Yeah seriously wtf man, not even close to standard. Please do not even think about letting this abominable behavior be passed on to you, its pretty awful.

good thing no kids were abducted, your mum would be screwed

Yep, think she pushed the boundaries a bit. She grew up on a farm so maybe she thought it was standard for kids to walk long distances a lot.

I think there is some life value in kids not expecting to be chaffeured everywhere and gaining an appreciation for being transported around. Also, the physical benefits of walking are pretty significant.

Anyone else have folks that rarely dropped kids off at their destination?

His stories are obviously great, and very funny. I just think his dad sounds like a miserable dude to be stuck around. But cool dig, 27! You have now reached the 33rd degree of Internet Forum Posting Mastery.

From playing BJ.

Just fyi, the reason why I've been slow on posting these stories is because I have a few stories that are so ridic that if I post them first, anything after will be a let down. So I'm really trying to rack my brain for my B+ stories before I unload the gold.

OK, here's one that's pretty loltastic. So my parents got divorced when I was two, and they had a pretty ugly 80's style divorce, but by the time of my Bar Mitzvah, they had become relatively cordial. My mother did pretty much all of the planning for it (it was in Chicago, where I was raised, with her) but both of them split the expenses. During the planning a few months prior, they had a conversation on the phone about the expenses and it got pretty heated. Went a li'l something like this:

Mom: "Ok, next on the list, the video camera guy. It's xxx dollars."
Dad: "Whoa wait, that's way too much! Do we really need a camera guy?"
Mom: "Of course we do. It's standard to hire someone to tape the party."
Dad: "Wait, I know! I'll bring my camera and I'll record it!" (my dad was one of those dads who always had the camcorder going at every second of the day. Think Stan's dad from the Pandemic episode)
Mom: "Bob, you're not going to record your own son's Bar Mitzvah!"
Dad: "Why not? I'm great with the camera. It'll be fun!!"
Mom: "Because, goddammit, you need to be a part of it, not be recording it."
Dad: "I can do both!"

So it gets more and more heated and finally ends with:

Dad: "Look, it's way too much money to spend on something I can do myself. I refuse to chip in for this camera guy."
Mom: "Fine, have it your way, Bob. But if you don't split this with me, you're not getting a copy of the tape."
Dad: "Then I'd better bring my own camera then, hadn't I?"

So the day comes, and sure enough at the reception, my dad was walking around the whole time with his big ass old school camcorder, taping everything. And to prove that he could multitask, he's taping while eating, taping while doing the chicken dance, taping while partaking in the conga line, taping while doing the ol' lifting me up in a chair bit, and **** you not, taping whilst getting his limbo rock on.

And just like the camera guy we hired, he went around to every single table with a mic going, "Say something to the Bar Mitzvah boy." People were absolutely bewildered as to why they were doing this again after the other camera guy had already hit them up. I remember my friends asking me why on earth my dad was recording the reception and I really had no answer for them.

The topper: On my copy of the Bar Mitzvah tape (the professionally done one) there is a part about 90 minutes in, where it's a pan of the banquet hall and dance floor, and the camera finds my dad, about 4 feet away, doing a pan of his own. My dad pans to the pro's camera, and there's this priceless moment when both cameras meet, and my dad reacts to this by putting his camera down, and opening his arms and laughing at our camera guy as if to say, "Look at this hilarious moment we're sharing right now! Just a couple of camera dudes doing our thang." It's an incredibly awesome and cheesy response, like straight out of an 80's sitcom opening montage. It's complete with the whole palms up shoulder shrug and head shake.

There's no way that getting a dig in at you is worthy of any higher than a single digit degree of mastery

You're Jewish?

You must make a .gif of that, or at least link me the video so I can

I have it only in VHS form at the moment and I suck at teh technologies. Plus trainwrecking my pops would really be taking this to a whole new level that morally I'm not sure I'm ready to go to. I really do love the guy a ton. But we'll see.

How does one get from VHS to interwebz?

Don't do it (much though I agree it would be funny). He's your father. Anonymous stories are one thing but video quite another.

Anyone else already concocted a fully-developed mental image of DD's dad? From just the few stories he's told, I've been able to pretty much decipher what he looks like.

No, several promotions were previously earned for his long-standing Yambag thread and his "I bought an awesome fire pit" thread.

Hell I've already concocted a irl name for the guy, Harry Shnoikelberg.

DD, I thought my Dad was cool, but yours sounds AWESOME. I am jealous.

No, he's one of those non-Jews that just has a bar mitzvah for the hell of it.

And theater hopping will now be known as the "Shnoikelberg Special."

:-) twas a joke

There is a big big difference between telling your own kid to walk somewhere and being part of a car pool.

holy **** had my dad found out that a mum had dropped either me or other kids off blocks away from our homes to walk, she woulda been in serious trouble... bad temper daddy

I'm kinda with PHB inasmuch as DD's dad sounds like a really inconsiderate and unaware person and just from these stories (which are great and MOAR PLZ) I kinda hate him the most ever. It's one thing just to be cheap, but he's past that into just being ******edly stubborn and making other people's lives difficult.

eh, I don't see DD's dad sounds like a dick, like so many in this thread have obviously been. He just seems quirky as **** and does cheap stuff as almost some kind of hobby. To me its more pathetic in ways than meanspirited.

Now, maybe I'm just a misogynist because some of the stuff women have done ITT makes me want to punch them in the face.

I feel like DD's dad could be on some episode of Montel or Dr Phil for clinical *****rdliness.

I knew a guy who folded KK pre-flop for a $15 reraise on 1/2 NL because he "knew he was beat".

Come on man, I'm just saying you're one of the nittyest guys on here in general and on a wide-ranging array of subjects.


I still can't believe i post on an internet forum. Pretty gay.

If I found your burnt corpse I'd light it on fire again.

of course it would be super annoying, but DD has done an amazing job of personalizing him and making me think I'd like him despite all that annoyingness. Been reading this thread off and on but now subscribed for more DD goodness!