You have several friends who were married and had children then left their spouse when they realized they were gay? Not that this doesn't happen, but it's pretty amazing that you have multiple friends that did this.


OP - Do you enjoy any sports? Or have you ever enjoyed any sports? If so maybe there are some rec leagues in your area (check Craigslist, google etc). Would help with exercise, getting out and creating a social circle.

Also, it is important to recognize that once you start getting your life in a direction you are happy with it is very likely your outlook on life will change. You will look back on how you feel now and basically not even be able to relate anymore to that outlook and negativity. Sometimes when a person is in a rut they think that is how it will be forever when that's just not the case most of the time. Sometimes just having the knowledge that you can eventually not feel the way you do is enough motivation to actually make changes.

Yeh MBSFN to have 4 hours a day out of the house IMO

On diet:
How much soda do you drink ? Cut it out completely. You will be surprised how much that alone can help.

I think this is a great idea but is not as easy to accomplish as cutting off internet use cold turkey. Just speculation, but OP you may be addicted to the internet. Watch this TED talk but think about it in terms of internet and not just porn. The talk is really interesting actually, I would suggest everyone watch it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

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OP I think you could make a wish, apparently that really helps,

Easiest solution by far here is start doing volunteer work.

By far the easiest solution, I think it would help OP.

Not sure why you quoted that from a different thread but it is blatantly false for a lot of people. There is clear evidence of lifestyle changes/cognitive therapy etc helping people become happier.

Grunching

Get job doing anything, you will be forced to socialize you will improve with teh ladies as a result.

Try going for a walk or reading a book. Stress less and smile more.

No WONDER he's depressed!

OP, is moving to a different part of the country/world an option?

I've always been happy as a clam, but when I was stationed in Monterey, CA, we'd sometimes go 2-3 weeks without seeing the sun, and I'd find myself saying things like, "If we don't get some sunshine soon, I'm gonna start tossing bodies out one at a time!"

I mean, I obviously didn't mean you were a bad person. That has nothing to do with it, really. I'm not a bad person either, but everyday I wake up and focus on being a better me. A better friend, family member, etc. You say your overweight so work on slimming down. That's part of being better. It's all connected. Once you start trying to become "better," intrinsic happiness will later ensue. Extrinsic, too.

I'm not trying to derail the thread but...My GF's best friend is gay. Almost all of the > 40 year old people in gay community I have met, were once married and have a child or 2. It is something I have found very interesting.

OP. Your problems are something I am hearing more and more people talk about. I feel it is a result of the computer age. Your cell phone and computer are not your friends. Just because someone has 300 friends on facebook does not make them popular. Get rid of your smart phone. You need to stop staring at your phone in public. Make eye contact and smile at people in public. Staring at your phone will make you no friends. If your phone rings and you are talking to someone. Do not answer your phone. Just push the button and make it stop ringing. It will help people feel like they are important to you. I try and never answer my phone when I'm hanging out with my gf. If it's an important business call. I apologize to her before answering it.

You need to be your own best friend. If you don't like yourself how can others like you. If you were someone else would you want to hang out with you. Find the things that you like about yourself and do more of them.

Don't beat yourself up about the things you don't like about yourself. Humans are strange so accept it and enjoy your own weirdness. We all get brown stains in our shorts.

I just turned 40. Life gets better as I get older. I would not want to be 20 again. I am so much more at ease with myself. The older I get the more confident I get. You might find all you need to do is grow up a bit...

buy a pet.