The reason people constantly want pics is because they lead pathetic lives and this voyeurism is the closest they get to having anything. 99.9% of the time pics are not relevant.

I like option B

Sounds like a great theory, I just worry that she won't go through with it and the whole process will take her longer than it would him.

Need....pics.....need...pics

All of this.

I'd kick her out btw. Not sure why you should have to move unless you want to.

Every girl would cheat if presented with the right circumstances. If you don't believe this you are deluded.

fyp

Yeah I agree w this. Assuming ur name is on the lease, put all her stuff in the hallway, lock the door, gg.

tell the guy's wife, **** him

i would go with option B and be as stone cold about it as possible, no communication whatsoever.

maybe fire off a a very short basic email to her parents of 'your daughter has been cheating on me, i have had our lease terminated, she needs to have all of her stuff out of the place by X so i assume she will be moving in with you. unless of course the married guy with kids she's been seeing takes her in. take it easy'

but i would prepare everything i could possibly need for option C. this is because if she goes crazy on me or tries to punk me i would have something to threaten her big time with so she will be forced to chill out and move on with the fact i am never going to have anything to do with her ever again in my life.

the telling the guy's wife is a weird spot and i am not 100% what i would do. i think it comes down to if i know the guy and think he is a douchebag or if he was being smug around me knowing he was balling my woman. if that were the case then i would likely write a letter to the wife along the lines of 'my girlfriend has been having an affair with your husband. i have cut her out of my life, and don't wish to address this further as i am moving on, but i thought you might like to know. if you must have evidence send me an email i can provide you with everything, but outside of that i want nothing more to do with this entire situation'. if i don't dislike the guy id just be like **** it do nothing

what made you assume the cheating by the way? legitimate sniff-out? or just paranoia induced snooping/trust breaking?

Don't bring this down on the wife. Big chance she doesn't want to know.

I'd definitely tell the wife. I'd want to know if my wife was cheating on me.

post pics for real

i'd try to get in as much sexual deviant behavior with her as possible , all those sorid fantasy things you always wanted to try but wouldn't with a nice gal. then after you've exhausted your fantasy list, follow through with your A) option.

What a pleasant thing to have support, nice one 2+2. Well done OP on composing yourself before deciding on what action to take, you will be glad that you did. This is very long, but it's a good post, so read it. I took your case seriously, forgive me, and I will understand any tl:dr flamers. I had a circumstance of similar proportions that I learned a lot from years ago.

1) Go for a walk down to the pub by yourself, grab a brew and have a think on how you would like to look back at this, and where you would like to be in a year.
I recommend the vision of having her feeling foolish, ashamed and guilty, knowing she missed out on the only man who she now understands could have truly made her happy. Trying to get back in touch with you. You have since walked a path of manhood, strength and grace and are living your life to the full with a beautiful new woman/ women. And many new, fascinating and exciting events happening regularly.

2) If you are afraid of this guy, just think about the fact that he has been ****ing your girlfriend repeatedly for a substantial period of time. While she comes home like everything is ok and kisses you. That should hopefully bolden you up a bit. If you are younger and smaller than him, intimidation, fear and domination can be an issue. Deep controlled rage solves all that.

3) Retain, at all costs, your honor, grace and integrity. You can use this as foundational life experience. Thinking back to it as a moment when you shined. Don't throw a temper tantrum and post pictures of her on the internet/ mess with her computer like a hurt 15yo schoolboy. Be a man. You want to be able to look back on the coming weeks with sincere pride in yourself.

4) Don't fear looking crazy. Just act with honor and sound controlled reason.
Another man is ****ing your long term girlfriend that you are living with. The arguments "Don't mess with other peoples business" don't stand.

5) Calmly, gracefully explain to the girl that you really cared for her. Or however you used to feel. And that she hurt you deeply. Be absolutely sincere, heartfelt and a gentleman. This will hurt her the most. "Show kindness to your enemies and it will be like heaving burning coals on their head"- God. Then kindly ask her to leave. Both the apartment and your life. Is the lease yours? I hope so. Don't become a vagrant when you have done nothing wrong. She should be the one out on the street, but don't make a public scene.

