I need some outside perspective on a situation, and I will try to make this as brief as possible.

So to make a long story short my current living arrangement is I live in a house owned by my dad who doesn't currently occupy it due to being in a long term care facility. I handle his personal affairs and take care of the house and pay my share of the bills. I picked up two roommates who are buddies of mine to help with expenses. They are each paying around 300 a month inclusive, which is an absolute steal considering they were paying something like $450 + bills to live about 2 miles closer to campus.

I have a car, one roommate has a car, and one roommate doesn't. I drive the roommate who doesn't around all the time when I am home, but sometimes I am at work and he needs rides to his job, where all three of us work part time occasionally. My dad can't drive at all due to his current medical condition, so his car sits in the driveway. Should the roommate without a car be entitled to drive my dads car as needed?

He is still in school even though he is 26 so he is insured under his mom as an occasional driver. I have my own policy for my car, and my dad has a still valid policy for his car. For people who understand the intricacies of car insurance, what happens if he gets into an at-fault accident?


CLIFF NOTES:

Live with two other guys, one who has a car and one who doesn't. Spare car sitting in the driveway which belongs to someone I am related to who can't currently drive. Whats my obligation in terms of allowing the carless roommate use of it?

Id say none at all. I wouldnt have a problem with a freind/roomate driving the car if 1) Dad is cool with it (a much obviouslly) and 2) he's a good driver/ responsible enough to be trusted with it.


Do you not want him to driver the car cuz that's what this seems to be aiming at.

**** no.

You have no obligation to let people use the car, and if somebody is suggesting you do- they're an idiot.

It might be a nice thing to do- imo it's your Dad's call.

What would his obligations be then in that case in terms of gas/depreciation while using the vehicle?

There's more to the story, I just laid out the bare facts in the first post.

why are you asking internet nerds instead of maybe the insurance company? Why is your dads car still covered if he cant drive any more? Rent him the car imo

He's not asking us about the insurance questions really. I assume it's more about what he thinks the expectations of him as a roommate might be.

The issue we're having is that he's not a very responsible person (to clarify, he's a good driver with no accidents or tickets I am aware of, but he doesn't take responsibility for his situations very often and tends to spin things to where he feels wronged), and he thinks that either me or his girlfriend driving him somewhere, or him taking my dads car is the three ways he is supposed to get somewhere. Prior to me getting my own car, I used to take the bus is where we apparently differ.

He has given me gas money probably four times in the last year, and I can't recall him ever putting gas in it while using it and then telling me about it except for $10 twice, and once when I let him borrow it to drive home and back (2.5 hours each way) and still got it back with slightly less gas than when he took it.

I borrow my dads car once in a while because it is a new van with stow and go seating and is good for moving stuff and has way better highway mileage than my Durango if we're going on a road trip. I fill it up when its low, and don't get reimbursed by the roommate for it, even though he borrows it often to run errands or go to work when I am unable to drive him. I also drive him to appointments and on errands in my car, and don't get money for that either.

I realize that he gets no support from his parents, but he also spends a lot of money on drinking and eating out, and the dog he got about a month ago. I told him a few weeks back that he could borrow my dads car if he was in a bind, because I was at the casino and he had to work and his girlfriend wasn't around. Our third roommate moved in 2 days ago, and also works at the same place as us, and tonight while I was at the gym he didn't ask our other roommate at all for a ride to work, and instead just helped himself to my dads car. I texted a co-worker of ours and asked him to pass on the message to not use the car if he isn't even going to ask the other roommate for a ride first, because he obviously isn't in a bind then. He called me and we had an argument on the phone in which he got super mad and accused me of being 'bitter' and he used the excuse that he had $20 with him to get gas on the way home and that he didn't want to 'put our new roommate out by asking for a ride already (carless roommate started an hour before roommate with car who both work at same job about 8 min each direction driving).'

My dad's insurance was renewed for a year right around when he had his 'accident', and I recently bought a new car and offered the old one to my roommate for like $500 but he can't afford having his own insurance policy.

I'm at the point where I feel its beyond doing favours for him, and I am being taken advantage of and at no benefit to me. Just wondering if I was being a dick or not in the most unbiased way of explaining possible. I like the guy and I like living with him, but I think he just takes things for granted way too often.

You're not being a dick. If you feel the need to, let him take your car, and you drive the old man's. I would flat out tell both roomates that there's no way in the world either of you are driving my Dad's car for any reason so don't even ask.

Also, if Dad is in there permanently, you should be looking to get rid of the car anyways.

