Wow, ACG, that is a really messed up interview. So unprofessional from that b*tch.

When she said "short answers" I would have gotten upset and kept everything to "Yes.", "No.", etc.

Then after her being like "Well, OK, sir...I don't appreciate your blase attitude here. Thank you for coming in today." I would have knocked books and boxes off of tables as I was walking out of the office. Then turned back and said "Do you validate?"

"Can you please make these answers really short, as short as possible?"

"Goodbye" is pretty short.

Incidentally, has OOT had a "Tell us about the worst job you ever did" thread?

Summer after high school.

I applied for a warehouse job at CVS, loading boxes onto trucks. So I got a job offer, but I had to pass a drug test first. Night before the test, my mom made a batch of poppyseeed muffins. Naturally, I ate like 5-6. Didn't think anything of it.

Next day, after the piss test, I'm at home eating lunch with my mom and sister. And my sister says, "did you eat all those poppyseed muffins?".

"Yup.", I say.

"You idiot. Didn't you see that episode of Seinfeld? You're gonna fail your drug test. LOL." she says.

My mom's eyes get big. "What, what are talking about?", she says.

"Ummm, poppies. Ummm, opium", sister says.

My mom starts freaking out. Yelling at me. She calls the health center and asks if eating poppyseed muffins can cause you to test positive for opium. A nurse tells her it's possible. She can't believe it.

So about 2 days later, I get a phone call from the CVS supervisor. Drug test = pass. Ship!

ooooooooh big man. you seem cool

i have an interview at 10am. about 4am some friends burst into my room and shove natty lite in my face. ugh wtf. these clowns had decided to drive to clevelanad from nj in the middle of the night to "see what i was up to." "i got a fckn interview you azzholes." "shotgun this bich." "ok."

was for an internship but it was kinda important interview since it was my only chance, despite being in the internship program at college. otherwise i would be taking classes and really not fulfilling program reqs. this was like 2003 so companies werent really hiring.

anyway, obv i get the job. proly didnt even make the top 10 of most messed up i showed up there anyway.

That is hilarious, Kurt!

Just so I can get the entire picture correct, which PA Starbucks was this at? I'm picturing the one on El Camino by the Stanford campus...

The saving grace for me was this job, location-wise, wasn't super high on my list of places to work. I live in a suburb of St. Paul and this place was in downtown Minneapolis, about a 30 min. drive with lite traffic, but during rush hour probably around an hour at best.

I was in disbelief as I drove home and even when I came to my office that was closing the next day for work. Everyone for the most part knew when everyone else was having an interview (people as you'd expect were leaving on a weekly basis) and asked me how it went. Their jaws practically dropped when I told them.

This is the biggest douchebag, worthless, ******ed question ever. I never know why employers ask it. Are they expecting an honest answer? Maybe they're just seeing how great of a bull****ter you are.

I was asked this question at my first and only interview ever. It completely caught me off guard. I played it off like a joke and said, "Wow......what a question.............you know what? i don't have a weakness. I am absolutely perfect at everything." The girl thought it was pretty funny, I got the job, and the rest is history.

Hate to just copy/paste stuff from my blog, but I wrote this in high school and it got picked up by collegehumor, so it's probably worth a read.


My 2 hours as a Cutco Kid
alternatively titled
Survivor: Room With No Air Conditioning

The day began at 12:15 in the afternoon. When I woke up. Because that's how days start. I took a shower, ate half a pop-tart that somehow found its way into my bed the night before, and hit up the classifieds. Singer? No. Plumber? No. Singing Plumber? Damn these specialized jobs! I was about to give up hope, when suddenly-

"FUN JOB, 17.5$/HR, NO EXPERIENCE NEEDED, CALL KATRINA."

Fun job, you say? 17.5 dollars an hour, you say? Katrina, you say? Intreguing.

I call, half expecting the whole thing to be some practical joke set up by a stripper named Katrina who's pretty talented with ping pong balls given half the chance and just might come back to my house and entertain my friends and me for a nominal price. But no, it's just a regular job, something about 'entry level sales.' So I get an interview, put on some decent clothes (read: pants), and hit the road.

The place was in chaos. Techno music blared as I was tossed into a hot-as-balls room full of scared high schoolers, shifty looking old men, and the occasional crack addict. So we each fill out a form, take a seat, and split into groups of three for a preliminary interview. Now I'm in a tiny office with a large black man on my left and a creepy nerdy kid on my right. Clearly I'm outgunned. The interviewer fires off question after question, skipping between the three of us at random.

