This one time, I could not have been older than 16, mid 80's and I was hanging out with this girl, i think we were playing Nintendo or something ... totally innocent, at her house. And I had been warned about her father, but it still suprised me. I had no opportunity to explain myself, the door burst open and a crazy man came running at me saying, "You stay away from my daughter, or I'll kill ya."

And here I was ... No car. No ride home, guy chased me off his porperty. Was like 9 miles or something, before cell phones ... I walked home. No choice.

Ahhh .... Those were the days. She came over to my house later, when my parents weren't around. I did things her father would not be happy about.

Fristed. Thread has potential. Wtg afwoods.

Saw one time, like a Jessica Alba level hot chick sit down at my poker table. Lost all her money quick and I was saying I will stake her, if she comes back. This reg comes and sits down in her seat and I say, "Is that seat still warm?" and he is like, "What, is something wromg with the chair?" and everyone is laughing, and then the dealer says, "There was a pretty girl in that seat." And he says, "Oh, I didn't notice, I have a daughter."

Glad I don't have a daughter. Apparently pretty girls become invisible, after that.

Age 16, was out with this incredibly stacked girl from my church (church girls do it best), driving around in her parents minivan when we decided to turn it into the Shaggin' Wagon. We went to one of the nearby city parks and climbed over the seats and into the back and started to get warmed up. I was about to round second base when the policeman came a-knockin' and shining his flashlight through the windows. We got out and he didn't hassle us too much, just made sure what we were doing was consensual and told us the park was closed; we would have to go elsewhere.

We left and were driving around brainstorming about where to go when we get pulled over by another cop, who once stopped, starts calling out orders on his megaphone. "Get out of the car with your hands up!" We're like WTF is going on, but we do it and after we get out two officers come up behind us and have us against the van and begin asking us questions about what we were doing, etc. Asked for identification and to search the car, then told us they had a report of a similar minivan driving around the area shooting a shotgun out the window. Not us Mr. Officer. I'm trying to shoot something, but it ain't no shotgun.

We decided that we better call it a night; something was conspiring against us, so she dropped me off and headed home.

A few weeks later I finally hit it. Haven't had titties like that since.

I had my first girlfriend when I was 16 and a virgin, she 15. After going out for a month or so, we planned on having sex when my parents went away for the weekend. I had the arduous task of getting condoms. This was before the days of the big chain pharmacies, so I was buying from the local mom and pop. The thought of having to go into a drugstore and buy them was like the most embarrassing thing in the world I could be subjected to.

After psyching myself up for a good 10 minutes in the car, I entered the store and did a recon to scope out where the condoms were so I wouldn't have to ask a salesperson. I did another lap, grabbed the box that was closest to me and walked straight to the counter. From behind me I heard, "hi peter",,, my girlfriend's mother said! I dropped the box into my coat pocket, thankfully a clean drop. I made small talk for a few minutes, then excused myslef as I told her I forgot a few things I needed to get. When out of sight, I put the condoms back and left the store. The next day, I drove 45 mintues to the next county, where I made my purchase, and went back there as needed every time until I graduated high school.

That's so very sad.

yeah this thread has some serious loltential

In high school we went on a field trip to an archaeological dig. I got paired up with the hottest girl in my class. We found a small arrowhead, which the dig leader said was over 1200 years old.

7.5/10

I found a trilobite, but the girl was average.

IDK if I'd call it a date but: Summer camp at 15 girl's and boy's sections on either side of the counselors one of whom would be up all night just to make sure. They must've thought 'nobody is going to walk 5+ miles around the lake in the middle of the night to get to the girl's section' and wow, did all hell break loose when they found out 'oh yes they will!'

Yep. Guilty as charged.

I was piss drunk after the homecoming dance. My date (Jenn) was lying in the middle of a basement floor, room full of people. I jumped on her and starting making out. 10 seconds or so pass and we stop. We're now sitting up, I look her in the eyes, and a beautiful girl (Mary) walked behind her, and I said to everyone's amusement (save for one) -

[Spoiler]"That was amazing Mary!"[/Spoiler]

This is good. Almost positive I made my girlfriend buy condoms for our first time because I was too embarrassed

Was on and off with this girl for junior and senior year of high school. During one of our longer stretches she finally let me go down on her after school and a few days later I got dumped. Was a little embarrassed because I figured I sucked and she must have just gotten uncomfortable and wanted out.

Turns out it was something related but different. So she started having burning sensations when she peed and it got so bad that she told her mother. Went in to the doc for a check up and the doc noticed legions and irritations around her vag. Blood work was done, and bam...herpes. Turns out my small cold sore on my lip could translate to vaginal herpes!

She said that the doctor had told her there was a 25% chance that it would be re-occurring. Might have given her something she'd remember me by forever.

With there being legions* around her vagina I have no doubt she had herpes.

Legions works too!

Legions of herpes!

Legions of lesions of herpes.

Final Answer.

