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Old 02-08-2012, 09:22 PM   #1
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"Sick" "Burns" You've Delivered IRL

What were some of the sickest burns you've dished out to people in conversation? It could be with friends, enemies, strangers, co-workers, weirdos at a club trying to pick up your girlfriend, whatever.

The best one I remember was about six years ago to a very macho and homophobic friend of mine at a party. The subject turned to men's health and testicular cancer. He was saying how checking your own balls on a regular basis is very important in addition to getting your physical.

Being the sick minded ****er that I am, I asked him, "have you ever looked down and saw four testicles?" Everybody erupts in laughter. I don't think I've ever seen him that embarrassed and angry. LOL
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Old 02-08-2012, 09:25 PM   #2
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

Do you like apples?
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Old 02-08-2012, 09:28 PM   #3
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

No; if you were my father, I'd be a lot uglier.
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Old 02-08-2012, 09:29 PM   #4
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

My ex had a baby with down's syndrome. She put pictures of him up on Flickr. Under one picture I commented "It's almost a boy!".
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Old 02-08-2012, 09:34 PM   #5
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

This doochey looking guy joined in a middle of a group conversation about how many girls everyone has slept with. He talked about how he has f ed all these girls and his number being close to 30.

I didnt doubt him by any means but I told him..

Spoiler:
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Old 02-08-2012, 09:37 PM   #6
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

One time this guy called me a pussy and I said "You are what you eat" and his mom was right there.
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Old 02-08-2012, 09:37 PM   #7
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

Quote:
Originally Posted by Teebor View Post
My ex had a baby with down's syndrome. She put pictures of him up on Flickr. Under one picture I commented "It's almost a boy!".
woooooooooooooooooow

Last edited by Alobar; 02-08-2012 at 09:37 PM. Reason: wp sir!
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Old 02-08-2012, 09:46 PM   #8
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

...and I said, "*exactly* like a slot machine".
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Old 02-08-2012, 10:05 PM   #9
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

Quote:
Originally Posted by Teebor View Post
My ex had a baby with down's syndrome. She put pictures of him up on Flickr. Under one picture I commented "It's almost a boy!".
Oh, WOW lol. Chalk this one up to the "I'm going to hell" comments.

Quote:
Originally Posted by triplej2688 View Post
This doochey looking guy joined in a middle of a group conversation about how many girls everyone has slept with. He talked about how he has f ed all these girls and his number being close to 30.

I didnt doubt him by any means but I told him..

Spoiler:
A+ zinger.
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Old 02-08-2012, 10:07 PM   #10
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

The jerk store called, theyre running out of you!
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Old 02-08-2012, 10:21 PM   #11
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

Wasn't delivered by me, but the best burn I've heard irl:

This guy at work (obvious closet case) is going on and on about how good all these dudes on his recreational soccer team are. Coworker says "so is it hard to play soccer with a constant erection?"
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Old 02-08-2012, 10:26 PM   #12
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

I know you are...
Spoiler:
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Old 02-08-2012, 11:10 PM   #13
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

thats a weird looking dog
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Old 02-08-2012, 11:22 PM   #14
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

that is my child
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Old 02-08-2012, 11:23 PM   #15
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Re: Sick Burns You've Delivered IRL

Quote:
Originally Posted by dkgojackets View Post
thats a weird looking dog
Spoiler:


edit: pony = slow
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