Was I ever found guilty of a felony? Ha, an easy one. No.
What are my top two qualities? Maybe a joke. Overall awesomeness and modesty.
Why do I want to work here? Bull**** time. To gain real-world experience.

I smell urine. I don't think it's me. I look down to make sure.

Do I have experience in sales? Oh ****. Think, Rick, think! Uhhh... no. Brilliant.

So then comes the weird part. But it started off normally - we sat back down in the big room and watched an hour long presentation about the job we're applying for. Wait, you mean I'm selling knives? This is the shadiest thing ever. And it was, but the auctioneer delivering the speech wasn't about to let us talk, much less think. Then things started getting really weird. He tells a couple of potentials to "leave the room and get Bill," then says "they aren't coming back." Images of an assassin named Bill flash through my mind before the speaker clarifies, "They're just not what the company is looking for." What is this, Survivor? I didn't know he could vote people out of the room! I buckle down in my metal chair and pray I can at least last the rest of this nightmare.

So Jeff Probst up there finishes talking and has us fill out some extra forms. Then he calls me back to his office for a "private interview." I step in and close the door behind me, fearing for my life and anal virginity.

"So, Rick, I think you're exactly what we're looking for here. I just have a few questions left to ask you."
"Ok."
"Can you start work immediately?"
"Sure."
"Good. I think you'll make a lot of money here. And second, on a scale of one to ten, how badly do you want this job?"
"Honestly? About a six."
(Pause)
"So you'll take it?"



And so I had a job. For two hours, at least.
Before I came home, read about how much of a scam it really is, and quit.
Ah, such is life.

And if anybody from the Cutco Co. is reading this - It's all a joke, really.

No disrespect to you in the least bit.

Honestly.

Please don't send Bill.

Haha pennpal. I remember when I was a high schooler I was browsing the internet for a job and came across those guys. Shipped them my resume and the same day I got a phone call with the standard "We think you'd be a great addition to our team" or whatever. They were very vague about what the job actually was but I was just happy to have an interview. Told my mom about it, she was very skeptical, and because of that I looked them up online. Ended up skipping the interview. Thank you mom, you saved me a couple of hours of my life.

I interviewed with Aflac. I didnt realize it was a salesman position until I got there, so I was disappointed. After finding out it was a salesman position, I let the interviewer know I don't think this is a good fit for me. He goes into this with ..
him- well the Aflac company is a great company, I was in the same position you were. I absolutely love working here, in fact I love the duck. (he pulls out a small stuffed duck animal, the Aflac mascot)
me- yeah, I'm sure its a great company, but this isn't what I'm looking for
him- alright, well thanks for coming in then, the duck will be disappointed
me-*i laugh at the duck comment* and start to walk out the door
him- QUACK !!

I stopped, did this guy really just quack at me? im positive he did, i looked back, and the guy was sitting there holding his Aflac duck like it was real or somethin, and he just smiles at me. i continue to walk out again and he quacked again at me, this time i don't look back and just keep walking and got the hell out of there. So ya, the guy quacked at me twice, prolly the worst/most interesting interview experience of my life

lots of great stories in this thread, but this is the only one i seriously LOLed at. awesome.

imo, salesmen tend to think that people who aren't in sales/don't get into sales are afraid of putting themselves out there for that much rejection in exchange for that much possible reward. think he was taking a shot at you, calling you a pussy. look him up, go back to his office and hang the duck.

Pen I did the Cutco thing too. I remember the guy saying: "Don't act too excited walking out because a lot of people (in the reception area) didn't get the job" - LOL.

Unfortunately that's probably not one of my top 3-4 worst experiences....Behavioral style questions when I had very little experience was just uggh.

I had a second-round phone interview with HR at MGM Mirage, for their Management Associate Program. Basically, this is the company-wide manager training program for people coming out of college. Things were going well until we had the following exchange:

Him: What do you think is the future of the hospitality industry?
Me: What do I think is the future of the hospitality industry?
Him: Yes.
Me: The entire hospitality industry?
Him: Yes.
Me: Like, luxury hotels, and fast food restaurants, and bowling alleys?
Him: Yes.

Now that I'd made it all too clear that I thought his question was stupid and overbroad, I babbled something about how technology is increasing consumer choice and making people more informed, thereby increasing competition in the hospitality industry.

