So just to cliff this:
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Originally Posted by BenT07891
...she talks to me daily...gives me lots of compliments...
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I've gradually come to realize that she is one of only a handful of girls I've ever met in my life who has a personality that I'm just very drawn to and attracted to.
You have a good rapport with her because she's nice to you and gives you ego and boner-swelling compliments. I imagine you haven't had that with a ton of girls. I would guess it's at least 95% that it's the above and not because you have an extra-good personality match.
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The problem: She moved in w/ a different guy half a year ago and got engaged a few months ago.
All the girls I've ever ever loved have moved in with a different guy and gotten engaged while they were falling head over heels for me.
Also, she sounds like a winner. Lifelong partner material.
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The only thing I got that indicates she may not be extremely happy w/ him is an off-hand comment of something like "...I mean, my parents seem to like him..."
Well that comment - if taken properly in context - means you have a good shot. Should you take it? Hell no.
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So what do I do??? Options...
A. Express my attraction to her but present myself as a "back-up" in case things don't work out w/ the guy. Tell her something along the lines of "...but I'm not going to try to steal you from him as you two are already engaged, and trying to cancel the engagement is a scummy thing to do at this point." Things afterwards may not be too awkward w/ this option.
If you must pursue her (I'd work on your social life instead as a far far better option for personal growth and happiness and finding the right girl), then this is the way to go. Plant a seed in her mind firmly but as subtly as possible. Next time she complains about her bf or something - "well if you weren't engaged I'd ask you out" - smile, pass it off as joke/friendly compliment (there is a zero chance you'll be able to do this, but I'm giving you advice here that assumes competence), and put the seed in her mind.
If she likes you, it will grow.
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B. Express my attraction to her but more aggressively, perhaps asking her if she's really happy w/ this guy or try to convince her that I'm better. Things afterwards will be extremely awkward if I'm rejected, but this has the highest chance of long-term success.
This is your call. It's ugly as hell, and not the best way to start a relationship, imo.
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C. Reach out to other co-works to try to get more background info to found out if she's getting engaged just because she doesn't want to reach her 30's unmarried as opposed to because she finally found "the one"?
You're overthinking this.
The pro play is to scale back on work and try to improve your social life a little. There are a lot of girls out there. Millions of eligible ones who would make you happier than this girl, and with none of the complications. Go find them.