Found out GF is cheating on me...
View Poll Results: How should I handle the breakup?
a
79
33.91%
b
49
21.03%
c
84
36.05%
other
21
9.01%
09-08-2010
, 12:28 PM
09-08-2010
, 12:29 PM
09-08-2010
, 12:33 PM
09-08-2010
, 12:33 PM
09-08-2010
, 12:33 PM
09-08-2010
, 12:38 PM
09-08-2010
, 12:43 PM
09-08-2010
, 12:46 PM
09-08-2010
, 12:48 PM
![[x] cookiesniper's Avatar](https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/customavatars/avatar205036_2.gif){kind=avatar}
Quote:
What a pleasant thing to have support, nice one 2+2. Well done OP on composing yourself before deciding on what action to take, you will be glad that you did. This is very long, but it's a good post, so read it. I took your case seriously, forgive me, and I will understand any tl:dr flamers. I had a circumstance of similar proportions that I learned a lot from years ago.
1) Go for a walk down to the pub by yourself, grab a brew and have a think on how you would like to look back at this, and where you would like to be in a year.
I recommend the vision of having her feeling foolish, ashamed and guilty, knowing she missed out on the only man who she now understands could have truly made her happy. Trying to get back in touch with you. You have since walked a path of manhood, strength and grace and are living your life to the full with a beautiful new woman/ women. And many new, fascinating and exciting events happening regularly.
2) If you are afraid of this guy, just think about the fact that he has been ****ing your girlfriend repeatedly for a substantial period of time. While she comes home like everything is ok and kisses you. That should hopefully bolden you up a bit. If you are younger and smaller than him, intimidation, fear and domination can be an issue. Deep controlled rage solves all that.
3) Retain, at all costs, your honor, grace and integrity. You can use this as foundational life experience. Thinking back to it as a moment when you shined. Don't throw a temper tantrum and post pictures of her on the internet/ mess with her computer like a hurt 15yo schoolboy. Be a man. You want to be able to look back on the coming weeks with sincere pride in yourself.
4) Don't fear looking crazy. Just act with honor and sound controlled reason.
Another man is ****ing your long term girlfriend that you are living with. The arguments "Don't mess with other peoples business" don't stand.
5) Calmly, gracefully explain to the girl that you really cared for her. Or however you used to feel. And that she hurt you deeply. Be absolutely sincere, heartfelt and a gentleman. This will hurt her the most. "Show kindness to your enemies and it will be like heaving burning coals on their head"- God. Then kindly ask her to leave. Both the apartment and your life. Is the lease yours? I hope so. Don't become a vagrant when you have done nothing wrong. She should be the one out on the street, but don't make a public scene.
6) I don't care if if he's Al Capone or ex-SAS, you need to confront him.
Prepare and say what YOU want, smile slightly, sweetly and sociopathically and act as if you'll slit his throat with the switchblade you have concealed in your pocket if he gets wise. You don't need to have the blade, but you need the confidence and an exterior lack of fear. You will feel like nothing can stop you after. Don't give me any "I don't even care, I cant be bothered" **** either. That is fear. Do it. Your self integrity is on the line.
He doesn't know you. He doesn't know if you run the H trade on the east coast after taking the previous mans life, and have every two bit thug in this town in your pocket so he'll never be safe at night.
7) Visit his wife, preferably at her work or in a public place if possible. Introduce yourself politely and explain, gently, that her husband is having an affair. Give her your proof in hard copy, apologize to be polite, and leave. She deserves to know. You could look the husband in the eyes and tell him that you have done this in 6) above as a point of conversation. Smile and keep a very level voice. Be prepared for retaliation.
8) Be brave, graceful and full of integrity. Do yourself proud. Make sure you calmly say everything that you want to to both of them. Prepare it. This is very important, get it all off your chest so that you have no regrets or baggage in the years to come. That was the only mistake that I made.
If you opt to brake his legs with a baseball bat, no one will hold it against you. But you might do time. It could be worth it. I'm not joking.
Be Strong,
Good Luck.
DnW.
1) Go for a walk down to the pub by yourself, grab a brew and have a think on how you would like to look back at this, and where you would like to be in a year.
I recommend the vision of having her feeling foolish, ashamed and guilty, knowing she missed out on the only man who she now understands could have truly made her happy. Trying to get back in touch with you. You have since walked a path of manhood, strength and grace and are living your life to the full with a beautiful new woman/ women. And many new, fascinating and exciting events happening regularly.
2) If you are afraid of this guy, just think about the fact that he has been ****ing your girlfriend repeatedly for a substantial period of time. While she comes home like everything is ok and kisses you. That should hopefully bolden you up a bit. If you are younger and smaller than him, intimidation, fear and domination can be an issue. Deep controlled rage solves all that.
3) Retain, at all costs, your honor, grace and integrity. You can use this as foundational life experience. Thinking back to it as a moment when you shined. Don't throw a temper tantrum and post pictures of her on the internet/ mess with her computer like a hurt 15yo schoolboy. Be a man. You want to be able to look back on the coming weeks with sincere pride in yourself.
4) Don't fear looking crazy. Just act with honor and sound controlled reason.
Another man is ****ing your long term girlfriend that you are living with. The arguments "Don't mess with other peoples business" don't stand.
5) Calmly, gracefully explain to the girl that you really cared for her. Or however you used to feel. And that she hurt you deeply. Be absolutely sincere, heartfelt and a gentleman. This will hurt her the most. "Show kindness to your enemies and it will be like heaving burning coals on their head"- God. Then kindly ask her to leave. Both the apartment and your life. Is the lease yours? I hope so. Don't become a vagrant when you have done nothing wrong. She should be the one out on the street, but don't make a public scene.
6) I don't care if if he's Al Capone or ex-SAS, you need to confront him.
Prepare and say what YOU want, smile slightly, sweetly and sociopathically and act as if you'll slit his throat with the switchblade you have concealed in your pocket if he gets wise. You don't need to have the blade, but you need the confidence and an exterior lack of fear. You will feel like nothing can stop you after. Don't give me any "I don't even care, I cant be bothered" **** either. That is fear. Do it. Your self integrity is on the line.
He doesn't know you. He doesn't know if you run the H trade on the east coast after taking the previous mans life, and have every two bit thug in this town in your pocket so he'll never be safe at night.
7) Visit his wife, preferably at her work or in a public place if possible. Introduce yourself politely and explain, gently, that her husband is having an affair. Give her your proof in hard copy, apologize to be polite, and leave. She deserves to know. You could look the husband in the eyes and tell him that you have done this in 6) above as a point of conversation. Smile and keep a very level voice. Be prepared for retaliation.
8) Be brave, graceful and full of integrity. Do yourself proud. Make sure you calmly say everything that you want to to both of them. Prepare it. This is very important, get it all off your chest so that you have no regrets or baggage in the years to come. That was the only mistake that I made.
If you opt to brake his legs with a baseball bat, no one will hold it against you. But you might do time. It could be worth it. I'm not joking.
Be Strong,
Good Luck.
DnW.
1) She and the loser she's cheating on you with deserve NO MERCY
2) Lock her out
3) Let all her family, friends know
4) Tell the guy's wife
5) Have some good friends on standby to back you up in case he comes after you if your worried you can't take him. Rage is a 1 up in a fight, i suspect you'll be ok. SWEEP THE LEG
09-08-2010
, 12:49 PM
09-08-2010
, 12:51 PM
09-08-2010
, 12:51 PM
09-08-2010
, 12:52 PM
09-08-2010
, 12:53 PM
