Most efficient ass wiping – standing up or sitting down? - Page 6 - Other Topics Forum - Discuss Pop Culture, Arts and Entertainment

You see, I tend to wipe multiples times to achieve maximum cleanliness. However, this technique leads to multiple flushes (I've been known to clog many a toilet). So, after you complete the first wipe and are waiting for the water to fill back up

seroulsy wtf is wrong with you that you enough tp to clog the toilet after one wipe.

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you can wipe the second and/or third time, depending on volume of TP used.

wtf? depending on the volume used? is this bc you often dont have any tp left after one wipe? and the wording "can" implies that you dont always go back for a 2nd or 3rd wipe? umm, sorry but your ******* is dirty.

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waiting for the water to fill back up

why does the water need to fill up again?

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After said whips are complete, you can wash your hands if the sink is nearby, thus saving you time on the total job.

im so confused.

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08-06-2009 , 11:44 AM

#127

JL514

because i can

Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 9,820

I'm not opening this thread anymore.

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08-06-2009 , 12:12 PM

#128

otnemem

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 8,298

I told myself that yesterday.

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08-06-2009 , 12:47 PM

#129

LWr

centurion

Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 196

So we've had threads about wiping standing or sitting, looking at the paper, peeing in the pool, and showering everyday.

I think sane people:

-Sit
-Look
-Don't pee in the pool
-Shower every day

Edit: people who disagree probably also wonder why girls won't suck their dirty ****s.

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08-06-2009 , 03:30 PM

#130

Baltimore Jones

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 5,824

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taso

also, you cleanex/baby wipes people, are you sure these are okay to flush down the toilet? it would suck if you end up clogging your septic tank.

WTF? Septic tank? I figured you were from Brazil or something, then I look at your location and it says Long Island. You must be from eastern Long Island? In Nassau County we have a proper sewage system.

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08-06-2009 , 03:39 PM

#131

otnemem

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Quote:

Originally Posted by LWr

Please link the shower every day thread. I don't.

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08-06-2009 , 04:13 PM

#132

nuggetz87

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Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 15,728

alright i can't read this whole thread but i just have one question. for people who sit down and wipe from behind: do girls tell you your area smells like ****? do you take extra measures to make sure you are clean, or does it just work satisfactorily?

is dirtiness a common problem going back to front? (okay 3 questions)

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08-06-2009 , 04:16 PM

#133

otnemem

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 8,298

Quote:

Originally Posted by nuggetz87

Why would it smell worse, and why would it require extra measures? (Trying to get inside the mind of a stander.)

Also, WTF, JUST BECAUSE YOU SIT DOWN DOES NOT MEAN YOU GO BACK TO FRONT!

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08-06-2009 , 04:17 PM

#134

General Tsao

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Baltimore Jones

i'm from nassau county. i don't think my village, or any of the villages/towns surrounding it, have sewers.

where are you from btw?

we could have a wiping party?

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08-06-2009 , 04:46 PM

#135

Baltimore Jones

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Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 5,824

Was the "paper reading" thread about reading while you poop? I definitely do read...although the episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm S5 (obviously Seinfeld as well) that I saw recently made me really start the question the cleanliness of this. Maybe it only matters if you take the book into bed later and have it on your pillow and kiss the book and stuff? Is my fecal matter spread all over the library since I read library books?

I've read the bulk of 900+ page books on the toilet FWIW.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taso

i'm from nassau county. i don't think my village, or any of the villages/towns surrounding it, have sewers.

where are you from btw?

we could have a wiping party?

Luckily I don't live there anymore you sick ****. Will be visiting next month though, and standing to wipe at my grandparents' house.

But who will build the sewers?

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08-06-2009 , 04:50 PM

#136

dkgojackets

DKGOAT

Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 86,123

Quote:

Originally Posted by JL514

These people must be thinking you go in between your legs. Thats the only way I could understand this irrational fear of getting your hand in the water.

