't discern 'trash talk' or whatever goes down when you are working and battling for life changing from one's personality in real life, I don't know what to say. I'd include examples but worried I might spoil because think they aren't at final 2 tables yet and haven't watched.
I am 100% in the right here, and if Negreanu had made the request then it would have been handled differently. Just example number 901249012 of WSOP incompetence and showing favorability and complete incompetence.
Table draws are random. However, feature tables aren't random. Because I am a character I am much more likely to be at a feature table. (and I was.) If one table had an auto shuffler, and the other table didn't, then both tables play without an auto shuffler. This should be same with announcing. Its completely unfair that because I am giving ESPN more material, my edge should be slightly hurt, because I can't completely conceal my knowledge of the information on the board while in position on the river.
It really isn't even close. I would have complained more if I thought there was any chance the WSOP would listen/show logic, but they are completely incompetent and unfair. Robbie (the announcer) is way out of line in a lot of his announcing. Other players that you guys would actually respect have said so many times. Paging Ike Haxton! Please confirm I'm not just a crazy munk
. Now, obviously my request would be insane/wrong if we were the last table left. But with many tables left and only one being announced, and me having a much higher likelihood of being at the announced table (not random) is the definition of unfair play and I was cheated. Im pretty sure even daniel can understand that. Obviously, very little effect, and not nearly as bad as the crazy 14-9th pay jump spectacle with one table stalling, but WSOP did a great job making the biggest tournament of the year completely unfair/joke. (Despite me warning them this exact scenario would occur weeks in advance) The people in charge don't understand or care about poker or integrity of the game as much as we do, they care about numbers, and they know the only people that complain about this stuff are showing up anyway!
Part strategy too, as I had position on him, and wanted him to think of me in a certain way, so as always with EVERYTHING ANYONE says at the table while playing for millions of dollars taking it at 100% value is idiotic.
Having said that, he's a good looking poker superstar, and I am a poker fan boy. I played 500-1k Rail Heaven and 500-1k thunder dome years ago and following highstakes poker since I was ****ing 12 years old grinding prima freerolls on multiple accounts, lol. Then I did the party poker 50$ refer a friend bonus grinding steps but I'd always sweat the highstakes games (NL only ran for a while before PLO got popular) I knew he was a boss, I think I may have been confusing him with his brother that played a lot of 100-200nl though, idk. I am a genuine fanboy of steinberg though, and he was my only real competition at the table for a while. Well Cannuli was somewhat of a player, but in actuality just an aggressive button clicker. (I think, small sample, might have to see more hands) Funny enough, just being a fearless button clicker is enough to crush the main with how soft it is
Just reread that and thought it came off as hating on Daniel too much. Daniel is a beast. He won't make any big mistakes vs good players, and soooooo many weaker players will make massive mistakes vs him, and he plays fish exploitatively better than >90% 'elite' mtters/onliners. He played a hand vs cannuli that it just blew my mind that he got him to just punt like that. He clearly is an amazing live MTT player and crushes the main event. However, it is true the press making him out to be the superstar he is is downright hilarious with how fundamentally terribly he is theoretically in some spots. Clearly he is a spot in almost all SHRs now and any pro that argues that is just hustling.
Its hard to hate on Daniel though because I don't know if he's playing to make the FT for brand equity, if he cares about making the most money only (I doubt that while most of us grinders are) or if he truly is just playing for the win.
Either way AKo is a trivial fold pre in the spot he cold 4 vs Joe (idk if spoil) and if he thought Joe was out of line enough then its a shove. 4betting and slamming the table upset and tanking while getting shoved on is equivalent of saying "I don't understand whats going on."
w/e enough theory its hard to talk for days, its just Daniel loves to preach on and on about his small ball and how he does his thing and how you are one of those 3bettors, and he really just simply lacks the knowledge of basic theory to succeed in the highest stakes today, and I'd be lying if I didn't feel jealous that the general public thinks otherwise and I cringe more and more I hear about 'smallball' and how far above expectation he ran during his heater but w/e. If I was Daniel and lived his life I probably would act just like him too, the guy is ****ing blessed. Its not his fault! Poker MTTs are a never-ending cruel martingale for the lucky and the wishful thinking delusional masochists. Same with PLO. I wish I stayed in school. (jk)
Yes, Daniel, one of the common leaks of the younger generation during the poker boom was over aggression/xbetting and you felt superior to kids because of your experience you realized that almost half the field 3betting pre flop meant QQ+AK. You mopped up some of those idiots. Most of the clueless aggress are bust, and I'm sure a syndicate could be formed to crossbook Fedor or Dan Smith or whoever for millions upon millions in mtt format. WSOP is WSODNEGS. WE NEED NEW KIDPOKER. [SHOULDABEENME] FML
I'm super impressed with how DNEGS gets amateur players or weaker 'pros' even to punt to him. Thats daniel's bread and butter. He owned cannuli in a spot I don't even remember completely, just was watching closely and was positive negreanu was nutted and absolutely shocked he got cannuli to put in many chips. He might have double check raised or something on a dry flop, it was insane. I was expecting to see a set over set or something and then saw a snap fold and then thought to myself, "this is how daniel still makes money after all these years how do these idiots keep giving him money" Granted, I've probably seen every televised hand of Daniel's life, back from when he actually was a huge tell box fish to now where he is....well semi-solid Daniel. He has so much money and crushed it all from idiots for so many years and why would he care about poker anymore? Its tough.
Well, I got off topic, whatever. Daniel is a really good guy at heart and any resentment I had to him for stuff he said about my best friend ages ago has past. I devote my life to studying poker and grinding poker. Back when online poker was in the USA regs would be like 'aperfectgent u ever sleep?' Negreanu was my original poker hero. He was way ahead of his time and crushed people and was king of his era and the most successful tournament poker player of all time now right now. He grinded like hell and worked very hard to get there. It irks me that he still thinks he's the ****ing BEST and carries himself that way and so does the media. (And no I don't think I'm anywhere near the BEST at any poker variant, maybe like top 50-100 in 2 but w/e)
I understand its ratings and I will probably never have my validation. Anyone that hears someone is a poker pro will still ask how much you lose and it will never be viewed as a profession as a hedge fund manager or investment banker would (AS IT SHOULD BE) To quote a better writer than my bipolar stream of consciousness crazy self after Dnegs lost to one of the hardest working/studying poker players I've ever met, Dan Colman.
Nothing changes!
Its just the same old same old. Daniel will put someone on the most likely value combo and fold because fish don't bluff deep in the main and Norman will fellate him or a fish will take a nonsensical line and he'll say I'm confused and call and win. Is poker still casual? What % of ESPN2 audience think in ranges. It just is super depressing and I don't even think I'll be able to watch the coverage knowing daily fantasy sports in booming and poker still has a stigma. Imagine if Daniel/Phil/Antonio admitted the game has changed drastically from the poker boom and there was a segment contrasting Ike/Hellmuth breaking down a simple button/bb defense spot. The world is realizing autonomy is the future. The singularity is coming!!!! Gl with white magic and sourcing your positive energy guys! Great faces of poker!. **** sample size. **** charlatans.
Glad I entertained you This might be a fun read too
wonder what it looks like with what i wrote here or if its even cool, lol.
My story is well chronicled. Ironically, I was just a simple poker nerd for a while. From 12-17 years old at least mostly. I played video games first, was the #1 ranked madden player in the year vick was on the cover. I was obsessed with poker. I paid for my subaru after winning two 11 rebuys same day, would pay for everything just grinding stars. I was really smart so could take tests and pass high school for most part, and would pay people to do projects so I could graduate. Then, my senior year, I chopped the sunday million for more than first place. Seeing as I was under 18 my mother had no problem cashing out money for me because it meant she didn't have to support me and I could just pay for my own things! However, when I won that and wanted to officially go pro.
I never got along with my mother, and was very close to turning 18 so plan was to just hold it in account until then so i couldn't get hacked. (No RSA token back then but if you were logged in you couldn't be logged out so it was best thing) Unfortunately, people talk in high school. It was summer and I remember the phone call and voice distinctly in my head in that screechy disgustingly stereotypical jewish mother voice. I was at my buddies pool, planning out on summer houses for the summer., senior slide.
"HOW MUCH MONEY DID YOU WIN LAST SUNDAY JUSTIN? GET HOME NOW"
I had a younger brother who was a freshman on the tennis team. A friend of a friend basically saw my mother, nice kid, he actually plays poker! He was like hey Mrs. Schwartz! Congratulations! She didn't know what was going on. Obviously, it would be irrational to hold a grudge or hate him for what he did but I do love to joke/give him **** for it whenever I see him like THANKS A LOT MAN! WAY TO GO. :X
I threw my phone on the floor. She took the money to protect me from myself!. I had never even smoked pot. I drank on weekends occasionally **** normal high school stuff nothing bad really. I was with enough money on me to bail me out...as I just couldn't live at my mother's house, but she held my money hostage. That was a fun 2 days in jail! Disorderly Conduct only charge because a window was broken/a souvenir maybe. She was hysterical I do my best to be calm. Normally, I'd be in and out with a 50$ ticket or PTA or something, but considering my mother/living situation was reason I was in jail, I had to spend the weekend. They fed me mcdonalds.
Judge said no computer for me (lol like I listened to that) as soon as I got back and signed on my computer my mother said I was violating a judges order and was being held in contempt of court. I told her to call and get me arrested....
I also had mandatory gamblers anonymous meetings assigned. the judge was huge prick. Told me I was lucky I didn't have an ankle bracelet. Mandatory GA LMAO. I had never even made a sports bet or done anything but grind poker.
Fun fact, judge was corrupt, literally. Lost his judgeship couple years later. Murica. Not quite cash4kids, but lol. **** this country.
Anyways, I would get kicked out of meeting after meeting because I wouldn't admit I was a gambling addict while talking to the same party poker losers who paid for the car I used to grind there and the 200k sitting in my mothers bank account.
Favorite quote that sticks with me to this day: Random Partypoker degen: "The odds appear to be there, but they aren't really there."
Wish I remembered how tact my response if any was to that. They genuinely wanted to help and thought I was a lost soul so think/hope I was nice, but I was more of a prick and arrogant/closed minded back then unfortunately, lol.
Finally ended back in court and same scumbag judge told me I could go to juvenile detention or go to college. (My mother always wanted me to go to college you know, her dream was a nice jewish girl for me. She said there probably was a blind one out there for me after she gave up her calling me gay phase)
Chose college obv (Muhlenberg Mules lol), turned 18, dropped out, ended up on friends couch at UCONN with nothing, he lent me money for laptop, had a bottle of vodka and some pizza rolls, all good though think I was betting 50k on the Super Bowl next year poker was easy back then.
Not sure when after that I ended up buying a house at the actual worst time right before it collapsed, combined with me and a lot of my friends getting addicted to oxycodone, but ya run bad. I brushed my teeth almost obsessively when they started hurting but it was all for nought basically. FW people would know I'd bring a 2l of diet coke with me when I grinded The acidic diet soda and me drinking >2l of it a day as well as the dry mouth opiates caused when you slept means my teeth just rotted. That and terrible social anxiety/depression at a certain point with black friday after and money issues I had a root canal appointment and just couldn't bring myself to go. When you constantly have suicide on your mind, your teeth don't really fit high on priority list of problems to fix. Having said that, if I made nov 9, I would have bought myself a new mouth. If I made next pay jump, it would have been close, idk, don't wanna exaggerate and lie completely but w/e, probably wouldn't have anyway tbh.
Nah, I am terribly depressed for a number of reasons. I go weeks without eating, and think I left my room 3 times since I got back from california for the bike WPT. I'm sure you can imagine I've dealt with a lot of tooth pain so its understandable I [ab]use[d] various pain killers.
Don't know how Kelly got involved but she is really cool. I think she plays very well too. If I thought I had a >0% chance of wooing her I would have got a hair cut/bought conditioner/bought a gold grill She crushes life, and I do the opposite of crushing life, so ya.... She and Jason Koon and Ben Tollerene are too perfect for me to fathom. I can't wait to find out what their deep dark secret is. Nobody could be that perfect. micropenis? serial killer? Just has to be something. Poker world has some interesting diverse group of people!
ya would take 20-30k probably to fix em. I wouldn't wanna half ass it. Doubt I live long enough to ever want to do it though. A lot of people think its drug use that causes the teeth being ****ed up its just a myth though. Its just the stereotype being accurate. Just like fat/greasy haired people you'd expect to smell, people that do drugs are more likely to not take care of their teeth. Its not the drugs themselves, except for the dry mouth. I'm not a doctor but reasons for my teeth probably like (60% diet coke addiction 20% drug use 10% poor dental care/brushing 5% genetics 5% social anxiety/bipolar etc.
Many people enjoy sitting next to me and find me entertaining. I don't want to misquote her, but Kelly Minkin and another female said they had their favorite poker experience at the WSOP playing with me deep in the millionaire maker this year. Once again though, I don't blame you by judging a book by its cover. In poker, its what I do all the time. Going to respond to a 3bet way differently first hand at table based on age, race, gender, etc. and idk how espn edits me.
Girls actually aren't completely repulsed with me! (No I don't pay and never have paid for sex don't even have self-confidence for a massage at the table!) A half-black/latina girl sort of forced herself to move in with me during the main event and told everyone she was my personal assistant. Was funny seeing people comment on that. Was sort of strange, and seeing as I was playing poker almost every hour of every day its not like I could kick her out, and not like I could risk some falling out and me getting arrested because she prob has meth or would cry rape or something so had to just play it cool.
Very strange experience. She didn't understand poker either, or had clue about how much $ I could have won or how tourneys work etc. During the off day of the main event, the personal assistant I met on reddit and was paying just small $ to grab me shake shack/do laundry whatnot. It makes most economic sense in vegas if you don't have a car because PA costs less than taxi costs doing it yourself and you work more so its something you should really do even when broke. He gets in screaming match with her and says he's taking her to airport. He was bringing me venetian desert. (I'm a fat **** god damn venetian desert is so damn good that butter cake I wish they delivered or I could rationalize paying a PA when I'm not playing poker 12+hours a day. He leaves, she stays. I try to calm things down, but then my PA tilt books a flight to NY....so she assumes PA duty in her head....i guess.
I just sort of write it off figure I'll worry about it later, and try to play it cool....I mean I bring my iPad with me when I play so worst case scenario is she steals my macbook. Don't think I gave her a key either I'm pretty sure she would just run around and text me dinner/end of day.
She doesn't understand poker at all, or how serious going deep in main is, and obv make it seem like I have no money maybe order room service once or twice. Room wasn't bad. Think maybe she was just sort of homeless or her sugar daddy in Oregon or something kicked her out/fight with my friend no idea/focused on poker. The whole thing was so absurd lol, a complete stranger cute girl moved in with me during the main event. I was sort of friends with my PA and really only care about poker but obviously I still have sex drive and well she opted to sleep in the same bed as me despite a fine guest bed next but I was clear to her we were just friends...but she'd like change and walk around naked/change and lol i just am writing it out laughing at how absurd it was. Enough crazy in my life anyway but lol at that happening to me during my main event run. God, I could elaborate so much more/might/pics if I ever write a memoir/suicide note but woulda been 10x cooler if I ****ing won instead. **** YOU ISUXATPOKERBAD.
I thought about trying to kick her out, but figured chance of arrest or drama couldn't risk the equity of my seat.....and then one night....i got wokbren up a little after i dozed off at 2 or 3 am.....and she brought a couple up to the room. now.....I hadn't had much social interaction with her despite just the random bs/talking about life winding down at end of the poker days during the WSOP. She would go out clubbing a lot I think, idk, memory a little weird, I just remember this scenario distinctively because it was when I realized she was a little nuts, lol.
I knew that I was going to be living in Vegas, and had no friends in Vegas. This girl was just on vacation in her head, or maybe testing me as a suitable mate and I failed (thank god) lol (although I really wish I could say I ****ed a black girl for my street cred sadly) My mind was completely focused on poker the entire time so whatever bs she was saying while giving me my panda express or, actually she didn't even do laundry, lol, just went in one ear out the other.
