Quote:
Originally Posted by BenT07891
You're probably right...when I made this thread I was sort of in a panic. Late last week I had the sudden realization that I liked her, then instantly remembered she's engaged. Then looked back at all those "signs" I mentioned, which at the time they happened I thought nothing of them, wondering in retrospect and taken as a whole if they meant anything...but probably not, I think she just really respects me as a co-worker and thinks I'm competent....
...though why would she ask me for my personal phone number? I never have to work off-hours and am not expected to have to handle anything on my off hours. And during my work hours, I've got a separate land-line phone and am always available by instant message (AIM messenger-like thing)...so I'm still not sure that these signs are completely meaningless, but I'm definitely going w/ the "do nothing" option. The pain of realizing that it's too late for me to make a move didn't last long luckily, just a slight sting lasting a few hours but I'm over it now .
First of all, what everyone else itt has been saying has been totally, totally wrong. They think you've been pining for this chick for over a year ("women don't like men who wait a year to make their move") but you just started pining, like, two days ago--that's completely different! It's pretty much fine to make your move right now; waiting would be creepy. The trick behind avoiding "sexual harassment" claims is not to make any unwanted sexual advances, or at least any obviously unwanted sexual advances. So as long as you can plausibly think she wants it, you're golden! Also, the 6-month mark after moving in together is prime "itchin" time.
Now here's a little warning; believe it or not, I have it on good authority that socially skilled, attractive women...actually will flirt...just for..."fun", like to see how a guy reacts and toy with him. I know, I know--that seems pretty misleading and unfair, right? Like it *should* just be used as a strict gateway to sexual relations! Anyway, just stew on that for a bit; this chick may actually *be* flirting with you and yet...not trying to get you romantically. A horrifying possibility, but one you should consider.
Now, I'm not telling you to trick her into anything but sometimes those after a mere thrill of innuendo can be moved from point A to point B with the help of a little alcohol. Obviously, don't try to get her drunk at the office because you're so career-focused. Instead, you might try to take her some place like a bar that serves drinks. That may seem like a tough sell, but in between work-talk maybe slip in something creative like, "Hey, you wanna grab a quick drink after work?" The great part about this plan is, once you're at the bar, it's fairly easy to add a second drink and so on. You may even find it improves your social skills AND her looks! Assuming everything goes well, btw, THIS would be the appropriate time to say, "If only you weren't engaged..."
And now I'll just straight-out ask; why do you think it noteworthy that her fiance proposed to her, instead of her proposing to him? Do you think it's even common for the chick to be the one proposing? You don't seem to be expecting her to ask you out now, so what gives?