Depression Thread

[JP]

Yeah this is why I wanted to get confirmation from one of the mods here if I can talk about depression and suicide etc...I have a back story which will probably bore you guys which would get into the amount of exercise I do and also practice mediation described by Jon kabat-zinn (the full catastrophe) and that Im also on meds (100mg sertraline) but thats the problem.

Im 28
Male
I work full time 9-5, Mon to Fri in an office (draughtsman)
I also work part time in a bar at weekends. Like every other weekend for extra cash
Im broke
I have a mortgage thats in negative equity
I drive
I have a GF
I pay bills
I dont want anything
I exercise 3-4 times a week for 1hr - 2hr sessions
I go swimming
I attempted suicide once

[StimAbuser]

Cheer up buttercup.

[JP]

whats a buttercup? and how do I cheer it up?

[ScreaminAsian]

I thought this was the thread that was finally gonna get me out of the house today.

thanks for nothing

[El Kabong]

stoya saved this thread

[New Kid]

Originally Posted by JokerPodcast

whats a buttercup? and how do I cheer it up?

Medicine and exercise.

[gregorio]

Originally Posted by JokerPodcast

I have a back story which will probably bore you guys which would get into the amount of exercise I do and also practice mediation described by Jon kabat-zinn (the full catastrophe) and that Im also on meds (100mg sertraline) but thats the problem.

When did you first start being depressed? How do you apply mindfulness meditation to help you manage your depression? Has that been successful?

How long have you been on your meds and have they helped at all? Have you tried therapy with a CBT therapist?

Does your gf know what you're going thorugh? How supportive is she?

You say "that's the problem." I am not sure what "that's" refers to.

[killa]

Ok I cleaned this up, thread can stay. Go for it OP

[Sector]

I don't know much about medications but have you tried Lexapro?

I started taking it strictly for anxiety about 6 mo ago. I needed help dealing with my nutjob pregnant wife. Even though I'm on it for anxiety and not depression, my over all mood has been the tits ever since. gl

[Doorbread]

I take lexapro makes me reallty sleepy

been sleeping for the last 4 days with brief (2-3) hours of consiciousness(sp?) but i am also not dead

[lozen]

I am surprised this wasnt moved to Health but its good to have this anywhere.

Depression effectes everyone and many are scared to talk about it. Glad to hear your working out as fitness can help. Have you considered talking to a therapist? Does your girlfriend know about it.

After your attempted suicide what steps did you take or were forced to take to deal with it?

[JP]

Originally Posted by gregorio

When did you first start being depressed? How do you apply mindfulness meditation to help you manage your depression? Has that been successful?

How long have you been on your meds and have they helped at all? Have you tried therapy with a CBT therapist?

Does your gf know what you're going thorugh? How supportive is she?

You say "that's the problem." I am not sure what "that's" refers to.

Ever since I went to high school. The realisation that hard work was required to make it in life, having fun didnt even get a look in, because what is fun? Next came college both during the day and at night as well as working part time in McDs on weekends, fun? what is that again.

My GF doesnt understand, she has her own problems (who also has depression), when I say "I feel depressed" her immediate reaction is "Is it because of me?" I then spend the next 30mins trying to reassure her that Im not depressed because of her in any way or anything that she has done, and what we end up doing is talking about her (because she is so emotional) and her problems.

As for me, Im the opposite Im not emotional enough, I feel indifferent like all the time, I can settle for less, I can make do, for example I could live in a box with a mat on the floor to sleep on and one sink to wash dishes and myself, and a cooker and maybe a TV, thats it kid, thats all I need anything else is not an necessity, its a luxury and I dont want those luxuries because they come with extra burdens i.e how do you pay and maintain them, also those luxuries dont actually bring anything of value to me in my life. Whats the opposite of materialsim? I stopped chasing after things a long time ago, fancy car? **** that ****, hoilday? no thanks sir, big house? why the **** would I want that?

So what can life offer a person who doesnt want anything, when said person doesnt value anything? Nothing has any value to me, why is life better than no life?

I have low expectations or should I say I have no expectations, take the other day for example I was walking to shop on my break this car pulled over this irish gypsy called me over, he said "hey do you want to buy a camera?" right away I knew it was stolen, LDO dodgy looking guy, selling a camera, just at random, I said Im not interested, "Help me out man, I need the cash for petrol, I need to make the airport", "Thats different, if you need money to get to airport, I can give you that" so I give him £40" (BECAUSE I DONT WANT ANYTHING) he looked at me puzzled, and drove off. Im the nicest guy you ever meet, I will give you the shirt off my back and I wont ask you for a ****ing thing.

You see once you stop caring about money and stuff, you just stop caring about everything else. At the end of the day life is not worth the hassle with little to no reward for your efforts, its the greatest goof of all time, work hard so you can live another day, (just to work hard next day) *clap clap clap* my ****ing hero!

Yes I have done CBT, its just empty positive thinking IME. Its about thinking errors cant be bothered to go into detail.

[JP]

Originally Posted by lozen

After your attempted suicide what steps did you take or were forced to take to deal with it?

Nothing, its called the Blunted affect. Things happen, you get over it, you deal with situations, you find out what needs to be done and you do it. Need X? Do Y!, and keep going like a list, check them off as you go!

Work hard thats the motto right?

[JP]

I feel tricked by society, if I had knew what I know now back then I wouldnt have left home. Because Im not missing out on anything buddy!

I feel depressed due to the expectations of others on me, a certain social norm, rules, laws, that I have to adhere to and obey, hang on a ****ing minute, I never agreed to any - ANY of those rules, oh I see beause I live in the counrty its immediately assumed I will be a good boy and do what Im told.

[z28dreams]

Nothing looks too abnormal up there except for being broke. Why are you broke?

Do you tend to blow money on stupid thing?

Also, have you been to a doc to be evaluated? I'd highly recommend you have your thyroid (TSH, T3, T4, etc), testosterone/estrogen, and blood glucose levels checked.