i have an 18 month old son with another one on the way and we also used the babywise method. He slept through the night (10:30 pm to 7 am) by 7 weeks old and sleeps from 8pm to 8am now. He was 2/3 breast fed and 1/3 formula for the first year, eating solids from 5 months on. Theres not one food now that he refuses, outside of some meats that are too dry.

we had a cradle in our room for the first 2-3 months, but that was purely for convenience. I think he has slept in our bed maybe 3-4 times since then, but that was mostly my wife wanting to have a "sleepover" on a weekend nigh. idk, everyone has told us that he is like the best behaved and easiest kid to raise they have every seen, so we are half expecting the next one to be a terror.

I cant say enough about how easy it was to get him on the schedule babywise uses and everything just worked itself out. We will definitely do the same with baby number 2.

We started out with a co-sleeper bed attached to the bed. That didn't really work well, but we think it's because we also changed him in it, so he didn't associate it with sleeping. We have a king size bed and also have a dog that sleeps with us. Hoping to get rid of both the kid and dog at the same time (from the bed). There's plenty of room, even with the dog.

We used a queen sized bed on vacation and that was pretty miserable going just 3 of us, and I was constantly scared I was going to smash the baby.

My son will be 4 in a few months, and refuses to use the potty.

We've tried:

1) At various points in the last year, we've tried the super nice approach. "Let us know when you have to potty, mommy or daddy will take you, we'll read a book or sing a song while waiting, you'll get a lollipop when done, etc."...all to no avail.

2) We've let him sit in a dirty diaper for hours to see if he'll realize how uncomfortable it is. He knows its uncomfortable, but laughs and denies that its full. He knows how to take it off, but he hasn't flung poo all over the place.

3) The other day, I could tell he had to go, so took him to the potty. Told him I'd wait there until he's done, he says he doesn't have to go, so I try waiting him out. 20 minutes later, I'm bored, so try the "you can walk around with no pants until you poop on the floor then" move, which makes him scream his head off (I think he understands the concept of "modesty" now). Unfortunately, my wife is less intractable than I, so she throws pants on him.

Any other ideas? We have a 1 year old baby in the house, so I suspect that might have something to do with it, but he gets equal attention, so not entirely sure that "crying for attention" is part of this.

Also, I just re-read the post I just made with all of the toddlerspeak, and I will now hang myself.

hahaha, nh TC. No, my wife has a big family, and they all have kids, plus I have some on my side, too.

I've heard of people having success with your approach #3, but obviously you can't back down and put a diaper on him. On this issue and almost every other one parenting-wise, it is my policy to never threaten anything I'm not prepared to follow through with. Kids are BORN negotiators, once they sense weakness they will grab onto it like a pitbull.

My daughter peed in the potty but refused to poop in the potty for quite a while. She eventually did it mostly on her own, with a little bribery thrown in. By the time she did it I would've promised her a car to get it done, but it only cost me a Buzz Lightyear action figure.

Here is a link to the thread. It begins at post #188. It got pretty vicious with the mom unfortunately.

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/63...7/index13.html

Boris, I am also interested in how you would have responded to Jess had you been in the same situation?

******** is a person to person thing. you start pooping in the potty when you start pooping in the potty. they'll do it.

We were successfull with basically the first method but instead of a lollipop, we did a celebration when he went in there. Even had a hat and a dance that he would do. He really liked the celebration so he starting going in there just so we would do it.

I'm sure every kid is different though. My son was super easy to potty train.

Sam, we had similar problems with our 4 yo, and we had the new baby around the same time

For her, it was just crapping. We spent a lot of time talking about how important it was that she be a good big sister and show her brother how to do it. We just put her in underwear and dealt with the accidents - she only got pull ups at night. We also read one book that suggested giving them the option to ask for a pull up when they have to poo, because it's more comfortable for them, but it's at least a proactive step they're taking.

Ultimately, her potty training came down to her deciding she was ready, along with a long-term reward system for no accidents. Every day without an accident got her a sticker on the calendar, plus a treat (ice cream, a piece of candy, whatever) before bed. A full week and we rented her a movie to watch after school for the next week. 4 weeks in a row, and we bought her favourite movie. After she got the movie, she backslid for a couple days, but after verbally raking her over the coals and telling her how disappointed we were that she stopped being a big girl after getting her movie, and it's been 2 months without an accident.

She also started school in September, so that extra bit of shaming (having accidents at school) helped us.

that sounds really tilting amber. i wouldnt be friends with her.

Just chill, that's what we did with our oldest. At first we tried all the stuff you mentioned, read books, blah blah blah. It just turned into a contest of wills, so we backed off. Eventually (maybe a few weeks? don't remember for sure) he wanted to go by himself, guess he figured he wasn't going to get any response positive or negative to his antics. We congratulated him after the first few times, then that was that. Second kid just started going on her own after we showed her a couple of times.

