That is pretty stingy of that bitch to try to pocket HIS money!

maybe thats what kept them together for the last 20 years

I'd love to know the context where a potluck wedding isn't stingy.

Maybe you missed the bolded. It seems they were trying to get the kids to save their money. Not stingy at all IMO. Simply how they set their priorities, and we have no idea why they believed that way or what influenced their decision.

So you paid for your own wedding? Good for you if you did.

Expecting someone else to pay for your wedding is absolutely a feeling of entitlement. It may be customary; it may be nice; it may be traditional; but in no way is it mandatory (some cultures excepted).

I think you're wrong to assume that stinginess involves a mandatory, physical, refusal to pay for something.

My post remains the most stingy mindset I have ever encountered. The idea that someone who could afford not to would hold a "Potluck wedding" is absolutely outrageous.

Can you afford not to without them helping out? I don't see what the problem is.

"The stingiest thing you've ever seen someone do"

Let's try this again,
My in-laws thought that a POTLUCK WEDDING was reasonable and normal, and tried to dissuade us from providing a dinner.

If that doesn't make sense as a post in this thread. Warmest regards, but I see no reason to continue this conversation.

Did you at least have an open bar at the wedding?

Yes. All drinks.

If they told you they weren't paying anything at all anyway, it makes no difference (re: stinginess) as to what they tried to talk you into serving your guests.

There is bound to be an OOT thread regarding poor relationships with parents and/or in-laws somewhere.

I BELIEVE I SAID GOOD DAY!

Having a potluck wedding is pretty insane, but I do like the idea of saving money on the wedding to take an epic honeymoon. As long as there's open bar, decent food and good music, everything else is whatever for me.

I didn't miss he bolded. It's irrelevant. The idea that someone should have a potluck wedding is stingy.

And yes stinginess is related to wanting to save money being a persons biggest priority.

Not that stingy if you consider the fact a stingy person wouldnt even have a wedding in the first place.

I have attended a potluck wedding in the past five years. There was extensive stinge discussion in my peer group about this wedding.

My wife and I had a potluck wedding.

We had been together 6 years, living together the whole time. We'd already owned our house for 3 years.

She had an aunt coming in from our of country. We planned a wedding in her moms backyard in like 2 weeks, invited only family and told them to dress for a bbq, asked a few people to bring specific things, explicitly told everyone not to bring gifts at all.

I think the whole things cost less than $1000, about $400 went to the license and JP for the ceremony. We had beer and drinks and had a nice bbq.

We met friends later at a bar downtown for drinks.

We're far from stingy, we just didn't care to have any kind of big wedding at all

Questions about possible stinginess:

Where are you from and how much is the appropriate amount of cash to put in a wedding card from a couple, iyo? Presume no extenuating circumstances.

This one might be my extravagance, not their stinginess but,

Yep, not at all entitled.

A wedding is not a money making event. Or net worth gaining.

It's weird you used the burden to love ones as a reason to give a lot of money, but didn't think it also works the other way around.

Hey auntie, you babysitted me all the time as a kid and I am getting married so you should come. But make sure you realize that we are spending 100 a head on this so don't come if you can give a gift >100. Sorry. That would be rude.

I love you but I love making money off you more.

1. Is it potluck if you provided the main course and all the drinks? Asking your Mom to make your favourite dish isn't the same as asking your guests.

2. Lots of extenuating circumstances in your post. Weren't having a traditional wedding, family only, no gifts, etc.

3. Didn't you feel weird having people fly in and then being like, "can you grab some potato salad on your way from the airport?"

$5-$25 is certainly stingy where I am. If you make the card yourself, though, there's no need to throw in any cash. It's the thought and effort that counts.

As a fellow Manitoban, thank you for not having a social and expecting a bunch of people you know to pay for your wedding.

Kristy,

How much do you think a wedding ring should cost relative to household or the husbands income

I see what you're saying, my post requires clarification.

You simply do your level-best to estimate based on the venue, the time, etc. It is not spoken, and a bit of a guessing game.

Parent's backyard at sunrise, reception at brunch...probably slightly less.

Fancy, much sought after, venue with dinner and reception at high end hotel, slightly more.

How do you decide what to put in? Flat amount?