Most efficient ass wiping – standing up or sitting down? - Page 11 - Other Topics Forum - Discuss Pop Culture, Arts and Entertainment

this is ****ing insane, i turn to my roommate and asked stand or sit, he says stand???? i go what? he goes you mean bend over type stand, i say yes, he says ohh, ya, ya.... wait, then what do ppl mean by 'sit?'

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05-12-2010 , 12:35 AM

#252

CheckRaise

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Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 22,067

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bojangles90

lol but seriously this is the proper technique:

Standing up, bent forward you grab 2 sheets, fold them together, front to back. Then you fold the 2 sheets yet again into half a sheet and go 70% back to front but not fully because then we have a chance of pushing **** from the a-hole to the area between your ass and balls.

Rinse and repeat until satisfaction is reached ldo.

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05-12-2010 , 03:27 AM

#253

imozyslow

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Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 3,026

Quote:

Originally Posted by CheckRaise

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05-12-2010 , 04:40 AM

#254

RosieTheGreat

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Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 2,192

Im actually a little confused here.

Does standing refer to actaully standing vertical at 180 degrees and then whiping your ass?

if so that is ****ing weird.

I slightly lift my ass off the toilet (6 inches) and then wipe. is that considered standing or sitting?

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05-12-2010 , 10:36 AM

#255

Derbos

veteran

Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 2,843

this thread blew my mind more than once

can't wait to take a dump to try out some new techniques ldo

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05-12-2010 , 01:27 PM

#256

ToWW

enthusiast

Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 72

Mostly sit but sometimes I lean forward if I feel like I just achieved a special one lol

btw the one thing that I've always found mindblowing is that I assume everyone drops some toilet paper in the bowl before taking a **** (to avoid gross splashing ldo) so how can one of the most important inventions in the last couple of hundred years be flawed lol?
The French/indians/ etc are clearly superior wrt toilet strat

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05-12-2010 , 01:39 PM

#257

tcash777

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Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 2,201

Shocked at all the sitting in this thread. I had no idea, therefore I tried it, and I did not like it. It's a lot more difficult to twist around while sitting than standing, cuz you have to lean, balance, twist, wipe and then stand. I prefer to get the standing overwith.

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05-13-2010 , 03:28 AM

#258

Baltimore Jones

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Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 5,824

Quote:

Originally Posted by ToWW

It's a crap [pun I guess] invention. I would again point people to this Wikipedia entry:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defecation_posture

...and let the enlightenment begin.

Any logistics questions, let me know.

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05-13-2010 , 04:25 AM

#259

pokerfish_ro

newbie

Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 43

so,on wiki somebody actually took the time to wright that?
i know we all want to leave our mark in the world,but that?
and to be ontopic
i was taught to wipe standing up,but as the years past i slowly but surely evolved to a sitting down position.
the toilet paper to avoid splashing trick is an interesting inovation.i will check and see if it works.altough i thing splashing is a design flaw in the toilet model(my home toilet does not splash,my grandparents one splashes on a regular basis)

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05-13-2010 , 08:16 AM

#260

loK2thabrain

Tiger > Jack

Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 23,203

im fit as a fiddle and im a stander, with a front to back technique. i also blot vs wipe because i heard thats the best way to never get teh roids. so far so good. if you think about it, why wipe? ur just smearing it to an area away from your hole if anything, and what do you gain?

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03-11-2016 , 03:17 AM

#261

aura

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Viggorous

My dad always says: "there are two kinds of people in the world: those who look at the paper (handkerchief) after they wipe ass (blow their nose) and those who don't."

I thought everyone looks.

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03-11-2016 , 07:58 AM

#262

Viggorous

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Quote:

Originally Posted by jalfrezi

How does your dad know that people do the opposite to him?

Through furious discussions we've had about which is best

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03-11-2016 , 08:00 AM

#263

Viggorous

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Quote:

Originally Posted by aura

I thought everyone looks.

A friend of mine was appaled because he wipes his ass by sticking the paper between his legs and then bending over, he asked me how I could avoid getting **** up and down my back by going around.
I asked him how the **** his nutsack wasnt covered in feces, he said it was, but that he'd rather have it on his balls than back.
Some people...

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03-11-2016 , 08:02 AM

#264

lonely_but_rich

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Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 24,110

I'm guessing by your name you look to make sure it's clean and he does it correctly?

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03-11-2016 , 08:47 AM

#265

Viggorous

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Quote:

Originally Posted by lonely_but_rich

I'm guessing by your name you look to make sure it's clean and he does it correctly?

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03-11-2016 , 08:59 AM

#266

brandoncla

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Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 5,728

Guessing seems to be the main issue here

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03-11-2016 , 04:56 PM

#267

STinLA

old hand

Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 1,882

Quote:

Originally Posted by aura

I thought everyone looks.

There is an entire thread dedicated to this topic somewhere in OOT.

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03-11-2016 , 08:02 PM

#268

aura

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Viggorous

My dad always says: "there are two kinds of people in the world: those who look at the paper (handkerchief) after they wipe ass (blow their nose) and those who don't."

Quote:

Originally Posted by aura

I thought everyone looks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by STinLA

There is an entire thread dedicated to this topic somewhere in OOT.

Anyone have a link?

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03-11-2016 , 09:11 PM

#269

JackInDaCrak

Just Another Dopamine Pump

Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 9,146

Quote:

Originally Posted by aura

Anyone have a link?

I think this

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/34...wiping-112374/

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03-11-2016 , 09:24 PM

#270

STinLA

old hand

Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 1,882

Quote:

Originally Posted by JackInDaCrak

I think this

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/34...wiping-112374/

Yeah, that's it.

And "aluminum tin" has got to be a level 1 troll.

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03-11-2016 , 10:09 PM

#271

aura

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Thanks, JackInDaCrak!

I didn't think about blind people.

Gonna read the thread now.

ETA: I still don't know why people stand up when they wipe. Why???

Last edited by aura; 03-11-2016 at 10:28 PM.

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03-11-2016 , 11:00 PM

#272

Carnivore

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WTF at wiping while still sitting? Why the **** wouldn't you stand?

I mean, so while sitting, you reach under yourself? That just seems brutally awkward and a great way to accidentally dunk your hand in the toilet.

Also, I don't know if this just happens because I have a big dick, but I ****ing hate it when I'm taking a **** and my dick falls down into the water. This should piss me off but if it means other people's penises are just really small then I'm fine with the trade off. Does this happen to anybody else? I have to hold my dick up everytime take a dump if I'm anything less than 100% flaccid.

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03-11-2016 , 11:03 PM

#273

Carnivore

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Also, in South America, paper can't be flushed down the toilet. So next to the toilet is always a garbage can full of post buttwipe paper. Whatever, not the worst thing in the world. You get used to it and empty this little bin out frequently so it doesn't make the bathroom smell.

But for some reason this made me less attracted to women's butts while in South America. And that sucked and didn't really make sense.

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03-11-2016 , 11:06 PM

#274

I_AM_EVIL

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If every **** was a clean cut then standing wouldn't be an issue.

I don't know about other people but 1 of my main goals while ****ting is to not smear it on any part of my body. I've managed to live +40yrs with absolutely no issues with wiping while sitting.

Have fun cleaning that grape sized nugget that you just smeared between your cheeks while standing b/c it didn't pinch off cleanly. ****ing disgusting.