There was a hilarious King of the Hill episode concerning dolphin rape.

Tinder review. Profile reads "4'6". Outdoors, old fashioneds, and White Russians"

Have considered putting this and a couple other pics in

The first five seem good. Would hit

Damn wu,you look just silly enough to catch the hot chicks and handsome enough for the cute ones.

Or metro enough to switch sides on a slow night and no one judges you.



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Went from being totally inactive on online dating apps to very active in 1 month and I have to say the amount of times girls end up rescheduling/cancelling already made plans hours before is frustrating af to someone like me who likes to be structured and take my commitments seriously.

I've reached a stage where I'm totally expecting girls to find a way to not show up to agreed dates

Are you sure you aren't scaring them off/appearing too thirsty? At least that's the feedback I got here often. If you're in a small town, I'd be leery at this being the case. If you're in a bigger city, then it may be more of "grass is greener" mentality. I feel you though, and am the same way. It blows my mind when I hear about people hitting it off on date #1 then seeing each other the next day or a few times that week, just having that much free time.

Could be this, or it's just tough for a hot girl to give a **** about some dude she's never met when she's got 50 more lined up in her DMs. This is natural and understandable, and the sooner you accept that the less you'll care.

I'd say probably 80% of my dates have gone off without a hitch, and of those probably 2/3rds got rescheduled, with only a couple disappearing all together. Maybe you're going after hotter/flakier girls or live in a place where it's more common, but if half your dates end up going AWOL or something, that seems weird to me

Typically how many days are between the date you ask out a girl and the date you ask out the girl for?

What sort of contact do you and your date have between agreeing on day x and day x?

For the record, I live in a big city (1M population), I don't think I scare them off or anything, matter of a fact I usually try to set up a drink as soon as I can rather than going on forever over text messages and then don't message much up until the day before the date to check in, etc..

Had just too many cases for my taste where we have the standard "ok saturday 8pm is fine" and then saturday at 3pm i get a text saying "sorry, this came up blabla".

Had one date schedulded for 8.30pm today and as I like to be structured, I usually plan my day around and I was telling my friend "I don't know why I have a feeling I'm going to get cancelled on again" and sure enough at 3pm I see the "hey sorry but ..." and knew instantly what it was.

I get the idea that girls can just pick whoever they want, should probably be more careless and flexible as well but still frustrating

Somewhere between 2-5 days. I try not to do a ton of texting in between but I'll have the "hey how did your day go" standard kind of message in between to also keep minimum contact. Honestly probably just variance really

I wouldnt set a first date on Saturday - not only do you have a higher chance of flaking, but it also gives the impression you have nothing better to do.

Maybe wait a touch longer before asking to meet? I don't know, maybe you're doing it two or three messages in and then they say yes even though you haven't hooked them all the way, and then they lose interest over the next few days and then cancel when something better comes up because they don't feel invested? I'm not say do a hundred messages over two weeks, but let it go for a dozen messages over a day or two and only ask the ones out who seem to be more interested?

Anecdotal - IME as time between asking out and going on a date increase the chances of getting cancelled on rise exponentially. Chances are you're, say, a 6 and asking out 7s and for a while they're excited and down to meet but four days later they've found a bunch of other 6s or some 7s and 8s and the chat you guys have had in the intervening period wasn't all that great so they're not as down to meet. You should try and meet with them ASAP, depending on what time of day you message them (and what day of the week) you should shoot for the same night imo (Nothing "Beta" about having nothing planned for the same evening as long as you're confident enough). Women like men are hornier sometimes than others, best to be forward and try to meet up ASAP.

Re. how much chat to have in between, I tend to think that less is more. "Hey how did your day go" is pretty lame imo. If you have something to say that's fine but "Hey how did your day go" comes across as needy/"checking in". Let's say you ask a girl out today and agree to meet next Wednesday because she's going to Acapulco for the weekend. I think it's smart to send them something like "Sounds great - let's touch base next week. Have fun in Mexico!". This way you don't have to worry about "overexposure" from WhatsApping them every day but neither of you feel awkward when you go a few days without messaging. Then send a light hearted message on the Monday confirming the date.