Ultimately, I made it through that round despite my flubbed answer, then got dropped after a phone interview with the slots division at Bellagio. The slots manager from the Bellagio was courteous enough to call me and tell me I'd been dropped (I told her I had a pending offer on hold because I preferred the MGM job) and I got a formal rejection letter in the mail shortly thereafter.

About a week later, I got a voicemail from MGM Mirage, telling me I had to report within 48 hours for my drug test. I called back, confused about why they wanted to drug test me after I'd already been rejected. They replied that I hadn't been dropped by MGM Mirage-- I'd just been dropped by the Bellagio. (NOT what the letter said.) By this time I'd taken the other offer, so I told them I was withdrawing and they could not have a lock of my hair.

Over the next couple of months, they sent me a second print rejection letter, and about eight automated rejection emails, in case it was unclear that they did not want me.

ya know what, I think you're right. I think that would make for an awesome trip report ..... I'm just crazy and unemployed enough to go do it too .....

I was interviewing for an associate position at a large law firm. I was put in a hotel for the night and flown about 1000+ miles for this interview. I felt like i was slightly underqualfied for this job but really wanted it and felt i at least had a shot. i did tons of research on the firm and was psyched and ready to go.

the interview consisted of 6 30 minute interviews with various partner and associates. first 30 minutes with first partner goes ok. second 30 minutes goes less good but still ok. then comes the third guy.

it immediately starts off awkward and this guy basically asks questions and doesnt comment on my answer. he made fun of my ny accent and then started talking about how he didnt think my experience was right for the firm. im laughing it off and trying to hang in there, but im starting to sweat and get nervous and just trying to kill this 30 minutes to get a neutral review from this douchebag. on my resume i had a list of classes that i had taken in law school that were relevant to corporate work.

he starts asking me about some of the classes on the resume, and i answer his questions. the problem is that i dropped one of the classes on the resume (corporate reorganization) 3 weeks into the semester to get into a different class, but i was enrolled in the class at the time i sent out the resume. so he asks me about corporate reorg and i have a tough choice. i can either say that i dropped the class or pretend i took it. we briefly went over corporate reorg stuff in a different class, and i figure that if i say that i dropped the class it might look like i lied on my resume. so i just make a few comments about some stuff i know about the subject and try and spin it like i went over that stuff while taking the class.

sadly, i didnt realize this guy was a specialist who only did corporate reorg and he proceded to ask my detailed questions about corporate reog stuff for the next 15 minutes. i get stuck giving yes or no answers and doing everything in my power to desperately change the subject. probably the worst 15 minutes of my life as i watch career collapse in front of my eyes.

at the end of the interview, in front of the 4th partner who came in to interview me, he says "here's some advice kid, you should smile in interviews and answer the questions asked of you". the next hour and a half was a formality and i received a rejection letter in the mail 3 days later. the job i have no is nowhere near as good as this place wouldve been and i doubt i'll ever get another chance to even interview with a firm like this. lame.

i have several which are too humiliating to tell but ill share my younger brother's.

he was probably around 25 and going on a lot interviews. he didnt know how to tie a tie so before the interviews i would usually do it for him. one day i wasnt there and he improvised.

he got to the interview and the interviewer introduced herself and they exchanged a few polite comments. he handed her his vita and she started looking it over. a few pages in she paused on a page, handed him one of the sheets back and said "i think this yours." the page was titled "How to Tie a Tie" complete with diagrams which my brother hand printed off the net a few hours before arriving.

bwana, that one gave me a really good laugh. Of course I'm a 25 year old that has always had friends/family tie my ties until last summer when no one was around and I had to leave for a wedding. I printed off diagrams from the internet too. I don't know how people functioned 20 years ago.

Wow what a deuchebag.

bwana - that's hilarious.

Internet or not, how do you make it to 25 without knowing how to tie a necktie?

Aflac story is lol

I'm a social reject?

I just never really needed to learn. I've never worn ties to work or normal social functions. I really only wear them to weddings and funerals, both events that I'm usually going to with friends or family. I sometimes wore one to interviews but I'd usually get a roomate to do it, and just leave the tie tied once it was done. Up until I graduated last year I either lived at home or with roomates that knew how to do it.

Learning to tie a tie isn't really something you just decide to do one day. And when I needed to do it, I didn't have time or motivation to learn.

I love these stories, everyone's got atleast one lol.