Always flush after #2, though. I don't care if a whale dies from it.

what?

If it's brown flush it down, if it's yellow let it mellow?

Why didn't he just get a boat captain to help him pick up chicks?

I try to avoid poopin anywhere that isn't home.

Maybe she was a big fatty?

Recent posts have reminded me that my grandpa used to check how many peices of toilet papet you used and then yell at you if he thought you used too much, but I bitched him out first time he did this to me and he stopped.

My wife's grandmother was the stingiest person on earth. She would buy items at the thrift shop for 0.25 so she could sell them at her garage sale for 0.30. She was NOT stingy with TP. Paid top price for the best, always.

"I've used enough cobs in my life, I am not using rough toliet paper."

I don't think she hid the good stuff from her guests.

Nope, only a little smaller than typical bath towels. Maybe 25" by 55". It was a diarrheal **** so that could have explained it. Not a fatty either. Nice body but meh face. I had sex with her after her epic shite, but I made her take a shower first (obv).

Since it's a TP thread now, I can post this bumper sticker I enjoyed last week:

"Opposed to logging? Try plastic toilet paper!"

(Maine plates, ldo)

Hey guys. I've thoroughly enjoyed this thread, even aside from the craptastic derails. I just started reading it a few days ago and have been dying to post in it but wanted to read the whole thread through before posting.

If we're defining stingy as going out of one's way to save a petty amount of $$$, then my father is easily the stingiest human to ever exist. Although frankly, I don't feel like stingy is really the appropriate word because stingy to me hints at doing it in a begrudging, miserly way, like not wanting to give a bum a penny or something. But my dad embraces it with absolute gusto. Getting great deals, finding the cheapest price, trying to get something for free, looking for loopholes, it is truly one of my father's passions, and I vascillate between being disgusted and amazed at the creatively great lengths he goes to to achieve his free swag dreams.

He is a total video poker addict and has more player points at Vegas casinos (especially Terrible Herbst) than he will ever be able to spend in a lifetime. 95% of the t-shirts he owns are from promotional things that he got for free; casino giveaways, conventions in town he sneaks into, etc.

I have many, many tales I regale my friends with about his zestful frugality but have been majorly debating whether or not to post them in this thread. On one hand I really do feel bad, because in spite of him being the way he is, he has done countless wonderful things for me and been a great father and has never left me wanting. On the other hand, they're downright hilarious and I feel any one of a number of them could be in the running for thread winnar and I'm not even kidding.

His generosity has always come with his taste for getting a sweet deal, for example, when I was a kid, we ate out most meals, but where to eat was determined by what we had a coupon for in the Entertainment Book, and I could only order something if we could use the coupon for it.

At the end of every meal, when taking leftovers, my dad will take the rolls from the bread basket and also scoop out the butter, etc. He will often ask for another basket of bread just to take for leftovers. No joke, he once did this because he liked how this place served their bread hot and fresh out of the oven. But when it arrived, he sent it back because it had cooled off. Yep, he wanted a hotter, fresher basket of bread to go.

Speaking of Entertainment Books, he buys them in bulk (and therefore cheaper) at the beginning of the year and then re-sells them to his friends at the market rate.

About a year ago, a friend and I were in Vegas and had plans to hit up a certain golf course that I'd remembered when I was a kid, my dad had a 2fer for (about a $30 value) in the Entertainment Book. My dad hasn't golfed in years. We were all grabbing lunch and I asked him if that coupon was in his current book and if we could use it, and he said sure no problem. The next morning, before giving me the coupon, he asked if I'd be willing to give him $15 for it and that way he'd make $15 and I'd still be saving $15. Yeah, he wanted to make a profit on a coupon he'd never use. What am I going to say, no?

Now these are not the gems I previously promised, just a bit of background to give you an idea of what he's like. If there is interest, maybe I'll come up with a top ten story list and post one story a day?

Dude, there is interest. Start posting.

If this doesn't even scratch the surface, this thread is certainly going to rally once again. More please.

poast them already imo

moar your dad stories itt!

am i getting thsi right, he sold you a 30$ coupon for 15$ and you call him terribly stingy? really?

He had 0% chance of using it himself and its his DAD ffs.

You don't see how this is terribly stingy? really?

selling coupons to family members is pretty much the definition of stingy.

dude we get it. you are a stingy unfriendly person.. and yes it is very stingy to ask your son for money for a coupon you wouldnt have used anyway.

If you get something for free or just have it and have no intention of using it, yet you refuse to give it to one of your closest relatives unless he pays for it thats absolutely stingy and actually a bit douchy imo.

Did she use a clean towel to dry off?

Double Down - dad stories, please.

im prolly stingy, but i dont see how this would make me unfriendly.

just look @ it from the other side. you own something worth 30$.
now a relative from you comes to you and wants, no expects it for free,( actually thats the douchy part of the story) and therefore puts you in this bad spot where u can only lose. either you lose 30$ or you are called stingy/unfriendly. you choose to make a balancing move, you get 15$, your son saves 15$ and everybody should be happy.
btw i assume the son is earning his own money.
all this blaming of you is argumented with "yea he wont use it anyway so its worth 0$ for him". but you dont know this. i mean maybe he has a friend @ work who uses to golf there and he wants to give it to him @ his birthday, or maybe sell it to him as well for 15-20$.
the stingy one is they guy asking another one to have sth. for absolutely free.
sorry guys, but this topic just tilts me to hell, i have a friend who does this ALL the time. "hey its just 1 drink, dont be that stingy" "hey its just 10$ for the cab, just pay him" "hey its just 20miles extra to drive for you, whats 20miles worth in gas? dont be that stingy"

story of my dad.
he went to a store and saw that his favorite coffee was half off. so he bought like 4 packs of it. when it was his turn to pay, they told him this was an auction from last week, and therefore he cant have it for half the price.
so he went together with the employee (while several people had to wait) back where the coffee was and showed him that it still says that the coffee is -50%. he still had to pay full but got the 2$ later from the employee, im guessing he paid it out of his pocket .

Nothing stingy about this.

In my country, the store would actually have to honour the promotion by law.

this totally mind boggling to me do you or do you not understand what a coupon is and that its usually given out with out a charge. Imo selling something of basicly no value that you didnt have to pay for to a close relative ( or actually anybody for that natter) is very stingy how can you not realize that.
I fully understand your perspective, but imo its the perspective of a stingy person. If someone trys to take advantage of you all the time thats of course a different story.