I'm so sorry.







Just kidding, but I hope you'll lose today against Bordeaux which is the only city I reckon.

I mostly dated guys that are in the similar pay check category. For big things, if it comes to big things, we split. If we go out ... it depends... Most of the time guys pay or it is something like the guy pays for the movie tickets and I - for popcorn&coke. I am also rather a cheap date. I can't remember last time that a date with me did cost a guy more than 20 Euros. Few times I dated guys who made a lot less than me. Then I just picked the tab for every date. I mean the dates are not a cost category that is gonna make me poor. And if I save this 20 Euros I am still not going to be rich.

One thing was few times a complete turn-off.

First date. Guy asks me. It is a coffee date. I take standard the cheapest option for 2 Euros. Guy insists on everyone pays for his own order. Complete super turn-off. It is not so that this 2 Euros are going to change my or his financial situation, but it is such a crappy role distribution. I mean I make an effort to look good for my dates. I think about clothing, make-up and so on. I try to make it fun for him. And then this .... "everyone pays for his order" ..... it is not even cheap. It is such a loud scream "You are on your own in every smallest thing". I felt like I stepped into a pile of crap after this date and clearly politely declined further contact. It is not about the money, but more about what does this action signal.

I feel the same, Lapka. It would say something about his priorities, and being a part of a team isn't one of them.

I wonder if this is also a bit of a generational thing?

It seems like most of us women are mid-thirties and most of the men advocating 50/50 are early/mid twenties?

If a girl splits the check on date, who isn't your GF, that's always been code for "you're not getting laid tonight".

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This seems so ridiculous and obvious you're wrong in everything, except having personall feelings, it went beyond laughable to irritating. In every scenario I can think of you're wrong. If you don't like paying over an amount that's fine. It's that I can't comprehend a person with no obligation to do so, inviting to take a girl as a date to something they'd be irritated to pay for

Really, you like to eat at price that is beyond the amount you're fine to spend on another but also like the girl so much youd rather taker her as a date than go with a friend but dont like either enough that it's not irritating to pay? I don't even know the word for someone who'd chose that as their best choice multiple times, not take the blame and need to discuss a solution for it

The best and least ambiguous word for it is niggard.

Very likely a generational thing, I think.

For another data point, most of the posters on r/okcupid are early-mid-late 20s, and the seeming consensus there is that 50/50 is standard in most cases (and I'd guess that the gender balance there is a lot closer to 50/50 than 2+2).

Although it's probably fair to say that many people aren't necessarily _advocating_ any standard. I think a lot of folks (at least the seemingly well-adjusted ones) are simply "go with the flow, try to not make a big deal about it either way."

This is sensible, and changes a lot of what i didnt understand what you're thinking

I think of it as taking the girl and taking implies paying

I do think a girl offering to pay is attractive but a plus not a deal breaker. I only take it as a compliment and id offer or insist to pay, depending if it's drink or dinner, early on date or a relationship

Personally, I feel if it's irritating to pay for her she's not the one. so wouldn't have a discussion about it early with the next one when she might completely change that for you and you want to buy her a lot more than dinner. Good luck

Im not trolling at all but when reading these responses I get the distinct impression that people are portraying themselves in an inapporopriate light and exaggerating things to try to make themselves appear a certain way to others here. Not going to mention any names.

wat

I imagine that the most common reactions to this sentiment are (i) this guy is a total broke ass; or (ii) this guy really, really likes to sweat the small stuff.

28 (def immature for 28 but atleast I admit that)
American lol
I went to college
Don't play poker for a living, play for fun and take occasional trip to play some mtts. Was backed and grinding my way up the buy ins when Black Friday hit. Kinda lame bc I put poker ahead of college/ networking for a career.
Meh I make over 60k doing a job I shouldn't be making 60k. I gamble a lot more then I should which is a life leak. Also terrible financially.

Look wise- depends on chick. I'd say I'm a 6/7 out of 10. Was a model at hollister in college. I'm kinda feminine which sucks (not terrible but not ideal masculinity) and just got back into lifting to try to help my appearance. Def let myself go once i started working full time. I think I would pull a lot of tail if I wasn't socially awkward and conversed with chicks better. Think I have slight social anxiety

I never really said anything. I just was internally annoyed. Btw thanks for all the feedback in this thread. I def think I'm wrong in my ways of thinking and like to hear what others think. Next time I get a gf I will prolly change and go to cheaper places so this doesn't bother me and or find a chick that actually works full time And isn't in college.

Just for lols btw. Chick broke up with me bc I went to Atlantic City and didn't bring her. I just wanted to focus on Mtts and not have to buy her **** so she started dating a lawyer and wrote me a break up letter.

My friends weren't too fond of her bc we discussed living together and she wanted me to cover rent if we moved in together and she would cover cheap expenses.

Also she floated the idea of going to Jamaica for vacation Bc she was from there. She wanted me to pay for an all inclusive resort and not chop at all. I found that crazy.

Regarding that, she told me she would buy dinner before they were married.... this was before she was a pharmacist.

Honestly, just feel most women are raised poorly and take whatever is given to them.

Also regarding this, why does the guy always have to offer dinner. When I'm the one always offering let's go to dinner.... basically means I have to pay all the time.

This is the correct answer.

Don't invite them out if you don't want to pay for them.

Find ways to have fun that don't involve spending large amounts of money.

Also - yes there are a lot of girls who go for modern values and 50-50 makes sense to them, but girls with modern values are not what you should be aiming for anyway.

Well be good looking enough or cool enough that girls will initiate with you but for most men you're going to have to do the work if you want their attention and get laid. There are some aggressive chicks out there but they aren't as common as passive ones. The Jamaican chick sounds like she found or was trying to find a sugar daddy. Not all chicks are like this but some are, you can normally find out quickly if they're.

What else do you have to offer?

Things I personally would always prefer over going out to dinner:
cooking dinner together, picnicking, movies, concerts, nature, nice view, working-out together, dancing (huge attractiveness point if a guy can dance well), good sex (emphasis is on "good").

Why not?

Grunch:

A woman who will share expenses offers to pay sometime early in the relationship, just like this. You accept, then you will probably alternate paying from then on. If you don't let her pay, of course she won't pay!

This is the epitome of lolwomen. Mostly because in 99% of situations it's just not true.

Well unless you're a male model.

?

Completely don't get your post.

Do you imply that I am lying? Are you so irritated by my preference of good sex to a going out to dinner? (may be we have different definition of good sex ) Or what exactly in my post do you see as not true?

I'm saying that, if you're just starting out dating, your post is wrong.

Cooking at someone's house, good sex, working out together, movies (lol) are all terrible date ideas for a multitude of reasons. Once you're actually "dating", sure. But before that, not so much.

And, as everyone knows, if you look like Brad Pitt you could punch your date in the face and strangle her dog and it wouldn't matter. No hyperbole.

Completely agree with this.

But OP mentioned in post nr 5 that his problem with dinners starts not at the beginning stages of dating a girl but later when they are more serious and do have some kind of relationship. My suggestions are definitely not for the first date.

My bad. Should have been more clear.

In the early dates I don't even know how 50/50 would come up. Just pay it without thinking about it. If you are asking her then IMO you have already failed and put her in a weird spot.
If she really does put up that much of a fuss just to not be in any kind of situation with reciprocity then what is even the point of the date.

I would also add this is partially why I think dinner dates are ****. The check part is never good and even worse it is at the end of the date so that is what she will remember the most.
Dinner and movies are for amateurs.