A friend of mine recently told me that he wipes his arse sitting down. Is this crazy? I have spent my entire life standing up and bending forward to wipe my arse and cannot imagine doing anything else. I just assumed everyone else did it the same way.

Wiping is one of those things that you learn when you’re young - and one of those things that you do so often, you never really think about the fact that there could be other ways to do it. The thing is, I can’t remember when I learned to wipe my arse, is it our mum’s who teach us to do it ourselves, or do we just work it out? Could how we chose to wipe be a reflection of who we are as people?

I thought I would take a moment to discuss the pro’s and con’s of standing vs sitting before I pass judgement:

STANDING:

Pros: Easier access to affected area, immediate gratification of seeing what you made in the bowl, appropriate for quick tactical strikes when out of the house (wipe, flush and trousers up in one movement)

Cons: my friend argued that standing may cause your butt muscles to clench and smear poo before ass wiping can take place. (I’ve never had this problem)


SITTING:

Pros: Relaxing, can continue to read/jerk until fully satisfied

Cons: poor access to affected area, risk of incomplete wiping, potentially slow and undesirable in public


There are of course other considerations when wiping; back to front or front to back?, tissue or wet wipes? Neatly folded or single sheet?...But I’ll leave those for another debate.

I've never heard of anyone standing besides ****ting in the woods or anywhere else, where they couldnt sit.

This sounds like something a toddler or a woman (in a really dirty bathroom) might do.

sweet we really needed another thread about how to wipe our asses

why don't you try wiping your ass in a fire

Perhaps you are confused. When you are sitting in a slightly prone position, you have the best access to the area, and completely DON'T risk incomplete wiping.

When you stand, do you like bend over, or just fully standing you reach up there with toilet paper? That seems extremely problematic, and would likely just smear **** everywhere.

i like to lie on the ground and wipe

surprisingly enough...we've done this

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.

Ecclesiastes 1:9

So far I'm OOT weird for:

Not pulling my pants down when I urinate
Turning around to rinse my hair in the shower

If I'm weird for sitting down when I wipe, god help me I will quit this forum forever.

But your hand must therefore enter the toilet bowl? I see a problem here...

Yes, I plant my feet firmly, flex my knees slightly and keep a straight back at approximately a 45-60 degree angle to the floor. It gives full access.

If all the points you listed are indicators of weirdness, then I am weird, too.

It's clearly an important issue.

How can you possibly wipe your ass sitting down? The toilet seat obstructs your hands. Need MSPaint.

Yes, but how do blind people know when they are done wiping???!?!

I remember the first time this thread happened. I was absolutely stunned it was almost 50/50. Prior to that thread if you would have told me there were adults who stood up to wipe their butts I would have assumed you were talking about people in a mental institution or something.

Sitting down does not mean both cheeks planted firmly on the seat. You tilt on to one cheek. You absolutely don't put your hand *in* the toilet, and the seat does not obstruct your hands.

seems like to much work

really?

Tilting 30 degrees to one side is somehow more work than standing, legs bent, at a 60-degree angle to the floor?

The grey stuff is the toilet paper ldo.

People who wipe standing,
1) Wipe standing 'til you think your done.
2) Wipe sitting down and look at the TP.
3) Get really excited that you learned something new.
4) Think about it a little more.
5) Cry for hours while sitting on the toilet (and possibly masturbating).

I scoot my ass across the rug like a dog.

TBH, squatting is a more accurate word.

Its all about texture...but we knew that!

I imagined that people sitting down wiped from behind, rather than navigating between the legs..?