Most efficient ass wiping – standing up or sitting down? - Page 4 - Other Topics Forum - Discuss Pop Culture, Arts and Entertainment

apparently the only things worth discussing in oot lives anymore are basic hygiene functions, frustrations with minor social interactions and tv. what is oot some kind of rain man halfway house? do you all have ****ing aspbergers or something? jesus titty****ing christ i can't believe this ****

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08-04-2009 , 05:12 PM

#77

bobboufl11

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 14,329

Looks impossible to me

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08-04-2009 , 05:15 PM

#78

ohead

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 6,136

So this is what heaven is like, a forum with never ending threads about how you take a ****

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08-04-2009 , 05:18 PM

#79

Vantek

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 5,806

Quote:

fwiw my two friends who also do this are v athletic/in good shape

Have you considered wiping while standing on your head?

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08-04-2009 , 05:19 PM

#80

Baltimore Jones

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 5,824

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobboufl11

Looks impossible to me

You're going to have to trust me when I say that it's not.

Edit: Although if you haven't been doing it your whole life it might be extremely difficult.

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08-04-2009 , 06:57 PM

#81

ddubois

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 7,696

I think I would have to completely remove my pants/underwear if I were to attempt a squat-****.

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08-04-2009 , 07:38 PM

#82

Baltimore Jones

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 5,824

Quote:

Originally Posted by ddubois

I think I would have to completely remove my pants/underwear if I were to attempt a squat-****.

Correct.

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08-04-2009 , 11:03 PM

#83

CocoaKrispies

grinder

Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 472

Quote:

Originally Posted by ddubois

I think I would have to completely remove my pants/underwear if I were to attempt a squat-****.

You could hang them on the hook in the stall!

Last edited by CocoaKrispies; 08-04-2009 at 11:11 PM. Reason: I could swear there was a seinfeld episode with george hanging up his pants but now i cant find it so maybe im crazy

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08-04-2009 , 11:11 PM

#84

daryn

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 26,913

you're thinking of the one where he takes his shirt off

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08-04-2009 , 11:15 PM

#85

CocoaKrispies

grinder

Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 472

close enough

Last edited by CocoaKrispies; 08-04-2009 at 11:16 PM. Reason: i suppose googling "costanza pants hanging bathroom" could have ended more poorly than it did.

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08-04-2009 , 11:22 PM

#86

Chesticles

stranger

Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 11

In before unrelated.....

I was once in the army and doing a tour in Iraq. I witnessed a middle aged Iraqi man take a crap with the stall door open and he had his pants (just pants) hung on the coat hangar.

You can't unsee what's been seen.

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08-04-2009 , 11:33 PM

#87

duracell

adept

Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 869

I remember when I was little I used to sit down when I wiped. At some point I guess I stopped, and now I'm not sure how I'd even manage it. How am I supposed to fit my hand down there? I feel like there's so much risk for getting poop on the hand or having your hand go into the toilet water. At home toilets are usually pretty deep so that wouldn't be a huge problem, but public toilets are always really shallow.

I guess I would prefer to wipe while sitting down, and I don't think it's weird at all that people do, but I don't get how to actually manage it.

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08-05-2009 , 12:04 AM

#88

sofocused978

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 6,765

stander

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08-05-2009 , 02:46 AM

#89

Freakin

bacon wannabe

Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 17,153

Quote:

Originally Posted by duracell

what is your height/weight?

This really isn't difficult.

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08-05-2009 , 07:07 AM

#90

Victor

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 71,953

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baltimore Jones

It's very difficult to get properly clean in this day and age, even with wet wipes (and FWIW, you obviously go dry, then wet, then dry). Unless you're eating all brown rice and beans and veggies (vegetarians often do not have to wipe at all), it's a ****ing mess down there and you need to shower before you're really clean. Howard Stern has spoken of this, so let it be known.

The real question is, who squats on top of the bowl to crap? Meaning pants completely off, feet on the seat and you're squatting. A lot of you fat ****s won't be able to do this, but try it if you can. It's the correct position you're supposed to be in. Sitting is unnatural and ****s with your bowels.

whole post pretty much blew my mind but esp bolded.

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08-05-2009 , 07:13 AM

#91

otnemem

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 8,298

Quote:

Originally Posted by duracell

How am I supposed to fit my hand down there? I feel like there's so much risk for getting poop on the hand or having your hand go into the toilet water.

Once again, your hand goes NOWHERE NEAR the toilet water/poo. How is this hard to understand?

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08-05-2009 , 07:17 AM

#92

thesilkworm

old hand

Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 1,747

Wow just shocked at the results of this poll. I agree with OP across the board.

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08-05-2009 , 07:28 AM

#93

Damontis

grinder

Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 446

is this really even a question? IMO sitting

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08-05-2009 , 07:49 AM

#94

koOma

veteran

Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 2,903

is this some poo flinging level? If not, it's a sad day for 2p2.

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08-05-2009 , 08:02 AM

#95

Vantek

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 5,806

People who wipe standing up should be shot.

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08-05-2009 , 10:28 AM

#96

Biko

Pokercast Pwner

Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,568

sitters are the ones that break toilet seats, continual movement to the side and tilting in order to wipe cause the seat to move. Consequently the hinges become damaged and eventually the whole seat and fixings break

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08-05-2009 , 10:46 AM

#97

Wee-Bey

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 4,501

Quote:

Originally Posted by NoahSD

People who wipe standing,
1) Wipe standing 'til you think your done.
2) Wipe sitting down and look at the TP.
3) Get really excited that you learned something new.
.

THIS. Got this revelation when i was like 5.

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08-05-2009 , 10:50 AM

#98

Wee-Bey

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 4,501

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobboufl11

Looks impossible to me

I've seen signs bathrooms in a couple of countries that explicitly state : PLEASE DO NOT SQUAT ON THE TOILET.

I laughed the first time and thought it was a bad English or some sort of mistake ( I was in a 3rd world country) then found out that a lot of people (Indians i think) do that.

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08-05-2009 , 11:14 AM

#99

JL514

because i can

Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 9,820

Quote:

Originally Posted by otnemem

Once again, your hand goes NOWHERE NEAR the toilet water/poo. How is this hard to understand?

These people must be thinking you go in between your legs. Thats the only way I could understand this irrational fear of getting your hand in the water.

YOU TILT A CHEEK OFF THE SEAT AND GO FROM THE SIDE PEOPLE! YOUR HAND NEVER GOES BELOW THE LEVEL OF THE SEAT AND NO WHERE NEAR THE WATER / POO