I used to be just like this when I would get asked for input on stuff in store meetings at Target. All throughout undergrad I was like this when called on or asked to get in front of class. Preparation didn't matter. When I went to graduate school classes were much smaller and I had to participate every single class. At first I was still very much scared but after four semesters of it I got comfortable. Now if I have to speak in front of the commissioners or asked for input in meetings I don't even flinch. The combination of being put on the spot so much in class and feeling comfortable around those I was interacting with took away all the fear and anxiety. But still to this day I get somewhat nervous when there is someone there I am not comfortable with or that I think I have to impress. Luckily for me this is very rare.

I took a class to get over it, but other that practice videotaping yourself helps tremendously.

Try amateur standup comedy for a while. Nothing you ever do in front of a crowd will scare you again.

Haha...funny, but true.

I have plenty of experience with public speaking, which is unfortunate because I hate it and get pretty nervous most of the time too.

I have a fear that if I do this overly confident routine and state something that's later proven wrong it'll then look even worse though. So I tend to do caveat things way too much (lots of "we still need to confirm to be sure", etc.) and I'm sure it often comes off as unsure or lacking confidence.

I also have a bit of Social Anxiety Disorder in general, although I don't consider it to be nearly bad enough to truly call it "disorder". I really do need to try some pills to see how they work though. Maybe I will try Xanax for my next presentation and write a TR.

Good insight. I've never thought of it that way.

In my case it is practice, practice and practice.

Don't think of it as speaking, think of it as talking. The biggest presentation is still nothing more than a simple one-on-one conversation, with everybody in the room.

If somebody asks you a question, you answer, to them. It's just like a conversation.

Now, if you get nervous during one-on-one conversations, then you need other advice. But if you are fine with a simple conversation, think of presentations as a simple conversation.

I think talking down to your audience is a big mistake. That will likely offend others, who will retaliate by being on the offensive towards you. Be respectful, and just talk. Thinking about "speaking" is going to make it much more formal than it needs to be. It's just a conversation.

I hope this helps,

Josh

I hear poledancing for your significant other helps, no joke.

As soon as you realize that talking in front of a crowd is something you are completely able to handle (as you most likely are seeing you landed a job in finance), the nervousness will fade. You might even get a kick out of it.

My girlfriend is great talking in front of crowds. She says that for a while she absolutely hated it, but that her dad (doctor) before big presentations would let her take medicine that sets your heart rate to a very low rhythm. It's apparently **** for any kind of physical activity - like walking stairs - because your body can't adjust to the inputs. It's also supposed to be great in that you feel very calm in front of all those people, I guess the nerves can't communicate properly.

I wish I could have gone that road as opposed to spending years getting rid of my unease about talking in front of a crowd. Even if it might sound a bit wrong, I really think the quickest and perhaps even best solution is to ask your doctor about it and see if there is some kind of harmless medication you can take. As soon as you've delivered a couple of solid, comfortable presentations you won't have a problem anymore.

Preparation is #1, I will even make a notecard with key points if I get "stuck", while I generally don't need it, it will give you a sense of comfort.

Make a conscience effort to slow way down.. most people just rifle way to fast through presentations.

I don't have any business experience or anything like that, but I do have a theory (albeit a bit of a stab in the dark) about your situation.

I think you've come to interpret public speaking as a burden. I always remember I hated doing presentations in school growing up and in college. Although today, if for some reason I had to speak publicly, I don't think it would be the same thing. (I might not be especially comfortable with it, but it wouldn't be the same sort of dread, because I'd only be doing it if I knew I was getting something out of it.)

I think what might help you is to recognize that you don't have to do it. No one's holding a gun to your head making you sit in that room and recite some paragraph. In fact, when it's your turn to speak you could stand up and give yourself rabbit ears and say "gdhgdsjghgdfhfjk" and then throw a pie at the guy next to you.

I mean, there would be consequences. But you can do whatever the hell you want. You don't have to work for them. You could go flip hamburgers or beg for money on the street. But (presumably) you're there because you want to be there and you decided it's the best situation for you. And I think that's important to recognize. And then you see that giving these occasional talks is just a part of something *you* chose and you want. Rather than some elusive burden that you just "have to" do.

This probably isn't the type of perspective you were looking for, but maybe it's helpful.

Hi There,

I know exactly what this feels like and I hope that I can offer some assistance. I recently bought a book that I think has really helped me and maybe it can help you too. It is called "Taming your Public Speaking Monkeys" by Dee Clayton. She encourages you to think of the voices in your head as 'monkeys' and then you learn to control and tame them. For some reason it really works. I feel so much better about speaking in public and I feel like I've definitely gone over a hurdle. It's really worth a look if you're feeling like this, there's more info on her website here:
http://www.deeclayton.com/page/overc...self-help-book

Not this.

OP, it's like getting in cold water, you just have to do it and then it's no big deal after awhile. Everyone is terrified at first, but you've put this off well into adulthood instead of it happening when you were a child. I remember being scared as hell to speak in front of my junior high classes, then after awhile you get used to it. Sure there might still be nerves at more important occassions, but once you've developed the habit of going through with it, then you're all good.

So you just have to jump in the water, right now you are one of the people sitting in a chair while everyone else is in the pool swimming.

30:1?? So if you lectured for 3 hours a week you prepped for 90 hours just for the lectures??

Some time ago, when I had been working in a new place for a month the first company meeting came up and they had the tradition to call out new employees to give them flowers and to introduce them officially to the rest of the team. Lol, a coworker told me that the tradition was to hold a little speech about yourself and about the first impressions.
I surely didn´t like that.

And when I started my speech he started laughing and everybody looked at me sort like an attentionwhore who thinks about himself very highly due to the completly inappropriate time to hold a random speech.

Well played!

- Remember that public speaking is consistently listed as one of peoples' biggest fears, so many other people share your anxiety and will respect you for getting up and speaking in the first place.

- Don't look at speaking as an interrogation. Instead, view it as an opportunity to inform your audience.

- Prepare and make sure that you know your material. If you feel confident about your knowledge base, you'll feel comfortable with your ability to share this knowledge with others.

- If you do have to speak on a controversial subject, try to identify the people who are on your side before the speech and focus most of your attention on them while you're speaking. Hopefully, having a friendly/supportive face in the crowd will make things easier.

- Practice. The more you do it, the better you'll become.