I'd be put off by the bluntness and seriousness. "So what are you looking for on here?" is ok. Full name would be ok too at some point, but this feels weird.

It's a "red flag" if you're not interested in getting serious quickly, since it seems they might be. I would tell them what I'm looking for and deflect on the full name if possible. Wouldn't blame you for cutting it off right now, depends how otherwise interested you were.

In general I hate the aggressively-interviewing-for-a-SO approach. Seems to me that's part of the reason why a lot of people look back negatively on their pre-spouse dating life. People I know IRL, both sexes (from what I specifically recall, 2 men and 1 woman), allude to wading through all these awful horror story dates. I have 0 horror story dates except maybe 1 where I was slightly more awkward than usual.

I don't think it's all luck, I think it's the approach and mindset.

Same here. I think I've had ~50 1st dates (not all with Drew Barrymore) and have no real horror stories to speak of. Almost all of the women have been pleasant, no one even stands out as especially rude.

I just reactivated my account after a three month hiatus and I noticed that too. Turns out they changed things up and you only see women if your age falls into their age range. So I'm sure that they're not as popular as they once were, but you're also seeing a significantly smaller percentage of their users as well

I had 1 horrible date in a few years; 1 bad date on top of that. Probably had 30-40 first dates in 2 years.

Yeah, thats how i saw it, really blunt and felt intrusive.

I messaged her back about what i was looking for on a date site, evidently she was just dtf and wanted to make sure i wasn't a serial killer.

Not really my style anymore,so that was the end of the conversation.

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That's the opposite of what I expected.

Me too

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I would love to meet a woman who was DTF as long as I'm not a serial killer...

Stories about horrible date and bad date?

Horrible one. This girl had reached out to me. Her pics weren't great but we went to the same school for undergrad and had some stuff in common. We meet at this bar and she's worst than her photos attractivenesswise I will say of the girls I went on dates with, she's the ugliest but it doesn't make the date horrible.

She's just the most negative person I've ever met. I'm negative as well but wouldn't reveal that on a first date. To top it off she's extremely pretentious and is both vegan and gf. But basically the conversation went hated school, hate job, hate this, hate that, I eventually ask her what she likes and she tries to hide it for a while; it's writing. At the end of the date, I know it's been bad but I just try to be nice and be like we should do this again. She's basically like no way Jose and I'm at this point okay. Her breath stinks when she got close to me. It looks like she never washed her face in her life. And she's completely stuck up. And she wasn't even attractive at all except not being obese. I'm not sure why she was the way she was but I'm glad I'll never run into her again. Another stupid tid bit is she is like "there's a great burger place around here do you know it?" We are in the middle of philly so of course it could be one of fifty restaurants around there. But of course I don't know right off the bat so she is very critical of me for it. It's a place called village whiskey which does have great burgers but how was I supposed to know what she was thinking.

Bad one was probably partly my fault. This one forces the first date to happen quickly which is fine. I show up, it's a nice day and conversation is just not there. I guess she is a little shy but everything I try just doesn't work. A ton of one word answers, etc. this one, like the last looks worse than her photos which I thought were cute. I also spill my drink on the table which doesn't help. Not really that bad but in the line of bad dates, just bad.

I have more on the first date if you want but I should have known off the bat when she mentioned she lived in long island for years as well as a stuck up philly main line suburb by choice. For some reason I just have never clicked with the former since I grew up in jersey. She basically mentions she hates jersey as well. She can't understand why I goto jersey for things when I live 5 minutes from it but they pump my gas at a cheaper rate and have nicer grocery stores than here in the city (Wegmans) where I live.

My horrible date story:

Few years back messaged a girl on OKCupid, we hit it off unusually well. 7.0, really into British culture/TV due to her father, appreciated and shared my particular sense of humour. She wasn't moving to Chicago for six weeks but in that time we messaged most days.

I go into first dates with low expectations - most of them don't work out, some of them do. This was, I think, the most optimistic I'd been ahead of a first date. I was confident we'd hit it off and at minimum go on a second date....