Anyways, I asked the new girl her number...and she FLIPPED OUT started screaming really loud at the girl basically all walter white stay off my territory kicked both of em out immediately. I was flabbergasted, and tired, and went to bed 30 min later, but had to be like, just summarizing lol memory hazy all i care about is poker and staying out of trouble.....but i didn't invite this girl into my room in first place its crazy spots i get myself into omg.
"we are just friends.........you are on vacation and i'm working so its cool but wtf is that why couldn't i get her # ?"I was picking words in like the least confrontational way because I'm paranoid of getting carter gilled its the main event ! But she thinks I could just cash out and not go to work tomorrow or something lol. I told her if I made final 9 (thru last day) I'd get her a 300$ purse or something I think she wanted because she was my good luck charm one day, lol, learn from past to always be broke with girls.
Anyways she began to tell me something about chemistry between us or asked if I felt anything idk. Goddamn its funny I wonder if I would have been able to play that game if I wasn't completely focused on the main. I'm just recollecting it now, and on a typing rant because I just got on my keyboard for first time in a week due to even more personal drama/crazy depression.
How did I go on this rant. sucks i was too depressed to even leave room or do anything for many weeks after main even though she wanted me to/even mentioned helping me find a cheap place to fix my teeth. oh well, theres a lot more to that after the main that ill save for another time.
Awww, get set over set for the biggest equity pot in my life and he compliments my hygiene. You are a ambassador brother. Enjoy the money, you will do better stuff with it than I would.
Do you remember what I told you bro? If you dress up for the FT you are going to get doomswitched by either my ghost spirit or my essence if I'm still alive. #sweatpants #flipflops
haha, I will give people the respect to not talk during big hands I'm not involved in if I respect them and if I like them usually. I don't always do it though. There is no rule against it and if I see it really bothers people I will probably be more likely to do it. If they ask nicely and I don't think they are a scumbag, I comply. I actually did do that for Cannuli when he asked me. Negreanu/others can verify. Otherwise, I'll get my 15 mins of fame.
The whole WSOP ME is special because sooooooo many pros like Dnegs flirt with the ethical line of talking/not talking influencing action in multiway pots or with whatever dumb rules there are. Dnegs got mad at me when I said something in middle of hand vs a guy, "how strong if he shoved now" and he just gave me such a serious angry tone." I found it absurd because dnegs does stuff similar to that in multiway pots all the time (granted not at this stage in a big tourney so its different and he's definitely right and I'm slightly in the wrong) However, the fish was 100% folding regardless and it didn't influence action and if it did I'd understand a TD penalty but its all a joke anyway and anyone with a brain can see how unfair a lot of the rulings are by the TDs. (Like Robbie reading the flop......completely absurd like a lot of things that go on.)
When I play cash games, I will always stfu if others are in a big pot unless I hate both players in it. Tourneys are different, and part of the strategy is, people can't choose who they sit with. You use it to be buddy buddy and they sort of passively collude/softplay (DNEGS Shtick) Or you can get people to hate you so much they gun after you and punt stacks trying just to get u to be quiet. And I get people to punt stacks lol.
Dnegs is wrong. The announcer is way out of line often. Why should I be at a strategic disadvantage because I'm at the feature table when the feature table isn't random? WSOP doesn't care about integrity of game, so what. I dealt with it. But I'd love for you to try to explain to me how you can think this doesn't blatantly effect the integrity of the tournament.
Uppers were never my thing although I don't mind a good ol' crack binge every once in a while holla at yo boy shaniac. My DOC when I was a rich young'n was oxycodone! Goddamn that feeling! How bad could it be either if doctors prescribe it! About 80%+ of the people that started there that I knew ended up thieving/tricking to support heroin habits when price of pills went up because DEA cracked down on the pill mills.
Man, I coulda given some real stories to put merson's story to shame
Think I was happier a lot of time when I was homeless rolling around the hood in my uninsured 6months up for repo acura
I got arrested when I was homeless the very first night I got a cheap hotel room and split it with scumbags because it gets cold in winter. Split it with some scumbag kids to save money. They leave room at 4am to do whatever, but forget phone. I call the kid tell him he left phone. They come back. (cops scouting em entire time) They see me hand dude phone. (think its a hand to hand)
Cops pull em over and they were smoking crack or something stupid and they were asked where they come from just tell us. They snitched! For nothing! They knew I wasn't a drug dealer and just a broke **** wtf did they think they would gain? Anyways, scumbag pigs knock on my door, and I open it an inch. Next thing I know I am pinned to my bed by 4 pigs guns blazing screaming at me yelling at me not to flush the toilet wtf lol. No clue exactly what they found because they sort of combined it with the other kids suitcase that was still there so I don't know how they decided what, probably just lied. It couldn't have been much because I didn't know I had anything on me, lol. A single line of cocaine, single pill of oxy/xanax, single bag of dope/crack its all possession of narcotic and all a felony regardless the amount. Can be trace amounts.
I still remember the smug look on that pigs face when I asked him how he found the stuff in my room while in jail filling out some form. He smiled and told me straight to my face that I consented to the search. I'm not a violent person and often look for ways to forgive anyone and anything and always try to put myself in that persons shoes. I don't think I can have any sympathy for that disgusting person. If punishment they have for possession is fair, then I think a punishment similar to the lolita slave toy creepypasta would be fair for lying cops who get enjoyment out of of ruining people's lives who are doing absolutely nothing negative to society. [dont google that if you don't know it/have weak stomach/don't believe in torture] Thats personal/kind of petty but who knows how many other things he's lied about to arrest people? The cash4kids guy deserves that punishment for sure, lol at those sentences compared to drug pos. nuts!
Now we are talking about stereotypes again. They exist because they are real. In my sample size about 15% of cops are good people/great people in fact. You can tell they genuinely are trying to help. The other 85% of my experiences have been with various levels of terrible people.
Now, when its a bull**** obvious illegal search they usually just tell people to go to drug education program and finish it and they throw it away. I told them I'd like to represent myself, and there is 0% I'd do a drug education program and I'd rather do jail time and I'd plead guilty to whatever, just want to move on and get the **** out of CT.
They tell me that I should just agree to do the drug education program even if I wasn't going to do it because if I plead guilty then the punishment would be drug education program and probation. I said sure, but I'm not agreeing to any probation or drug education program, but you can see me in a year.
Come back in a year and say same thing. Its a dumb stalemate. They aren't going to run a trial for simple drug possession. They aren't going to send me to jail for a completely bogus case where they got almost nothing. And I refuse to do the program because I don't give a **** if I'm a felon. If anything, it probably is best for me because now I can't buy a gun to kill myself. Could get it expunged in 5 years too pretty easily if I wanted to/am alive/paid a lawyer. I finally got a prosecutor that offered me no probation, no program, and just a suspended sentence and the entire court room laughed at me as I left while I was completely ecstatic knowing I could play the WSOP! AND I ALMOST WON! They knew I could have got off easily if I did the program but I refused to enter that circle.
http://www.jud2.ct.gov/crdockets/Cas...f-15e60a656ec7
2.5 years of bull****. alone in a hotel room by foxwoods. joke country.
IMO the idea of drug possession being a crime let alone a felony is absolutely absurd and it disgusts me to live in such a society that I could technically be put in a cage for 5 years because of something I choose to put in my body while alone in my own domicile with no effect on anyone else. THE LAND OF THE FREE. Also, the substances are scientifically proven to be safer than cigarettes and it is pretty much fact thanks to Portugal that decriminalizing drugs and treating it as a health issue rather than a criminal one is more effective. That doesn't matter in the USA though, only money matters. Who needs logic and science when you have lobbyists
Lot of my close friends wonder why I have to keep changing my numbers/have so many numbers!
They've never had the pleasure of newyork narcotics officers threatening you for convincing your gf not to snitch/stop being a CI for her own safety (swear this guy thought he was denzel in training day the **** he was saying and yes I had number verified called dept myself)
.....or a girl doing whipits in your rental car driving over a median because the guy she was cheating on was figuring it out so her response was to scratch her face drawing blood and claim I kidnapped her. I almost got bashed by a baseball bat that night, anyone know GTO strat on fighting someone with a baseball bat? Charge quick protect head hope you just take a glancing shot to an arm and then bring em to ground is your only shot right? Adrenaline should let you still pound away with a shattered arm or whatever, right. Was insanely close to finding out.
Funny enough, recently, a nearly exact situation happened to me which ended with my right ring finger nearly getting bit off by an angry girl.
TL;DR of Entire Post Even if toothless and unkempt can still talk to girls and my life would be immeasurably better if I didn't buy out of my virginity prop bet http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/34...thmunk-147782/.
I have no idea what I wrote. I woke up at 3pm yesterday and was in an unusually terrible mood and finally bought a keyboard so I could concoct some sort of memoirs or suicide note. Its complicated. I'm bored. I am probably going to die due to poor health in <5 years anyway. Why do we let cats and dogs be put down but not people. If I can leave my room two straight days to get a mcdonalds iced coffee I consider myself on an upswing in mental health. I talked to my dad today. He has been really helpful to me after black friday and am grateful for that I guess but sort of wish I just joined some of the other grinders that have suicided since black friday because....man....its just a ****ing joke.
I wish I understood myself or knew what was right. If I thought a shrink would help, I'd go to shrink #12 or whatever. If I thought a rehab would help, I'd go. Rehabs are so counterintuitive. I like to quote the line in blow "I came in prison with a bachelor in marijuana, and left with a doctorate in cocaine" In my experience, I've seen about <5% people get better after a rehab stint, and >95% just get deeper in the game, meet more ****ed up people, and the circle gets deeper and deeper. Know dozens of people just going in and out for years in a cycle of misery. I wonder if I didn't have a unique job if I would be trapped in the same bs.
Its ******ed how people treat addiction and I've seen it ruin so many people that I partially enabled and many people think I'm the actual devil and would want me dead and I'd tell them to pull the trigger.
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/29...ammer-1406093/
pretty sure he did his first oxy at my house. his story......i've seen happen.....dozens of times. hope i didn't give it to him, don't remember.
when u abuse drugs long enough your body just will never produce seratonin (happy chemical) again the same way. your just ****ed for life.
some people are so weak and can't even overcome the physical withdrawals. that is a couple days of terrible pain. the boredom, depression, Post-acute withdrawal symptoms, are what gets people.
the stats are just grim, and people are unscientific (12 steps programs are complete bull**** and a cancer to society and have probably ruined tons more lives than they saved;they don't keep track of stats for a reason)
here is where someone says omg no this person did 12 steps and was at corner of death and it saved them completely! YES! IT WORKS FOR LIKE 8% or <15% OF PEOPLE! You have to be a special type of stupid for the 12 steps to work for you. Find your higher power and say you are powerless can make things worse for people whose underlying cause of their addiction is self-esteem self-image issues.
ya, tell someone who already feels worthless that they are powerless and that a higher power has their back. ya, i'm super happy for people its helped, but I've had people I love dearly be abandoned by their entire family because the ******ed AA program tells them "they have to hit rock bottom before you can help them or your enabling"
The analogies if you think about it are mindbending. Human brain is insanely complex probably most complex thing in universe we don't understand now. Mental health should be treated just like physical health...yet see people who don't work with 12 steps be abandoned by everyone and then just end up back on streets and there is not much help you can do to a sick junkie even if you love them.
Sorry doc, gotta let the cancer get to near death before we start the chemo!
Or even worse, with relapses. Families treat relapses as square one! ITS ****ING ******ED. The whole "Keeping your sober date" is idiotic and sets you up for failure. well, obviously it wasn't done by a doctor. The main thing used to treat an epidemic in this country, is literally just bull**** written by joe blow. Look it up. I **** you not. OH NO NOW I GOT A NEW DATE.
Bill W, not a doctor, wrote the basis of all rehab (court mandated too, experienced it multiple times) over 80 years ago. It hasn't changed.
Imagine if we treated other health problems with 80 year old methods written by some hack? DARE MAN! Abstinence! Just tell kids no sex/drugs and if they do find god. America lives in the ****ing stone ages.
"Forgiving yourself" and "Living in the present" are counter-intuitive to "keeping dates"
I knew a kid who was using 40 minutes before LEADING a narcotics anonymous meeting. Social pressure to keep your date. Just creating a new addiction/family works for some weak people but can cripple people that fail or have low self-esteem..
Say you beat cancer and its in remission woot family celebrates! Get checked every year of course, oh 2 years later a small lump comes back, minor surgery it goes away you recover. That happens sometimes.....
With drugs, if you relapse, YOU LOSE YOUR DATE! BACK TO REHAB! BACK TO 0! 0 HELP 0 SUPPORT! YOU NEED TO FIND GOD! PRAY!
I try to be as religiously tolerant as they come, I don't even consider myself atheist anymore and just say I hope we are part of something much bigger than even the universe and the universe is just some video game a kid is playing or something, but omg when people are sick and selling themselves on the cold in the streets and people who supposedly care about you are talking about god, the stupidity is overwhelming. And it is ingrained in the 12 steps. Its repulsive. And religion is America! I'd lay extreme odds their is no god but can't say 100% so does 99.99999999999% mean atheist?
. WTF poker can I do? I still work but lol the jump from 14-9th in main i got ****ing mckeehened out of is bigger than first place of almost any tourney I can play. Whats the point? Its not like I'm suicidal, I'm not. I was for a bit today, but chilled. Its just, the amount of money, hours of work, stress just to fix my teeth/body/not even counting other stuff I'm not sharing here but w/e. I've talked to rational poker players in confidence about all my problems and some of them agree suicide would be perfectly rational response. Realistically speaking though, I just can't. I can't abandon the few people I actually care about or do that to them unfortunately. I wish I could convince them that life/death is arbitrary and not even be upset if I die just remember good times and laugh.
Its a very thin line between "Life is short, cherish it" and "Life is short, whats the point?"
but most can say that I'm not a bull****ter. Anyways, idk if I'll ever recover from the pain that you all will witness whenever my bustout occurs, but idc. I'm glad I had some fun/good run/and have a mild platform to rant a bit. Maybe ESPN will show some. Really wish I won though for the story book, "takes a bogus felony charge so he can go to WSOP, wins main event" cinderella story welcome to my life. Mods will probably delete it for the other bs I rant about but I think its all relevant and want it all out there if you want to hear from me and the stuff ESPN edits. Just if you delete any of it, delete it all or keep it all, all I ask.AZMountainHiker is correct. It isn't presumptuous to assume my odor would be foul based on my appearance. I am not the most hygienic person in the world, but in the population subset of WSOP ME players I probably am in the top 10 percentile in terms of bodily odor/hygeine as I shower/brush teeth every morning and even showered during my dinner break too when I was on the TV table the last 2 days as it got hot/sweaty.To give me **** for my hygiene would be silly.
In the rare times I do care about my appearance, I would buy conditioner that the hotel didn't provide and/or cut my hair so it doesn't appear to be greasy and unkempt.
Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. They are true. An overweight, toothless, drug addict, with unkempt hair is much more likely to have bad body odor than someone that looks like DNEGS. I try my best not to smell when I'm in public usually though
I enjoy it and it is part of my strategy. Very few of the people at the table are as used to playing for insanely high stakes as much as I have, so it makes people make mistakes.
Negreanu's shtick is to constantly talk to people and play buddy buddy and joke about his nittiness and how he's Mr. Cold 4! Do you think that he is genuine? Lmao, just because one table demeanor is 'friendly' and the other is 'antagonizing' they both are accomplishing the same goals....to exploit your image/fish for monetary gain.
Personally, I find Dnegs shtick to be much more annoying/unbearable than the antagonizing types (guess you can say hellmuth, but he's pretty much delusional so its hard to categorize him. Or myself.