All of the above depends on how good of a connection you had before asking them out. Given how often you're flaked on it's possible you're asking people out who you don't have the best e-connection with. That makes it all the more important to meet up ASAP. Five days is a long time unless you have a good spark.

Some good input, thanks

Do you send a confirmation text day of? Or nothing and then they flake a few hours before date?

Also, you have to keep the excitement up if there is a lot of time between setting up the date and the day of the date.

Opening with a "How did your day go?" when you haven't even met doesn't doesn't give off fun vibes or make her excited about the date.... likely does the completely opposite making her think she's in for another boring date. She realizes she isn't excited and flakes.

I definitely think you should try to fill whatever time slots you have open regardless of image. I think 1-2 days in advance is better but day of is prob better than 3+ days.

The last girl I slept with I invited on a spontaneous walk a few hours in advance. It was the day after our first date and Memorial Day weekend.

Of course it's not a bad life plan to find friends and activities so you don't always have the Saturday slots open and might meet women in person too

This is bad advice. It varies case to case but you generally shouldn't be asking someone out later than the fifth message (unless you're going back and forth in a de facto IM session). Looking back at the last five girls I messaged with on OKCupid I asked for (and got) their phone numbers on the second, first (she messaged me first), third and second messages. The fifth girl was after more than five messages what looks like sixteen minutes into an IM session.

This is good advice and should be added to my previous post. If you don't have a good connection it's more important to try and keep up her interest. To take my Acapulco example, if I felt she wasn't that keen I might send her an amusing photo (preferably where I look good!) from the weekend with a lighthearted "way better than Acapulco". If she replies with a bikini photo that's obviously a good sign and you reply with "Damn, better get to the gym" or "What is your friend's phone number? Just curious." (obviously don't send the latter message if her friend is actually way hotter than she is). Keeping up the excitement is less important if your initial spark was very good.

I know for me, when I first really put effort into online dating back in march, I literally never had women cancel day of and had some of them express disappointment with how little I was contacting them in the run up to the date. Then I got into a short relationship which has ended and I'm trying it all again now, and something like 3 out of 4 dates end up getting canceled the day of. Maybe it's just the time of year and how nice it is outside and whatnot. But I also know I was putting a lot more effort into it, as in, taking all the tips I get from here more seriously, like trying to appear like I always had stuff going on, not texting very often, etc. Now I'm more relaxed with it, which is probably the real reason.

The feedback I got from the girl I dated seriously, is that she would have liked it if I had been more open and available and eager when we first started dating, and I've tried to take that to heart. But in reality, that's probably not true, and there's a good chance that if I had been those things, it wouldn't have worked out.

As soon as they cancel, delete and block their number and move on to the next. You'll feel better.

Exactly,if it were true she'd still be around, because that is shallow,and not reason to break up.



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I have done online dating basically since it first existed, like 1995. But I haven't used any app-only systems until just 2 weeks ago when I went to a new area for the summer and joined Tinder and Bumble. I had avoided Tinder for a long time because I thought they were just for hookups for young people, but I met women other ways who said they belonged, so I decided to try.

I have corresponded with a few people now but have to say I have a hard time understanding why they're so popular. They give so little info about people and I have to think that asking and answering the same questions over and over with different people has got to get old really fast.

Just as an example, today I realized that I didn't even know if any of the women I had written to were smokers. I would never want to go out with a smoker and have always been able to filter for that; it was easy even on primitive dating sites in the 1990s when no one had pictures. Am I supposed to ask a woman if she smokes on the first message? That seems odd and maybe even rude. But if I don't, I risk wasting lots of time and effort on someone there is no chance I would even want to meet.

Would be interested in other perspectives on this kind of thing, and how using these apps differs from sites that give much more information.

Put this in the text of your tinder/bumble profile:

"No smokers please"

(I also use something similar; haven't gotten any pushback from folks thinking it was rude or anything)