This thread is inspired by the OP in BBV who posted about lying on his resume for a job interview. Mine happened about a year ago when I was applying for a paralegal position for a law firm specializing in immigration law.

The interview was suppose to take place at 10:00 a.m. I waited for 25 minutes while the attorneys were interviewing another candidate. The only reason I didn't walk out was because this was my first real job interview and I wanted to gain some experience. When the lawyers and the interview candidate walked out of the conference room, they were all laughing. The one lawyer said to the candidate, "It was great meeting you, I'll give you a call sometime this week." So right away I have the mentality that I am interviewing for a position that was just filled.

So two attorneys (male and female) finally interview me and the first thing out of the female attorney's mouth is how much money the position paid, and the benefits. WTF? Why are you telling me this right away, especially after it seemed like the person you just interviewed landed the job? All of a sudden this other guy barges into the room. At first I thought he was a janitor because he was wearing a track suit, a 1990's shark watch, and had a scruffy beard. Turns out he was the third attorney in the firm and this guy was a huge weirdo. My name is Harry, and the first thing out of his mouth was, "You look like Prince Harry." Let me make it clear, I look nothing like Price Harry.

The female attorney asks me if I would have a problem working with illegal immigrants trying to get back into the U.S. I tell her "no," for the sake of the interview. She then asks me if I am married or have any children." Now that I think about it, it’s pretty funny that a lawyer would have the nerve to actually ask this. One of the other lawyers chimes in, "umm I think it's illegal to ask those questions." I try laughing it off.

The interview had lasted a whole five minutes after she finished telling me about the job responsibilities. I started asking them questions about immigration law and what they liked and didn’t like about the job, just to make it sound like I was interested. The one attorney goes into this crazy lecture on how he hates the American government. The two male attorneys then have a discussion on something stupid while the female attorney is talking to me. She repeatedly tells them to show me some respect and be quiet, which made me feel so much more uncomfortable.

The interview ends with the female attorney saying, “I just want to let you know that there are other more qualified candidates applying for this position. It really is important to speak another language in order to work here.” At this point I was pretty pissed and asked her, “Why the heck did you interview me when you knew I couldn’t speak another language?” She replied, “Your resume looked very professional.” I’m still not sure what the hell she was talking about. The interview came to and end and she told me she would go get me her business card. I walked about and left before she came back.

Awesome.

i'm pretty sure they asked you a wide array of illegal discriminating questions and you, as an attorney, were supposed to point them out. did they also ask if you were gay?

Really hungover at an OCI interview for a firm I accidentally applied to in a city I would never live in.

Opening line of the interviewer: I don't ask questions, I just like to answer your questions

Me: What kind of law does your firm specialize in

Him: You really didn't research the firm enough to know that?

Me: no

Him: That disrespectful and unprofessional

etc.

This is an interview for a summer associate position at a big NY law firm:

The interview starts normally. I show up in the most beautiful office I've ever been in, chill in the lobby for a while, and eventually chat with a recruiting type about all the wonderful things they offer to summers.

Then two associates show up to take me out of lunch, a male associate and a female associate. The female associate is normal, but the male is one of the douchiest-looking people I've ever seen. The office is business casual, but he's wearing a navy blazer with shiny buttons and a tie!

Anyways, we head out. The instant we step through the outside doors, both of the associates light cigarettes. They would smoke for essentially every second we were outside. We begin walking to the restaurant, making small talk. I make the huge mistake of asking the female associate where she lives,how she likes it, etc. She goes off on a seemingly endless ramble about how she and her sister have this wonderful loft on the Upper Middle Northwest Side or whatever and how they're redoing the interior and on and on. Of course, this is an interview, so I have to pretend to be interested.

About the time she wraps up, we arrive at the restaurant. Exquisite meal. Over lunch, it comes out that the female associate is from Canada. I ask if she went to undergrad there or here in the States. She says, "I went to school in Canada. At the time, I thought I wanted to do government work, so I went to U of Ottawa." I nod sagely. The male associate says, "Ottawa? Why's that?" She says, "Ottawa is the capital of Canada." He looks confused for a bit then says, "What's Montreal then? Just some kind of cultural center?" Again, keep in mind that I cannot laugh at these people.

Soon after, the check arrives. The female associate takes it, then asks "So how much tip should I leave?" She busies herself with mental calculations, while I mention to the male associate that when I was in HS in SC, tax was 5%, so you could easily figure a 15% tip just by tripling the tax. He says that in most places 15% isn't a good tip any more (yeah, I know douche...). All during this conversation, the female associate is staring at the check with a look of painful concentration. Eventually, she GIVES UP and hands the check to the male associate for him to calculate the tip. I continue not to laugh.