You all notice that Negreanu basically gave up his table talking bs when I arrived? I don't know how edited it is, I haven't watched the coverage yet and might not ever but anyways my point that all talk and actions at table are purely strategic and judging people for it is irrational. Its just a persona, an act. I'm better at it than Dnegs too
[too bad going to have to wait 800 years to reach the long run and run at expectation] Hope DDL's friends don't consider him bill the butcher permanently after method acting! Everything any pro says or does at a poker table can and should be considered an act.Many elite athletes act completely differently on the court (at work) and in real life and its accepted by people, but not for poker for some reason. If people can't discern 'trash talk' or whatever goes down when you are working and battling for life changing from one's personality in real life, I don't know what to say. I'd include examples but worried I might spoil because think they aren't at final 2 tables yet and haven't watched.
I am 100% in the right here, and if Negreanu had made the request then it would have been handled differently. Just example number 901249012 of WSOP incompetence and showing favorability and complete incompetence.
Table draws are random. However, feature tables aren't random. Because I am a character I am much more likely to be at a feature table. (and I was.) If one table had an auto shuffler, and the other table didn't, then both tables play without an auto shuffler. This should be same with announcing. Its completely unfair that because I am giving ESPN more material, my edge should be slightly hurt, because I can't completely conceal my knowledge of the information on the board while in position on the river.
It really isn't even close. I would have complained more if I thought there was any chance the WSOP would listen/show logic, but they are completely incompetent and unfair. Robbie (the announcer) is way out of line in a lot of his announcing. Other players that you guys would actually respect have said so many times. Paging Ike Haxton! Please confirm I'm not just a crazy munk
. Now, obviously my request would be insane/wrong if we were the last table left. But with many tables left and only one being announced, and me having a much higher likelihood of being at the announced table (not random) is the definition of unfair play and I was cheated. Im pretty sure even daniel can understand that. Obviously, very little effect, and not nearly as bad as the crazy 14-9th pay jump spectacle with one table stalling, but WSOP did a great job making the biggest tournament of the year completely unfair/joke. (Despite me warning them this exact scenario would occur weeks in advance) The people in charge don't understand or care about poker or integrity of the game as much as we do, they care about numbers, and they know the only people that complain about this stuff are showing up anyway! Part strategy too, as I had position on him, and wanted him to think of me in a certain way, so as always with EVERYTHING ANYONE says at the table while playing for millions of dollars taking it at 100% value is idiotic.
Having said that, he's a good looking poker superstar, and I am a poker fan boy. I played 500-1k Rail Heaven and 500-1k thunder dome years ago and following highstakes poker since I was ****ing 12 years old grinding prima freerolls on multiple accounts, lol. Then I did the party poker 50$ refer a friend bonus grinding steps but I'd always sweat the highstakes games (NL only ran for a while before PLO got popular) I knew he was a boss, I think I may have been confusing him with his brother that played a lot of 100-200nl though, idk. I am a genuine fanboy of steinberg though, and he was my only real competition at the table for a while. Well Cannuli was somewhat of a player, but in actuality just an aggressive button clicker. (I think, small sample, might have to see more hands) Funny enough, just being a fearless button clicker is enough to crush the main with how soft it is
Just reread that and thought it came off as hating on Daniel too much. Daniel is a beast. He won't make any big mistakes vs good players, and soooooo many weaker players will make massive mistakes vs him, and he plays fish exploitatively better than >90% 'elite' mtters/onliners. He played a hand vs cannuli that it just blew my mind that he got him to just punt like that. He clearly is an amazing live MTT player and crushes the main event. However, it is true the press making him out to be the superstar he is is downright hilarious with how fundamentally terribly he is theoretically in some spots. Clearly he is a spot in almost all SHRs now and any pro that argues that is just hustling.
Its hard to hate on Daniel though because I don't know if he's playing to make the FT for brand equity, if he cares about making the most money only (I doubt that while most of us grinders are) or if he truly is just playing for the win.
Either way AKo is a trivial fold pre in the spot he cold 4 vs Joe (idk if spoil) and if he thought Joe was out of line enough then its a shove. 4betting and slamming the table upset and tanking while getting shoved on is equivalent of saying "I don't understand whats going on."
w/e enough theory its hard to talk for days, its just Daniel loves to preach on and on about his small ball and how he does his thing and how you are one of those 3bettors, and he really just simply lacks the knowledge of basic theory to succeed in the highest stakes today, and I'd be lying if I didn't feel jealous that the general public thinks otherwise and I cringe more and more I hear about 'smallball' and how far above expectation he ran during his heater but w/e. If I was Daniel and lived his life I probably would act just like him too, the guy is ****ing blessed. Its not his fault! Poker MTTs are a never-ending cruel martingale for the lucky and the wishful thinking delusional masochists. Same with PLO. I wish I stayed in school. (jk)
Yes, Daniel, one of the common leaks of the younger generation during the poker boom was over aggression/xbetting and you felt superior to kids because of your experience you realized that almost half the field 3betting pre flop meant QQ+AK. You mopped up some of those idiots. Most of the clueless aggress are bust, and I'm sure a syndicate could be formed to crossbook Fedor or Dan Smith or whoever for millions upon millions in mtt format. WSOP is WSODNEGS. WE NEED NEW KIDPOKER. [SHOULDABEENME] FML
I'm super impressed with how DNEGS gets amateur players or weaker 'pros' even to punt to him. Thats daniel's bread and butter. He owned cannuli in a spot I don't even remember completely, just was watching closely and was positive negreanu was nutted and absolutely shocked he got cannuli to put in many chips. He might have double check raised or something on a dry flop, it was insane. I was expecting to see a set over set or something and then saw a snap fold and then thought to myself, "this is how daniel still makes money after all these years how do these idiots keep giving him money" Granted, I've probably seen every televised hand of Daniel's life, back from when he actually was a huge tell box fish to now where he is....well semi-solid Daniel. He has so much money and crushed it all from idiots for so many years and why would he care about poker anymore? Its tough.
Well, I got off topic, whatever. Daniel is a really good guy at heart and any resentment I had to him for stuff he said about my best friend ages ago has past. I devote my life to studying poker and grinding poker. Back when online poker was in the USA regs would be like 'aperfectgent u ever sleep?' Negreanu was my original poker hero. He was way ahead of his time and crushed people and was king of his era and the most successful tournament poker player of all time now right now. He grinded like hell and worked very hard to get there. It irks me that he still thinks he's the ****ing BEST and carries himself that way and so does the media. (And no I don't think I'm anywhere near the BEST at any poker variant, maybe like top 50-100 in 2 but w/e)
I understand its ratings and I will probably never have my validation. Anyone that hears someone is a poker pro will still ask how much you lose and it will never be viewed as a profession as a hedge fund manager or investment banker would (AS IT SHOULD BE) To quote a better writer than my bipolar stream of consciousness crazy self after Dnegs lost to one of the hardest working/studying poker players I've ever met, Dan Colman.
Nothing changes!
Its just the same old same old. Daniel will put someone on the most likely value combo and fold because fish don't bluff deep in the main and Norman will fellate him or a fish will take a nonsensical line and he'll say I'm confused and call and win. Is poker still casual? What % of ESPN2 audience think in ranges. It just is super depressing and I don't even think I'll be able to watch the coverage knowing daily fantasy sports in booming and poker still has a stigma. Imagine if Daniel/Phil/Antonio admitted the game has changed drastically from the poker boom and there was a segment contrasting Ike/Hellmuth breaking down a simple button/bb defense spot. The world is realizing autonomy is the future. The singularity is coming!!!! Gl with white magic and sourcing your positive energy guys! Great faces of poker!. **** sample size. **** charlatans.
Glad I entertained you
This might be a fun read toowonder what it looks like with what i wrote here or if its even cool, lol.
My story is well chronicled. Ironically, I was just a simple poker nerd for a while. From 12-17 years old at least mostly. I played video games first, was the #1 ranked madden player in the year vick was on the cover. I was obsessed with poker. I paid for my subaru after winning two 11 rebuys same day, would pay for everything just grinding stars. I was really smart so could take tests and pass high school for most part, and would pay people to do projects so I could graduate. Then, my senior year, I chopped the sunday million for more than first place. Seeing as I was under 18 my mother had no problem cashing out money for me because it meant she didn't have to support me and I could just pay for my own things! However, when I won that and wanted to officially go pro.
I never got along with my mother, and was very close to turning 18 so plan was to just hold it in account until then so i couldn't get hacked. (No RSA token back then but if you were logged in you couldn't be logged out so it was best thing) Unfortunately, people talk in high school. It was summer and I remember the phone call and voice distinctly in my head in that screechy disgustingly stereotypical jewish mother voice. I was at my buddies pool, planning out on summer houses for the summer., senior slide.
"HOW MUCH MONEY DID YOU WIN LAST SUNDAY JUSTIN? GET HOME NOW"
I had a younger brother who was a freshman on the tennis team. A friend of a friend basically saw my mother, nice kid, he actually plays poker! He was like hey Mrs. Schwartz! Congratulations! She didn't know what was going on. Obviously, it would be irrational to hold a grudge or hate him for what he did but I do love to joke/give him **** for it whenever I see him like THANKS A LOT MAN! WAY TO GO. :X
I threw my phone on the floor. She took the money to protect me from myself!. I had never even smoked pot. I drank on weekends occasionally **** normal high school stuff nothing bad really. I was with enough money on me to bail me out...as I just couldn't live at my mother's house, but she held my money hostage. That was a fun 2 days in jail! Disorderly Conduct only charge because a window was broken/a souvenir maybe. She was hysterical I do my best to be calm. Normally, I'd be in and out with a 50$ ticket or PTA or something, but considering my mother/living situation was reason I was in jail, I had to spend the weekend. They fed me mcdonalds.
Judge said no computer for me (lol like I listened to that) as soon as I got back and signed on my computer my mother said I was violating a judges order and was being held in contempt of court. I told her to call and get me arrested....
I also had mandatory gamblers anonymous meetings assigned. the judge was huge prick. Told me I was lucky I didn't have an ankle bracelet. Mandatory GA LMAO. I had never even made a sports bet or done anything but grind poker.
Fun fact, judge was corrupt, literally. Lost his judgeship couple years later. Murica. Not quite cash4kids, but lol. **** this country.
Anyways, I would get kicked out of meeting after meeting because I wouldn't admit I was a gambling addict while talking to the same party poker losers who paid for the car I used to grind there and the 200k sitting in my mothers bank account.
Favorite quote that sticks with me to this day: Random Partypoker degen: "The odds appear to be there, but they aren't really there."
Wish I remembered how tact my response if any was to that. They genuinely wanted to help and thought I was a lost soul so think/hope I was nice, but I was more of a prick and arrogant/closed minded back then unfortunately, lol.
Finally ended back in court and same scumbag judge told me I could go to juvenile detention or go to college. (My mother always wanted me to go to college you know, her dream was a nice jewish girl for me. She said there probably was a blind one out there for me after she gave up her calling me gay phase)
Chose college obv (Muhlenberg Mules lol), turned 18, dropped out, ended up on friends couch at UCONN with nothing, he lent me money for laptop, had a bottle of vodka and some pizza rolls, all good though think I was betting 50k on the Super Bowl next year
poker was easy back then.Not sure when after that I ended up buying a house at the actual worst time right before it collapsed, combined with me and a lot of my friends getting addicted to oxycodone, but ya run bad. I brushed my teeth almost obsessively when they started hurting but it was all for nought basically. FW people would know I'd bring a 2l of diet coke with me when I grinded
The acidic diet soda and me drinking >2l of it a day as well as the dry mouth opiates caused when you slept means my teeth just rotted. That and terrible social anxiety/depression at a certain point with black friday after and money issues I had a root canal appointment and just couldn't bring myself to go. When you constantly have suicide on your mind, your teeth don't really fit high on priority list of problems to fix. Having said that, if I made nov 9, I would have bought myself a new mouth. If I made next pay jump, it would have been close, idk, don't wanna exaggerate and lie completely but w/e, probably wouldn't have anyway tbh. Nah, I am terribly depressed for a number of reasons. I go weeks without eating, and think I left my room 3 times since I got back from california for the bike WPT. I'm sure you can imagine I've dealt with a lot of tooth pain so its understandable I [ab]use[d] various pain killers.
Don't know how Kelly got involved but she is really cool. I think she plays very well too. If I thought I had a >0% chance of wooing her I would have got a hair cut/bought conditioner/bought a gold grill
She crushes life, and I do the opposite of crushing life, so ya.... She and Jason Koon and Ben Tollerene are too perfect for me to fathom. I can't wait to find out what their deep dark secret is. Nobody could be that perfect. micropenis? serial killer? Just has to be something. Poker world has some interesting diverse group of people!ya would take 20-30k probably to fix em. I wouldn't wanna half ass it. Doubt I live long enough to ever want to do it though. A lot of people think its drug use that causes the teeth being ****ed up its just a myth though. Its just the stereotype being accurate. Just like fat/greasy haired people you'd expect to smell, people that do drugs are more likely to not take care of their teeth. Its not the drugs themselves, except for the dry mouth. I'm not a doctor but reasons for my teeth probably like (60% diet coke addiction 20% drug use 10% poor dental care/brushing 5% genetics 5% social anxiety/bipolar etc.
Many people enjoy sitting next to me and find me entertaining. I don't want to misquote her, but Kelly Minkin and another female said they had their favorite poker experience at the WSOP playing with me deep in the millionaire maker this year. Once again though, I don't blame you by judging a book by its cover. In poker, its what I do all the time. Going to respond to a 3bet way differently first hand at table based on age, race, gender, etc. and idk how espn edits me.
Girls actually aren't completely repulsed with me! (No I don't pay and never have paid for sex don't even have self-confidence for a massage at the table!) A half-black/latina girl sort of forced herself to move in with me during the main event and told everyone she was my personal assistant. Was funny seeing people comment on that. Was sort of strange, and seeing as I was playing poker almost every hour of every day its not like I could kick her out, and not like I could risk some falling out and me getting arrested because she prob has meth or would cry rape or something so had to just play it cool.
Very strange experience. She didn't understand poker either, or had clue about how much $ I could have won or how tourneys work etc. During the off day of the main event, the personal assistant I met on reddit and was paying just small $ to grab me shake shack/do laundry whatnot. It makes most economic sense in vegas if you don't have a car because PA costs less than taxi costs doing it yourself and you work more so its something you should really do even when broke. He gets in screaming match with her and says he's taking her to airport. He was bringing me venetian desert. (I'm a fat **** god damn venetian desert is so damn good that butter cake I wish they delivered or I could rationalize paying a PA when I'm not playing poker 12+hours a day. He leaves, she stays. I try to calm things down, but then my PA tilt books a flight to NY....so she assumes PA duty in her head....i guess.
I just sort of write it off figure I'll worry about it later, and try to play it cool....I mean I bring my iPad with me when I play so worst case scenario is she steals my macbook. Don't think I gave her a key either I'm pretty sure she would just run around and text me dinner/end of day.
She doesn't understand poker at all, or how serious going deep in main is, and obv make it seem like I have no money maybe order room service once or twice. Room wasn't bad. Think maybe she was just sort of homeless or her sugar daddy in Oregon or something kicked her out/fight with my friend no idea/focused on poker. The whole thing was so absurd lol, a complete stranger cute girl moved in with me during the main event. I was sort of friends with my PA and really only care about poker but obviously I still have sex drive and well she opted to sleep in the same bed as me despite a fine guest bed next but I was clear to her we were just friends...but she'd like change and walk around naked/change and lol i just am writing it out laughing at how absurd it was. Enough crazy in my life anyway but lol at that happening to me during my main event run. God, I could elaborate so much more/might/pics if I ever write a memoir/suicide note but woulda been 10x cooler if I ****ing won instead. **** YOU ISUXATPOKERBAD.
