Most efficient ass wiping – standing up or sitting down? - Page 13 - Other Topics Forum - Discuss Pop Culture, Arts and Entertainment

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Most efficient ass wiping – standing up or sitting down?

View Poll Results: Standing or sitting?

Standing

289 40.59%

Sitting

423 59.41%

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03-13-2016 , 03:33 PM

#301

Didace

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 19,879

Nothing like a mom joke to get Alobar rolling.

Quote

03-13-2016 , 05:04 PM

#302

Bighurt52235

I was born to eat hamburgers

Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 24,218

I need to know if anyone stands completely upright before they're finished wiping.

Quote

03-13-2016 , 06:49 PM

#303

thabighurt35

**** you Monday

Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 11,588

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carnivore

Also, in South America, paper can't be flushed down the toilet. So next to the toilet is always a garbage can full of post buttwipe paper. Whatever, not the worst thing in the world. You get used to it and empty this little bin out frequently so it doesn't make the bathroom smell.

But for some reason this made me less attracted to women's butts while in South America. And that sucked and didn't really make sense.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BuckyK

This has literally never happened to anybody that ****s into a toilet that's not clogged.

this happens to meet all the time in toilets that are not clogged. It makes you feel like you just contracted aids

Quote

03-13-2016 , 08:12 PM

#304

CrunchyBlack

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 7,468

I'd literally never considered standing to whipe before opening this thread. Lunacy.

Dong contacting water does happen, but its more a function of toilet bowl size and shape than anything else imo

Quote

03-13-2016 , 08:48 PM

#305

Bighurt52235

I was born to eat hamburgers

Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 24,218

Just took my first dump since I became aware of this discussion. I realized what I do is hold myself about five inches off the seat with my opposite hand on the counter. Knees still nearly 90 degrees. Still more of a stander than sitter, I think.

Quote

03-13-2016 , 09:10 PM

#306

Natamus

Tripped and Fell

Join Date: Nov 2013 Posts: 16,388

You're a hybrid or a squatter big hurt.

Also I opened the "things that shouldn't piss you off but do" thread and was dumped into this thread and started posting unaware I was here.

But I feel this is an Important discussion in an election year

Quote

03-13-2016 , 09:19 PM

#307

Clear Quality

old hand

Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 1,227

Nobody stands straight up, knees locked out. Sitters never seem to understand this.

Quote

03-13-2016 , 09:23 PM

#308

WateryBoil

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Jul 2014 Posts: 5,762

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bighurt52235

I stand my ass maybe 8 inches off the seat, knees still bent. Thinking about wiping while seated feels like an impossibility in my head

this. its #1 best way

Quote

03-13-2016 , 09:27 PM

#309

blackize5

old hand

Join Date: Sep 2012 Posts: 1,358

Whenever I picture a stander in action, I can't help but imagine them as a toddler awkwardly bent over desperately trying to avoid smearing feces all over himself.

Quote

03-14-2016 , 05:16 PM

#310

p2 dog, p2

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 7,536

a lot of times i dont have to wipe my ass but when i do i usually grab a thick rag so i can really get in there and dig, not that weak chemical paper stuff

Quote

03-17-2016 , 10:36 PM

#311

ec_outlaw

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 15,050

The standers are probably the same guys who completely undo their pants when pissing, instead of just unzipping like was intended.

Quote

03-18-2016 , 07:32 PM

#312

Rapini

ragging

Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 13,096

Quote:

Originally Posted by ec_outlaw

The standers are probably the same guys who completely undo their pants when pissing, instead of just unzipping like was intended.

It's so hard for me to not laugh when I see a guy re-dressing himself after taking a piss.

Quote

03-19-2016 , 11:07 PM

#313

AllBlackDan

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 6,329

Quote:

Originally Posted by Princeandrew

If you stand and whipe you might as well be taking a bath with a bucket of toys, grabbing two action figures in opposite hands and clap them into eachother and make a loud explosion noise with your mouth while swirrling around in teh tub flooding the entire bathroom, then running aroudn the house butt naked while your mom chases you with a towel

Best post itt

Quote

03-20-2016 , 05:22 PM

#314

Jbrochu

banned

Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 16,054

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carnivore

Also, I don't know if this just happens because I have a big dick, but I ****ing hate it when I'm taking a **** and my dick falls down into the water. This should piss me off but if it means other people's penises are just really small then I'm fine with the trade off. Does this happen to anybody else? I have to hold my dick up everytime take a dump if I'm anything less than 100% flaccid.

You think you have problems? I have to sit and wipe, because when I stand sometimes I step on my schlong. Kind of makes dipping it accidentally in the toilet bowl seem like a day at the beach.

Quote

03-20-2016 , 05:24 PM

#315

Jbrochu

banned

Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 16,054

Quote:

Originally Posted by ec_outlaw

The standers are probably the same guys who completely undo their pants when pissing, instead of just unzipping like was intended.

I worked with a guy that used to drop his pants right to the floor when standing at the urinal. Not only was it extremely strange, but it also seems kind of gross to let your pants rub all over the floor in front of the urinal where people spray piss all over the place.

Quote

03-20-2016 , 07:19 PM

#316

citanul

Super Moderator

Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 18,865

Seems like wherever Carnivore is, the distance between water and ass is much shorter than in "normal" toilet situations. Otherwise there wouldn't be such a worry of dipping your hand in the water when wiping while sitting.

Also, wtf, as he gets more erect his dick points further and further down into the water? Also, why does he have an erection while ****ting?