Occasionally I relate a personal gambling experience that is, imo, the sickest gambling story ever told. I know that I've only heard one other that comes close but not close enough. I'm going to tell it and invite you to relate a sick gambling story of your own but you're on your honor. Mine is 100% unembellished and so must be yours:
- - - - - - - - - - - -

In the late 80'/early90's I was enough of a roller to be limo'd and rfb suite comped at most of the casinos in AC. As a sick gambler the problem was that I'd keep gambling until I either had a huge win or went broke. I realized that if I could devise a way to lock up some of the money while I was winning then I couldn't go broke. I tried a number of schemes that didn't work until I hit upon this one:

I went to the locksmith that my company used and told them that I wanted a safe that used a key and that was small enough to carry around. They showed me one that they said was a favorite of the drug dealers because it could be bolted to the floor and quickly opened in case of a bust because you didn't have to dial a combo. I told them that I wanted a metal divider welded inside to make 2 separate compartments. I then had them drill a small hole on one side and I gave them a casino chip and told them to make a slot on the other side that the chip would fit into and no bigger.

When done I headed off to AC w/ the safe in a leather overnight bag and I left the key at home. While playing I would occasionally drop a large denomination chip down the slot and when I cashed out I'd roll up some bills and shove them into the hole on the other side. This worked great for 6 trips or so. I'd go broke but when I got home I'd open the safe and there were chips and money which usually brought me close to even or made me a winner.

All was well until one Saturday night at Resorts International when I'd been putting too much money into the safe and I was running out of cash. I found myself in the bathroom holding up the heavy safe and trying to dig chips/cash out w/ a paper clip but I'd designed the thing too well.

Back to the craps table w/ small money and unhappy because I had my room thru Sunday and I was a sick gambler. So I had the following conversation, at 3am, w/ the floor staff:

'Is there an all night supermarket or a Walgreens in town?'
'What do you need that for?'
'Well, there's something I need to get?'
'We can get you anything you want. What do you need?'
I was really embarrassed but finally I blurted out that I needed a drill.
'A drill?' What do you need a drill for?'
Eventually I had to haul my bag onto the rail and show them my safe and tell them that I needed to get into it. They all had a good laugh and said that at least now they knew why I'd been fiddling around w/ the bad all those times.

Long story made a bit shorter: In short order I was escorted by security into the bowels of the hotel to the machine shop where a worker used a drill press to open my box in no time flat. Naturally, I went broke.

Well, I figured that what I'd lacked was any sort of self-control so I would give it another shot. This time I picked a much smaller box w/ the same design.

A few weeks later I found myself going broke again, this time at the Trump Plaza, middle of the night again.

I called for the floorman:

'What can I do for you?', he asked.
'I want a drill press.'
'WHAT?
'I know it's unusual but I need a drill press.'

I'm sure that he had never, and never will, be asked for something like that for his entire career but I did get my drill press and that was the end of that experiment.

<-Suck

is there a part 2?

I'm thinking of a word that starts with d and ends with egenerate.

****ing ******ed

like seriously OP i hope you ****ing die for how ******ed the story you just wrote up is

so how much did you lose?

how are you doing now? financially?

is it true, once a degenrate, always a degenerate?

Part 2 was the second safe. But there are parts 3 thru 6,432'ish in which I descend the ladder of life to the sub-basement. I don't think I'd like to go into them. And now that I've mentioned this part I'd initially thought of doing a 'Have you ever thought you needed to go to GA?' w/ a poll when I realized that telling my 'maybe I should go to GA' story might be better.

btw: Something's just got to be done w/ the ppl who post 'first' and the ludicrous 'frist'.

somebody's outta oxys imo

**** the haters, OP. Great story, would read again!

or on them

YOU ARE THE OP YOU ****ING FART SNIFFER

did you forget to sign on your alt alt alt account? ****ing moron

Mucho, but at least I didn't lose the Eagles.

Money's ok and I'm off the pit games for years now but I'm still cautious. I only go to LV when my mom wants a vacation and I only bring a few hundo to play 0/8 at The Orleans.

Well, shucks, you caught me. But it's still a great OP, imo, and I would read it again!

I can personally attest that this is not always true.

Wait, let me try that again:

I can personally attest that this is not always true.

lol thats pretty degen i dont really get the hate

Lol... truth spoken... so much more likely to be aggro/irritable on them than off...

That was a sick great degen story HB. Pretty much every time jmakin is crazy angry he is also dead wrong.

hb, would read again

first gambling story that came to mind: I was to go to a 12 step meeting (not GA), but the poker game was too good to leave. and I was on a rush.
first clue that I might have a poker problem.

sick story, good read

cant beat it... guess ive never really been degen

not here. that story is dumb and belongs in bbv

plus his lame and failed attempt to pump up his own thread with an alt

Pretty sure he was joking...

You're an unreal d-bag/total psycho.

OP- I really liked the story. Definitely never heard anything like that before.

In 1985 when I was about to turn 12 I won $90 when Villanova beat Georgetown. **** Howard Beale, I was ANDY Beal, bitches!

jmakinmecrzy,

Howard is a blast, and the story is fine. I dunno if it's OOTish, but I enjoyed the read, and have zero complaints.

And if you don't get that Howard has no alt account and was doing that as a joke well.... uhmmm... let's just say your humor AND sarcasm meter may be severely broken today.

hahahaha