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Old 02-15-2012, 11:11 PM   #1
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High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

Yes, shill, sorry I am quite famous, and cannot post publicly...

I am in my 30's...I dated this women when we were young teenagers, we shared so many 1st's together, yes, everything, we went through so many tough things together.

After 5 years, I was young, and not ready to get married. She also did not approve of my "hobby" despite making 2x as much as her father. We broke up and moved on. She became a lawyer, I became a pro gambler. Luckily I was smart enough to buy some real estate. I have money now, but still use it to invest, gamble.

"It would not last" "It's gambling" etc... in any case years after we broke up we still kept in touch, but we never talked about each others love life, we just don't ask.

We talk almost every week. We can't be together, but we cannot be friends. It's just too hard to see each other with someone else. Anytime thou not related to relationships we are there for each other. It is really a weird "friendship/loveship"

The ball has always been in her court. She broke up with me. She loves me, but not as much as I love her. Her parents are really conservative and beat it in her head a husband has to be a provider, not just someone you love.

For me, it's only about Love.

So last night her boyfriend of 3 years proposed. She said yes. He works at a bank as a manager and makes a good salary, but a lot less than me, especially after taxes.

So I am crushed, I always thought we could eventually get back together. I just can't work at an office to please her conscience (or her parents).

I now have to seriously face the fact I will marry someone i will never love as much as her. It really hurts.

Tonight it's a bottle of scotch (single malt) and some chips. Maybe pizza.

I am wondering now if I made a mistake. If I should sacrifice my happiness just to be with her.

What do you think OOT?
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Old 02-15-2012, 11:19 PM   #2
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Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

I can relate to this a lot.

Look on the bright side tho, someone out there will now be able to have all of you if you choose to let them, as you wont always be holding something back in hopes.

It hurts, but its finally freedom. If you choose to embrace it, you never know where you will end up.
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Old 02-15-2012, 11:21 PM   #3
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Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

Forces,

I don't know what to say. It sounds like you have a lot going for you in life. This too shall pass. Best of luck.
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Old 02-15-2012, 11:21 PM   #4
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Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

i think you focus too much on money OP

you mention that this new guy doesnt make as much money as you

thats not really important
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Old 02-15-2012, 11:25 PM   #5
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Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

The only thing you can do is forget about her, which means not talking to her every week, etc. You're just killing yourself slowly by doing so. It's obvious the only reason you've maintained contact is on bc of the chance she might take you back, which isn't going to happen. Time to cut and run (tbh, you should've done this years ago). You can't ever expect to be happy if you keep clinging to the past (cliche but true).

I had a similar situation and now they're pretty much married and happy. I've spoken to him maybe twice in the last two years, and even though I miss him a lot and would love to talk to him every week, I know that staying close would slowly kill me. I even blocked his FB feed. It sucks but it's the only thing you can do if feelings are that strong.
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Old 02-15-2012, 11:27 PM   #6
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Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

My point about the money is her contradiction. She wants a good paying job to support a family, yet for 11 years I have cleared more every year then her boyfriend. I have property, investments, lots of liquidity, I have shown her, but she believes it could end anytime.

I have not gotten this far by putting all my eggs in one basket. I have multiple sources of income, but to her a corporate job or being paid by a company rather then yourself is more "stable".

I do think she is being very judgmental and taking advice from her parents rather then me, and this is why I never dropped everything for her. I don't think it's right for your partner to ask you to sacrifice your happiness (which primarily is freedom) to adhere to her insecurities over my presumed eventual financial collapse.
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Old 02-15-2012, 11:28 PM   #7
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Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

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Yes, shill, sorry I am quite famous, and cannot post publicly...
in b4 fame musta come outside of gambling, coz few if any pro gamblers are quite famous.
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Old 02-15-2012, 11:32 PM   #8
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Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forces Rushing View Post
My point about the money is her contradiction. She wants a good paying job to support a family, yet for 11 years I have cleared more every year then her boyfriend. I have property, investments, lots of liquidity, I have shown her, but she believes it could end anytime.

I have not gotten this far by putting all my eggs in one basket. I have multiple sources of income, but to her a corporate job or being paid by a company rather then yourself is more "stable".

I do think she is being very judgmental and taking advice from her parents rather then me, and this is why I never dropped everything for her. I don't think it's right for your partner to ask you to sacrifice your happiness (which primarily is freedom) to adhere to her insecurities over my presumed eventual financial collapse.
youre also single because you seem to have left your eggs in one basket, either beg for her 1 last time or move on
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Old 02-15-2012, 11:34 PM   #9
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Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

It may not seem like it now but you are in fact lucky and with time will find a woman that is ok with your lifestyle, you'll know when you find her.
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Old 02-15-2012, 11:34 PM   #10
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Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

Are you famous for being on the bachelorette tv show?
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Old 02-15-2012, 11:35 PM   #11
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Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

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youre also single because you seem to have left your eggs in one basket, either beg for her 1 last time or move on
as much scotch as you drink tonight do NOT do this please
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Old 02-15-2012, 11:38 PM   #12
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Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

well i didnt mean drunkenly beg or anything

and ya, if she cant accept your lifestyle and youre this desperate its not good man
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Old 02-15-2012, 11:42 PM   #13
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Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

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well i didnt mean drunkenly beg or anything

and ya, if she cant accept your lifestyle and youre this desperate its not good man
I know, I'm just pointing it out as he pointed out his night will consist of drinking and probably reading this thread lol
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Old 02-15-2012, 11:44 PM   #14
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Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

You two are not good together. Stop talking to her. Move on.
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Old 02-15-2012, 11:44 PM   #15
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Re: High School / College Sweetheart Getting Married...not to me...soul crushed

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