whole way through....not sure how good I would've made it through without her

we broke-up when I was on house arrest---I was devestated (and still somewhat am)

Cool, that's badass.

Did you ever think about writing a letter to California telling him you didn't say anything, perhaps playing humble like apologizing or sending him a gift? This sounds pretty girlish but I'm just wondering if you're scared of him getting out or ordering a hit on you or something.

the problem is that tv only shows the highlights/big events

what they cannot capture is how long and draining it is

it's the non-event time that sucks as well...at least events give something for the mind to focus on
the rest of time is the brain being on alert and primed for fight-or-flee in a fear and/or aggressive state for 24 hours.

It's so draining.

I had lots of trouble watching American History X the first time post-prison. It captured the fear atmosphere as best as any. It also had a profound moment about how Ed Norton's family was also doing time. This is so true and might be non-obvious. My family and close friends went through alot of hell, too. Unfortunately, I somewhat realized this and it would really crush me mentally from time-to-time.

The key is to get the mind involved in some mindless task that can eat up time....like mastering chess openings.

prisoners and ex-prisoners cannot write letters to other prisoners


no, this never crossed my mind. A big hope of mine is to never come across him or anyone affiliated with him again.

There are NO friends in prison. Trying to foster that sort of relationship can only happen after many months between two guys serving long terms (such as Shawshank).

Also, it's a bad idea to reason with a psychopath.

Mt2tr,

How often would you and other inmates discuss the crimes you did to get into prison? Did you know of anyone you genuinely though of as innocent?

Illinois prisons
when I was there, smoking was legal if you over 18. Yes, that same Chris Churchill guy was incarcerated for life as a minor in adult facilities and couldn't smoke.
Many guys rolled their own, so it could take up more of their day.

I know of no prison staff muling in contrabands. MOst of the drug use in the prisons were prescribed drugs for the psychopaths (such as Thorazine) getting among the rest of the prisoners.

I wouldn't know too much about it, though, as I avoided the trouble-making types.

From what I know, the IDOC was really cleaned up after the mid-90s videos of Richard Speck doing plates full of coke.


FWIW, I completely understand why the guards act the way they do. Better that way than to be at-risk.

I also agree about the dregs of society statement.

very rarely would it be discussed in specific terms, just general

I was in for 'drugs.' That's about all anyone ever shared. Opening up with each other is a mistake. I never even shared where I lived or family members, etc. Although, everyone realized I had a girlfriend because other inmates receiving visits witnessed mine with her and they'd give me compliments about her looks.



I know of no one who I genuinely thought was innocent.

MT2R,

My bad for doubting you! Good thread, great read.

Do you agree with Robert Downey Jr.'s assessment that prisons serve nasty food to make prisoners as docile/harmless as possible? Fatten them up, if you will.

Also, if you flashed your street cred in Sports you may win more arguments out of sheer fear and respect.

I already liked him from when I rode an NHL pick of his that I would never in a million years have made myself, I don't even follow hockey, needless to say it won.

that would make sense, but might be too much of a conspiracy. Basically, they just gave us what any cafeteria does where the customers have no choice. As opposed to docile though, they did hand out koolaid that was highly anticipated/craved. Man, the stereotypes of african-americans and koolaid and milk have a large portion of truth.

The cafeteria in Joliet was this room

It's actually two rooms side by side to shuffle inmates in and out quicker. At the top corner is a gun parapet. The first shot is a warning in a fight. The second hits someone or the guard is fired. There are bullets in the walls. It's intimidating

LOLLERSKATES

Mt2r,

What is your initial reaction when you hear liberal types talking about how prisons are too brutal for the prisoners? Also when conservative types talk about how prisons are not strict enough on their inmates? Just some of your initial reactions when you run into these types of attitudes if this makes sense at all.

In 1995 Texas prisons began serving soy burgers instead of real beef. Probably made the switch because it's cheaper and studies have shown that consumption of soy raises estrogen levels which likely make one more docile.

both sides are right....... and wrong

there are too many drug and drunk driving guys in prisons

however, there are some really bad people who deserve a barbaric lifestyle and lots of caging.

States should have many levels of prisons (beyond max-mid-min). Illinois does a decent job with things like supermax, but the problem is prisons are now an industry. There is no incentive to kick out guys who don't belong other than budgetary shortfalls.

I am pro-death penalty now and I wasn't before. Some guys are just more harm than they are worth.


As far as too brutal, these aren't chain gangs or anything. I was in quite an old school prison and it seemed better than one could imagine given the crimes most people had committed.

There just needs to be more work on alternatives for people expected to rejoin society again. The thieves, drug addicts, drug sellers, etc need a plan better than warehousing. The murders, rapists, etc should just be caged.

just my rambling two cents

that's a cool factoid

Do you carry around a lot of biterness for the ordeal? Do you view it as a mistake you made or just bad luck and a crappy system?