We leave the restaurant, accompanied by the clicky music of cigarette lighters being lit, and head back to the office. As we approach one intersection, I notice that traffic has backed up back into the intersection and the light is changing. The cab that's now stuck in the middle of the intersection starts blasting his horn at the people in front of him. I think to myself, "Wow, cabbies in NYC really are as bad as--" This line of thought is cut off by the male associate, who begins screaming at the cab, "MOTHER****ING CABBIE! JUST SHUT UP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ****ING CABS!" I'm staring at him in astonishment. The female associate's face takes on a priceless look of horror. She grabs him by the arm, and I can see her fingers digging in. He comes to his senses and stops yelling. As we walk away, he flicks his cigarette butt into the sewer in disgust and mutters, "****ing cabbies!"

We arrive back at the office, and there's a brief interlude of sanity as I interview with two older lawyers who are pleasant, interesting, and don't shout obscenities at anyone. One was almost grandfatherly.

But that didn't last. My next interview was with a Bohemian coffee-shop reject. He was dressed entirely in black. He had thick black-rimmed glasses. Mopey demeanor. I'm positive that this guy attended NYU at some point in his life. We begin talking, and I ask him what drew him to his current area. He says he used to work at another firm in town, but then he quit and went backpacking across Asia and Africa for a couple years. "WTF??" I think, but what I say is, "Wow, that must have been a really fascinating experience." "Eh, it was alright," he says. Way to keep the conversation moving. I then shift to asking him about the firm.

"The thing you have to keep in mind is that partners don't really care about the associates. Associates are just there to make money for the partners. The partners view the associates as another asset, like computers or office furniture. They'll just stick you in a room with a bunch of documents and make you go through them."

I wipe the stunned look off my face and try to come up with a response that conveys more enthusiasm than I feel. I settle on, "Well, it gets better, right?" He says, "A little." Yikes.

My final interview of the day is with a very pleasant gentleman who reminded me a bit of my favorite uncle. We talk for a while, and then he gets out my resume to ask me some questions about it. As we're talking, I happen to look down and notice that he's bubbled in all the enclosed loops in the letters on my resume, like a middle-school girl. Somehow, I manage to keep a straight face and finish the interview.

I didn't get the job.

NYC finance. Didn't want the job, but had already been booked to fly out + hotel, and more importantly was gonna stick around for the weekend with my gf. Free weekend trip basically, and didn't care to actually put in any prep time. Anyway, three interviewers. Each asked me what I knew about XXX firm's involvement in a market area. Each time I reply with general knowledge and web-page stuff, each time asked again about XXX firm's market position specifically. I concede I have no idea. I don't know the stock price of the firm, don't know how many employees (oops, forgot to check that in the morning). Get hosed on a bunch of technical questions I'd never been asked before. I stop BSing them and just say I don't know. After the last interviewer is done grilling me, he asks if I have any questions and I just say "no, don't think so" and walk-out. Rejection email within 48 hours! But thanks for the trip XXX!

your resume looked professional, u did not. lolz

Hey has anyone interviewed at a law firm?

right in the middle of an interview I ripped one seriously loud... we both paused for a moment.. got back to our conversation and I left... didn't get the job... I wish this was a joke but it actually happened *sigh*

When the tech bubble started to burst in 2001, I got laid off from a major consulting firm and was unemployed for the bulk of the year. As the year went on and I had trouble getting a job, I started applying for anything that looked remotely interesting. Plus, I started applying to business schools, figuring that I would get accepted by a few and not be in a job for long, anyway.

One which I applied to was something like the Missing Children's Network or something. For some reason, I didn't think to research the company much. I sent a resume, got a call, and got an interview.

The first interview was really short. Basically, some management type told me about the job, saying that, as a manager, I would partner with local businesses to raise money to help find missing children or some ****. It sounded relatively interesting at the time - I could get some marketing and business development experience on my resume, while doing something worthwhile for the community. I was invited back the next day to "shadow" someone as they met with businesses.

When I arrived at the office the next day (which, by the way, was a tiny office in a sort of strip-office building), there were a bunch of other candidates there, too. We started by watching a movie about the company, which immediately got me suspicious. There wasn't anything in the video that stood out, but I thought it was odd - legit jobs don't typically show you a video during the interview process. After it was over, managers came in and took two or three candidates each with them for the day.

We got in the manager's car and headed out. After we had been driving for about 10 minutes, I asked, "So, where is our first appointment?"

"We don't have any appointments."

