There are plenty of contenders for worst story itt but this one is a repeat. A goddam repeat.

Once, i was smoking a cig and pressed it accidently against my mates arm. Scarred him

Another time, me n gf was doing fryup and splashed oil on her. tssss

lold

icwudt

well i has sex with your wife!

Coworker of mine once commented that the beard I was sporting at the time made me look like the kind of person who hung out in bushes waiting to grab little kids walking by.

I told him that just because he caught me hanging out in his mother's bush, doesn't mean I like to hang out in bushes in general.

Constant erection = sickest burn

I don't get this, what is the punch line?

It's so bad I can't stop laughing.

Although the practice is illegal throughout much of western civilization, there are women who will perform sexual acts in exchange for money. They are called prostitutes, or more colloquially, hookers. The stereotypical sales technique of a hooker is to stand on a street corner, usually wearing lots of makeup, high heels, and a skimpy outfit that leaves very little to the imagination. While in polite society such an outfit would generally be considered "tacky", or in poor taste, the intended result is to stimulate the lascivious impulses of men in the hope that they will stop at the street corner and inquire as to the price of the hooker's services. I believe MD was insinuating that his classmate was prostituting herself on the weekend, and wanted to know which street corner she was working.

what is a divorced license plate?

omg this thread is AIDS

This needs much more of a story.

Eating lunch with 2 co-workers, one of them being of the d-bag/a-hole variety, and the other a pretty good friend of mine. We are shooting the **** when the d-bag burps loudly and laughs. I say to my friend, "Do you suddenly smell semen?"