What were some of the sickest burns you've dished out to people in conversation? It could be with friends, enemies, strangers, co-workers, weirdos at a club trying to pick up your girlfriend, whatever.

The best one I remember was about six years ago to a very macho and homophobic friend of mine at a party. The subject turned to men's health and testicular cancer. He was saying how checking your own balls on a regular basis is very important in addition to getting your physical.

Being the sick minded ****er that I am, I asked him, "have you ever looked down and saw four testicles?" Everybody erupts in laughter. I don't think I've ever seen him that embarrassed and angry. LOL

Do you like apples?

No; if you were my father, I'd be a lot uglier.

My ex had a baby with down's syndrome. She put pictures of him up on Flickr. Under one picture I commented "It's almost a boy!".

This doochey looking guy joined in a middle of a group conversation about how many girls everyone has slept with. He talked about how he has f ed all these girls and his number being close to 30.

I didnt doubt him by any means but I told him..

One time this guy called me a pussy and I said "You are what you eat" and his mom was right there.

woooooooooooooooooow

...and I said, "*exactly* like a slot machine".

Oh, WOW lol. Chalk this one up to the "I'm going to hell" comments.

A+ zinger.

The jerk store called, theyre running out of you!

Wasn't delivered by me, but the best burn I've heard irl:

This guy at work (obvious closet case) is going on and on about how good all these dudes on his recreational soccer team are. Coworker says "so is it hard to play soccer with a constant erection?"

I know you are...

thats a weird looking dog

that is my child

edit: pony = slow