Oh, boy. I began to squirm in the back seat. "So, uh...what are we doing?"

He proceeded to explain that we were going out to shopping centers and simply going door to door, soliciting donations. To encourage people to donate, we were bringing t-shirts and stuffed animals as gifts.

My anus puckered. I seemed to be the only one of the three candidates in the car who felt like this was going to be a horrible, horrible experience.

And it was exactly what I thought it would be. We walked into salons, Hallmark stores, auto shops, whatever, asking people for money. The two reasons I didn't simply bail were 1) I was a good 45-60 minutes from home with no car and I wasn't about to ask someone to drop everything and get me, and 2) I felt bad ditching the two girls that were with me, as they finally figured out that this sucked.

At least we stumbled upon a farmer's market, so I got some good, fresh peanuts.

Don't you have any sphincter control?

Right out of college I interviewed with a television station here in Shreveport. My degree was in Physics, but this was more of an accounting type position. At this point, I didn't really care I had been living at home for a couple of months and just wanted to find something.

The interviewer starts out with the regular questions, and then wants to test my computer proficiency. He takes me into another office, where I basically have to put numbers from a sheet of paper into Excel. Not to difficult, but he leaves me to do it for 15-30 minutes. I thought this seemed promising, but later realized it was a way to get some free labor.

After that, the interview ended and it basically turned into this guy telling me all about how awesome he was. Did I know that every couple of months he got to shoot a live feed for 30 seconds (this station did not have any news). I said no, and he said something along the lines of "I'm surprised, most people recognize me". He also told me about the time he got to play witch doctor on an episode of Wild Boyz on MTV. These were his two stories, but he just kept retelling them. I've seriously never seen anyone let so little fame go to their head. (BTW he was the fake tan, hair implants type of guy). After awhile I stop feigning interest, which probably ultimately led to me not getting the job. **** it, it would have sucked to work for that douchebag anyways.


I also got scammed into going to an interview at a door to door vacuum cleaner sales place, and received an offer after telling the interviewer that I thought I would be terrible for it.

wow bobman, awesome post

While interviewing for an insurance position, I was asked what i had done for the past year of employment, as i had left it as "self employed" on my resume (pro poker player obv). I said that I had some small side jobs that brought in some money for me during this time. He said, "um, ok...but they were legal, right?" I didnt really think before saying, "Its not like Im running a Meth Lab."

Silence for 10 seconds...

Didnt get that job

This was back in the early 90s. A video game developer had an ad for some sort of entry level grunt job (customer service or something). I was really excited about the idea of working for someplace like that, so I applied, and was thrilled to get an interview scheduled for a Friday. Unfortunately, I was young and stupid, and didn't have an 'interview suit' yet. I wore a very nice button up long sleeve shirt and nice slacks...think a step above business casual, for sure. When I arrived, I was relieved to see that my dress fit right in to the rest of the office.

I get into the interview with a man and woman. One of the first questions she asked me was "Did you realize it was Casual Friday and dress appropriately?" Horrified, I stammered something in response. The rest of the interview went ok, but I knew I was doomed.

Have never gone to an interview without a tie since. In my current position, one of the guys interviewing me thanked me for dressing up, and told me he hadn't worn a tie since HIS interview. Been here 7+ years, and I am happy to say the same!

You misinterpreted. What he said was:
"You look like Prince, Harry."

Purple is not a good interview color.

These are all awesome. I once went to an 8 am interview after a night of binge drinking. First interview of my life as well. Felt sick as hell and had 3 people grilling me. I had a minor panic attack, got up and said "I can't do this." Told my parents that the interview went well when I got home, and I acted surprised when I got the rejection letter.

a step above business casual would involve a suit

wtf?

This was early 2002 in the Bay Area, after I had the brilliant idea of quitting my job in the middle of a recession and moving to San Francisco without anything lined up. Anyhoo, I had been sending out about 20 resumes a week (each with a custom cover letter) for about 3 or 4 months without a single bite. That's right, probably over 300 resumes and not one interview.

Then one day I get an email from some firm in Palo Alto that liked my resume and wanted to meet with me to talk about the position, yadda yadda. I was so excited! I immediately told my wife, and my parents, and all my friends! I had an interview!!! I email back that it sounds great and give them my availability for an interview. They suggest we meet at lunch time at a Starbucks in Palo Alto in a couple days. I clean my best suit, borrow a car, make the hour plus drive out to Palo Alto.

I walk in and the Starbucks is packed. I'm a little worried about how I'm going to recognize them, but get on line to order a coffee and keep my eyes peeled for the two people who were coming to meet me. That's when some barista comes out from behind the counter and announces loudly "For all those who are here for the interview, there is no job interview here."

