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Old 02-09-2012, 11:02 AM   #61
 
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

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Eating lunch with 2 co-workers, one of them being of the d-bag/a-hole variety, and the other a pretty good friend of mine. We are shooting the **** when the d-bag burps loudly and laughs. I say to my friend, "Do you suddenly smell semen?"
HAHAHAHA BECAUSE HE SUCKS DICK, RIGHT?
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Old 02-09-2012, 11:06 AM   #62
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

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Constant erection = sickest burn
Chaffing =! burning.
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Old 02-09-2012, 11:53 AM   #63
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

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Old 02-09-2012, 01:06 PM   #64
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

senior year, ap gov, we were in class working in groups of 4 on some project. was me, my girlfriend, and two friends, and we got started talking about what kind of cars we would be if we were cars. my girlfriend said something stupid like a miata or something, and i say "nah, you'd definitely be a pinto cause if you get hit from behind you explode." my friends stood up and started doing a slow clap, which obviously drew attention and the teacher (who was the man) asked what happened. they tell him what i said, and he and the rest of the guys in the room all stood and joined in the slow clap while i got the most disgusted looks from all the women. that was a fun class.
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Old 02-09-2012, 01:43 PM   #65
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

One of my buddies since high school is huge. Like 6 foot 10ish and weighs who knows what. Just a huge kid. Ever since I can remember when we go out people always come up and ask him how tall he is, does he play football and just ignorant annoying questions. This kid has always been self conscious about how big he is and you can tell it bothers him. It always pissed me off when people would come up to him like while we are eating out and ask him stupid **** about his size.

A couple years ago we had just turned 21 and were eating dinner and having some drinks at a bar. The bar is a box so you can see the people across from you. I've had a couple drinks and am drinking legally at a bar, I'm feeling good. This ugly older woman who you can tell is a regular and just an awful human being yells across the table "How tall are you?" Before my friend can respond I shout back "What cup size is your bra?" She is taken back and looks shocked. I ask again "What size are your tits?" She slunked back in her chair and hopefully I shut her up for the rest of the night.
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Old 02-09-2012, 01:48 PM   #66
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

I was thinking I must have a really bad memory cuz I cant really recall any specifics of my sick burns, but I know ive had a billion, cuz I constantly sick burn people.

Reading this thread tho, I realize that the reason a bunch of the people in this thread can remember theirs is because they are really really bad at sick burns, so if they even came close to one it stands out in their mind.
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Old 02-09-2012, 01:48 PM   #67
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

you guys end up making the most lopsided eiffel tower?
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Old 02-09-2012, 02:01 PM   #68
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

drunkenly yo momma'ing each other on the way to the bar, the night after goodie banged a whale:

"yo mommas so fat, goodie had sex with her"
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Old 02-09-2012, 05:54 PM   #69
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

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you guys end up making the most lopsided eiffel tower?
I'm assuming eiffel tower is the same as and A frame. In which case, A+.
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Old 02-09-2012, 06:10 PM   #70
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

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I told my ex-wife she would die alone, unwanted and unloved.
And then you tied her to a tree in the middle of a forest.
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Old 02-09-2012, 06:12 PM   #71
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

Most of these are cringeworthy and not sick burns.
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Old 02-09-2012, 06:13 PM   #72
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

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I was thinking I must have a really bad memory cuz I cant really recall any specifics of my sick burns, but I know ive had a billion, cuz I constantly sick burn people.
this is exactly me.
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Old 02-09-2012, 06:13 PM   #73
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

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omg this thread is AIDS
is that your opinion of this thread or a sick burn you delivered?
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Old 02-09-2012, 06:13 PM   #74
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

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your brain has a thick candy shell
Your head's the one that's got the...shell...on it.
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Old 02-09-2012, 08:37 PM   #75
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

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Originally Posted by Alobar View Post
I was thinking I must have a really bad memory cuz I cant really recall any specifics of my sick burns, but I know ive had a billion, cuz I constantly sick burn people.

Reading this thread tho, I realize that the reason a bunch of the people in this thread can remember theirs is because they are really really bad at sick burns, so if they even came close to one it stands out in their mind.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noah. View Post
Most of these are cringeworthy and not sick burns.
these

imo, the best burns are usually among a group of friends and the burn is somewhat of an inside joke, so a bunch of randoms on a forum won't appreciate
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