All,

This thread is lacking the love that moist toilet paper deserves.

FWIW, in my bathroom I use normal toilet paper the "El Diablo" way until I suspect I am down to the last wipe or so. Then I use a moist towlet that is wiped then folded and serves for ~3 wipes. After that, one or two wipes with dry, normal toilet paper upon visual inspection proves that my ass is as clean as a reasonable person can expect.

The only drawback to moist paper is that they are made of stronger material(for hopefully obvious reasons) and thus are able to clog a toilet quicker than normal TP. More flushing is required, but that is an acceptable compromise.

For those who doubt the utility of moist tp. Please wipe your ass till you normally would with dry tp then execute one wipe with moist tp and visually inspect it. Yea....

Wet wipes are nice, sometimes i use the ones they give out at restaurants but i'm too lazy to go by the real adult **** wipes.

And,

Using paper towels to open a bathroom door after washing your hands is completely logical. Describing this as an OCD act in a vacuum is ******ed. How the **** is that OCD???????

Wiping really depends on what came out according to the Bristol Stool Chart....

Sometimes sitting to pee can be justified.

I sit to pee when I'm too drunk and afraid I'll miss the bowl if I don't.

Btw, I can't see how the sitting-down-to-wipe-while-doing-a-balancing-act-on-one-butt-cheek can possibly be more efficient than simply standing. (you don't have to stand up straight but sort of a half-squat so that u can at least reach around and wipe FRONT TO BACK, not "crack to sack")

fly and alex - I guess your ideas of germs elsewhere are somewhat valid. I really don't know.
I'm not paranoid and I really don't use the towel thing that much on the mens room door. But for those who do I think they are reasonably smart and not paranoid in the least.

But the germs I get on the door on the way in are not going to be the same germs as those on a handle on the way out imo. Guys don't wipe their ass, not wash, and then handle the entrance side of the door.
So to that end I'm not as worried about those germs on my way in and it really didn't occur to me that getting those germs on my weenie would be such a bad thing.
Getting those entrance-side germs on my hands on the way in doesn't bother me so much because I'll be washing them soon enough obviously.

A few people have wondered if standers must all be fatties or something.
Somebody else said they must be taller than average.

I've never sat in my life. And this would obviously include my childhood when I was pretty small.
I'm not going to claim to be skinny now because I could definitely stand to lose a few pounds. But I'm just a 35" waist which doesn't exactly make me the most obese guy out there. And I was 30-32" waist through college and most of my 20's.

Maybe there is a percentage of standers who do so because it's somehow easier due to their fattyness. But for me I don't believe this is the case. It just happens to be how I've always done it and it never even occured to me to do differently.

wow, this is like verbatim my thoughts.



edit: i must add i am taller than most and i do find little room for not standing

What do you mean, the part behind above your hole that your are sitting on? Does your crap spray all over your cheeks when your doing it?! OR is your hole directly on the toilet seat?!

If you really think it is easier to stand and wipe there is something seriously wrong with you. By standing you are FORCING your cheeks closer together. This is a FACT. How come no stander has come foward to justify why you would do this? By forcing your cheeks together you are causing smearing. This makes you do extra wipes. Give me some justification here on why you would do that?!

I sit, I wipe sack to back with a reach around approach (I don't go past my balls, I go around the back). I look at it. I don't touch the toilet seat with my hand EVER. I don't accidently brush crap on myself. And I wipe until there is no more crap on the paper. Then I use two fresh wipes to give me that ULTRA CLEAN feel.

By sitting, your cheeks are naturally spread further apart. This allows EASIER access to clean your butthole. Therefore, it will take you less wipes to remove any residue. Do you standers all have backcracks? (ie your back and arse are on the same spacial plane?)

People stand to wipe their ass? You learn something every day. That seems pretty silly to me.

I wipe the normal El D method. Lean wit it, Wipe wit it. Finish it off with a baby wipe.

I was just on the toilet and towards the end of my standard between the legs wipe I decided to give the reach around method a try. I was unable to get any residue on the paper this way even though I knew I wasn't finished wiping. I tried several different angles and wiping techniques but alas I had to go back through the legs to get what was left.

It really is strange to me to picture the 'wiping' motion that you reach arounders must use. When I go between I use front to back, back to front, all centered right around the *******. This just isn't possible by reaching around.

To pokerbob, if you want to use a papertowel to open the door because you think it's gross, that's fine, but don't pretend you are doing it to prevent sickness because you're not in any measurable degree.

you're right, 90% of the population of the first world is walking round with skidmarks.

OR, maybe you are just ******ed and doing it wrong?

I probably am, but that's kind of my point. Going between the legs and getting right to it comes naturally and anything else seems weird. I see this is the logic everyone uses in this thread and that's why it is filled with so many self righteous people. I guess what I didn't get across is that I'm sure that whatever crazy wiping motion you guys use gets the job done, there is no way it does it as quickly/easily as between the legs.

And really, 90%? Haven't you learned by this thread that there are all kinds of ass-wipers and that just because it's the way YOU do it does not mean it is ubiquitous at all.

worthless,

I tried the "stand-up" method. It was a success, although quite awkward. I have also tried the "between the legs" method in the past. Not so much a success, although I guess it is possible and would require more practice than any other method unless I lost the use of my hands and had to use my feet.

All,

Whatever method one uses, the first wipe generally has to have a front to back motion. After that, you can get more creative, but in general our mission is to keep our **** manageable. Wiping towards balls/taint/cooch(sp) seems counter-productive.

This thread also has missed the technique of spreading cheeks as you sit down. One or more people mentioned it, but all should try it. Seriously. When you sit, try and have your cheeks wound somewhat tight, not too tight, but rather tight. See if your wipe rate decreases.

worthless,

a lot of stuff is being argued here. standing, sitting, looking, not looking etc. and yeah a ton of people are f'ing weird, but i think most in this thread are in agreement that going between the legs is ******ed. i'm sure the 'reach around' number is wayyy above 70%.

also i laughed how you said 'just because YOU do it doesn't mean everyone does it....but anyway, my method is by FAR the best!'

It has to be said,

Wipe4rollz???

All,

Just thought of an instance where it can be forgiven for going under to wipe.

Bodybuilders.

The one I know is absolutely incapable of scratching any part of his back. I imagine he would have similar difficulty wiping in the traditional manner.

When you reach arounders go to look at the paper, how does that work? When I pull it out of in between I only have to move it 3-5 inches from my ass to look/fold and go back in.

Have we talked about whether people pee through the hole or go over the top in this thread yet?

When my back is out, I have a great deal of difficulty using my normal routine, so I'm forced to improvise. Even still, the five-hole never occurred to me. The next time I am faced with this conundrum I maygive it a whirl.

lol does anyone use the pinch method? no way this works imo

What this thread really needs is a scientific poll:
sitting/standing
sitters: behind the back or through the legs
front to back/back to front/side-to-side???
look/no look
wash hands/no wash
paper towel to turn off faucet and open door?

and these results need to be cross-referenced to:
age
height
weight
poker acumen

Wtf girls don't make number 2 ?

Fly,

"Microbob, lots of things are icky and gross and I don't do them, but I don't need to justify that with the belief that I'll get sick if I do them."

Good point. That's why I use the paper towels to open bathroom door handles, simply because touching the handles is gross.

I tried between the legs while sitting this morning, and I never felt more awkward and ******ed in my life. What a ****ing idiotic way to wipe.