Hannukah.

It's about some stupid lamps burning longer than expected. We know it's not Christmas and don't need your pity.

Valentine definitely most ****ty one around, it's incomprehensibly lame.

it's actually about money, food, and money, just like all jewish holidays

Interesting point about valuntimes.
Went on a first date with a nice girl 3 weeks ago. She made minimal eye contact, date ends, the end. Hit her up a few days later and straight up says you're a nice guy but no thanks.

Yesterday texts me out of nowhere and asks me to hang out this weekend. "you wanna just come over and we can watch TV or whatever?"

Horay for settling! That's what this holiday is really about.

Howard,

I'd say that is a fairly accurate estimate with regards to the black and white pages. Colour printing is quite a bit lower, I only print colour when absolutely necessary. Which means circa 5 pages a day.

It's incredible how much paper we use in this profession. It leads to one of the biggest office irritations daily: jammed printers. Those things are incredibly good at working on your nerves.

Why are you guys still using so much paper? Do you still wear those powdered wigs, too? What's the monthly powder estimate?

I estimate that in the past ten years I've printed 66 pages.

Except for the serious holidays where you can't touch money or food.

Once a week you can't touch money.

I print a ton. You have to bring in multiple copies of plans to get permits. Even the few jurisdictions around here that require an electronic copy, also require a paper copy.

I didnt come up with it!

Feel free to offer suggestions!

lol, nice. You going to?

I'm shaking my head so much people are starting to wonder if I have Parkinsons.

Obviously!

RIP Bugs Bunny

First time I've ever complained to a company about their product and it was to Jello.

Pretty sure they dumped Cosby a while ago.

*** Less horrible February LC thread title ***

told you. I am absolutely on fire this week. It gets girls all sorts of horny.

Super bowl watchers,

Anyone interested in $25 super bowl squares? Being organized in beeyoft thread, about 30 left.

If you were going to hold an informal amateur eating contest, what if any handicapping strategies would you allow to maximize participation?

Let's say it's an eating contest for hard boiled eggs.

Is the best approach to handicap by body weight?

If the scoring was based on eggs eaten per lb of bodyweight, a 100lb waif would only be required to eat half the eggs of a 200lb person to achieve the same score.

Another approach would be to pick a baseline weight, then generate the value of an egg by the difference of the participant's weight from the baseline. So you pick say 150lb as the baseline weight. People who weigh 150 get 1 point per egg. People who weigh 100lb get 1.5 points (150/100), 300lbers get 0.5 points (150/300) per egg.

Is there a better way?


And yes, I know the people who win the professional eating contests are all tiny 90lb asian women.

you don't handicap an egg.

both of those seem like less than ideal criteria, but i really don't have a better suggestion. I feel like option 2 is closer, but definitely too heavy of a penalty for the 300lber to eat twice as much.

weight is a pretty bad handicap, as it doesnt really have anything to do with the amount you can eat at once.

That might incentivize lighter weight people to enter, but it just decentralizes heavy people from entering. Tho most people believe it matters, so it probably wont keep fat people from entering, so if your goal is actually participation rather than fairness then go for it, in which case it doesnt really matter how you handicap, just pick something and let everyone know there is a handicap.

You're over complicating an egg eating contest.

Here are eggs
If you eat the most within the contest duration you win
No puking until the contest is over
/rules

Fat people gonna enter anyway as long as the eggs are free

I sliced my precious little finger open on the lip of a sealed Jello cup. Tweeted a pic and they ask me to call their senior customer rep to help them out.

30 minutes on hold later they offer me $2 off my next Jello 6-pack. As a lawyer my time is clearly very valuable.

The fatties will participate no matter what because it's a socially acceptable excuse to eat infinite food, legitimized by a third party. Very easy for the fatties to rationalize participation.

What I'm trying to do is figure out a way to keep the skinnies interested in participating when they know they'll be up against fatties. No 105lb woman is going to think she has a chance in hell against a 300lb fattie if there is no handicap. I want her to have a chance, or at least feel like she has one.

If you guys have suggestions on a better way to handicap the eggs, let's hear them.