I thought about trying to kick her out, but figured chance of arrest or drama couldn't risk the equity of my seat.....and then one night....i got wokbren up a little after i dozed off at 2 or 3 am.....and she brought a couple up to the room. now.....I hadn't had much social interaction with her despite just the random bs/talking about life winding down at end of the poker days during the WSOP. She would go out clubbing a lot I think, idk, memory a little weird, I just remember this scenario distinctively because it was when I realized she was a little nuts, lol.
I knew that I was going to be living in Vegas, and had no friends in Vegas. This girl was just on vacation in her head, or maybe testing me as a suitable mate and I failed (thank god) lol (although I really wish I could say I ****ed a black girl for my street cred sadly) My mind was completely focused on poker the entire time so whatever bs she was saying while giving me my panda express or, actually she didn't even do laundry, lol, just went in one ear out the other.
Anyways, I asked the new girl her number...and she FLIPPED OUT started screaming really loud at the girl basically all walter white stay off my territory kicked both of em out immediately. I was flabbergasted, and tired, and went to bed 30 min later, but had to be like, just summarizing lol memory hazy all i care about is poker and staying out of trouble.....but i didn't invite this girl into my room in first place its crazy spots i get myself into omg.
"we are just friends.........you are on vacation and i'm working so its cool but wtf is that why couldn't i get her # ?"I was picking words in like the least confrontational way because I'm paranoid of getting carter gilled its the main event ! But she thinks I could just cash out and not go to work tomorrow or something lol. I told her if I made final 9 (thru last day) I'd get her a 300$ purse or something I think she wanted because she was my good luck charm one day, lol, learn from past to always be broke with girls.
Anyways she began to tell me something about chemistry between us or asked if I felt anything idk. Goddamn its funny I wonder if I would have been able to play that game if I wasn't completely focused on the main. I'm just recollecting it now, and on a typing rant because I just got on my keyboard for first time in a week due to even more personal drama/crazy depression.
How did I go on this rant. sucks i was too depressed to even leave room or do anything for many weeks after main even though she wanted me to/even mentioned helping me find a cheap place to fix my teeth. oh well, theres a lot more to that after the main that ill save for another time.
Awww, get set over set for the biggest equity pot in my life and he compliments my hygiene. You are a ambassador brother. Enjoy the money, you will do better stuff with it than I would.
Do you remember what I told you bro? If you dress up for the FT you are going to get doomswitched by either my ghost spirit or my essence if I'm still alive. #sweatpants #flipflops
haha, I will give people the respect to not talk during big hands I'm not involved in if I respect them and if I like them usually. I don't always do it though. There is no rule against it and if I see it really bothers people I will probably be more likely to do it. If they ask nicely and I don't think they are a scumbag, I comply. I actually did do that for Cannuli when he asked me. Negreanu/others can verify. Otherwise, I'll get my 15 mins of fame
. The whole WSOP ME is special because sooooooo many pros like Dnegs flirt with the ethical line of talking/not talking influencing action in multiway pots or with whatever dumb rules there are. Dnegs got mad at me when I said something in middle of hand vs a guy, "how strong if he shoved now" and he just gave me such a serious angry tone." I found it absurd because dnegs does stuff similar to that in multiway pots all the time (granted not at this stage in a big tourney so its different and he's definitely right and I'm slightly in the wrong) However, the fish was 100% folding regardless and it didn't influence action and if it did I'd understand a TD penalty but its all a joke anyway and anyone with a brain can see how unfair a lot of the rulings are by the TDs. (Like Robbie reading the flop......completely absurd like a lot of things that go on.)
When I play cash games, I will always stfu if others are in a big pot unless I hate both players in it. Tourneys are different, and part of the strategy is, people can't choose who they sit with. You use it to be buddy buddy and they sort of passively collude/softplay (DNEGS Shtick) Or you can get people to hate you so much they gun after you and punt stacks trying just to get u to be quiet. And I get people to punt stacks lol.
Dnegs is wrong. The announcer is way out of line often. Why should I be at a strategic disadvantage because I'm at the feature table when the feature table isn't random? WSOP doesn't care about integrity of game, so what. I dealt with it. But I'd love for you to try to explain to me how you can think this doesn't blatantly effect the integrity of the tournament.
Uppers were never my thing although I don't mind a good ol' crack binge every once in a while holla at yo boy shaniac. My DOC when I was a rich young'n was oxycodone! Goddamn that feeling! How bad could it be either if doctors prescribe it! About 80%+ of the people that started there that I knew ended up thieving/tricking to support heroin habits when price of pills went up because DEA cracked down on the pill mills.
Man, I coulda given some real stories to put merson's story to shame
Think I was happier a lot of time when I was homeless rolling around the hood in my uninsured 6months up for repo acura
I got arrested when I was homeless the very first night I got a cheap hotel room and split it with scumbags because it gets cold in winter. Split it with some scumbag kids to save money. They leave room at 4am to do whatever, but forget phone. I call the kid tell him he left phone. They come back. (cops scouting em entire time) They see me hand dude phone. (think its a hand to hand)
Cops pull em over and they were smoking crack or something stupid and they were asked where they come from just tell us. They snitched! For nothing! They knew I wasn't a drug dealer and just a broke **** wtf did they think they would gain? Anyways, scumbag pigs knock on my door, and I open it an inch. Next thing I know I am pinned to my bed by 4 pigs guns blazing screaming at me yelling at me not to flush the toilet wtf lol. No clue exactly what they found because they sort of combined it with the other kids suitcase that was still there so I don't know how they decided what, probably just lied. It couldn't have been much because I didn't know I had anything on me, lol. A single line of cocaine, single pill of oxy/xanax, single bag of dope/crack its all possession of narcotic and all a felony regardless the amount. Can be trace amounts.
I still remember the smug look on that pigs face when I asked him how he found the stuff in my room while in jail filling out some form. He smiled and told me straight to my face that I consented to the search. I'm not a violent person and often look for ways to forgive anyone and anything and always try to put myself in that persons shoes. I don't think I can have any sympathy for that disgusting person. If punishment they have for possession is fair, then I think a punishment similar to the lolita slave toy creepypasta would be fair for lying cops who get enjoyment out of of ruining people's lives who are doing absolutely nothing negative to society. [dont google that if you don't know it/have weak stomach/don't believe in torture] Thats personal/kind of petty but who knows how many other things he's lied about to arrest people? The cash4kids guy deserves that punishment for sure, lol at those sentences compared to drug pos. nuts!
Now we are talking about stereotypes again. They exist because they are real. In my sample size about 15% of cops are good people/great people in fact. You can tell they genuinely are trying to help. The other 85% of my experiences have been with various levels of terrible people.
Now, when its a bull**** obvious illegal search they usually just tell people to go to drug education program and finish it and they throw it away. I told them I'd like to represent myself, and there is 0% I'd do a drug education program and I'd rather do jail time and I'd plead guilty to whatever, just want to move on and get the **** out of CT.
They tell me that I should just agree to do the drug education program even if I wasn't going to do it because if I plead guilty then the punishment would be drug education program and probation. I said sure, but I'm not agreeing to any probation or drug education program, but you can see me in a year.
Come back in a year and say same thing. Its a dumb stalemate. They aren't going to run a trial for simple drug possession. They aren't going to send me to jail for a completely bogus case where they got almost nothing. And I refuse to do the program because I don't give a **** if I'm a felon. If anything, it probably is best for me because now I can't buy a gun to kill myself. Could get it expunged in 5 years too pretty easily if I wanted to/am alive/paid a lawyer. I finally got a prosecutor that offered me no probation, no program, and just a suspended sentence and the entire court room laughed at me as I left while I was completely ecstatic knowing I could play the WSOP! AND I ALMOST WON!
They knew I could have got off easily if I did the program but I refused to enter that circle. http://www.jud2.ct.gov/crdockets/Cas...f-15e60a656ec7
2.5 years of bull****. alone in a hotel room by foxwoods. joke country.
IMO the idea of drug possession being a crime let alone a felony is absolutely absurd and it disgusts me to live in such a society that I could technically be put in a cage for 5 years because of something I choose to put in my body while alone in my own domicile with no effect on anyone else. THE LAND OF THE FREE. Also, the substances are scientifically proven to be safer than cigarettes and it is pretty much fact thanks to Portugal that decriminalizing drugs and treating it as a health issue rather than a criminal one is more effective. That doesn't matter in the USA though, only money matters. Who needs logic and science when you have lobbyists
Lot of my close friends wonder why I have to keep changing my numbers/have so many numbers!
They've never had the pleasure of newyork narcotics officers threatening you for convincing your gf not to snitch/stop being a CI for her own safety (swear this guy thought he was denzel in training day the **** he was saying and yes I had number verified called dept myself)
.....or a girl doing whipits in your rental car driving over a median because the guy she was cheating on was figuring it out so her response was to scratch her face drawing blood and claim I kidnapped her. I almost got bashed by a baseball bat that night, anyone know GTO strat on fighting someone with a baseball bat? Charge quick protect head hope you just take a glancing shot to an arm and then bring em to ground is your only shot right? Adrenaline should let you still pound away with a shattered arm or whatever, right. Was insanely close to finding out.
Funny enough, recently, a nearly exact situation happened to me which ended with my right ring finger nearly getting bit off by an angry girl.
TL;DR of Entire Post Even if toothless and unkempt can still talk to girls and my life would be immeasurably better if I didn't buy out of my virginity prop bet http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/34...thmunk-147782/.
I have no idea what I wrote. I woke up at 3pm yesterday and was in an unusually terrible mood and finally bought a keyboard so I could concoct some sort of memoirs or suicide note. Its complicated. I'm bored. I am probably going to die due to poor health in <5 years anyway. Why do we let cats and dogs be put down but not people. If I can leave my room two straight days to get a mcdonalds iced coffee I consider myself on an upswing in mental health. I talked to my dad today. He has been really helpful to me after black friday and am grateful for that I guess but sort of wish I just joined some of the other grinders that have suicided since black friday because....man....its just a ****ing joke.
I wish I understood myself or knew what was right. If I thought a shrink would help, I'd go to shrink #12 or whatever. If I thought a rehab would help, I'd go. Rehabs are so counterintuitive. I like to quote the line in blow "I came in prison with a bachelor in marijuana, and left with a doctorate in cocaine" In my experience, I've seen about <5% people get better after a rehab stint, and >95% just get deeper in the game, meet more ****ed up people, and the circle gets deeper and deeper. Know dozens of people just going in and out for years in a cycle of misery. I wonder if I didn't have a unique job if I would be trapped in the same bs.
Its ******ed how people treat addiction and I've seen it ruin so many people that I partially enabled and many people think I'm the actual devil and would want me dead and I'd tell them to pull the trigger.
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/29...ammer-1406093/
pretty sure he did his first oxy at my house. his story......i've seen happen.....dozens of times. hope i didn't give it to him, don't remember.
when u abuse drugs long enough your body just will never produce seratonin (happy chemical) again the same way. your just ****ed for life.
some people are so weak and can't even overcome the physical withdrawals. that is a couple days of terrible pain. the boredom, depression, Post-acute withdrawal symptoms, are what gets people.
the stats are just grim, and people are unscientific (12 steps programs are complete bull**** and a cancer to society and have probably ruined tons more lives than they saved;they don't keep track of stats for a reason)
here is where someone says omg no this person did 12 steps and was at corner of death and it saved them completely! YES! IT WORKS FOR LIKE 8% or <15% OF PEOPLE! You have to be a special type of stupid for the 12 steps to work for you. Find your higher power and say you are powerless can make things worse for people whose underlying cause of their addiction is self-esteem self-image issues.
ya, tell someone who already feels worthless that they are powerless and that a higher power has their back. ya, i'm super happy for people its helped, but I've had people I love dearly be abandoned by their entire family because the ******ed AA program tells them "they have to hit rock bottom before you can help them or your enabling"
The analogies if you think about it are mindbending. Human brain is insanely complex probably most complex thing in universe we don't understand now. Mental health should be treated just like physical health...yet see people who don't work with 12 steps be abandoned by everyone and then just end up back on streets and there is not much help you can do to a sick junkie even if you love them.
Sorry doc, gotta let the cancer get to near death before we start the chemo!
Or even worse, with relapses. Families treat relapses as square one! ITS ****ING ******ED. The whole "Keeping your sober date" is idiotic and sets you up for failure. well, obviously it wasn't done by a doctor. The main thing used to treat an epidemic in this country, is literally just bull**** written by joe blow. Look it up. I **** you not. OH NO NOW I GOT A NEW DATE.
Bill W, not a doctor, wrote the basis of all rehab (court mandated too, experienced it multiple times) over 80 years ago. It hasn't changed.
Imagine if we treated other health problems with 80 year old methods written by some hack? DARE MAN! Abstinence! Just tell kids no sex/drugs and if they do find god. America lives in the ****ing stone ages.
"Forgiving yourself" and "Living in the present" are counter-intuitive to "keeping dates"
I knew a kid who was using 40 minutes before LEADING a narcotics anonymous meeting. Social pressure to keep your date. Just creating a new addiction/family works for some weak people but can cripple people that fail or have low self-esteem..
Say you beat cancer and its in remission woot family celebrates! Get checked every year of course, oh 2 years later a small lump comes back, minor surgery it goes away you recover. That happens sometimes.....
With drugs, if you relapse, YOU LOSE YOUR DATE! BACK TO REHAB! BACK TO 0! 0 HELP 0 SUPPORT! YOU NEED TO FIND GOD! PRAY!
I try to be as religiously tolerant as they come, I don't even consider myself atheist anymore and just say I hope we are part of something much bigger than even the universe and the universe is just some video game a kid is playing or something, but omg when people are sick and selling themselves on the cold in the streets and people who supposedly care about you are talking about god, the stupidity is overwhelming. And it is ingrained in the 12 steps. Its repulsive. And religion is America! I'd lay extreme odds their is no god but can't say 100% so does 99.99999999999% mean atheist?
. WTF poker can I do? I still work but lol the jump from 14-9th in main i got ****ing mckeehened out of is bigger than first place of almost any tourney I can play. Whats the point? Its not like I'm suicidal, I'm not. I was for a bit today, but chilled. Its just, the amount of money, hours of work, stress just to fix my teeth/body/not even counting other stuff I'm not sharing here but w/e. I've talked to rational poker players in confidence about all my problems and some of them agree suicide would be perfectly rational response. Realistically speaking though, I just can't. I can't abandon the few people I actually care about or do that to them unfortunately. I wish I could convince them that life/death is arbitrary and not even be upset if I die just remember good times and laugh.
Its a very thin line between "Life is short, cherish it" and "Life is short, whats the point?"
quoted entire thing in case anyone else hasn't seen it
06-06-2016
, 11:02 PM
10-05-2016
, 09:54 AM
Quote:
Since ya'll got so much to say about me, I haven't seen much of the telecasts yet, idk if I will, and idk how they will edit me, I might as well throw in my 2 cents. I've been around here forever and you can call me many things I have thick skin and can take it and probably feel even worse about myself but most can say that I'm not a bull****ter. Anyways, idk if I'll ever recover from the pain that you all will witness whenever my bustout occurs, but idc. I'm glad I had some fun/good run/and have a mild platform to rant a bit. Maybe ESPN will show some. Really wish I won though for the story book, "takes a bogus felony charge so he can go to WSOP, wins main event" cinderella story welcome to my life. Mods will probably delete it for the other bs I rant about but I think its all relevant and want it all out there if you want to hear from me and the stuff ESPN edits. Just if you delete any of it, delete it all or keep it all, all I ask.
AZMountainHiker is correct. It isn't presumptuous to assume my odor would be foul based on my appearance. I am not the most hygienic person in the world, but in the population subset of WSOP ME players I probably am in the top 10 percentile in terms of bodily odor/hygeine as I shower/brush teeth every morning and even showered during my dinner break too when I was on the TV table the last 2 days as it got hot/sweaty.To give me **** for my hygiene would be silly.
In the rare times I do care about my appearance, I would buy conditioner that the hotel didn't provide and/or cut my hair so it doesn't appear to be greasy and unkempt.
Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. They are true. An overweight, toothless, drug addict, with unkempt hair is much more likely to have bad body odor than someone that looks like DNEGS. I try my best not to smell when I'm in public usually though
I enjoy it and it is part of my strategy. Very few of the people at the table are as used to playing for insanely high stakes as much as I have, so it makes people make mistakes.
Negreanu's shtick is to constantly talk to people and play buddy buddy and joke about his nittiness and how he's Mr. Cold 4! Do you think that he is genuine? Lmao, just because one table demeanor is 'friendly' and the other is 'antagonizing' they both are accomplishing the same goals....to exploit your image/fish for monetary gain.
Personally, I find Dnegs shtick to be much more annoying/unbearable than the antagonizing types (guess you can say hellmuth, but he's pretty much delusional so its hard to categorize him. Or myself.
You all notice that Negreanu basically gave up his table talking bs when I arrived? I don't know how edited it is, I haven't watched the coverage yet and might not ever but anyways my point that all talk and actions at table are purely strategic and judging people for it is irrational. Its just a persona, an act. I'm better at it than Dnegs too [too bad going to have to wait 800 years to reach the long run and run at expectation] Hope DDL's friends don't consider him bill the butcher permanently after method acting! Everything any pro says or does at a poker table can and should be considered an act.
Many elite athletes act completely differently on the court (at work) and in real life and its accepted by people, but not for poker for some reason. If people can't discern 'trash talk' or whatever goes down when you are working and battling for life changing from one's personality in real life, I don't know what to say. I'd include examples but worried I might spoil because think they aren't at final 2 tables yet and haven't watched.
I am 100% in the right here, and if Negreanu had made the request then it would have been handled differently. Just example number 901249012 of WSOP incompetence and showing favorability and complete incompetence.
Table draws are random. However, feature tables aren't random. Because I am a character I am much more likely to be at a feature table. (and I was.) If one table had an auto shuffler, and the other table didn't, then both tables play without an auto shuffler. This should be same with announcing. Its completely unfair that because I am giving ESPN more material, my edge should be slightly hurt, because I can't completely conceal my knowledge of the information on the board while in position on the river.
It really isn't even close. I would have complained more if I thought there was any chance the WSOP would listen/show logic, but they are completely incompetent and unfair. Robbie (the announcer) is way out of line in a lot of his announcing. Other players that you guys would actually respect have said so many times. Paging Ike Haxton! Please confirm I'm not just a crazy munk. Now, obviously my request would be insane/wrong if we were the last table left. But with many tables left and only one being announced, and me having a much higher likelihood of being at the announced table (not random) is the definition of unfair play and I was cheated. Im pretty sure even daniel can understand that. Obviously, very little effect, and not nearly as bad as the crazy 14-9th pay jump spectacle with one table stalling, but WSOP did a great job making the biggest tournament of the year completely unfair/joke. (Despite me warning them this exact scenario would occur weeks in advance) The people in charge don't understand or care about poker or integrity of the game as much as we do, they care about numbers, and they know the only people that complain about this stuff are showing up anyway!
Part strategy too, as I had position on him, and wanted him to think of me in a certain way, so as always with EVERYTHING ANYONE says at the table while playing for millions of dollars taking it at 100% value is idiotic.
Having said that, he's a good looking poker superstar, and I am a poker fan boy. I played 500-1k Rail Heaven and 500-1k thunder dome years ago and following highstakes poker since I was ****ing 12 years old grinding prima freerolls on multiple accounts, lol. Then I did the party poker 50$ refer a friend bonus grinding steps but I'd always sweat the highstakes games (NL only ran for a while before PLO got popular) I knew he was a boss, I think I may have been confusing him with his brother that played a lot of 100-200nl though, idk. I am a genuine fanboy of steinberg though, and he was my only real competition at the table for a while. Well Cannuli was somewhat of a player, but in actuality just an aggressive button clicker. (I think, small sample, might have to see more hands) Funny enough, just being a fearless button clicker is enough to crush the main with how soft it is
Just reread that and thought it came off as hating on Daniel too much. Daniel is a beast. He won't make any big mistakes vs good players, and soooooo many weaker players will make massive mistakes vs him, and he plays fish exploitatively better than >90% 'elite' mtters/onliners. He played a hand vs cannuli that it just blew my mind that he got him to just punt like that. He clearly is an amazing live MTT player and crushes the main event. However, it is true the press making him out to be the superstar he is is downright hilarious with how fundamentally terribly he is theoretically in some spots. Clearly he is a spot in almost all SHRs now and any pro that argues that is just hustling.
Its hard to hate on Daniel though because I don't know if he's playing to make the FT for brand equity, if he cares about making the most money only (I doubt that while most of us grinders are) or if he truly is just playing for the win.
Either way AKo is a trivial fold pre in the spot he cold 4 vs Joe (idk if spoil) and if he thought Joe was out of line enough then its a shove. 4betting and slamming the table upset and tanking while getting shoved on is equivalent of saying "I don't understand whats going on."
w/e enough theory its hard to talk for days, its just Daniel loves to preach on and on about his small ball and how he does his thing and how you are one of those 3bettors, and he really just simply lacks the knowledge of basic theory to succeed in the highest stakes today, and I'd be lying if I didn't feel jealous that the general public thinks otherwise and I cringe more and more I hear about 'smallball' and how far above expectation he ran during his heater but w/e. If I was Daniel and lived his life I probably would act just like him too, the guy is ****ing blessed. Its not his fault! Poker MTTs are a never-ending cruel martingale for the lucky and the wishful thinking delusional masochists. Same with PLO. I wish I stayed in school. (jk)
Yes, Daniel, one of the common leaks of the younger generation during the poker boom was over aggression/xbetting and you felt superior to kids because of your experience you realized that almost half the field 3betting pre flop meant QQ+AK. You mopped up some of those idiots. Most of the clueless aggress are bust, and I'm sure a syndicate could be formed to crossbook Fedor or Dan Smith or whoever for millions upon millions in mtt format. WSOP is WSODNEGS. WE NEED NEW KIDPOKER. [SHOULDABEENME] FML
I'm super impressed with how DNEGS gets amateur players or weaker 'pros' even to punt to him. Thats daniel's bread and butter. He owned cannuli in a spot I don't even remember completely, just was watching closely and was positive negreanu was nutted and absolutely shocked he got cannuli to put in many chips. He might have double check raised or something on a dry flop, it was insane. I was expecting to see a set over set or something and then saw a snap fold and then thought to myself, "this is how daniel still makes money after all these years how do these idiots keep giving him money" Granted, I've probably seen every televised hand of Daniel's life, back from when he actually was a huge tell box fish to now where he is....well semi-solid Daniel. He has so much money and crushed it all from idiots for so many years and why would he care about poker anymore? Its tough.
Well, I got off topic, whatever. Daniel is a really good guy at heart and any resentment I had to him for stuff he said about my best friend ages ago has past. I devote my life to studying poker and grinding poker. Back when online poker was in the USA regs would be like 'aperfectgent u ever sleep?' Negreanu was my original poker hero. He was way ahead of his time and crushed people and was king of his era and the most successful tournament poker player of all time now right now. He grinded like hell and worked very hard to get there. It irks me that he still thinks he's the ****ing BEST and carries himself that way and so does the media. (And no I don't think I'm anywhere near the BEST at any poker variant, maybe like top 50-100 in 2 but w/e)
I understand its ratings and I will probably never have my validation. Anyone that hears someone is a poker pro will still ask how much you lose and it will never be viewed as a profession as a hedge fund manager or investment banker would (AS IT SHOULD BE) To quote a better writer than my bipolar stream of consciousness crazy self after Dnegs lost to one of the hardest working/studying poker players I've ever met, Dan Colman.
Nothing changes!
Its just the same old same old. Daniel will put someone on the most likely value combo and fold because fish don't bluff deep in the main and Norman will fellate him or a fish will take a nonsensical line and he'll say I'm confused and call and win. Is poker still casual? What % of ESPN2 audience think in ranges. It just is super depressing and I don't even think I'll be able to watch the coverage knowing daily fantasy sports in booming and poker still has a stigma. Imagine if Daniel/Phil/Antonio admitted the game has changed drastically from the poker boom and there was a segment contrasting Ike/Hellmuth breaking down a simple button/bb defense spot. The world is realizing autonomy is the future. The singularity is coming!!!! Gl with white magic and sourcing your positive energy guys! Great faces of poker!. **** sample size. **** charlatans.
Glad I entertained you This might be a fun read too
wonder what it looks like with what i wrote here or if its even cool, lol.
My story is well chronicled. Ironically, I was just a simple poker nerd for a while. From 12-17 years old at least mostly. I played video games first, was the #1 ranked madden player in the year vick was on the cover. I was obsessed with poker. I paid for my subaru after winning two 11 rebuys same day, would pay for everything just grinding stars. I was really smart so could take tests and pass high school for most part, and would pay people to do projects so I could graduate. Then, my senior year, I chopped the sunday million for more than first place. Seeing as I was under 18 my mother had no problem cashing out money for me because it meant she didn't have to support me and I could just pay for my own things! However, when I won that and wanted to officially go pro.
I never got along with my mother, and was very close to turning 18 so plan was to just hold it in account until then so i couldn't get hacked. (No RSA token back then but if you were logged in you couldn't be logged out so it was best thing) Unfortunately, people talk in high school. It was summer and I remember the phone call and voice distinctly in my head in that screechy disgustingly stereotypical jewish mother voice. I was at my buddies pool, planning out on summer houses for the summer., senior slide.
"HOW MUCH MONEY DID YOU WIN LAST SUNDAY JUSTIN? GET HOME NOW"
I had a younger brother who was a freshman on the tennis team. A friend of a friend basically saw my mother, nice kid, he actually plays poker! He was like hey Mrs. Schwartz! Congratulations! She didn't know what was going on. Obviously, it would be irrational to hold a grudge or hate him for what he did but I do love to joke/give him **** for it whenever I see him like THANKS A LOT MAN! WAY TO GO. :X
I threw my phone on the floor. She took the money to protect me from myself!. I had never even smoked pot. I drank on weekends occasionally **** normal high school stuff nothing bad really. I was with enough money on me to bail me out...as I just couldn't live at my mother's house, but she held my money hostage. That was a fun 2 days in jail! Disorderly Conduct only charge because a window was broken/a souvenir maybe. She was hysterical I do my best to be calm. Normally, I'd be in and out with a 50$ ticket or PTA or something, but considering my mother/living situation was reason I was in jail, I had to spend the weekend. They fed me mcdonalds.
Judge said no computer for me (lol like I listened to that) as soon as I got back and signed on my computer my mother said I was violating a judges order and was being held in contempt of court. I told her to call and get me arrested....
I also had mandatory gamblers anonymous meetings assigned. the judge was huge prick. Told me I was lucky I didn't have an ankle bracelet. Mandatory GA LMAO. I had never even made a sports bet or done anything but grind poker.
Fun fact, judge was corrupt, literally. Lost his judgeship couple years later. Murica. Not quite cash4kids, but lol. **** this country.
Anyways, I would get kicked out of meeting after meeting because I wouldn't admit I was a gambling addict while talking to the same party poker losers who paid for the car I used to grind there and the 200k sitting in my mothers bank account.
Favorite quote that sticks with me to this day: Random Partypoker degen: "The odds appear to be there, but they aren't really there."
Wish I remembered how tact my response if any was to that. They genuinely wanted to help and thought I was a lost soul so think/hope I was nice, but I was more of a prick and arrogant/closed minded back then unfortunately, lol.
Finally ended back in court and same scumbag judge told me I could go to juvenile detention or go to college. (My mother always wanted me to go to college you know, her dream was a nice jewish girl for me. She said there probably was a blind one out there for me after she gave up her calling me gay phase)
Chose college obv (Muhlenberg Mules lol), turned 18, dropped out, ended up on friends couch at UCONN with nothing, he lent me money for laptop, had a bottle of vodka and some pizza rolls, all good though think I was betting 50k on the Super Bowl next year poker was easy back then.
Not sure when after that I ended up buying a house at the actual worst time right before it collapsed, combined with me and a lot of my friends getting addicted to oxycodone, but ya run bad. I brushed my teeth almost obsessively when they started hurting but it was all for nought basically. FW people would know I'd bring a 2l of diet coke with me when I grinded The acidic diet soda and me drinking >2l of it a day as well as the dry mouth opiates caused when you slept means my teeth just rotted. That and terrible social anxiety/depression at a certain point with black friday after and money issues I had a root canal appointment and just couldn't bring myself to go. When you constantly have suicide on your mind, your teeth don't really fit high on priority list of problems to fix. Having said that, if I made nov 9, I would have bought myself a new mouth. If I made next pay jump, it would have been close, idk, don't wanna exaggerate and lie completely but w/e, probably wouldn't have anyway tbh.
Nah, I am terribly depressed for a number of reasons. I go weeks without eating, and think I left my room 3 times since I got back from california for the bike WPT. I'm sure you can imagine I've dealt with a lot of tooth pain so its understandable I [ab]use[d] various pain killers.
Don't know how Kelly got involved but she is really cool. I think she plays very well too. If I thought I had a >0% chance of wooing her I would have got a hair cut/bought conditioner/bought a gold grill She crushes life, and I do the opposite of crushing life, so ya.... She and Jason Koon and Ben Tollerene are too perfect for me to fathom. I can't wait to find out what their deep dark secret is. Nobody could be that perfect. micropenis? serial killer? Just has to be something. Poker world has some interesting diverse group of people!
ya would take 20-30k probably to fix em. I wouldn't wanna half ass it. Doubt I live long enough to ever want to do it though. A lot of people think its drug use that causes the teeth being ****ed up its just a myth though. Its just the stereotype being accurate. Just like fat/greasy haired people you'd expect to smell, people that do drugs are more likely to not take care of their teeth. Its not the drugs themselves, except for the dry mouth. I'm not a doctor but reasons for my teeth probably like (60% diet coke addiction 20% drug use 10% poor dental care/brushing 5% genetics 5% social anxiety/bipolar etc.
Many people enjoy sitting next to me and find me entertaining. I don't want to misquote her, but Kelly Minkin and another female said they had their favorite poker experience at the WSOP playing with me deep in the millionaire maker this year. Once again though, I don't blame you by judging a book by its cover. In poker, its what I do all the time. Going to respond to a 3bet way differently first hand at table based on age, race, gender, etc. and idk how espn edits me.
Girls actually aren't completely repulsed with me! (No I don't pay and never have paid for sex don't even have self-confidence for a massage at the table!) A half-black/latina girl sort of forced herself to move in with me during the main event and told everyone she was my personal assistant. Was funny seeing people comment on that. Was sort of strange, and seeing as I was playing poker almost every hour of every day its not like I could kick her out, and not like I could risk some falling out and me getting arrested because she prob has meth or would cry rape or something so had to just play it cool.
Very strange experience. She didn't understand poker either, or had clue about how much $ I could have won or how tourneys work etc. During the off day of the main event, the personal assistant I met on reddit and was paying just small $ to grab me shake shack/do laundry whatnot. It makes most economic sense in vegas if you don't have a car because PA costs less than taxi costs doing it yourself and you work more so its something you should really do even when broke. He gets in screaming match with her and says he's taking her to airport. He was bringing me venetian desert. (I'm a fat **** god damn venetian desert is so damn good that butter cake I wish they delivered or I could rationalize paying a PA when I'm not playing poker 12+hours a day. He leaves, she stays. I try to calm things down, but then my PA tilt books a flight to NY....so she assumes PA duty in her head....i guess.
I just sort of write it off figure I'll worry about it later, and try to play it cool....I mean I bring my iPad with me when I play so worst case scenario is she steals my macbook. Don't think I gave her a key either I'm pretty sure she would just run around and text me dinner/end of day.
