Bless me father for i have sinned.

It is been my entire life since ive confessed cause im a jew and dont need absolution from you.

My confession is that i forgot to put the toliet seat back down yesterday and my gf yelled at me and called me a horrible person.

Am i a horrible person father?

I was expecting a brad booth joke thread

I turned right on red once when the sign clearly said "no right on red" but I didn't care b/c I'm a rebel.

I've stolen groceries before. Just walked right out the door with a basket thing full of groceries. Done it twice if I recall correctly.

No virgin me
For I have sinned.
I sold my soul
For sex and gin.
Go call a priest,
All meek and mild.
And tell him, "Mary is no longer a child."

How come you decided to steal them? Things a bit tight with money or just for the thrill of it?

I killed that Lincoln bastard.

Sic Semper Tyrannis!

I shot a man in Reno

Forgive me Father for I have sinned.

I slowly castrated a dude with a dull butter-knife

But in my defense -- it was RoundDaughter's fault.

I clicked "I have read and understand the terms and conditions" when I hadn't actually read them at all.

When I was 12, I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew, which I do believe my sister ate, at least I hope she did.

stop doing this immediately

theres an awesome BBV thread, where theres an address you can email your anonny confessions to, and then they OP posts them.

But since this isnt anonymous im not going to tell you all my dirty secrets

When I was around 9-10, I lived next to a really nice private golf course. It had a lot of gullies filled with thick bush and trees between most fairways and a stormwater drain system that ran directly through the middle of the course. I'd sneak in through the stormwater system (the covers were always open for some reason) and build treehuts and stuff in the bush. There was one hole where you'd tee off over water, then walk down onto a bridge that was lower than the height of the fairway. From where most of the balls would land you'd have about 15 seconds where the golfers would be completely out of sight. I'd hide in the bush and the instant the last golfer disappeared sprint out and grab the closest balls then hide in the stormwater drain before they came into sight. I'd store the balls under my bed at home. Over a 2 year period I must have ended up with over 500 golf balls.

I still feel bad about the number of rounds I must have wreaked.