...

???

...


It takes me a minute to realize he's talking about me. I start chatting with the folks in line with me. It seems every single one of them got the exact same emails (strange how I didn't notice that the entire packed Starbucks was in their best suits). It seems someone posted an ad to craigslist and created an automated script to send a series of emails (including answers to the likely questions - the very questions I asked) to everyone who responded.

So I got my coffee, found a table with about 6 other "applicants" and we commiserated for while about the sad state of seeking employment after the bubble. Got in my car, drove the hour plus home, and fielded calls from everyone I knew for the next few days, whom I had to tell that it was all an elaborate practical joke.

In six months of a full-time job search I only got one other interview, which was almost as bad, but I won't sully this story with it. This was so heartbreaking, and yet, at the same time, rather funny. Really, there was nothing to do but laugh.

Scene: College Interviews, small conference room, Student Union, Disney Co.
Me: Actually interested, entertainment field
Interviewer: Standard college recruiter.

1st Q: Why Disney?
A: Entertainment leader, innovative blah blah

2nd Q: Disneyland?
A: Sure, yeah.

3rd Q: Sweeping cigarette butts throughout the park?
A: Umm, no. Not at all.

"Thanks for coming in." Stood up offered his hand and walked me out. Total time 3 mins.

KurtSF - brutal.

This thread is thoroughly entertaining. Nice job dudes.

Only one I can really think of, it's not that bad actually.

I'm like 20 at the time, interviewing some temp assignments. At this company that does I have no idea what. Chick in late 20's is glossing over my resume while I sit there and she says "Oh you went to El Modena High??? I said "yup". Cool, I went to "Villa Park". Backstory: They are our rival school, etc...and they were referred to as "the weenies on the hill". So 2 mins into my interview we have this exchange and I say "OH SO YOU'RE A WEENIE". She got kinda straight-faced and then 1/2 chuckled, not cause she thought I was funny, but cause she couldn't believe actually said that to her. Interview lasted about 4 minutes and needless to say I never got offered a position at that company.

I was looking for a job after my first year of law school, anything that was close and would pay the rent. We have an online system where people could post job openings, and I basically was applying to everything that popped up as it was getting late in the game and I wanted it done. Anyways, I see a posting from a solo practitioner that is town, pays $20/hr, so I figure I'll send him a resume and cover letter. The job posting is a bit weird, because it rambles on about how he is looking for someone who appreciates the pursuit of justice and truth and other stuff, just sounded weird since most posts were "Seek 1L or 2L for full-time position. Send resume."

So he ends up calling me in for an interview and I show up, typical solo practitioner office, looks like a big house, little sign out front on the door. He comes over and shakes my hand as I enter and he leads me into his office. Things start off normal enough, he asks me about classes and my hobbies, etc. Then he gets to his real questioning.

"So, I'm not sure if you are aware, but I am one of the heads of the Massachusetts Pro-Life league and I do most of their advocacy work. In fact, I'm working with the National groups to help create some pamphlets. I also do a lot of work in right to life cases, like Terry Schiavo, etc."

He then proceeds to tell me a story about how they were going to pull the plug on this woman who had been in a coma for six years but he did some complex legal maneuvering and saved her life. Then all of a sudden he stands up and rears his hand back. I just sit there with this "WTF?" look on my face. "Dont leave me hanging!" he shouts, so I put out my hand and he gives me a high five. Mind you, its like 8am at this point and he apparently didn't read my resume which talks about my being head of College Democrats, etc.

He starts asking me how I feel about pro-life issues and I try to give answers that imply "I'm pro-choice, but I wouldn't mind working for someone who is pro-life". Then he says "Well half your duties would be to assist with the funding and the brochure I talked about." I just kept giving him polite answers as my skin continues to crawl having to deal with this man.

I finally get out of there after a "15 minute interview" which ended up lasting an hour and get a call from him, which i promptly ignore and delete the voicemail. Then I get an e-mail, which says in its entirely "Would you give me a call at XXX-XXX-XXXX. There is another question I would like to ask." So I call him up and the conversation goes like this

Lawyer- Noah, great meeting you, I know you'd be great here, just one question I forgot to ask. Are you pro-life?

Me- I think its a difficult issue that I struggle with, but I'd say I'm pro-choice.

Lawyer- Oh. Alright, well thanks.

(click)



Ten minutes later I get an e-mail thanking me for coming in, but he doesn't think it would work out. This was my big welcome to the world of compromising yourself and your believes to be a lawyer. i left dirty.