She doesn't understand poker at all, or how serious going deep in main is, and obv make it seem like I have no money maybe order room service once or twice. Room wasn't bad. Think maybe she was just sort of homeless or her sugar daddy in Oregon or something kicked her out/fight with my friend no idea/focused on poker. The whole thing was so absurd lol, a complete stranger cute girl moved in with me during the main event. I was sort of friends with my PA and really only care about poker but obviously I still have sex drive and well she opted to sleep in the same bed as me despite a fine guest bed next but I was clear to her we were just friends...but she'd like change and walk around naked/change and lol i just am writing it out laughing at how absurd it was. Enough crazy in my life anyway but lol at that happening to me during my main event run. God, I could elaborate so much more/might/pics if I ever write a memoir/suicide note but woulda been 10x cooler if I ****ing won instead. **** YOU ISUXATPOKERBAD.
I thought about trying to kick her out, but figured chance of arrest or drama couldn't risk the equity of my seat.....and then one night....i got wokbren up a little after i dozed off at 2 or 3 am.....and she brought a couple up to the room. now.....I hadn't had much social interaction with her despite just the random bs/talking about life winding down at end of the poker days during the WSOP. She would go out clubbing a lot I think, idk, memory a little weird, I just remember this scenario distinctively because it was when I realized she was a little nuts, lol.
I knew that I was going to be living in Vegas, and had no friends in Vegas. This girl was just on vacation in her head, or maybe testing me as a suitable mate and I failed (thank god) lol (although I really wish I could say I ****ed a black girl for my street cred sadly) My mind was completely focused on poker the entire time so whatever bs she was saying while giving me my panda express or, actually she didn't even do laundry, lol, just went in one ear out the other.
Anyways, I asked the new girl her number...and she FLIPPED OUT started screaming really loud at the girl basically all walter white stay off my territory kicked both of em out immediately. I was flabbergasted, and tired, and went to bed 30 min later, but had to be like, just summarizing lol memory hazy all i care about is poker and staying out of trouble.....but i didn't invite this girl into my room in first place its crazy spots i get myself into omg.
"we are just friends.........you are on vacation and i'm working so its cool but wtf is that why couldn't i get her # ?"I was picking words in like the least confrontational way because I'm paranoid of getting carter gilled its the main event ! But she thinks I could just cash out and not go to work tomorrow or something lol. I told her if I made final 9 (thru last day) I'd get her a 300$ purse or something I think she wanted because she was my good luck charm one day, lol, learn from past to always be broke with girls.
Anyways she began to tell me something about chemistry between us or asked if I felt anything idk. Goddamn its funny I wonder if I would have been able to play that game if I wasn't completely focused on the main. I'm just recollecting it now, and on a typing rant because I just got on my keyboard for first time in a week due to even more personal drama/crazy depression.
How did I go on this rant. sucks i was too depressed to even leave room or do anything for many weeks after main even though she wanted me to/even mentioned helping me find a cheap place to fix my teeth. oh well, theres a lot more to that after the main that ill save for another time.
Awww, get set over set for the biggest equity pot in my life and he compliments my hygiene. You are a ambassador brother. Enjoy the money, you will do better stuff with it than I would.
Do you remember what I told you bro? If you dress up for the FT you are going to get doomswitched by either my ghost spirit or my essence if I'm still alive. #sweatpants #flipflops
haha, I will give people the respect to not talk during big hands I'm not involved in if I respect them and if I like them usually. I don't always do it though. There is no rule against it and if I see it really bothers people I will probably be more likely to do it. If they ask nicely and I don't think they are a scumbag, I comply. I actually did do that for Cannuli when he asked me. Negreanu/others can verify. Otherwise, I'll get my 15 mins of fame.
The whole WSOP ME is special because sooooooo many pros like Dnegs flirt with the ethical line of talking/not talking influencing action in multiway pots or with whatever dumb rules there are. Dnegs got mad at me when I said something in middle of hand vs a guy, "how strong if he shoved now" and he just gave me such a serious angry tone." I found it absurd because dnegs does stuff similar to that in multiway pots all the time (granted not at this stage in a big tourney so its different and he's definitely right and I'm slightly in the wrong) However, the fish was 100% folding regardless and it didn't influence action and if it did I'd understand a TD penalty but its all a joke anyway and anyone with a brain can see how unfair a lot of the rulings are by the TDs. (Like Robbie reading the flop......completely absurd like a lot of things that go on.)
When I play cash games, I will always stfu if others are in a big pot unless I hate both players in it. Tourneys are different, and part of the strategy is, people can't choose who they sit with. You use it to be buddy buddy and they sort of passively collude/softplay (DNEGS Shtick) Or you can get people to hate you so much they gun after you and punt stacks trying just to get u to be quiet. And I get people to punt stacks lol.
Dnegs is wrong. The announcer is way out of line often. Why should I be at a strategic disadvantage because I'm at the feature table when the feature table isn't random? WSOP doesn't care about integrity of game, so what. I dealt with it. But I'd love for you to try to explain to me how you can think this doesn't blatantly effect the integrity of the tournament.
Uppers were never my thing although I don't mind a good ol' crack binge every once in a while holla at yo boy shaniac. My DOC when I was a rich young'n was oxycodone! Goddamn that feeling! How bad could it be either if doctors prescribe it! About 80%+ of the people that started there that I knew ended up thieving/tricking to support heroin habits when price of pills went up because DEA cracked down on the pill mills.
Man, I coulda given some real stories to put merson's story to shame
Think I was happier a lot of time when I was homeless rolling around the hood in my uninsured 6months up for repo acura
I got arrested when I was homeless the very first night I got a cheap hotel room and split it with scumbags because it gets cold in winter. Split it with some scumbag kids to save money. They leave room at 4am to do whatever, but forget phone. I call the kid tell him he left phone. They come back. (cops scouting em entire time) They see me hand dude phone. (think its a hand to hand)
Cops pull em over and they were smoking crack or something stupid and they were asked where they come from just tell us. They snitched! For nothing! They knew I wasn't a drug dealer and just a broke **** wtf did they think they would gain? Anyways, scumbag pigs knock on my door, and I open it an inch. Next thing I know I am pinned to my bed by 4 pigs guns blazing screaming at me yelling at me not to flush the toilet wtf lol. No clue exactly what they found because they sort of combined it with the other kids suitcase that was still there so I don't know how they decided what, probably just lied. It couldn't have been much because I didn't know I had anything on me, lol. A single line of cocaine, single pill of oxy/xanax, single bag of dope/crack its all possession of narcotic and all a felony regardless the amount. Can be trace amounts.
I still remember the smug look on that pigs face when I asked him how he found the stuff in my room while in jail filling out some form. He smiled and told me straight to my face that I consented to the search. I'm not a violent person and often look for ways to forgive anyone and anything and always try to put myself in that persons shoes. I don't think I can have any sympathy for that disgusting person. If punishment they have for possession is fair, then I think a punishment similar to the lolita slave toy creepypasta would be fair for lying cops who get enjoyment out of of ruining people's lives who are doing absolutely nothing negative to society. [dont google that if you don't know it/have weak stomach/don't believe in torture] Thats personal/kind of petty but who knows how many other things he's lied about to arrest people? The cash4kids guy deserves that punishment for sure, lol at those sentences compared to drug pos. nuts!
Now we are talking about stereotypes again. They exist because they are real. In my sample size about 15% of cops are good people/great people in fact. You can tell they genuinely are trying to help. The other 85% of my experiences have been with various levels of terrible people.
Now, when its a bull**** obvious illegal search they usually just tell people to go to drug education program and finish it and they throw it away. I told them I'd like to represent myself, and there is 0% I'd do a drug education program and I'd rather do jail time and I'd plead guilty to whatever, just want to move on and get the **** out of CT.
They tell me that I should just agree to do the drug education program even if I wasn't going to do it because if I plead guilty then the punishment would be drug education program and probation. I said sure, but I'm not agreeing to any probation or drug education program, but you can see me in a year.
Come back in a year and say same thing. Its a dumb stalemate. They aren't going to run a trial for simple drug possession. They aren't going to send me to jail for a completely bogus case where they got almost nothing. And I refuse to do the program because I don't give a **** if I'm a felon. If anything, it probably is best for me because now I can't buy a gun to kill myself. Could get it expunged in 5 years too pretty easily if I wanted to/am alive/paid a lawyer. I finally got a prosecutor that offered me no probation, no program, and just a suspended sentence and the entire court room laughed at me as I left while I was completely ecstatic knowing I could play the WSOP! AND I ALMOST WON! They knew I could have got off easily if I did the program but I refused to enter that circle.
http://www.jud2.ct.gov/crdockets/Cas...f-15e60a656ec7
2.5 years of bull****. alone in a hotel room by foxwoods. joke country.
IMO the idea of drug possession being a crime let alone a felony is absolutely absurd and it disgusts me to live in such a society that I could technically be put in a cage for 5 years because of something I choose to put in my body while alone in my own domicile with no effect on anyone else. THE LAND OF THE FREE. Also, the substances are scientifically proven to be safer than cigarettes and it is pretty much fact thanks to Portugal that decriminalizing drugs and treating it as a health issue rather than a criminal one is more effective. That doesn't matter in the USA though, only money matters. Who needs logic and science when you have lobbyists
Lot of my close friends wonder why I have to keep changing my numbers/have so many numbers!
They've never had the pleasure of newyork narcotics officers threatening you for convincing your gf not to snitch/stop being a CI for her own safety (swear this guy thought he was denzel in training day the **** he was saying and yes I had number verified called dept myself)
.....or a girl doing whipits in your rental car driving over a median because the guy she was cheating on was figuring it out so her response was to scratch her face drawing blood and claim I kidnapped her. I almost got bashed by a baseball bat that night, anyone know GTO strat on fighting someone with a baseball bat? Charge quick protect head hope you just take a glancing shot to an arm and then bring em to ground is your only shot right? Adrenaline should let you still pound away with a shattered arm or whatever, right. Was insanely close to finding out.
Funny enough, recently, a nearly exact situation happened to me which ended with my right ring finger nearly getting bit off by an angry girl.
TL;DR of Entire Post Even if toothless and unkempt can still talk to girls and my life would be immeasurably better if I didn't buy out of my virginity prop bet http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/34...thmunk-147782/.
I have no idea what I wrote. I woke up at 3pm yesterday and was in an unusually terrible mood and finally bought a keyboard so I could concoct some sort of memoirs or suicide note. Its complicated. I'm bored. I am probably going to die due to poor health in <5 years anyway. Why do we let cats and dogs be put down but not people. If I can leave my room two straight days to get a mcdonalds iced coffee I consider myself on an upswing in mental health. I talked to my dad today. He has been really helpful to me after black friday and am grateful for that I guess but sort of wish I just joined some of the other grinders that have suicided since black friday because....man....its just a ****ing joke.
I wish I understood myself or knew what was right. If I thought a shrink would help, I'd go to shrink #12 or whatever. If I thought a rehab would help, I'd go. Rehabs are so counterintuitive. I like to quote the line in blow "I came in prison with a bachelor in marijuana, and left with a doctorate in cocaine" In my experience, I've seen about <5% people get better after a rehab stint, and >95% just get deeper in the game, meet more ****ed up people, and the circle gets deeper and deeper. Know dozens of people just going in and out for years in a cycle of misery. I wonder if I didn't have a unique job if I would be trapped in the same bs.
Its ******ed how people treat addiction and I've seen it ruin so many people that I partially enabled and many people think I'm the actual devil and would want me dead and I'd tell them to pull the trigger.
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/29...ammer-1406093/
pretty sure he did his first oxy at my house. his story......i've seen happen.....dozens of times. hope i didn't give it to him, don't remember.
when u abuse drugs long enough your body just will never produce seratonin (happy chemical) again the same way. your just ****ed for life.
some people are so weak and can't even overcome the physical withdrawals. that is a couple days of terrible pain. the boredom, depression, Post-acute withdrawal symptoms, are what gets people.
the stats are just grim, and people are unscientific (12 steps programs are complete bull**** and a cancer to society and have probably ruined tons more lives than they saved;they don't keep track of stats for a reason)
here is where someone says omg no this person did 12 steps and was at corner of death and it saved them completely! YES! IT WORKS FOR LIKE 8% or <15% OF PEOPLE! You have to be a special type of stupid for the 12 steps to work for you. Find your higher power and say you are powerless can make things worse for people whose underlying cause of their addiction is self-esteem self-image issues.
ya, tell someone who already feels worthless that they are powerless and that a higher power has their back. ya, i'm super happy for people its helped, but I've had people I love dearly be abandoned by their entire family because the ******ed AA program tells them "they have to hit rock bottom before you can help them or your enabling"
The analogies if you think about it are mindbending. Human brain is insanely complex probably most complex thing in universe we don't understand now. Mental health should be treated just like physical health...yet see people who don't work with 12 steps be abandoned by everyone and then just end up back on streets and there is not much help you can do to a sick junkie even if you love them.
Sorry doc, gotta let the cancer get to near death before we start the chemo!
Or even worse, with relapses. Families treat relapses as square one! ITS ****ING ******ED. The whole "Keeping your sober date" is idiotic and sets you up for failure. well, obviously it wasn't done by a doctor. The main thing used to treat an epidemic in this country, is literally just bull**** written by joe blow. Look it up. I **** you not. OH NO NOW I GOT A NEW DATE.
Bill W, not a doctor, wrote the basis of all rehab (court mandated too, experienced it multiple times) over 80 years ago. It hasn't changed.
Imagine if we treated other health problems with 80 year old methods written by some hack? DARE MAN! Abstinence! Just tell kids no sex/drugs and if they do find god. America lives in the ****ing stone ages.
"Forgiving yourself" and "Living in the present" are counter-intuitive to "keeping dates"
I knew a kid who was using 40 minutes before LEADING a narcotics anonymous meeting. Social pressure to keep your date. Just creating a new addiction/family works for some weak people but can cripple people that fail or have low self-esteem..
Say you beat cancer and its in remission woot family celebrates! Get checked every year of course, oh 2 years later a small lump comes back, minor surgery it goes away you recover. That happens sometimes.....
With drugs, if you relapse, YOU LOSE YOUR DATE! BACK TO REHAB! BACK TO 0! 0 HELP 0 SUPPORT! YOU NEED TO FIND GOD! PRAY!
I try to be as religiously tolerant as they come, I don't even consider myself atheist anymore and just say I hope we are part of something much bigger than even the universe and the universe is just some video game a kid is playing or something, but omg when people are sick and selling themselves on the cold in the streets and people who supposedly care about you are talking about god, the stupidity is overwhelming. And it is ingrained in the 12 steps. Its repulsive. And religion is America! I'd lay extreme odds their is no god but can't say 100% so does 99.99999999999% mean atheist?
. WTF poker can I do? I still work but lol the jump from 14-9th in main i got ****ing mckeehened out of is bigger than first place of almost any tourney I can play. Whats the point? Its not like I'm suicidal, I'm not. I was for a bit today, but chilled. Its just, the amount of money, hours of work, stress just to fix my teeth/body/not even counting other stuff I'm not sharing here but w/e. I've talked to rational poker players in confidence about all my problems and some of them agree suicide would be perfectly rational response. Realistically speaking though, I just can't. I can't abandon the few people I actually care about or do that to them unfortunately. I wish I could convince them that life/death is arbitrary and not even be upset if I die just remember good times and laugh.
Its a very thin line between "Life is short, cherish it" and "Life is short, whats the point?"
but most can say that I'm not a bull****ter. Anyways, idk if I'll ever recover from the pain that you all will witness whenever my bustout occurs, but idc. I'm glad I had some fun/good run/and have a mild platform to rant a bit. Maybe ESPN will show some. Really wish I won though for the story book, "takes a bogus felony charge so he can go to WSOP, wins main event" cinderella story welcome to my life. Mods will probably delete it for the other bs I rant about but I think its all relevant and want it all out there if you want to hear from me and the stuff ESPN edits. Just if you delete any of it, delete it all or keep it all, all I ask.AZMountainHiker is correct. It isn't presumptuous to assume my odor would be foul based on my appearance. I am not the most hygienic person in the world, but in the population subset of WSOP ME players I probably am in the top 10 percentile in terms of bodily odor/hygeine as I shower/brush teeth every morning and even showered during my dinner break too when I was on the TV table the last 2 days as it got hot/sweaty.To give me **** for my hygiene would be silly.