I arrive at the bar on a beautiful day, grab a table outside and orders us drinks (she texted to say she was running late and I asked what she wanted). Ten minutes later she turns up and looks like expected, good start.

From the outset she is immediately incredibly cold and conversation is painful. You know when you've had an argument with someone you're close with and try to make conversation to ease the mood but they're still pissed and reply monosyllabically? Like that. And I've done nothing wrong - my photos were recent so it wasn't that (All my friends ask me "Did she know what you looked like?" when I tell this story, gee thanks guys), I bought her a drink and she was icy from hello so it's impossible I inadvertently offended her.

I battle to make conversation. One example that sticks out - I asked why she moved to Chicago and she said "I wanted to live in a big city again". So I asked what city she grew up in and she said, in the most disdainful tone possible "I never said I grew up in a city. I merely implied that I had previously lived in a city. Why would you assume I grew up in a city?". Shortly thereafter she asks which way the toilets are and heads in that direction, along with her handbag.

A bartender visits my table and asks if I want another round. At this point my beer is half finished and her cider is fully drunk. I felt the likelihood of my date returning from the toilet was not that high, however in shock I ordered another round. My date didn't return for two, five, ten minutes leaving me with 1.5 beers + one cider.

I realised early doors that my date was probably doing a runner (my outdoor table was such that she could egress via the bar's front door without me seeing). And I knew she was expecting me to text/phone after her. I decided not to text or phone her. She secretly walks out on the date & I make zero enquiries = I win.

I actually preferred this to the many blah dates I go on. It was hilarious, memorable and gives me a good story to tell. I found it so funny that while at the bar with my excess I alcohol I decided to call a good friend and invite her to join me. I looked up the recently dialed numbers in my phone and called ... my date. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. I frantically cancelled the phone call as fast I could but it rang exactly once. My only regret about the date. Now she thinks I tried to phone her to find out what's up then pussied out. Mother****er.

Meh, what fun is this whole process without some nightmare dates along the way? I'd rather take a few clunkers that make funny stories down the road than all good or just okay/no connection ones. Dating is hard: helps to have a sense of humor about it

Thoughts having sex one last time before parting ways? Assuming she's the one ending it. Is there a level of commitment/feels beyond which it's a bad idea?

I feel like this will come up tonight with a girl I've seen for a few weeks. Think I'm at the end of a Sandra cycle. not sure she'll agree if I ask.

She ended it. No breakup sex for me.

She probably was on her way to get some and just dumped you on the way.

No worrys bobbo, i have faith in your abilities.

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You're going to ask her out again, or you're going out and you're gonna ask for sex?

I'm all for getting all the bangs in possible as long as the bangs are of good quality and you're not putting either one of yourselves in any danger physically or otherwise.

For me red flag was when a guy has no clue/doesn't want to say what he is expecting. Expectations are very variable: from just a company, causal sex to looking for SO. I always preferred to know beforehand.


Full name..... I wonder what for.....

I wonder if an acceptable answer is
"Well, it really depends on you.You're pretty enough for recreational sex,but if you have a personality compatible to mine we might be friends or could even become a relationship if you are stable".

? Or too much?

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That last 20-30 women on Bumble before I exhaust the pool 🤢

Well, who knows what the sample size was (definitely over 100), but for the first time ever I found an instance of a primary profile photo featuring two girls where the more attractive one was the one actually using the photo.

I wonder, is that considered a Unicorn or a Bigfoot?



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What's the best advice for a Vegas trip?

Plan is to pay for a Tinder subscription at least a few days out, and start swiping and using the 5 Super Likes on maybe the Tue-Wed before I get there, which will be a late Friday night. Will be there until the following Tuesday.

Will also use Happn, don't have other apps currently installed, not counting OKC/dead POF.

What does the paid Tinder get you over the free one?

Bumble and tinder plus maybe OkCupid and or pof should be able to get you tons of girls even for free

5 Super Likes instead of 1, unlimited Likes, and I think some boosting thingie. And customization options.