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View Poll Results: Standing or sitting?
Standing 279 41.09%
Sitting 400 58.91%
Voters: 679. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 08-04-2009, 10:53 AM   #1
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Most efficient ass wiping standing up or sitting down?

A friend of mine recently told me that he wipes his arse sitting down. Is this crazy? I have spent my entire life standing up and bending forward to wipe my arse and cannot imagine doing anything else. I just assumed everyone else did it the same way.

Wiping is one of those things that you learn when youre young - and one of those things that you do so often, you never really think about the fact that there could be other ways to do it. The thing is, I cant remember when I learned to wipe my arse, is it our mums who teach us to do it ourselves, or do we just work it out? Could how we chose to wipe be a reflection of who we are as people?

I thought I would take a moment to discuss the pros and cons of standing vs sitting before I pass judgement:

STANDING:

Pros: Easier access to affected area, immediate gratification of seeing what you made in the bowl, appropriate for quick tactical strikes when out of the house (wipe, flush and trousers up in one movement)

Cons: my friend argued that standing may cause your butt muscles to clench and smear poo before ass wiping can take place. (Ive never had this problem)


SITTING:

Pros: Relaxing, can continue to read/jerk until fully satisfied

Cons: poor access to affected area, risk of incomplete wiping, potentially slow and undesirable in public


There are of course other considerations when wiping; back to front or front to back?, tissue or wet wipes? Neatly folded or single sheet?...But Ill leave those for another debate.
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Old 08-04-2009, 10:56 AM   #2
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Re: Most efficient ass wiping standing up or sitting down?

I've never heard of anyone standing besides ****ting in the woods or anywhere else, where they couldnt sit.
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Old 08-04-2009, 10:58 AM   #3
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Re: Most efficient ass wiping standing up or sitting down?

This sounds like something a toddler or a woman (in a really dirty bathroom) might do.
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Old 08-04-2009, 10:59 AM   #4
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Re: Most efficient ass wiping standing up or sitting down?

sweet we really needed another thread about how to wipe our asses

why don't you try wiping your ass in a fire
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Old 08-04-2009, 11:00 AM   #5
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Re: Most efficient ass wiping standing up or sitting down?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JabrielP View Post
Cons: poor access to affected area, risk of incomplete wiping, potentially slow and undesirable in public
Perhaps you are confused. When you are sitting in a slightly prone position, you have the best access to the area, and completely DON'T risk incomplete wiping.

When you stand, do you like bend over, or just fully standing you reach up there with toilet paper? That seems extremely problematic, and would likely just smear **** everywhere.
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Old 08-04-2009, 11:00 AM   #6
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Re: Most efficient ass wiping standing up or sitting down?

i like to lie on the ground and wipe
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Old 08-04-2009, 11:00 AM   #7
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Re: Most efficient ass wiping standing up or sitting down?

surprisingly enough...we've done this
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Old 08-04-2009, 11:02 AM   #8
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Re: Most efficient ass wiping standing up or sitting down?

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.

Ecclesiastes 1:9
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Old 08-04-2009, 11:06 AM   #9
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Re: Most efficient ass wiping standing up or sitting down?

So far I'm OOT weird for:

Not pulling my pants down when I urinate
Turning around to rinse my hair in the shower

If I'm weird for sitting down when I wipe, god help me I will quit this forum forever.
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Old 08-04-2009, 11:13 AM   #10
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Re: Most efficient ass wiping standing up or sitting down?

Quote:
Originally Posted by otnemem View Post
Perhaps you are confused. When you are sitting in a slightly prone position, you have the best access to the area, and completely DON'T risk incomplete wiping..
But your hand must therefore enter the toilet bowl? I see a problem here...

Quote:
Originally Posted by otnemem View Post
When you stand, do you like bend over, or just fully standing you reach up there with toilet paper? That seems extremely problematic, and would likely just smear **** everywhere.
Yes, I plant my feet firmly, flex my knees slightly and keep a straight back at approximately a 45-60 degree angle to the floor. It gives full access.
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Old 08-04-2009, 11:13 AM   #11
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Re: Most efficient ass wiping – standing up or sitting down?

Quote:
Originally Posted by otnemem View Post
So far I'm OOT weird for:

Not pulling my pants down when I urinate
Turning around to rinse my hair in the shower

If I'm weird for sitting down when I wipe, god help me I will quit this forum forever.
If all the points you listed are indicators of weirdness, then I am weird, too.
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Old 08-04-2009, 11:13 AM   #12
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Re: Most efficient ass wiping standing up or sitting down?

Quote:
Originally Posted by punkass View Post
surprisingly enough...we've done this
It's clearly an important issue.
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Old 08-04-2009, 11:16 AM   #13
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Re: Most efficient ass wiping standing up or sitting down?

How can you possibly wipe your ass sitting down? The toilet seat obstructs your hands. Need MSPaint.
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Old 08-04-2009, 11:22 AM   #14
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Re: Most efficient ass wiping standing up or sitting down?

Yes, but how do blind people know when they are done wiping???!?!
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Old 08-04-2009, 11:29 AM   #15
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Re: Most efficient ass wiping standing up or sitting down?

I remember the first time this thread happened. I was absolutely stunned it was almost 50/50. Prior to that thread if you would have told me there were adults who stood up to wipe their butts I would have assumed you were talking about people in a mental institution or something.
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