Apparently you weren't the only one.

In 9th grade I started being friendly with a group of six or so guys who'd all already had one or more girlfriends by that point. And within a few weeks that paid dividends as I got wind that a girl who'd "gone out" with all of them now liked me. Keep in mind this was 1980s suburbia and we were 14 years old, so no one was getting laid but in hindsight I'm guessing guys were getting to second and third base.

At the time, I was - how can I put this - not well versed in the romantic arts. So when I got wind of her liking me, my first move was to go and hang with her in homeroom the next morning......by proceeding to sit Indian style on the floor next to her while she was seated at her desk and a crowd of other kids stared at me in disbelief. Yes - it was as bad as you're picturing it. And yes, I had bad acne at the time.

Somehow she still was amenable to "dating" me, so she invited me to her house to hang out after school a few days later. When I got there I was beyond clueless. We ended up watching TV and doing homework. Probably three times she'd look at me and say something to the effect of "so........now what" or "it's good that we're able to hang out here all alone?" I just kind of grinned and nodded, and didn't even touch her once.

A week later she'd moved on to another guy and I was still watching scrambled Skinemax on cable.

Mmmmm... SNC on of my favorite childhood memories.

"Hey I think that was a boob."

During the summer when I turned 16 my friend stole the vintage Mercedes out of his dad’s garage so we could drive across town to a mansion where some girls were housesitting. We arrived to find the girls out at the pool tipsy from champagne. There were 4 of us and 3 of them so it was one of those musical chairs scenarios were even in the best case, one of us was going to strike out. Sensing competition, and also because I was an idiot, I went into the house, entered the home gym, and franticly did push ups, pull ups, and pumped bicep curls in front of the mirrors trying to get as swole as possible in 3 minutes. Of course this was pointless because I weighed about 120 pounds in those days and had shoulders like a coat hanger but there I was pumping away.

When I came back out to the pool everyone was dying laughing. They showed me that the room I was in had one of those one-way mirrors where everyone on the outside could see in as soon as I turned on the light. Apparently I had put on quite a show.

Sometimes, though, the universe takes mercy on even a little greaseball like 16 year old me, and I later found myself upstairs in a bedroom with one of the girls. I remember that she kept calling me Arnold.

When we got back into the car to leave we shared our stories gleefully. 3 of us had hooked up and the one friend that hadn’t revealed that he had snuck into the mansion’s wine cellar and filled the Mercedes’s trunk with 30 bottles of expensive red wine. Alcohol was hard to come by in those days so this meant we would stay drunk all summer.

We drove back home that night feeling the kind of invincibility that only teenagers feel. We raced over hills and around bends at crazy speeds with the car going airborne more than once. We smoked and laughed and dreamed of the ultimate summer, Rick James’s “Mary Jane” blaring on the speakers.

When we arrived at my friend’s house and opened the trunk we realized that the wine bottles had all smashed together during our joyride. The trunk of the stolen Mercedes was a swimming pool of red wine that had leaked and soaked into the upholstery. We tried and tried but we couldn’t get it clean.

My friend that stole the car got busted by his dad and one of the other guys got busted too. They both got grounded for months. I somehow avoided punishment but both of my friends with cars were now grounded and my social life suffered. I ended up briefly dating a slightly chubby Puerto Rican girl named Myrna whose house was close enough to walk to.

It didn’t end up being the ultimate summer.

I was a fairly late starter. As of high school graduation, I hadn't so much as kissed a girl yet. Well a couple months later I finally got around to making a MySpace page (2005). I messaged some girl who lived in the area because she and I were the only people online at 4am that lived in the zip code.

After IMing for hours upon hours each night, we finally met two weeks later. I picked her up at her house and we went to my parent's house for dinner. Well after all that we drive to a park, and walk around to the play structure. I sit down on a platform that's about waist height. She says "well are we going to kiss?". Before I can answer, which I don't think I could have mustered words, she stepped in and started having at it. We probably made out for a good twenty minutes non stop. It was very surreal to me.

Next we take it to the car. We start out sitting in the front seats of my Accord. She leans over and the kissing resumes. Somehow my clumsy ass literally sticks my tongue into her nostril! It was very unromantic but we both got an hysterical laugh out of it.

Before long we move to the backseat. Now I knew intercourse was out of the question, as this girl was in love with Jesus! Somehow everything else was OK. So we're laying in the back in a side by side 69, I'm just fingering her while she sucks me. I remember being so shocked at how low the vaginal opening is. I think eventually she helped finish herself, and begin focusing on me. And I just couldn't finish. So i had to do it myself while it was still in her mouth. I always thought if by coming the second my pants were unzipped.

Well eventually we get back in the front seats, and next thing we know a cop is tapping on the steamed glass. He just told us the park was closed and we couldn't be there.

I was with her for two years. Didn't tap it for another year.

Strawberry Park, Pasadena, TX?

You know that cop was watching and getting his jollies before he finally tapped on the glass right?