I know someone who told their kid that he wouldn't be able to turn 4 years old or have a birthday if he didn't learn to use the potty.

Worked, but no doubt caused lifelong psychological damage or something.

My son is in daycare, and I know they have been doing a lot of work teaching the toddlers to use the potty. He is still a little young (2.5 yrs.) but is starting to "get it".

There are times I think daycare is way too freakin' expensive, and there are times I think I don't pay them enough...

Speaking of which, kid has been in daycare since he was 6 months old. We are happy about it for a variety of reasons and would probably have him in daycare even if we both didn't have 9-5 jobs, but I know others who don't think daycare is such a great thing.

wow im reading the other thread. jeez that woman is a real nutcase.


I still can't believe that you are arrogant enough to think it was okay for you to reprimand MY daughter. Do you get that she is only 12? Do you remember how hard it was being that age? Do you feel tough now that you have made your point with a child? Do you want to go to her seventh grade class and fight her?

What is wrong with you? I know you aren't a mother and are too selfish to ever be one, but how can you not see that upsetting MY child was wrong? Last night I had to deal with her anger towards the way she was treated, while I am sure you were out getting laid by some guy you just met. Be careful not to get pregnant one day, you might have to think of someone other than yourself then!

I am the only one, EVER, who should teach my daughter right from wrong. If giving us a ride was that much trouble, you should have just said so. Instead it seems like you did it and then were in a bad mood, so you decided to take it out of Jess. Way to go! Maybe you can consider this tonight over a half a dozen drinks (like usual) and get back to me.

what a tilting response. such a bad person

so you decided to take it out on Jess. Way to go!

im at like post 300. i really hope you get down and dirty with her and just go off on her.

My wife is a "stay at home mom". She's the type of person who is easily overwhelmed, and when she asked if my son could attend daycare/preschool for 3 half-days a week, I agreed. Yeah, its expensive, and with one middle class salary to work with, its not a breeze to do, but kids have to be around other kids to learn how to socialize, etc.

AFAIK, they are "not" teaching him potty lessons, though...it would certainly help if they were. From the curriculum I've seen, they play with toys, play games, read stories, eat snacks, etc. They have freaking CHICK-FIL-A days once a month. Its a pretty sweet deal.

Amber, you handled that situation very well imo. I would not have been so nice. Obv a blessing though, as that woman sounds like a real......bad word.

+1

Mine are 11 and 12 now, and I can't even remember what all we did when they were babies and they are fine.

Some things I do remember:

If they keep crying even after they are fed and changed, there may be nothing you can do about it. We used to put my daughter in her car seat and leave her in the middle of the kitchen with the exhaust fan on the stove blowing (white noise) and she would pass out every time in like 5 minutes.

Stay calm and mellow and your kids will be calm and mellow. Yell and scream a lot and you kids will yell and scream a lot. Choose.

Expect to be surprised by what you end up giving them. If you asked me 3 years ago if I would give a 12 year old a cell phone I would have said your nuts. They got them at 11.

Do not talk bad about other adults in front of your kids. You are teaching them to not respect others.

Anyone tried Elimination Communication?

Yeah, my son is an only child, and we have no friends or relatives with kids nearby, so it was either daycare or very little socializing with kids his own age until kindergarten.

The potty training thing is a nice bonus though, although if we aren't careful he will be one of those kids that uses the potty at 'school' but not at home because I think the daycare center is working harder on this than we are.

They don't do chick-fil-a, but they have class trips to pizza parlors and almost every time a kid has a birthday the parents send in cupcakes.

Despite that, we have been having some bad separation anxiety with him at drop off since they were closed for the holidays and he didn't go for 2 weeks.

It was a little weird to suddenly have him not want to go to 'school' after 2 years of very little trouble, but I guess he got use to the routine of being home and spending all day with his parents.

He is getting over it now but wants to talk about it a lot ("is this a home day or a school day?") and is suddenly very interested in what I do at 'work'. I explained my job last night, and this morning he asked me to tell him about my job again and listened very carefully and seemed to be seriously considering the situation.

Kids seem to take these big leaps in understanding and suddenly develop new interests and worries.

We all post in OOT, right?

So what's a normal age for when kids stop needing diapers? I've seen anywhere from about 1 to between 3 and 4. Is this as variable as when they learn to read, is it parenting, or what?

lol i wish amber posted in more of the threads i do. everytime she say something i would just quote a slut joke from gina. your mom clearly didn't even tell you that banging the entire town wasn't something to be proud of.

When did the kids start walking? Mine is 10 mos (almost 11) and he isn't walking yet, but he's been standing since he was at least 8. I'm wondering if the hardwood floors make it more difficult for him.