^^^Love it, Mike, thanks.

Think I've got to go with the car wash bit, though. Jeopardy bit is still pretty flawed, not as funny, and the only really big laugh is the last line.

I'm going to cut the zip code/Edina part, as most folks seem unfamiliar with that step in the gas-buying process--and the bit is too long, any way (Edina may be the "right" answer--it and Eden Prairie were the first to jump to my mind when I wrote the joke--but Yugo's suggestion of "Minnetonka" was perfect, imo). Receipt/rewards card/grade is enough set-up to build my exasperation before i get hit by car wash. Also cutting soda fountain/worn buttons stuff, and change all my answers to increasingly frustrated repetitions of "OK, fine, now turn the pump on, I'm freezing!"

Posted on FB to my friends, asking them to show up to this. All the eager, excited responses are from people who will be out of town that day.

Bobby Socko
Bobby Time

Ytf,

So the best advice you read is to tell jokes not stories. Everyone here tells you these are stories, tell some jokes. And your plan after all that is to... tell a story.

Since you seem committed to that plan, a couple more pieces of feedback.

Long sections of exposition like that without any jokes are going to feel like forever for both you and the audience.

That's maybe fine/whatever as a bang-bang quick punchline. But that's gonna be a real letdown of a closer after that loooooong buildup.

I hope you take the advice to videotape your routine and post it here for feedback before hitting the stage.

Cuesack

eliminates the Q but leaves a verbal symbol reminiscent of your real name, and gives the hecklers a nice 2nd syllable to work with.

Being serious here, you really should take El Diablo's words to heart. You are a good story-teller, and I have no doubt you have a funny demeanor when you tell them irl, but you really need some jokes. The great thing is, you are in an amazing position as OOT has a bunch of funny posters, and some of them are obviously willing to help you out for free. Iam pretty sure you could work this out to 3 minutes of good material at no cost to you.

If it's going bad, you should go with the nuclear option and insult and offend the locals:

- They should call this place Extra Large Soda, because you're all fat and disgusting.

- Don't you hate when people slow down to look at car accidents? It's like, "I get it, Malik Sealy is a famous basketball player, but I HAVE PLACES TO BE!"

Dr. Spaceman killing it ITT.

Spaceman,


Oh man, second one is INTENSE!

Reminds me of the classic Bill Burr rant in Philly.

Bobby El-Shabazz

Bobby Q is the non-rhotic phonetic equivalent of barbecue. Seems perfect.

LM,

Haha, Bobby Q should be a Southern fat black guy.

Bubba Q

Bobby Fat

Well, I meant perfect for ytf within the parameters. He could go with A. Bread but I don't think that resonates well as a stage name.

YTF,

Have a friend record your set. You can use the video to improve and also provide entertainment for this thread.

Ytf,

Go with a mafioso style name like Bobby Eyebrows.

YTF,

I've seen hundreds of people do stand up for their first time. Lots of them make the same mistakes. A few things you should know

1. The stage lights will be bright. Don't let the first thing out of your mouth be "Wow, these lights are bright."

2. Speak in to the microphone. I know this sounds obvious, but lots of people manage to screw this up. It needs to be in front of your mouth, not casually held at mid chest.

3. If you take the mic out of the stand, move the stand off to the side and behind you. Don't just leave it in front of you. It creates an unnatural barrier between you and the audience.

4. Look at the audience, not the ceiling or your feet. You don't have to make full eye contact or anything, but at least be looking in their general direction.

5. Don't compare your first time doing stand up to losing your virginity. It has been done to death by a million first time comics.

6. Don't use a clever stage name. Every comic in the room will judge you harshly for it, and they will be making fun of you behind your back. If you are legitimately concerned that the host will flub your name, then use your middle name in place of your last name. Anything that the could be an actual name is fine, anything that isn't will make you look like a tool.

7. Don't go over your time. This is by far the most important thing. No on expects a first timer to be funny, but as long as you don't blow the light they'll let you come back and keep trying to get better.

8. Be respectful of the other performers. First time comics often have a lot of supportive friends and family that show up, which can lead them to have a false sense of how well they have done. Occasionally this leads them to say disrespectful things to more established comics. Be smarter than that.

Good luck and have fun.

YTF your 150lb+ weight loss is a USP. Try to work in some gags about that. Stories are fine if you're a great story teller who can draw in an audience but the chances are very strong that you're not. Plus you only have 3 minutes. Do 60 seconds on fat jokes, use Spaceman's hotel arse-wipe joke plus a couple of others you can naturally segue in to the joke. That's another 60 seconds. If you tell a 60 second story and people don't laugh at the punchline they're pissed at 60 wasted seconds. If you tell two crap one liner and then a killer, they'll remember the latter and forget the first two.

bobbie smalls

bobby grasso

bobby ciccione

I like the mafia-themed names:

Bobby the Wop
Bobby the Belly
Bobby Shoelaces

or you can roll with some Irish mafia ones:

Bobby O'Belly
Bobby Shenanigans
Bobby Potatobake

or you could rip off other comics' last names:

Bobby Cosby
Bobby C.K.
Bobby Seinfeld
Bobby MacDonald

Chase,

Bobby Shoelaces, nice!

Bobby Mac "you prob think they call me Bobby Mac because my last name's something like MacDonald, but actually it's because I love EATING McDonald's so much!"

Bobby C.K. hahahahhaha

ytf,

You gotta have a gas station eating joke in there.

"You know how every time you fill up at the gas station you eat 4 doughnuts and 2 muffins from the mini-mart?" <so many possible ways to go from there!>

Bobby Shenanigans the best of that bunch. Maybe Bobby Buttons if you're going with other comedians last names.

How tied are you to "Bobby"? Would you consider "Bay-Bay" or "Bobo"? Opens up some new possibilities.