Yeah, it's not like having another mouth to feed and person to clothe.

Each sport in school is around $500 and the competitive teams are $1300+. (Plus equipment and this goes on several times a year.) High fashion clothes/ shoes are a considerable cost and if you don't want to pay, expect to hear about it forever. A cell phone plus service, other high tech games, bicycles, skates, motorcycles and last but not least, cars.

Driving them everywhere, constant fast food on the run, extra for travel (more sports stuff, again several times a year!) This is just a tiny list...

You can certainly not buy these things, but you better live in a poor area, because this is the norm for most kids these days.

The nine year old likes clothes as much as her sister, so her costs (she is in multiple sports also) are about the same.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/0...n_5688179.html

In all fairness I think the numbers in this report can be misleading. The biggest expense is housing, but in reality many people have a 2 or 3-br house even before they have kids, so in reality housing costs would not go up just because you add a child to the household.

Obviously there are couples who live in small city apartments who end up moving to the burbs once they have kids, that is clearly an expense but it doesn't apply to all or even most parents.

Yeah but didn't they move into that 2 or 3 br house because they were planning on having kids at some point in the future? I think that's going to be the case the vast majority of the time. So in reality those costs should be fairly accurate, in reality.

I read this often and it scares me. What method of protection were you using? I use condoms and they seem to work well.

Coitus interruptus. Like I said, we had talked about and were both of the same mindset about whether to have kids. So while we definitely weren't trying, we weren't exactly going all-out to make sure it didn't happen either.

Life changed forever. Adulthood thrust upon you whether you're ready for it or not. Social life off the rails. Best snuggles you'll ever get. 2-3 year olds are mind bogglingly hilarious.

I got 2 of em now. I regret nothing. Don't miss my degenerate 20s lifestyle one bit.

Maybe my tune will change when they turn into teenagers, but I doubt it.

RDH,

GLGL with the

I love how you call it coitus interuptus instead of cumshots.

Having great kids is great.

Having bad kids suck.

There are some kids that have broken their souls of their parents. Rehab, never working, skipping school, etc.

It is a gamble with kids. They will produce the highest of highs and lowest of lows.

Babies are not for the weak. Ask any father to describe what it takes to get an eight month old ready to go to the mall for the afternoon.

You really sound like you're trying to convince somebody that having kids are great.

Personally, I go back and forth between wanting kids and not wanting kids. For about year now I've been firmly in the "no kids" zone. Simply put, I like my life without children. ****, sometimes I resent our dogs because of the time and money they require.
The funny thing is I've actually had this conversation with quite a few people at work (among nurses/nurse practitioners). The majority of these people are women and most of them with kids. And most of them will wistfully say, "yeah, sometimes I really regret having kids".
Most memorable scenarios involve one of our respiratory therapists hearing me say that my husband and I are on the fence and she basically said, "don't do it. don't get me wrong I love my kids, but if I could do it again, I wouldn't".

Most recently it was a nurse in her 50s with both of her children grown. We were talking about retirement. When I said, "I guess it'll be easier to save for retirement without kids" eventually the conversation came to, "kids are great, but I don't know if they're worth it" from her. And she lives a pretty fun life now (goes on vacation for about 5 weeks throughout the year).

I love my husband more than I thought I could love someone. And he would be a great father, and it would be an amazing thing to experience with him. But babies grow up. The world can be a really difficult and ****ty place. And quite frankly I'm already tired of being an adult.

And I'm currently in a 3 year relationship and engaged.

So the two people to respond to you are both completely different to your generalisation.

Keep judging though, I'm sure you are correct for everybody else in the thread, just a bit unlucky.

you assume that every post in the topic is a direct reply to you ?

Are any of you in my situation? The last male left on your branch of the family tree that can keep the family name "alive". Ugh, what makes it worse is my Dad brings it up in passing at times.

NFW condoms and withdrawal have 18% and 22% failure rates. I'd have more kids than Shawn Kemp and Jamal Lewis combined.

The graphic for Withdrawal is awesome.

The charts could be somewhat misleading if you dont read what those % are about.

Re: adoption.

I don't want to discourage anyone from this noble endeavor, but it is a lot different than the idyllic vision of adopting Little Orphan Annie. My wife and I looked seriously into adopting rather than making our own.

1. There aren't actually an excess of children needing adoption (especially newborns). If you want a child under 1 year, there is about a 50:1 ratio of couples looking:children needing homes. If you are willing to take on a 3-5 year old, the numbers are radically different, but keep in mind your bond will be quite different.

2. Most kids will be dealing with withdrawal, fetal alcohol syndrome, or another major health or emotional problem. It's extremely rare for a healthy child from a good home to be put up for adoption.

3. Depending on what country you live in, the child's family will be part of your life forever. Most studies show it's best for the child's development to be in contact with their birth parents, and governments agree. You are in essence adopting an entire extended family. This is especially true if you are white, as the child rarely will be, and it's good for them to be in contact with their culture and heritage.

It's a heroic undertaking, and I applaud anyone willing and able to take it on. Just be realistic about what you're getting into.

Depending on where one lives in the US, they might not have a choice. No idea where you're from, but living at home until you're 25, 28, 30+ is very commonplace in NYC nowadays. I have several people I can think of in my peer group from HS, college etc who still do.

It's completely off of the table. We're both people who like living life the way it is right now, and don't want someone else entering the mix. The decision's been pretty easy.

Living expenses increase as the square root of household size, so:

Single: 1
Childless couple or single parent: 1.4
Two parents + one kid: 1.7
Two parents + two kids: 2
Two parents + 19 kids: 4.6

But education costs should factor into the responsible parent's thinking. The DINK couple can choose to live in a location with crappy schools and lower taxes, while the single parent might want to live in a better school district or pay for private schools. College is obviously another whole world of expense, at least in the U.S. With a 17- and a 15-year-old I'm unfortunately going to pay peak college prices for my kids' education.

Speaking from my experience, if you want to settle down, then having kids is a great way to structure the settlement. If you don't want to settle down (yet), not having kids is a tremendous way to keep your options open. I feel satisfied with having lived a party and travel life throughout my twenties, and having settled down in my thirties. I have still enjoyed traveling, concerts, (semi-)fine dining, etc., even with kids, but it's certainly a different life than the one I would be living as a single or DINK.

My father's grandparents, the side with the DuBois name, had four boys: Earl (my grandpa), Virgil, Herb, and another who's name I forgot. I think they had 3 sons between all four of them, and of those three my dad was the only one who had a son. I am the ONLY male at this 'tier' of the family tree. Slackers.

I'm doing my part though; I had three boys.

And it's not like the world is short of DuBois or anything: it's like the 5th most common name in France.

Are you suggesting you know the state of the economy for the next 30 years? I would like to sign up for your newsletter.

What's the difference between people in your peer group who are self-sufficient and those still living at home, presumably all in NYC? My kids will be in the first group.