Two Plus Two Publishing LLC Two Plus Two Publishing LLC
 

Go Back   Two Plus Two Poker Forums > 2+2 Communities > Other Other Topics

Notices

Other Other Topics Discussion of arts & entertainment, pop culture, food & drink, health and exercise, fashion, relationships, work, and just about anything else in life except poker, sports, religion and politics.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-15-2012, 11:11 PM   #1
banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 21
High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

Yes, shill, sorry I am quite famous, and cannot post publicly...

I am in my 30's...I dated this women when we were young teenagers, we shared so many 1st's together, yes, everything, we went through so many tough things together.

After 5 years, I was young, and not ready to get married. She also did not approve of my "hobby" despite making 2x as much as her father. We broke up and moved on. She became a lawyer, I became a pro gambler. Luckily I was smart enough to buy some real estate. I have money now, but still use it to invest, gamble.

"It would not last" "It's gambling" etc... in any case years after we broke up we still kept in touch, but we never talked about each others love life, we just don't ask.

We talk almost every week. We can't be together, but we cannot be friends. It's just too hard to see each other with someone else. Anytime thou not related to relationships we are there for each other. It is really a weird "friendship/loveship"

The ball has always been in her court. She broke up with me. She loves me, but not as much as I love her. Her parents are really conservative and beat it in her head a husband has to be a provider, not just someone you love.

For me, it's only about Love.

So last night her boyfriend of 3 years proposed. She said yes. He works at a bank as a manager and makes a good salary, but a lot less than me, especially after taxes.

So I am crushed, I always thought we could eventually get back together. I just can't work at an office to please her conscience (or her parents).

I now have to seriously face the fact I will marry someone i will never love as much as her. It really hurts.

Tonight it's a bottle of scotch (single malt) and some chips. Maybe pizza.

I am wondering now if I made a mistake. If I should sacrifice my happiness just to be with her.

What do you think OOT?
Forces Rushing is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2012, 11:19 PM   #2
Born Ready
 
Alobar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: 3rd turtle from the bottom
Posts: 37,983
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

I can relate to this a lot.

Look on the bright side tho, someone out there will now be able to have all of you if you choose to let them, as you wont always be holding something back in hopes.

It hurts, but its finally freedom. If you choose to embrace it, you never know where you will end up.
Alobar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2012, 11:21 PM   #3
adept
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 875
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

Forces,

I don't know what to say. It sounds like you have a lot going for you in life. This too shall pass. Best of luck.
BornToPun is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2012, 11:21 PM   #4
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
VarianceMinefield's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Eye Test Guy
Posts: 53,814
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

i think you focus too much on money OP

you mention that this new guy doesnt make as much money as you

thats not really important
VarianceMinefield is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2012, 11:25 PM   #5
hot gay mess
 
knivesout's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: looking for birds i met last fall
Posts: 4,978
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

The only thing you can do is forget about her, which means not talking to her every week, etc. You're just killing yourself slowly by doing so. It's obvious the only reason you've maintained contact is on bc of the chance she might take you back, which isn't going to happen. Time to cut and run (tbh, you should've done this years ago). You can't ever expect to be happy if you keep clinging to the past (cliche but true).

I had a similar situation and now they're pretty much married and happy. I've spoken to him maybe twice in the last two years, and even though I miss him a lot and would love to talk to him every week, I know that staying close would slowly kill me. I even blocked his FB feed. It sucks but it's the only thing you can do if feelings are that strong.
knivesout is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2012, 11:27 PM   #6
banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 21
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

My point about the money is her contradiction. She wants a good paying job to support a family, yet for 11 years I have cleared more every year then her boyfriend. I have property, investments, lots of liquidity, I have shown her, but she believes it could end anytime.

I have not gotten this far by putting all my eggs in one basket. I have multiple sources of income, but to her a corporate job or being paid by a company rather then yourself is more "stable".

I do think she is being very judgmental and taking advice from her parents rather then me, and this is why I never dropped everything for her. I don't think it's right for your partner to ask you to sacrifice your happiness (which primarily is freedom) to adhere to her insecurities over my presumed eventual financial collapse.
Forces Rushing is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2012, 11:28 PM   #7
adept
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 873
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forces Rushing View Post
Yes, shill, sorry I am quite famous, and cannot post publicly...
in b4 fame musta come outside of gambling, coz few if any pro gamblers are quite famous.
ferVance is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2012, 11:32 PM   #8
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
gder402's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Beerelier
Posts: 10,993
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forces Rushing View Post
My point about the money is her contradiction. She wants a good paying job to support a family, yet for 11 years I have cleared more every year then her boyfriend. I have property, investments, lots of liquidity, I have shown her, but she believes it could end anytime.

I have not gotten this far by putting all my eggs in one basket. I have multiple sources of income, but to her a corporate job or being paid by a company rather then yourself is more "stable".

