Originally Posted by MichaelScarn
I know that all the advice telling me to get out of the relationship is probably right. All the personality flaws that have been mentioned and linked, match with her, I know that it's not a minor case of BPD what she has either, but a full-blown case of it, and I know with pretty much anyone else, I would have broken it off even before the plate incident. But it's different here, and I really don't think I can break up with her... at least not right now. It's got nothing to do with trying to be her "knight in shining armour" or trying to "fix her" as some have said, but just the fact the good times I have had with her-(which include more than just sex) have been the best times I have had in like forever. And 95% of the time, it is that way. It's just that other 5%, you know?
We had a LONG talk today, and although she said over the past year, she has only been occasionally seeing her therapist, she promised that after the plate incident, that she will start going more regularly. She also wants us to start going to see her therapist together. Which I thought was a good idea, because neither of us exactly have strong family support bases, so it is probably good to be there for each other, and it could be a good way so I can express my exact feelings about certain things as well without her switching off... even though I think she knows.
Because she does have empathy. I have heard and read that BPD sufferers don't have empathy, but she definately does, she can tell straight away if I am down and it seems to affect her. But at the same time, she knows how to bring me down as well.
For example, last month, we had dinner reservations, and she was pissed off at me for an incident earlier in the day where we were at the mall, and she thought I was checking out another girl, so in retaliation, by the time that I had forgotten about it, and thought it was in the past. When we sit down at our table, and the waiter comes over, she just starts majorly flirting with him right in front of me, with everything from the non-stop giggling, to the hair twirling, running her hand down her leg and then leaning forward to show him her cleavage. It was seriously a whole show, and the people at the two tables next to us were just looking at me forlornly, which was horrible, and I really didn't know what to say to her. But then she realised what she did had upset me and wasn't right, and she made an honest apology to me like 2 minutes after. Make of that what you will.
I noticed some people said that there's a chance that I have a personality disorder as well, which got me thinking... I have never been diagnosed with anything, but I do have some traits which could be linked to some kind of PD-(I pick at my lips and tongue without even realising I am doing it-(to the point where I have made my tongue bleed), and have a couple of strange compulsions), so there is a chance that I have something as well, but it's not co-dependency. I have always been the sort of person that really only looked out for myself up until I met my girl.
For now though, I think I am going to continue with the relationship, because even with the bad, she is the first truly good thing to happen to me and break my monotonous lifestyle of "Sleep-In, Gym, Poker, Video Games/Movie, Sleep" .
And to the people that asked how I put a roof over my head with no employment, I inherited my late Grandmother's house and pay the bills with poker money, but I'm just a grinder, not a high-stakes guy at all, so I am just getting by. The fact my girl accepts me for that is nice as well, because girls before her just saw my lifestyle, and automatically wrote me off.