I've had sessions with a handful of professionals. Mainly Psychiatrists, but a couple were strictly psychologists. Regardless of who I'm receiving help from, it usually ends with me abruptly ending it. Either:

A) Therapist isn't particularly bright or insightful. Doesn't hold me intellectually accountable. I decide seeing them is as useful as chatting with a patron on a bus, or a homeless person.

B) Therapist isn't listening to me/is running a "sham" by talking to me as a population distribution and not an invidual; or they run me through a systematic approach which becomes obvious and then not very useful...example: I had six sessions with a guy once. At the last visit this happened:

me: No offense, but I'm not getting much out of this and don't see the point.
him: It's part of the process. (vaguely explains what he's doing each visit in sequence)
me: The process of getting me to return and pay for the next visit is what it sounds like. (he becomes starkly offended, I laughed at him and left.)

---

Yeah. Obviously some of this is on me, as having particularly high standards and not being the easiest person to get along with. I'm curious what people have found works/doesn't regarding therapy and how one can tell if a therapist is very good or not. It's expensive for me, and important. This is Tuma, btw. Thanks.

Best is to ask for referrals from other heath professionals or find out if anyone you know has had a therapist they liked. Barring that, go to a directory like Psychology Today, narrow down and check their websites, narrow down further and see if you can get free initial appointments with 2 or 3, and then see if you can find a good fit.

Psychiatrists are generally horrible therapists as they're focused on adjusting meds vs talk therapy.

Figure out what kind of therapy would be most helpful to you. You probably want CBT or something with a mindfulness component like DBT (which is used for BiPolar, though not sure if there's a lot of evidence based for that). But if you don't like open-ended conversations that are like chatting with someone on a bus, then you're ruling out psychdynamic approaches (which probably wouldn't be too helpful anyway). And if you don't like systematic approaches, then you're ruling out CBT, MBCT, DBT etc., and then there's not really anything left.

That's why meeting with someone first is helpful. They might do CBT, but might also be smart enough to incorporate it individualized ways depending on the client. Or they might be mindless idiots who are like, do these worksheets, and if you don't do your homework, I can't help you.

Well my therapist called me a bitch, but he's turned out ok. A lot of what he says isn't that insightful, but he gets me to question a lot of things that helps.

There you go. Ask MLYLT for a referral. People who've been to a therapist as a client are usually better judges than someone who knows them professionally.

Keep going to new ones untill you hit the jackpot, worked for me (took me around 8 tries fwiw).

Where do you work? I would check whether or not therapy at some level is part of your benefits package (it's part of mine). If all you're doing is going and talking for an hour, which is what most therapy is, see if you can find an option for as cheap as possible.

I've got nothing on therapists, but this made me smile.

Craigslist or Yelp FTW

Like "Am i a bitch?" "Why am i such a bitch?" and "Is he calling me a bitch coz he wants to bang?"

A therapist can be competent/professional and not be right for every client.

Unlike an MD, where for most things it doesn't matter a ton which one you see (they are all going to treat your flu the same way), the relationship between therapist and client is as much a factor in the success of treatment as their competence.

If you really feel it could be useful, don't be afraid to shop around a bit, although once you've found one you think could be useful, I'd challenge you to stick it out even if things seem to bog down at some point.

I've been seeing the same therapist for five or six years, with a year-ish-long gap after the first year and a half or so. I found him by emailing 5-6 therapists that accepted my insurance with an explanation of my situation and some basic questions. Several didn't respond, I didn't like how several others responded, and then my therapist called me and basically interviewed me to see if he thought he could help me. I liked that and started seeing him.

For that first year and a half I lied my ass off, tried to make sure that the combination of prescription drugs I was abusing was balanced well enough so that he wouldn't be able to tell, and generally wasted both of our time (but only my and my insurance company's money). Then I was like "welp I'm cured ttyl" and went off on my own. When the drug (life) situation came crashing down I went back to him and got really honest and it's been very very valuable since then.

OP, I don't know you, but I can tell you that for me, it is 100% about what I am willing to engage in and how open and honest I'm willing to be. "Doesn't hold me intellectually accountable" sounds like the kind of criticism I would've come up with before I really bought into the process. Allowing the fact that the therapist is getting paid to obstruct any work you're doing is a similar problem, I think. Maybe I just got lucky and have a great therapist, and I do think he's great, but I think it was much more important that I finally became willing to (desperate to, in fact) change.

www.theRapist.com

...has a listing of therapists of all kinds. Its the biggest site for therapists.

I've been through at least half a dozen and never did find an adequate one.

+1 on "this feels like chatting with a rando about life"

Sounds like going through tons of therapists and not finding one who is any good says more about the person seeking therapy than it does about all the "failed" therapists.

PM Jennifer Melfi

It's plausible but imo therapy is such a personal experience it's tough to find someone compatible.

That's pretty much what I'm saying.
Some people are compatible with almost anyone.
Some people are compatible with almost nobody.

I've heard good things about Dr. Tobias Fünke.

If you encounter a therapist who owns/drives a Corvette, stay away from that.

One last thought and then I'm out for a while.

---

Fairly interesting Ted Talk:



Cliffs:

- Psychiatric evaluation and diagnosis is comical compared to treatment of other sick organs in the body (true)

- With SPECT(?) imagining and tailored therapy there may be a radically more effective treatment.

- Daniel runs some clinic that I won't link.



Does anyone have further information about "this" kind of treatment?

LOL in America you best have health insurance or you are fkd!


Or move to Canada marry a Canadian. Then get help.

You don't seem to understand American health insurance.

Most people have it, and for most of that group, they still are ****ed in out of pocket costs when it comes to regularly scheduled therapy appointments.

Hire a hooker. They'll listen to whatever stupid crap you have to tell them and will make you feel good at the same time.

This is exactly like Canadian health insurance, so I guess he doesn't understand that either.

You're probably just running bad. Most people who look for a therapist probably found one earlier than you did due to luck.

Or possibly you're not being straightforward and direct enough to eliminate bad therapists at the first session. It's a numbers game, so the more therapists you see, the sooner you'll find a good enough fit.

Like the other guy said, you'll probably only find a good therapist when you absolutely NEED to find one.