I don't believe calling it "footy" will ever not sound weird.

I hate you so much for bumping this thread, but it does make me laugh hard that hardball is the OP responsible for this mess.

Playing at a home game a few years ago and a mid twenties guy comes in with a girl my friend used to date. He sits down to play and she leaves. He goes on a 30 minute rant of all the sex they have and the different ways they do it. When he finished I say "You know she has herpes right?" he turned beet red and everyone started laughing. Good times she really had it btw

Oh look, I have a fan.

Herpes is a sick burn.

Years ago when I was single, I'm out with some friends at our usual bar on a Sunday afternoon. I'm sitting on a barstool and this guy comes in with his GF. They sit down next to me. After a while, he is shooting pool or something and she strikes up a convo with me. After a few minutes, she is laughing and putting her hand on my leg, flirting heavily.... (yes I am that good) and her BF starts to get a little pissed. He comes back over to the bar to try to assert his dominance.

convo goes like this:

Him: Hey man what's your name? (kinda aggravated)

Her: This is pokerbobo, pokerbobo this is douchebag.

Him: So pokerbobo... what do you do.

Me: I'm in sales.

Him: Oh yeah, (he said in a condescending fashion) I'm in sales too.... I work for a manufacturer's rep. (he said arrogantly)

Me: That's cool, I'm a regional sales manager.... I hire and fire manufacturer's reps.

WOW SICK BRO

Here's a picture of what the manufacturer's rep guy looked like after pokerbobo got done with him:

Assistant to the regional sales manager.