YOU TILT A CHEEK OFF THE SEAT AND GO FROM THE SIDE PEOPLE! YOUR HAND NEVER GOES BELOW THE LEVEL OF THE SEAT AND NO WHERE NEAR THE WATER / POO

This

Only way ive considered wiping

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08-06-2009 , 06:56 PM

#137

r0eKY

veteran

Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 2,960

Quote:

Originally Posted by otnemem

It's unfortunate you decided to steal Norton's entire bit after I posted it 15 posts above yours.

i havent read any of this but the first few post, so im not the only one.

ps. i use wet wipes not toilet paper. And i say my description is a lot funnier.

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08-06-2009 , 07:36 PM

#138

guller

adept

Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 833

Do you standers ever wonder why the paper dispensers in restrooms are always installed really low? So low that it would seem perfect for a seated wipe.

I can imagine you standers having to bend way down to get under the McDonalds style racks. If standing were the norm the paper dispenser should be about shoulder height, right? Unless standing requires a football center type position.

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08-06-2009 , 08:33 PM

#139

RadioActive1

veteran

Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 2,973

Sit

Fold - Wet Wipes occasionally

b/w the legs

Look

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08-06-2009 , 08:46 PM

#140

King_S

old hand

Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,199

never in my life have i wiped my ass sitting down.

i figured my hand would get poop water on it

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08-06-2009 , 08:56 PM

#141

sportsjefe

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Quote:

Originally Posted by guller

Do you standers ever wonder why the paper dispensers in restrooms are always installed really low? So low that it would seem perfect for a seated wipe.

Q F T... ainec.

Seriously though, standing just squeezes everything back together again, which is probably why you stander weirdos need to use so much tp that you clog toilets.

- Sit
- Fold (TP, wet wipes feel weird)
- From the left side only
- Drop straight into toilet
- Check last tp prior to flushing.

(explanation would take too long, but for me this works)

Last edited by sportsjefe; 08-06-2009 at 09:05 PM.

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08-06-2009 , 09:53 PM

#142

Maso777

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I sit, standing seems weird.

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08-06-2009 , 11:31 PM

#143

nuggetz87

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Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 15,728

Quote:

Originally Posted by otnemem

Why would it smell worse, and why would it require extra measures? (Trying to get inside the mind of a stander.)

Also, WTF, JUST BECAUSE YOU SIT DOWN DOES NOT MEAN YOU GO BACK TO FRONT!

actually i sit. i guess the question is more about back to front wiping. seems like if there might end up being some residue between azzhole and ballsack or something.

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08-06-2009 , 11:35 PM

#144

Yads

veteran

Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 2,981

I used to stand until the last time this thread happened and became aware of the awesomeness of sitting.

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08-06-2009 , 11:46 PM

#145

Black Aces 518

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Yads

I used to stand until the last time this thread happened and became aware of the awesomeness of sitting.

i combine the best of both worlds. rather than leaning sideways, i lean forward, with my weight on the balls of my feet and the middle of my thighs against the seat. left hand helps spread, right hand goes front to back. the lean forward helps spread and ensures hand is not near turlet water

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08-07-2009 , 12:48 AM

#146

TimTimSalabim

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Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 14,522

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yads

I used to stand until the last time this thread happened and became aware of the awesomeness of sitting.

Me too. I was swayed by El Diablo's argument. Switched in mid-life.

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08-13-2009 , 11:15 AM

#147

TB303

adept

Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 758

OP deff has the right idea...

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08-13-2009 , 01:58 PM

#148

thatpfunk

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Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 8,552

is he bleeding?

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10-28-2009 , 02:54 PM

#149

CESARIAN

banned

Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 411

I cant believe this argument is being had!!! Isnt obvious that the absolute best way is to start the wiping sitting down but then towards the end you finish it off by standing in between wipes and do the last couple strokes standing?? EZ GAME

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10-28-2009 , 03:01 PM

#150

Vantek

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 5,806

...so as to not waste time on the mere act standing up while you could be doing it at the same time as you finish wiping?

Now that's some hardcore efficiency right there.

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