I do think she is being very judgmental and taking advice from her parents rather then me, and this is why I never dropped everything for her. I don't think it's right for your partner to ask you to sacrifice your happiness (which primarily is freedom) to adhere to her insecurities over my presumed eventual financial collapse.
youre also single because you seem to have left your eggs in one basket, either beg for her 1 last time or move on
gder402 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2012, 11:34 PM   #9
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
thrasher789's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Indy
Posts: 6,104
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

It may not seem like it now but you are in fact lucky and with time will find a woman that is ok with your lifestyle, you'll know when you find her.
thrasher789 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2012, 11:34 PM   #10
adept
 
Jolt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: one mans beat is anothers mans brag
Posts: 716
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

Are you famous for being on the bachelorette tv show?
Jolt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2012, 11:35 PM   #11
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
thrasher789's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Indy
Posts: 6,104
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

Quote:
Originally Posted by gder402 View Post
youre also single because you seem to have left your eggs in one basket, either beg for her 1 last time or move on
as much scotch as you drink tonight do NOT do this please
thrasher789 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2012, 11:38 PM   #12
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
gder402's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Beerelier
Posts: 10,993
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

well i didnt mean drunkenly beg or anything

and ya, if she cant accept your lifestyle and youre this desperate its not good man
gder402 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2012, 11:42 PM   #13
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
thrasher789's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Indy
Posts: 6,104
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

Quote:
Originally Posted by gder402 View Post
well i didnt mean drunkenly beg or anything

and ya, if she cant accept your lifestyle and youre this desperate its not good man
I know, I'm just pointing it out as he pointed out his night will consist of drinking and probably reading this thread lol
thrasher789 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2012, 11:44 PM   #14
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
TomCollins's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: The Blockchain
Posts: 42,372
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

You two are not good together. Stop talking to her. Move on.
TomCollins is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2012, 11:44 PM   #15
Pooh-Bah
 
Fear Itself's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Giving NY the business.
Posts: 3,509
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

Fear Itself is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2012, 11:44 PM   #16
banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 21
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

I cannot beg. I am honest with myself. I am stubborn. I think she is making the mistake. I will never beg someone to be with me, that does not want me for who I am. I am just crushed because I know we would have a great life together.

I have dated other girls, had good relationships, but nothing like the feelings I had for her. Especially when we were kids. It's just not right. I don't know.

4 shots so far.
Forces Rushing is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2012, 11:45 PM   #17
Born Ready
 
Alobar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: 3rd turtle from the bottom
Posts: 37,983
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forces Rushing View Post
My point about the money is her contradiction. She wants a good paying job to support a family, yet for 11 years I have cleared more every year then her boyfriend. I have property, investments, lots of liquidity, I have shown her, but she believes it could end anytime.

I have not gotten this far by putting all my eggs in one basket. I have multiple sources of income, but to her a corporate job or being paid by a company rather then yourself is more "stable".

I do think she is being very judgmental and taking advice from her parents rather then me, and this is why I never dropped everything for her. I don't think it's right for your partner to ask you to sacrifice your happiness (which primarily is freedom) to adhere to her insecurities over my presumed eventual financial collapse.
I went through the exact same thing. The girls mom even attempted suicide because her daughter was dating such a pathetic loser as myself. Didnt matter how much I made or how much logic I used or whatever. Some people just dont get it.

Thats one of the drawbacks of making your living the way you do, you just have to accept that there are people out there who just wont ever get it, no matter what because there is such a stigma attached to it. Its like trying to convince a religious person God doesnt exist, it just aint gunna happen.

You made your choice, and she made hers. Dont maryter yourself.

You obviously understand odds and probabilities, you really think out of the 3 billion or so woman on the planet there arent any who are a better match for you than her? You just have a lot invested in her, and a huge part of your identity tied up in it because she was the one you were with when you first felt so many different powerful emotions. But thats how everyone is with their first love, and thats why so many people end up divorced cuz they married their first love even tho they knew it wouldnt work, because of all those intense feelings. I mean just look at OOT, how many threads are started by 25 year old guys whove been in a relationship for 6 years, and its completely obvious to everyone whos been there done that, that the relationship should have ended about 4 years ago and that the OP needs to move on. You should be thankful she had what it took to actually not marry you even tho she doesnt agree with your lifestyle, cuz youd have just ended up as another statistic.
Alobar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2012, 11:46 PM   #18
Pooh-Bah
 
Fat-not-Thin Man's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 3,797
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

1. show up at wedding drunk
2. cause havok (before ceremony ldo)
3. argument, fight, breakup
4. ?????? (feel-up bridesmaid)
5. PROFIT!!!!!!!11
Fat-not-Thin Man is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2012, 11:49 PM   #19
Born Ready
 
Alobar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: 3rd turtle from the bottom
Posts: 37,983
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forces Rushing View Post
I am just crushed because I know we would have a great life together.
You would have had a great life together if she was someone different than who she is. Shes 90% perfect and you cant change that last 10%. Find someone who you dont have to change something fundamental about in order to have a great life together.
Alobar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2012, 11:49 PM   #20
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
TomCollins's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: The Blockchain
Posts: 42,372
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forces Rushing View Post
I cannot beg. I am honest with myself. I am stubborn. I think she is making the mistake. I will never beg someone to be with me, that does not want me for who I am. I am just crushed because I know we would have a great life together.