In the rare times I do care about my appearance, I would buy conditioner that the hotel didn't provide and/or cut my hair so it doesn't appear to be greasy and unkempt.
Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. They are true. An overweight, toothless, drug addict, with unkempt hair is much more likely to have bad body odor than someone that looks like DNEGS. I try my best not to smell when I'm in public usually though
I enjoy it and it is part of my strategy. Very few of the people at the table are as used to playing for insanely high stakes as much as I have, so it makes people make mistakes.
Negreanu's shtick is to constantly talk to people and play buddy buddy and joke about his nittiness and how he's Mr. Cold 4! Do you think that he is genuine? Lmao, just because one table demeanor is 'friendly' and the other is 'antagonizing' they both are accomplishing the same goals....to exploit your image/fish for monetary gain.
Personally, I find Dnegs shtick to be much more annoying/unbearable than the antagonizing types (guess you can say hellmuth, but he's pretty much delusional so its hard to categorize him. Or myself.
You all notice that Negreanu basically gave up his table talking bs when I arrived? I don't know how edited it is, I haven't watched the coverage yet and might not ever but anyways my point that all talk and actions at table are purely strategic and judging people for it is irrational. Its just a persona, an act. I'm better at it than Dnegs too
[too bad going to have to wait 800 years to reach the long run and run at expectation] Hope DDL's friends don't consider him bill the butcher permanently after method acting! Everything any pro says or does at a poker table can and should be considered an act.Many elite athletes act completely differently on the court (at work) and in real life and its accepted by people, but not for poker for some reason. If people can't discern 'trash talk' or whatever goes down when you are working and battling for life changing from one's personality in real life, I don't know what to say. I'd include examples but worried I might spoil because think they aren't at final 2 tables yet and haven't watched.
I am 100% in the right here, and if Negreanu had made the request then it would have been handled differently. Just example number 901249012 of WSOP incompetence and showing favorability and complete incompetence.
Table draws are random. However, feature tables aren't random. Because I am a character I am much more likely to be at a feature table. (and I was.) If one table had an auto shuffler, and the other table didn't, then both tables play without an auto shuffler. This should be same with announcing. Its completely unfair that because I am giving ESPN more material, my edge should be slightly hurt, because I can't completely conceal my knowledge of the information on the board while in position on the river.
It really isn't even close. I would have complained more if I thought there was any chance the WSOP would listen/show logic, but they are completely incompetent and unfair. Robbie (the announcer) is way out of line in a lot of his announcing. Other players that you guys would actually respect have said so many times. Paging Ike Haxton! Please confirm I'm not just a crazy munk
. Now, obviously my request would be insane/wrong if we were the last table left. But with many tables left and only one being announced, and me having a much higher likelihood of being at the announced table (not random) is the definition of unfair play and I was cheated. Im pretty sure even daniel can understand that. Obviously, very little effect, and not nearly as bad as the crazy 14-9th pay jump spectacle with one table stalling, but WSOP did a great job making the biggest tournament of the year completely unfair/joke. (Despite me warning them this exact scenario would occur weeks in advance) The people in charge don't understand or care about poker or integrity of the game as much as we do, they care about numbers, and they know the only people that complain about this stuff are showing up anyway! Part strategy too, as I had position on him, and wanted him to think of me in a certain way, so as always with EVERYTHING ANYONE says at the table while playing for millions of dollars taking it at 100% value is idiotic.
Having said that, he's a good looking poker superstar, and I am a poker fan boy. I played 500-1k Rail Heaven and 500-1k thunder dome years ago and following highstakes poker since I was ****ing 12 years old grinding prima freerolls on multiple accounts, lol. Then I did the party poker 50$ refer a friend bonus grinding steps but I'd always sweat the highstakes games (NL only ran for a while before PLO got popular) I knew he was a boss, I think I may have been confusing him with his brother that played a lot of 100-200nl though, idk. I am a genuine fanboy of steinberg though, and he was my only real competition at the table for a while. Well Cannuli was somewhat of a player, but in actuality just an aggressive button clicker. (I think, small sample, might have to see more hands) Funny enough, just being a fearless button clicker is enough to crush the main with how soft it is
Just reread that and thought it came off as hating on Daniel too much. Daniel is a beast. He won't make any big mistakes vs good players, and soooooo many weaker players will make massive mistakes vs him, and he plays fish exploitatively better than >90% 'elite' mtters/onliners. He played a hand vs cannuli that it just blew my mind that he got him to just punt like that. He clearly is an amazing live MTT player and crushes the main event. However, it is true the press making him out to be the superstar he is is downright hilarious with how fundamentally terribly he is theoretically in some spots. Clearly he is a spot in almost all SHRs now and any pro that argues that is just hustling.
Its hard to hate on Daniel though because I don't know if he's playing to make the FT for brand equity, if he cares about making the most money only (I doubt that while most of us grinders are) or if he truly is just playing for the win.
Either way AKo is a trivial fold pre in the spot he cold 4 vs Joe (idk if spoil) and if he thought Joe was out of line enough then its a shove. 4betting and slamming the table upset and tanking while getting shoved on is equivalent of saying "I don't understand whats going on."
w/e enough theory its hard to talk for days, its just Daniel loves to preach on and on about his small ball and how he does his thing and how you are one of those 3bettors, and he really just simply lacks the knowledge of basic theory to succeed in the highest stakes today, and I'd be lying if I didn't feel jealous that the general public thinks otherwise and I cringe more and more I hear about 'smallball' and how far above expectation he ran during his heater but w/e. If I was Daniel and lived his life I probably would act just like him too, the guy is ****ing blessed. Its not his fault! Poker MTTs are a never-ending cruel martingale for the lucky and the wishful thinking delusional masochists. Same with PLO. I wish I stayed in school. (jk)
Yes, Daniel, one of the common leaks of the younger generation during the poker boom was over aggression/xbetting and you felt superior to kids because of your experience you realized that almost half the field 3betting pre flop meant QQ+AK. You mopped up some of those idiots. Most of the clueless aggress are bust, and I'm sure a syndicate could be formed to crossbook Fedor or Dan Smith or whoever for millions upon millions in mtt format. WSOP is WSODNEGS. WE NEED NEW KIDPOKER. [SHOULDABEENME] FML
I'm super impressed with how DNEGS gets amateur players or weaker 'pros' even to punt to him. Thats daniel's bread and butter. He owned cannuli in a spot I don't even remember completely, just was watching closely and was positive negreanu was nutted and absolutely shocked he got cannuli to put in many chips. He might have double check raised or something on a dry flop, it was insane. I was expecting to see a set over set or something and then saw a snap fold and then thought to myself, "this is how daniel still makes money after all these years how do these idiots keep giving him money" Granted, I've probably seen every televised hand of Daniel's life, back from when he actually was a huge tell box fish to now where he is....well semi-solid Daniel. He has so much money and crushed it all from idiots for so many years and why would he care about poker anymore? Its tough.
Well, I got off topic, whatever. Daniel is a really good guy at heart and any resentment I had to him for stuff he said about my best friend ages ago has past. I devote my life to studying poker and grinding poker. Back when online poker was in the USA regs would be like 'aperfectgent u ever sleep?' Negreanu was my original poker hero. He was way ahead of his time and crushed people and was king of his era and the most successful tournament poker player of all time now right now. He grinded like hell and worked very hard to get there. It irks me that he still thinks he's the ****ing BEST and carries himself that way and so does the media. (And no I don't think I'm anywhere near the BEST at any poker variant, maybe like top 50-100 in 2 but w/e)
I understand its ratings and I will probably never have my validation. Anyone that hears someone is a poker pro will still ask how much you lose and it will never be viewed as a profession as a hedge fund manager or investment banker would (AS IT SHOULD BE) To quote a better writer than my bipolar stream of consciousness crazy self after Dnegs lost to one of the hardest working/studying poker players I've ever met, Dan Colman.
Nothing changes!
Its just the same old same old. Daniel will put someone on the most likely value combo and fold because fish don't bluff deep in the main and Norman will fellate him or a fish will take a nonsensical line and he'll say I'm confused and call and win. Is poker still casual? What % of ESPN2 audience think in ranges. It just is super depressing and I don't even think I'll be able to watch the coverage knowing daily fantasy sports in booming and poker still has a stigma. Imagine if Daniel/Phil/Antonio admitted the game has changed drastically from the poker boom and there was a segment contrasting Ike/Hellmuth breaking down a simple button/bb defense spot. The world is realizing autonomy is the future. The singularity is coming!!!! Gl with white magic and sourcing your positive energy guys! Great faces of poker!. **** sample size. **** charlatans.
Glad I entertained you
This might be a fun read toowonder what it looks like with what i wrote here or if its even cool, lol.
My story is well chronicled. Ironically, I was just a simple poker nerd for a while. From 12-17 years old at least mostly. I played video games first, was the #1 ranked madden player in the year vick was on the cover. I was obsessed with poker. I paid for my subaru after winning two 11 rebuys same day, would pay for everything just grinding stars. I was really smart so could take tests and pass high school for most part, and would pay people to do projects so I could graduate. Then, my senior year, I chopped the sunday million for more than first place. Seeing as I was under 18 my mother had no problem cashing out money for me because it meant she didn't have to support me and I could just pay for my own things! However, when I won that and wanted to officially go pro.
I never got along with my mother, and was very close to turning 18 so plan was to just hold it in account until then so i couldn't get hacked. (No RSA token back then but if you were logged in you couldn't be logged out so it was best thing) Unfortunately, people talk in high school. It was summer and I remember the phone call and voice distinctly in my head in that screechy disgustingly stereotypical jewish mother voice. I was at my buddies pool, planning out on summer houses for the summer., senior slide.
"HOW MUCH MONEY DID YOU WIN LAST SUNDAY JUSTIN? GET HOME NOW"
I had a younger brother who was a freshman on the tennis team. A friend of a friend basically saw my mother, nice kid, he actually plays poker! He was like hey Mrs. Schwartz! Congratulations! She didn't know what was going on. Obviously, it would be irrational to hold a grudge or hate him for what he did but I do love to joke/give him **** for it whenever I see him like THANKS A LOT MAN! WAY TO GO. :X
I threw my phone on the floor. She took the money to protect me from myself!. I had never even smoked pot. I drank on weekends occasionally **** normal high school stuff nothing bad really. I was with enough money on me to bail me out...as I just couldn't live at my mother's house, but she held my money hostage. That was a fun 2 days in jail! Disorderly Conduct only charge because a window was broken/a souvenir maybe. She was hysterical I do my best to be calm. Normally, I'd be in and out with a 50$ ticket or PTA or something, but considering my mother/living situation was reason I was in jail, I had to spend the weekend. They fed me mcdonalds.
Judge said no computer for me (lol like I listened to that) as soon as I got back and signed on my computer my mother said I was violating a judges order and was being held in contempt of court. I told her to call and get me arrested....
I also had mandatory gamblers anonymous meetings assigned. the judge was huge prick. Told me I was lucky I didn't have an ankle bracelet. Mandatory GA LMAO. I had never even made a sports bet or done anything but grind poker.
Fun fact, judge was corrupt, literally. Lost his judgeship couple years later. Murica. Not quite cash4kids, but lol. **** this country.
Anyways, I would get kicked out of meeting after meeting because I wouldn't admit I was a gambling addict while talking to the same party poker losers who paid for the car I used to grind there and the 200k sitting in my mothers bank account.
Favorite quote that sticks with me to this day: Random Partypoker degen: "The odds appear to be there, but they aren't really there."
Wish I remembered how tact my response if any was to that. They genuinely wanted to help and thought I was a lost soul so think/hope I was nice, but I was more of a prick and arrogant/closed minded back then unfortunately, lol.
Finally ended back in court and same scumbag judge told me I could go to juvenile detention or go to college. (My mother always wanted me to go to college you know, her dream was a nice jewish girl for me. She said there probably was a blind one out there for me after she gave up her calling me gay phase)
Chose college obv (Muhlenberg Mules lol), turned 18, dropped out, ended up on friends couch at UCONN with nothing, he lent me money for laptop, had a bottle of vodka and some pizza rolls, all good though think I was betting 50k on the Super Bowl next year
poker was easy back then.Not sure when after that I ended up buying a house at the actual worst time right before it collapsed, combined with me and a lot of my friends getting addicted to oxycodone, but ya run bad. I brushed my teeth almost obsessively when they started hurting but it was all for nought basically. FW people would know I'd bring a 2l of diet coke with me when I grinded
The acidic diet soda and me drinking >2l of it a day as well as the dry mouth opiates caused when you slept means my teeth just rotted. That and terrible social anxiety/depression at a certain point with black friday after and money issues I had a root canal appointment and just couldn't bring myself to go. When you constantly have suicide on your mind, your teeth don't really fit high on priority list of problems to fix. Having said that, if I made nov 9, I would have bought myself a new mouth. If I made next pay jump, it would have been close, idk, don't wanna exaggerate and lie completely but w/e, probably wouldn't have anyway tbh. Nah, I am terribly depressed for a number of reasons. I go weeks without eating, and think I left my room 3 times since I got back from california for the bike WPT. I'm sure you can imagine I've dealt with a lot of tooth pain so its understandable I [ab]use[d] various pain killers.
Don't know how Kelly got involved but she is really cool. I think she plays very well too. If I thought I had a >0% chance of wooing her I would have got a hair cut/bought conditioner/bought a gold grill
She crushes life, and I do the opposite of crushing life, so ya.... She and Jason Koon and Ben Tollerene are too perfect for me to fathom. I can't wait to find out what their deep dark secret is. Nobody could be that perfect. micropenis? serial killer? Just has to be something. Poker world has some interesting diverse group of people!ya would take 20-30k probably to fix em. I wouldn't wanna half ass it. Doubt I live long enough to ever want to do it though. A lot of people think its drug use that causes the teeth being ****ed up its just a myth though. Its just the stereotype being accurate. Just like fat/greasy haired people you'd expect to smell, people that do drugs are more likely to not take care of their teeth. Its not the drugs themselves, except for the dry mouth. I'm not a doctor but reasons for my teeth probably like (60% diet coke addiction 20% drug use 10% poor dental care/brushing 5% genetics 5% social anxiety/bipolar etc.
Many people enjoy sitting next to me and find me entertaining. I don't want to misquote her, but Kelly Minkin and another female said they had their favorite poker experience at the WSOP playing with me deep in the millionaire maker this year. Once again though, I don't blame you by judging a book by its cover. In poker, its what I do all the time. Going to respond to a 3bet way differently first hand at table based on age, race, gender, etc. and idk how espn edits me.
Girls actually aren't completely repulsed with me! (No I don't pay and never have paid for sex don't even have self-confidence for a massage at the table!) A half-black/latina girl sort of forced herself to move in with me during the main event and told everyone she was my personal assistant. Was funny seeing people comment on that. Was sort of strange, and seeing as I was playing poker almost every hour of every day its not like I could kick her out, and not like I could risk some falling out and me getting arrested because she prob has meth or would cry rape or something so had to just play it cool.
Very strange experience. She didn't understand poker either, or had clue about how much $ I could have won or how tourneys work etc. During the off day of the main event, the personal assistant I met on reddit and was paying just small $ to grab me shake shack/do laundry whatnot. It makes most economic sense in vegas if you don't have a car because PA costs less than taxi costs doing it yourself and you work more so its something you should really do even when broke. He gets in screaming match with her and says he's taking her to airport. He was bringing me venetian desert. (I'm a fat **** god damn venetian desert is so damn good that butter cake I wish they delivered or I could rationalize paying a PA when I'm not playing poker 12+hours a day. He leaves, she stays. I try to calm things down, but then my PA tilt books a flight to NY....so she assumes PA duty in her head....i guess.