6) I don't care if if he's Al Capone or ex-SAS, you need to confront him.
Prepare and say what YOU want, smile slightly, sweetly and sociopathically and act as if you'll slit his throat with the switchblade you have concealed in your pocket if he gets wise. You don't need to have the blade, but you need the confidence and an exterior lack of fear. You will feel like nothing can stop you after. Don't give me any "I don't even care, I cant be bothered" **** either. That is fear. Do it. Your self integrity is on the line.
He doesn't know you. He doesn't know if you run the H trade on the east coast after taking the previous mans life, and have every two bit thug in this town in your pocket so he'll never be safe at night.

7) Visit his wife, preferably at her work or in a public place if possible. Introduce yourself politely and explain, gently, that her husband is having an affair. Give her your proof in hard copy, apologize to be polite, and leave. She deserves to know. You could look the husband in the eyes and tell him that you have done this in 6) above as a point of conversation. Smile and keep a very level voice. Be prepared for retaliation.

8) Be brave, graceful and full of integrity. Do yourself proud. Make sure you calmly say everything that you want to to both of them. Prepare it. This is very important, get it all off your chest so that you have no regrets or baggage in the years to come. That was the only mistake that I made.

If you opt to brake his legs with a baseball bat, no one will hold it against you. But you might do time. It could be worth it. I'm not joking.


Be Strong,
Good Luck.
DnW.

Don't tell the wife. It might sound funny to take the "**** him" line, but think about it. It's going to mess with their family. If they end up separating over this you're ****ing over the kids. That's not right and they don't deserve that.

I voted a) + inform the wife. She deserves to know the truth also. He took a vow to her and broke it. His fault, not yours, and ultimately she's an even more wounded victim than you.

If you trainwreck them you'll damage your image with common friends in your social circle, which would be detrimental to your chances to cultivate relationships with any of her friends that may be worth hooking up with.

Sorry you're going through this guy. The sooner you can move on, the better. Never forget, she's just Jerry Springer Show trash, unworthy of your time and energy. If feelings of love interfere with this view of her, remember that love is nothing more than a neurochemical conjob.

LOL at confronting the dude. GTFO and grow up people.

Let her know you know. End it. Move on with life. The rest of this drama does nothing productive for OP.

If someone was the most important/closest person in your life for 3 years don't you think this would be a totally crappy way to end it? It's not like one day she was awesome and the next she's the anti-christ. Ending on good terms is infinitely better than any other outcome for OP imo.

FYP

Also I don't get all this vindictive stuff. Sometimes people cheat, it's not like they both went out of their way/had the intent to hurt you. It happened, you'll probs be better off for it, and how well you deal with it from now or will determine how better off you are from it

"youre a whore, you betrayed my trust, gtfo I want you out of my sight" followed by confronting the dudes wife with the information

Really? it's infinitely better to end it on good terms with a person that after sharing 3 years of their life with you does this?

I wouldn't try to be considerate to a person THIS selfish iyam. Forget trying to end it on good terms, how about ending things on HIS terms? again, that doesn't necessarily mean going psycho.

Do not confront the wife. Confront the dude. Show your evidence. Blackmail FTW.

But my real vote is actually for taking the high road, ending the relationship, and moving out asap.

not my girlfriend.

Put all her stuff outside, change locks, let her know you know and that it's over, don't go all psycho but definitely let friends know why you broke up with her when they inevitably ask seems a lot better than any other solutions. Telling wife is optional, personally I'd do it because I'd want to hear it if I were wife, not for any psycho vindictive reasons.

If they're on the same lease, that's illegal.

Just move on. You can screw with her for a week or so, like respond with things she says to you with things the guy said to her in emails and stuff, but other than that, just move on.