didn't read the thread, but i voted for all the options because i could

edit: i probably should have known several people would have beat me to this

This makes sense, but I thought she lived in a different city ? I'm pretty sure she was just looking to get laid and he didn't deliver.

That was an insanely confusing story, especially at the end.

I hate that I read this whole thread and this was the only truly productive thing said. You guys have been friends for 20+ years. Be a goddamn friend then and tell him that he needs to sort his **** out and quit bitching.

buy him a hooker.

if that fails, he's ghey.. use your own judgement/morals set after that imo

important bump

You should give up on him but maybe book him an appointment with a therapist or something.

I'm sure a psychologist could help him but by the time he gets better he'll be overcome with shame at what a loser he used to be and the relationship is basically irreconcilable at that point.

If as per your post he is a relatively normal good-looking guy I can guarantee you can find multiple sloots who would want to have sex with him just because of the virgin factor.

I'm having a hard time interpreting the results of this pole. Is it .1?

Wow, lotsa bad friends ITT. So your buddy is a bit of a nerd and clueless with women? So? We have to get rid of them?

I would say you just don't want to make any effort to set him up with women or ever have him be your wingman. Why do we have to eliminate him as a friend? Does he have any redeeming qualities?

If his bitching really bothers u, then tell him not to complain about his job. It sounds to me like you basically think you are too cool for him and want to stop being friends and you want encouragement because you feel guilty.

Your other friends sounds like the one I wouldn't want to be around. Every bar you go to he gets kicked out? Must be a drag to always have to leave because he felt like pushing a bouncer or breaking a beer bottle on the floor for no reason.

You've been friends for 20 years, I don't know why you want to abandon him because he has bad game. It's pretty obvious from the story (like i'd lay 5:1 on it) that the following happened

1) he got really nervous/excited when that random chick he liked came around. You telling him that she liked him probably made it worse because he's like "oh ****, i don't wanna blow this"

2) he drank a whole bunch to calm his nerves and possibly use "i was really drunk" as an excuse if he ****ed anything up.

3) he obviously got really drunk and was afraid to bang the chick because he's a virgin and thought he was either going to blow his load in 30 seconds or just **** up sex in general and ruin his chances with the girl he likes.

Your friend obviously has issues, but you've known him for 20 years, stop being such a douche. Try and get him help and explain things to him rationally. If that doesn't work try some tough love, but jesus, don't just abandon the kid. As was touched on earlier ITT, your other friend who is getting thrown out of every bar sounds like the worst person ever and I'd rather ditch him than your other friend.

grunch: wtf is up with the dude who got thrown out of 3 bars in one night? he sounds like a winner

Shocked that Henry's advice is to tell him to go f*** himself and find more successful friends

As for my advice, I'm pretty sure this is one of those facepalm situations where you should...just...BE HONEST WITH HIM. Can it be that hard? Harder than all the sh** you put up with?

I know this is a difficult and sensitive topic to broach with such an old friend, so I have sent him a link to this thread

I used to try to be the good friend and help. Now I just cut out the dead weight and find more successful friends. My mood stays happier because my circle of friends is happier, and I don't ever feel like I have to help my friends live their normal life -- you're not their parent or babysitter.

this is a good post

This guy is obviously a closet case

LMAO

So, you've been friends with him for over twenty years and are ready to cut ties with him just because he turned out to be a bit of a loser?

It's rare that you have stayed friends for so long and you'll regret it the rest of your life if you cut ties with him for no reason.

This thread needs an update badly.

No man dont stick around, I learned that the hard way this past christmas break. I went on vacation with a friend to do some off season baseball training at a training camp and the guy was great untill I had to share a room with him for a week. This sick bastard was pissing on the toilet seat, leaving the bath tub dirty, leaving disgusting stuff around the hotel room and last but not least I found out he was on depression medication and adhd meds aswell. trust me man if you suspect a downfall your probably right.

I'm guessing part of the reason he complains about this so much is that he's embarrassed by his situation which OP probably harps on a fair amount. It's more like, "I know I need to get my act together" and trying to justify himself to the guy who is looking at him disapprovingly....and that he too isn't satisfied with it.

Basically, if the OP were more supportive and less critical it might make a difference in the amount that the friend is whining about his situation. It's hard to say for sure because I'm trying to fill in some holes here.

I imagine the friend talking about travelling and then OP saying, "yeah, whatever...you've been talking about that forever and are no closer to doing that now then you were then" but I might be wrong. Even if OP isn't doing that it's possible the friend kind of feels that OP is rolling his eyes at him about it.

friends, dragging you down into the morass of their pathetic and useless existence, fleeting moments of youth wasted rationalizing stupidity. guy's a 26 year old virgin and you expect him to lose it on a first date? i would've taken that bet for any amount of money. it's a first date. the only "deal" he should be setting up is a second date WITHOUT any of his stupid friends making scenes and getting tossed out of bars, preferably, something a tad more romantic than screaming at each other in a smokey bar.

as for you. dump said friend. and find a better one. should take you about 5 minutes. remember: you pick your friends. relatives you're stuck with. ( not friends )

I kind of skimmed past some of those parts and didn't realize it was 3 different bars. For those of you who get thrown out of bars or know people who get thrown out: As much as you think it was perhaps just kind of random or "some stupid reason" the fact is you have to go pretty far out of your way to get tossed from a bar or club. It just isn't that easy to do.

Obviously some places have different standards than others. But getting tossed out of 3 different bars in the same night spells "obnoxious jackass" more than "fun guy to hang around."

wow there are so many dbags in here its ridic. op stop whining, tell your friend to stop whining as well and help him instead of bashing him and being worried about him making you look bad because youve got a semi-loser friend. jeez, stop being such an *******, he is obv going through some serious pain and you picking on him will NOT make him feel any better. he is scared and I'm not talking about some "just get it over with"-pussy-whine. he convinced a girl to hang out with him and they spent some nice time despite your ****** friend. great! gratulate him, push his ego a bit he needs it. expecting him to "seal the deal" in his situaion is plain ******ed.

Posts: 39,704

You seem really, really cool.

friends are stupid IMO, thats why i have so many :/

btw everytime u said buddy got tossed out of a bar i lol'd