I just sort of write it off figure I'll worry about it later, and try to play it cool....I mean I bring my iPad with me when I play so worst case scenario is she steals my macbook. Don't think I gave her a key either I'm pretty sure she would just run around and text me dinner/end of day.
She doesn't understand poker at all, or how serious going deep in main is, and obv make it seem like I have no money maybe order room service once or twice. Room wasn't bad. Think maybe she was just sort of homeless or her sugar daddy in Oregon or something kicked her out/fight with my friend no idea/focused on poker. The whole thing was so absurd lol, a complete stranger cute girl moved in with me during the main event. I was sort of friends with my PA and really only care about poker but obviously I still have sex drive and well she opted to sleep in the same bed as me despite a fine guest bed next but I was clear to her we were just friends...but she'd like change and walk around naked/change and lol i just am writing it out laughing at how absurd it was. Enough crazy in my life anyway but lol at that happening to me during my main event run. God, I could elaborate so much more/might/pics if I ever write a memoir/suicide note but woulda been 10x cooler if I ****ing won instead. **** YOU ISUXATPOKERBAD.
I thought about trying to kick her out, but figured chance of arrest or drama couldn't risk the equity of my seat.....and then one night....i got wokbren up a little after i dozed off at 2 or 3 am.....and she brought a couple up to the room. now.....I hadn't had much social interaction with her despite just the random bs/talking about life winding down at end of the poker days during the WSOP. She would go out clubbing a lot I think, idk, memory a little weird, I just remember this scenario distinctively because it was when I realized she was a little nuts, lol.
I knew that I was going to be living in Vegas, and had no friends in Vegas. This girl was just on vacation in her head, or maybe testing me as a suitable mate and I failed (thank god) lol (although I really wish I could say I ****ed a black girl for my street cred sadly) My mind was completely focused on poker the entire time so whatever bs she was saying while giving me my panda express or, actually she didn't even do laundry, lol, just went in one ear out the other.
Anyways, I asked the new girl her number...and she FLIPPED OUT started screaming really loud at the girl basically all walter white stay off my territory kicked both of em out immediately. I was flabbergasted, and tired, and went to bed 30 min later, but had to be like, just summarizing lol memory hazy all i care about is poker and staying out of trouble.....but i didn't invite this girl into my room in first place its crazy spots i get myself into omg.
"we are just friends.........you are on vacation and i'm working so its cool but wtf is that why couldn't i get her # ?"I was picking words in like the least confrontational way because I'm paranoid of getting carter gilled its the main event ! But she thinks I could just cash out and not go to work tomorrow or something lol. I told her if I made final 9 (thru last day) I'd get her a 300$ purse or something I think she wanted because she was my good luck charm one day, lol, learn from past to always be broke with girls.
Anyways she began to tell me something about chemistry between us or asked if I felt anything idk. Goddamn its funny I wonder if I would have been able to play that game if I wasn't completely focused on the main. I'm just recollecting it now, and on a typing rant because I just got on my keyboard for first time in a week due to even more personal drama/crazy depression.
How did I go on this rant. sucks i was too depressed to even leave room or do anything for many weeks after main even though she wanted me to/even mentioned helping me find a cheap place to fix my teeth. oh well, theres a lot more to that after the main that ill save for another time.
Awww, get set over set for the biggest equity pot in my life and he compliments my hygiene. You are a ambassador brother. Enjoy the money, you will do better stuff with it than I would.
Do you remember what I told you bro? If you dress up for the FT you are going to get doomswitched by either my ghost spirit or my essence if I'm still alive. #sweatpants #flipflops
haha, I will give people the respect to not talk during big hands I'm not involved in if I respect them and if I like them usually. I don't always do it though. There is no rule against it and if I see it really bothers people I will probably be more likely to do it. If they ask nicely and I don't think they are a scumbag, I comply. I actually did do that for Cannuli when he asked me. Negreanu/others can verify. Otherwise, I'll get my 15 mins of fame
. The whole WSOP ME is special because sooooooo many pros like Dnegs flirt with the ethical line of talking/not talking influencing action in multiway pots or with whatever dumb rules there are. Dnegs got mad at me when I said something in middle of hand vs a guy, "how strong if he shoved now" and he just gave me such a serious angry tone." I found it absurd because dnegs does stuff similar to that in multiway pots all the time (granted not at this stage in a big tourney so its different and he's definitely right and I'm slightly in the wrong) However, the fish was 100% folding regardless and it didn't influence action and if it did I'd understand a TD penalty but its all a joke anyway and anyone with a brain can see how unfair a lot of the rulings are by the TDs. (Like Robbie reading the flop......completely absurd like a lot of things that go on.)
When I play cash games, I will always stfu if others are in a big pot unless I hate both players in it. Tourneys are different, and part of the strategy is, people can't choose who they sit with. You use it to be buddy buddy and they sort of passively collude/softplay (DNEGS Shtick) Or you can get people to hate you so much they gun after you and punt stacks trying just to get u to be quiet. And I get people to punt stacks lol.
Dnegs is wrong. The announcer is way out of line often. Why should I be at a strategic disadvantage because I'm at the feature table when the feature table isn't random? WSOP doesn't care about integrity of game, so what. I dealt with it. But I'd love for you to try to explain to me how you can think this doesn't blatantly effect the integrity of the tournament.
Uppers were never my thing although I don't mind a good ol' crack binge every once in a while holla at yo boy shaniac. My DOC when I was a rich young'n was oxycodone! Goddamn that feeling! How bad could it be either if doctors prescribe it! About 80%+ of the people that started there that I knew ended up thieving/tricking to support heroin habits when price of pills went up because DEA cracked down on the pill mills.
Man, I coulda given some real stories to put merson's story to shame
Think I was happier a lot of time when I was homeless rolling around the hood in my uninsured 6months up for repo acura
I got arrested when I was homeless the very first night I got a cheap hotel room and split it with scumbags because it gets cold in winter. Split it with some scumbag kids to save money. They leave room at 4am to do whatever, but forget phone. I call the kid tell him he left phone. They come back. (cops scouting em entire time) They see me hand dude phone. (think its a hand to hand)
Cops pull em over and they were smoking crack or something stupid and they were asked where they come from just tell us. They snitched! For nothing! They knew I wasn't a drug dealer and just a broke **** wtf did they think they would gain? Anyways, scumbag pigs knock on my door, and I open it an inch. Next thing I know I am pinned to my bed by 4 pigs guns blazing screaming at me yelling at me not to flush the toilet wtf lol. No clue exactly what they found because they sort of combined it with the other kids suitcase that was still there so I don't know how they decided what, probably just lied. It couldn't have been much because I didn't know I had anything on me, lol. A single line of cocaine, single pill of oxy/xanax, single bag of dope/crack its all possession of narcotic and all a felony regardless the amount. Can be trace amounts.
I still remember the smug look on that pigs face when I asked him how he found the stuff in my room while in jail filling out some form. He smiled and told me straight to my face that I consented to the search. I'm not a violent person and often look for ways to forgive anyone and anything and always try to put myself in that persons shoes. I don't think I can have any sympathy for that disgusting person. If punishment they have for possession is fair, then I think a punishment similar to the lolita slave toy creepypasta would be fair for lying cops who get enjoyment out of of ruining people's lives who are doing absolutely nothing negative to society. [dont google that if you don't know it/have weak stomach/don't believe in torture] Thats personal/kind of petty but who knows how many other things he's lied about to arrest people? The cash4kids guy deserves that punishment for sure, lol at those sentences compared to drug pos. nuts!
Now we are talking about stereotypes again. They exist because they are real. In my sample size about 15% of cops are good people/great people in fact. You can tell they genuinely are trying to help. The other 85% of my experiences have been with various levels of terrible people.
Now, when its a bull**** obvious illegal search they usually just tell people to go to drug education program and finish it and they throw it away. I told them I'd like to represent myself, and there is 0% I'd do a drug education program and I'd rather do jail time and I'd plead guilty to whatever, just want to move on and get the **** out of CT.
They tell me that I should just agree to do the drug education program even if I wasn't going to do it because if I plead guilty then the punishment would be drug education program and probation. I said sure, but I'm not agreeing to any probation or drug education program, but you can see me in a year.
Come back in a year and say same thing. Its a dumb stalemate. They aren't going to run a trial for simple drug possession. They aren't going to send me to jail for a completely bogus case where they got almost nothing. And I refuse to do the program because I don't give a **** if I'm a felon. If anything, it probably is best for me because now I can't buy a gun to kill myself. Could get it expunged in 5 years too pretty easily if I wanted to/am alive/paid a lawyer. I finally got a prosecutor that offered me no probation, no program, and just a suspended sentence and the entire court room laughed at me as I left while I was completely ecstatic knowing I could play the WSOP! AND I ALMOST WON!
They knew I could have got off easily if I did the program but I refused to enter that circle. http://www.jud2.ct.gov/crdockets/Cas...f-15e60a656ec7
2.5 years of bull****. alone in a hotel room by foxwoods. joke country.
IMO the idea of drug possession being a crime let alone a felony is absolutely absurd and it disgusts me to live in such a society that I could technically be put in a cage for 5 years because of something I choose to put in my body while alone in my own domicile with no effect on anyone else. THE LAND OF THE FREE. Also, the substances are scientifically proven to be safer than cigarettes and it is pretty much fact thanks to Portugal that decriminalizing drugs and treating it as a health issue rather than a criminal one is more effective. That doesn't matter in the USA though, only money matters. Who needs logic and science when you have lobbyists
Lot of my close friends wonder why I have to keep changing my numbers/have so many numbers!
They've never had the pleasure of newyork narcotics officers threatening you for convincing your gf not to snitch/stop being a CI for her own safety (swear this guy thought he was denzel in training day the **** he was saying and yes I had number verified called dept myself)
.....or a girl doing whipits in your rental car driving over a median because the guy she was cheating on was figuring it out so her response was to scratch her face drawing blood and claim I kidnapped her. I almost got bashed by a baseball bat that night, anyone know GTO strat on fighting someone with a baseball bat? Charge quick protect head hope you just take a glancing shot to an arm and then bring em to ground is your only shot right? Adrenaline should let you still pound away with a shattered arm or whatever, right. Was insanely close to finding out.
Funny enough, recently, a nearly exact situation happened to me which ended with my right ring finger nearly getting bit off by an angry girl.
TL;DR of Entire Post Even if toothless and unkempt can still talk to girls and my life would be immeasurably better if I didn't buy out of my virginity prop bet http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/34...thmunk-147782/.
I have no idea what I wrote. I woke up at 3pm yesterday and was in an unusually terrible mood and finally bought a keyboard so I could concoct some sort of memoirs or suicide note. Its complicated. I'm bored. I am probably going to die due to poor health in <5 years anyway. Why do we let cats and dogs be put down but not people. If I can leave my room two straight days to get a mcdonalds iced coffee I consider myself on an upswing in mental health. I talked to my dad today. He has been really helpful to me after black friday and am grateful for that I guess but sort of wish I just joined some of the other grinders that have suicided since black friday because....man....its just a ****ing joke.
I wish I understood myself or knew what was right. If I thought a shrink would help, I'd go to shrink #12 or whatever. If I thought a rehab would help, I'd go. Rehabs are so counterintuitive. I like to quote the line in blow "I came in prison with a bachelor in marijuana, and left with a doctorate in cocaine" In my experience, I've seen about <5% people get better after a rehab stint, and >95% just get deeper in the game, meet more ****ed up people, and the circle gets deeper and deeper. Know dozens of people just going in and out for years in a cycle of misery. I wonder if I didn't have a unique job if I would be trapped in the same bs.
Its ******ed how people treat addiction and I've seen it ruin so many people that I partially enabled and many people think I'm the actual devil and would want me dead and I'd tell them to pull the trigger.
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/29...ammer-1406093/
pretty sure he did his first oxy at my house. his story......i've seen happen.....dozens of times. hope i didn't give it to him, don't remember.
when u abuse drugs long enough your body just will never produce seratonin (happy chemical) again the same way. your just ****ed for life.
some people are so weak and can't even overcome the physical withdrawals. that is a couple days of terrible pain. the boredom, depression, Post-acute withdrawal symptoms, are what gets people.
the stats are just grim, and people are unscientific (12 steps programs are complete bull**** and a cancer to society and have probably ruined tons more lives than they saved;they don't keep track of stats for a reason)
here is where someone says omg no this person did 12 steps and was at corner of death and it saved them completely! YES! IT WORKS FOR LIKE 8% or <15% OF PEOPLE! You have to be a special type of stupid for the 12 steps to work for you. Find your higher power and say you are powerless can make things worse for people whose underlying cause of their addiction is self-esteem self-image issues.
ya, tell someone who already feels worthless that they are powerless and that a higher power has their back. ya, i'm super happy for people its helped, but I've had people I love dearly be abandoned by their entire family because the ******ed AA program tells them "they have to hit rock bottom before you can help them or your enabling"
The analogies if you think about it are mindbending. Human brain is insanely complex probably most complex thing in universe we don't understand now. Mental health should be treated just like physical health...yet see people who don't work with 12 steps be abandoned by everyone and then just end up back on streets and there is not much help you can do to a sick junkie even if you love them.
Sorry doc, gotta let the cancer get to near death before we start the chemo!
Or even worse, with relapses. Families treat relapses as square one! ITS ****ING ******ED. The whole "Keeping your sober date" is idiotic and sets you up for failure. well, obviously it wasn't done by a doctor. The main thing used to treat an epidemic in this country, is literally just bull**** written by joe blow. Look it up. I **** you not. OH NO NOW I GOT A NEW DATE.
Bill W, not a doctor, wrote the basis of all rehab (court mandated too, experienced it multiple times) over 80 years ago. It hasn't changed.
Imagine if we treated other health problems with 80 year old methods written by some hack? DARE MAN! Abstinence! Just tell kids no sex/drugs and if they do find god. America lives in the ****ing stone ages.
"Forgiving yourself" and "Living in the present" are counter-intuitive to "keeping dates"
I knew a kid who was using 40 minutes before LEADING a narcotics anonymous meeting. Social pressure to keep your date. Just creating a new addiction/family works for some weak people but can cripple people that fail or have low self-esteem..
Say you beat cancer and its in remission woot family celebrates! Get checked every year of course, oh 2 years later a small lump comes back, minor surgery it goes away you recover. That happens sometimes.....
With drugs, if you relapse, YOU LOSE YOUR DATE! BACK TO REHAB! BACK TO 0! 0 HELP 0 SUPPORT! YOU NEED TO FIND GOD! PRAY!
I try to be as religiously tolerant as they come, I don't even consider myself atheist anymore and just say I hope we are part of something much bigger than even the universe and the universe is just some video game a kid is playing or something, but omg when people are sick and selling themselves on the cold in the streets and people who supposedly care about you are talking about god, the stupidity is overwhelming. And it is ingrained in the 12 steps. Its repulsive. And religion is America! I'd lay extreme odds their is no god but can't say 100% so does 99.99999999999% mean atheist?
. WTF poker can I do? I still work but lol the jump from 14-9th in main i got ****ing mckeehened out of is bigger than first place of almost any tourney I can play. Whats the point? Its not like I'm suicidal, I'm not. I was for a bit today, but chilled. Its just, the amount of money, hours of work, stress just to fix my teeth/body/not even counting other stuff I'm not sharing here but w/e. I've talked to rational poker players in confidence about all my problems and some of them agree suicide would be perfectly rational response. Realistically speaking though, I just can't. I can't abandon the few people I actually care about or do that to them unfortunately. I wish I could convince them that life/death is arbitrary and not even be upset if I die just remember good times and laugh.
Its a very thin line between "Life is short, cherish it" and "Life is short, whats the point?"
10-07-2016
, 12:47 AM
10-07-2016
, 12:06 PM