I have dated other girls, had good relationships, but nothing like the feelings I had for her. Especially when we were kids. It's just not right. I don't know.

4 shots so far.
She is not the one making the mistake. You are the one making the mistake assuming she thinks like you. She doesn't. She has different preferences than you. She is not wrong.

She would be miserable with you and you are too blind to see this. Find someone who would be happy with you.
TomCollins is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2012, 11:49 PM   #21
banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 21
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alobar View Post
I went through the exact same thing. The girls mom even attempted suicide because her daughter was dating such a pathetic loser as myself. Didnt matter how much I made or how much logic I used or whatever. Some people just dont get it.

Thats one of the drawbacks of making your living the way you do, you just have to accept that there are people out there who just wont ever get it, no matter what because there is such a stigma attached to it. Its like trying to convince a religious person God doesnt exist, it just aint gunna happen.

You made your choice, and she made hers. Dont maryter yourself.

You obviously understand odds and probabilities, you really think out of the 3 billion or so woman on the planet there arent any who are a better match for you than her? You just have a lot invested in her, and a huge part of your identity tied up in it because she was the one you were with when you first felt so many different powerful emotions. But thats how everyone is with their first love, and thats why so many people end up divorced cuz they married their first love even tho they knew it wouldnt work, because of all those intense feelings. I mean just look at OOT, how many threads are started by 25 year old guys whove been in a relationship for 6 years, and its completely obvious to everyone whos been there done that, that the relationship should have ended about 4 years ago and that the OP needs to move on. You should be thankful she had what it took to actually not marry you even tho she doesnt agree with your lifestyle, cuz youd have just ended up as another statistic.
Thanks so much for your input. Sounds like a carbon copy of my life, but to a lesser extent. I can't imagine you dealing with your gf mom trying to commit suicide.

Her mother would always not welcome me, or invite me over for dinner. They are Italian and the mother wears that pants. Contrary to movies, Italian women run the show.
Forces Rushing is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2012, 11:52 PM   #22
veteran
 
EfromPegTown's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Winnpeg
Posts: 2,608
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

Quote:
Originally Posted by TomCollins View Post
Stop talking to her. Move on.
This.
EfromPegTown is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-16-2012, 12:03 AM   #23
banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 21
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

Sorry, I am on my 5th shot tonight so I am letting it all out...

Whenever I wake up from sleep from an outside interference (cat, phone, etc...) and my brain is still processing delta waves, I get this elevated level on conscience thing going on. It lasts for about 3-7 seconds...then is it's gone.

During this elevated conscience...I think about the universe, my existence, i look at my body, and how it functions, and how I am such an amazing, complicated entity. I think about my perspective. That I am a tiny spec of bacteria on this big sphere of a living life form (the earth) and that this life form floats in the vacuum of space, and that we are so small, and so insignificant.

I wonder if we are an experiment by a higher intelligence, like bacteria growing in a lab dish. That are limitations are within a sphere (the universe). Try explaining the workings of a space shuttle to an ant. That is how I feel about us, that we the ants, will never be able to comprehend the level of intelligence of a higher entity.

I wish I could trigger delta waves while I am "awake". I don't believe it's just sleep/rest function for humans. I believe we can use our brain far more then we have become accustomed to.

Am I crazy, or do you guys think of stuff like this too? Or do you just think I gotta pee and I want a poptart?
Forces Rushing is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-16-2012, 12:07 AM   #24
journeyman
 
smokeandmirrors's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 317
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

I have someone in my life like this. Teenage friends, dated, broke up, now in some strange but comfortable limbo between relationship/friendship. I don't know what it is but sharing a lot of "firsts" growing up with a significant other establishes an amazing bond I haven't found with anyone else. No extra effort required to get to know intimate details about the other.

gl man, if she's been seeing someone else for 3 years while you were single then you're drawing kinda dead imo but all the best in salvaging what you can anyways.

Last edited by smokeandmirrors; 02-16-2012 at 12:09 AM. Reason: Whoops, just re-read alobar's post. Also stop smoking so much pot.
smokeandmirrors is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-16-2012, 12:08 AM   #25
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
schu_22's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: One yard
Posts: 35,405
Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

First of all, if you're taking shots of a single malt, you're doing it wrong
schu_22 is offline   Reply With Quote

Reply
      

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:54 PM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.
Copyright 2008-2010, Two Plus Two Interactive
 
 
Poker Players - Streaming Live Online