You weren't obligated to let him use the car before you gave more details, and now you definitely aren't. If he was cool about it and actually tried to pitch in, then I'd say you could consider letting him use it on a case-by-case basis. But it sounds like he thinks it's his God-given right to take the car whenever he wants and do nothing in return, so you shouldn't even feel bad about telling him he can't use it.

No way and hell Id let him use my dad's care with that description. Relationships are all about give and take, he is obviously not holding up his end of the deal in that respect. Its like when I go out to a bar with freinds we each take turns buying pitchers of beer. Ill hook a freind up if he's strapped for cash and I dont mind doing it for quite a while but they are getting cut off if they are just there mooching over and over like this guy is. Make sure you let him know why too but of course in a civil manner.

Yeah this is how I am feeling I just wanted to see if it was substantiated.

As for p chippa, we still have it because its a 2007 and has like 39000 km and its resale value is nowhere near what my dad paid for it Feb 2008 3 months before his accident and about 11 000 km ago. His case workers are looking into getting a grant to get modifications done to it for a wheelchair lift too to be able to transport him around if he ever gets to a point where he can leave the hospital.

Can someone add a Dodge Caravan for accuracy's sake?

Here you go.

That's even more of a reason that no one should be driving it imo.

You don't have any obligation. If for some reason you chose to actually have friends who were real friends and you trusted them, then I might let them drive my car in those situations, and then I would drive my father's car.

I know it is rare for young men to have real friends any more, and just have people who sponge and use each other...

Again though, I don't feel like you are under any obligation. It just depends if he is a real friend or not... If it were one of my real friends, I would feel an obligation to try and help him out of a tough jam. Of course this is predicated that he is actually trying to do something about it himself.

IE if he is putting away a good chunk of every pay check to save up to get a car, I certainly want to help him more than if he is just half-arsing his way through life with no real plan or intent to actually ever get a vehicle on his own. If that is the case, I would not feel an obligation to help him, but I also would probably not be friends with him and he would probably not be living in my house.

You are already doing him a big favor driving him around when you are not working. I suspect he contributes no gas or upkeep money for you to use towards your car as it stands now. If he does not show any signs of wanting to help himself, no need for you to go out of your way to help him.

Just out of curiosity, if you are comfortable sharing, what happened to you dad?

If your dad wouldn't want him using his car let him use your car and you can use your dad's car.

I was going to post the lathe pic, but I'm happy to see someone else already did.

unless he could afford paying for an insurance policy on the car, he shouldn't be driving it. this is regardless of how good a driver or responsible a person he is. way too many unnecessary risks imo.

you also should not feel obliged to let him drive it for reasons already mentioned ITT. if your dad would allow him to drive it, then after he gets insurance you can sort out an arrangement where he rents from you for x amount or based on milage and he pays his own gas.

and regardless of your relationship with that guy, you should follow through on the above. if he was just an acquantance that rents a room at your place, then putting these rules in place is not so hard. and if he's a close friend, while implementing the rules might seem tricky, it's much easier to do so now than when the problem escalates. you can always use the insurance excuse to make your point. in any at fault accident, your dad will be at least partly liable to pay for the damages of the other party. and what's worse is if anyone gets injured and your dad gets sued in the process, his insurance will not cover the lawsuit.

He contracted a blood infection that attacked his spinal cord and disintegrated some vertebrae. At one point he was looking at having a 10 percent chance of living, and he eventually was upgraded to being a quad on a respirator for the rest of his life, and he has currently progressed since then to developing bicep and tricep strength and being able to stand up and slowly ride a bike for a few minutes a day with the assistance of machines. He still can't eat on his own and can't drink anything beyond water or black coffee and still requires a small amount of oxygen at night while he sleeps, but he has made massive progress far beyond what was ever expected of him. Theres a meeting on may 6th in which we discuss what the long term expectations are with his doctor, but in the meantime i am going to contact his insurance company (i have full POA) and if an at fault accident in his vehicle comes off his insurance, the no car roommate will be permanently cut off.

To answer some recent questions, the no car roommate is a super good friend who i don't mind helping out to an extent, but when i get to the point where i feel my generosity is being abused with no benefit to me, i have to do something. he has no desire to buy a car until he is done school and working full time. i tried to help him by selling my car for way under book value, but he can't afford the cash purchase or the solo insurance payment every month.

No offense to you, but your friend sounds like a loser. At 26 you should have your life together enough to know how to get from point A to point B without relying on other people 90% of the time. I can't even imagine why you would feel obligated to loan him a vehicle. Just like you shouldn't feel obligated to chauffeur him around either.

No. If you owned two cars the answer would still probably be no but at least there would be some potential to discuss it. The spare car is not even yours so of course you can't let someone else use it.

Tell him to get a bike.